Chapter Seven
Cooper sat back and watched her work.
“You were late on Friday,”
she said in the deep, dark voice she used when working with subs. “Did you think I wouldn’t know?”
Matt Sims was a close friend of the Lodge family and a pretty hard-core sub. Gabe preferred working with women, as it was his sexuality that tied into his Dom identity rather than his core personality. Or the dude was horny all the time and didn’t want to put in the work if there wasn’t a chance he might get something out of it.
So they’d inherited Matt, who was submissive to his core and also bad at being on time.
“I’m sorry, Mistress.”
Matt was down to a Speedo and nothing else, on his hands and knees on the floor, head down and waiting. He was in his mid-twenties and hadn’t found a permanent dominant partner yet, though not for lack of trying. He’d run through most of Dallas’s gay Doms. Another reason he was here with them. “I didn’t hear my alarm.”
They were in what Cooper liked to think of as the red room. It was a room specifically equipped for all types of punishment. Or funishment, depending on your point of view.
How many times had he dreamed of getting her in here, laying her out across his lap, and slapping that gorgeous ass until she agreed to never deny him again? So many times.
But he knew he was ready when he saw himself laid out and her giving the punishment. When he realized he would do anything for her. When he decided his love didn’t have to be a selfish thing.
Convincing her was going to take time, and he was determined to be patient.
“Whose fault is that, Mattie?”
Kala asked, tapping the paddle she carried against her palm.
“Mine, Mistress,”
Matt said, every word flavored with anticipation.
“And what happens when you’re a bad boy?”
“I get punished.”
Normally he enjoyed these sessions. Sometimes they were the only times he and Kala connected, but something was off with her this evening. For one thing the baddest Domme he knew looked soft, her pink hair in long curls rather than ruthlessly slicked back. He liked her any way she came, but this was a particular treat.
Like when she came to the homecoming dance their senior year of high school in a blue strapless dress, her hair in an elegant updo that had everyone thinking she was Kenz.
Even him.
When he’d walked up to her and asked if Kala had stayed home, it had taken her a moment to reply. In that instant, he’d seen the hurt. Like he should have known. Of all the people in the world, he should have known.
She’d walked out without a word and he’d…well, he’d been crowned homecoming king and everyone had cheered, and he’d known it didn’t mean a damn thing.
How many times could he break her heart and still have a chance?
“It’s a count of a hundred. Do you want it from me or him?”
That got his brow to rise. He sat on the spanking bench, relaxing back like it was a chaise lounge or something. He was altogether too comfortable in dungeons.
It was good to remember he wasn’t the uptight, nervous, needed to be accepted kid he’d once been.
The dungeon was their place. Their palace.
Even if it needed some upgrades.
“Really? I thought this was your project for the night,”
he murmured, watching the way she moved. Was her knee bothering her? She’d fucked it up on the Canada mission. Well, she’d had it injured by a man Cooper planned to kill.
“I like to give a sub a choice,”
she replied simply. “Me or the Master, Mattie? Know this is only the physical punishment. I’ve got tasks for you to complete before our next session.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
His head turned up, staring at her with a worshipful gaze. “And if I please you, may I spend the night on the floor?”
He wouldn’t be on the floor for long. He would be in a privacy room with whichever Dom caught his eye and shared his sexuality. Which was probably why Kala had offered. Sometimes he thought she would never stop testing him.
“If I punish him, he’s getting rid of the Speedo. You know my punishment requires nudity from a sub,”
he shot back. “It’s way more fun when you catch the dangly bits as they swing.”
She couldn’t shake his sexuality. He knew what he wanted and what he could give others. Some dude needed to get his ass whacked to feel complete? He was there for it. Someone liked to have their balls tortured? It was kind of like practice for what he was planning to do to Huisman, though he’d been far more careful with that guy than he planned to be with the doctor.
“The Mistress, please,”
Mattie pleaded, his head going back to a submissive position.
He tilted his head, a gesture meant to honor her. She was the one who was truly good at this.
“You make it hurt more,”
Mattie said with a happy sigh. “No one hurts me the way you do, Mistress.”
To Cooper’s mind it was code for something else. She gave Mattie what he needed and asked very little in return. She helped him without judgment. She was a goddess on the dungeon floor, benevolent in her controlled violence.
But for a moment, he saw that same hurt on her face he’d seen the night of the dance, her expression shuttering at Mattie’s words.
And then everything about her was a careful blank, from the look on her face to the tone of her voice. “Then I’ll have to do my best.”
She pulled her arm back and a hard thwack bounced through the room. They’d done something to the walls that made sound reverberate. He was sure Gabe could explain it to him, but he felt the sound as though she’d struck him.
Mattie simply groaned and took it like the massive pain slut he was. Cooper watched Kala, knowing he didn’t have to protect the sub. She could be mad as hell and never take it out on a submissive.
Why had she been hurt by his words? She often boasted that she was the toughest top in Dallas. Far better than any of the guys, and if they wanted, she would put it to the test. Of every aspect of her life, being a top was something she seemed most proud of. As if finding a way to serve her needs while helping others was her chief accomplishment.
What she didn’t seem to understand was she did that every single day.
He watched as she took Mattie through his punishment, the sub calling out the number of strikes. Loud at first, and then with tears dripping from his eyes. Finally in a soft voice that let Cooper know he was in subspace.
She finished with one last strike of the paddle and then stepped back. “You’re to go to Gabriel for aftercare. I’m in town for a few weeks, so expect that I’ll show up for an inspection of your apartment, and if it’s not clean in the way you have told me you expect from yourself, I’ll revoke your rights to The Hideout for a week.”
Mattie had rolled over on his back, a big grin on his face. “It will be clean, Mistress. And I’ll be more careful about being at work on time.”
Kala’s lips tugged up as though she couldn’t help herself. She genuinely cared about the subs they disciplined. “No, you won’t.”
Mattie laughed. “No, I won’t. I like this too much. It’s…it’s the only time I relax. Thank you, Mistress. I think I’ll forego the aftercare and find a hot Dom who thinks my pink ass is pretty.”
Mattie got up and strode out of the room with far more confidence than he’d walked in with.
Kala frowned. “It’s not pink. It’s red. When I beat an ass, it’s red. I get no credit.”
It had been a light red. Which was pink. But he wasn’t about to argue with her. He glanced down at his watch. Almost one. The Hideout had closing hours, but almost no one paid attention to them. They weren’t as professional a club as Sanctum or The Club. People would still be hanging out at four a.m. most nights. Though by then they would be up in the lounge drinking beer and playing board games or in the locker rooms watching movies or sports.
Kala always left early. Even when her twin and best friend hung behind, she would head home with the excuse of her dog needing a walk before bed. At two in the morning.
“I think he was perfectly pleased. Is that our last of the night?”
They’d run two scenes and had private sessions with two others. It had been a full night. He’d taken the lead on one of the scenes, but the private subs had both wanted her. He was feeling anxious. He hadn’t helped her enough tonight.
She nodded and walked over to the table where her kit was laid out, carefully cleaning the paddle before storing it away. “Yes. So I guess there’s not a lot more I can procrastinate over.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. “Why would you procrastinate?”
“Because I think we have to do something I hate doing.”
Now he was anxious. Like moving firmly into the angst direction. “What do we need to talk about?”
There were several things Kala Taggart didn’t like to do. Whites. She didn’t mind any other laundry with the exception of whites and folding fitted sheets. She tended to get pissed at them and ended up needing a new sheet. She wasn’t fond of cooking, but she could clean a kitchen and never complain. The only thing she really hated doing was talking.
If she thought they needed to talk, it was bad.
She took a long breath and turned, leaning against the table and looking at him across the room. “It doesn’t have to be a long talk.”
Such a remote goddess. “It doesn’t have to be an awkward talk. Want to come sit with me?”
He scooted over, offering her half of the bench. “Come here, Kala. Is your knee bugging you? Let’s get you out of those heels. Sometimes the top needs aftercare, too.”
She frowned his way. “How did you know? Damn it. I have to fix it. If I show everyone I’m hurting, they’ll know exactly where to hit me.”
She wasn’t coming to him, so he stood and ate the distance between them. He got into her space. She was more willing to be open with him in this setting. When they were alone and in their element, she would let him closer. The partnership he’d begun with her had at least done one thing right. “Hey, I was watching you closely. You favored your right side. That’s all. I’m sure you were in awful pain and didn’t blink an eye. No one else would notice.”
Her jaw firmed as she turned her head up. “I’ll get better. I’m doing PT.”
He reached up and wanted to run his hands through all those pink cotton candy curls, but that might be a bit much. He was being patient. He settled for clasping her shoulders. “Of course you will. You’re already bouncing back. This whole benching us thing isn’t about you. It’s about Huisman. It’s about Zach. Come on. Let’s get you out of the boots. You shouldn’t wear them while you’re in PT. They’re sexy as hell, but I’m way more worried about your ACL.”
“You know heels are part of the uniform.”
He had to handle her carefully. Despite what most people believed, Kala was actually pretty easy to deal with. She rarely got offended. She didn’t care what most people thought. Often people mistook her deep core of honesty for arrogance. If she was wearing the wrong jacket for some party they were going to, she would shrug and ask advice and change. But this was different. This was about her ability to do her job—both as an operative and as a top. He could address one of those issues. “I think you take excellent care of your submissives, and they would likely be horrified if they thought you were in pain, Mistress. Let them have their compassion. Sometimes it’s good to let them take care of you.”
She was a one hundred percent service top. She didn’t sleep with her subs. Oh, she would allow them to serve her at a party if they enjoyed showing off, but she wasn’t the kind of Mistress who had her subs wash her car or come over to do the dishes. She was the type of Mistress who would bring a sick sub soup and order them to eat it and get well and ensure they had what they needed.
He wanted her to feel that way about him, too.
“It does hurt.”
She started to lean over. “I ganked it coming down the stairs. I swear if I step the slightest bit wrong…”
He stopped her, offering his leg. “Let me.”
It wasn’t a plea. It was a…strongly worded request. She stared at him for a moment and then slowly brought her foot up, gently placing it on his thigh. He found the zipper, easing it down, letting his fingertips brush the back of her knee and then her calf. Such warm skin, soft and silky over firm muscle.
He pulled the ridiculously sexy boot off, setting it to the side before running his hand back up to her knee. “Does massage help at all?”
“Cooper.”
His name came out on a groan.
“Hey, you did almost all the work tonight.”
He set his thumb against her calf, pressing in. One of the classes he’d taken as a member of The Hideout was in therapeutic massage. Of course he’d also taken one in erotic massage, but he had to work up to that. He had to work up to tweaking her nipples and finding that place on her glutes that relaxed her enough he could slide a finger in her asshole, getting her ready to take his cock. “I think I should contribute something.”
Her eyes closed as he started to rub. “We need to look around and find some women subs looking for a professional top.”
“Or I can accept the fact that everyone wants the Mistress,”
he whispered, finding the arch of her foot and making her moan. “I don’t mind being your assistant. Besides, I give the gay guys some eye candy, and don’t discount that. I’m sure it’s fun to have something pretty to look at while you’re getting your balls busted. By the way, did I mention you look lovely tonight? I like the hair.”
“I curled it.”
She was also curling her toes, and that sent a thrill through him. “That feels so good. I hate massage. I don’t like people touching me.”
“You don’t like strangers touching you,”
he countered. She’d always been that way. It hurt her in school where everyone thought she was some kind of freak because she had boundaries. “You’re very affectionate with your friends. You just don’t go around hugging every single human being you meet. You’re picky, and that’s fine. The physical therapist isn’t recommending massage?”
She groaned and leaned back against the table, the motion causing her breasts to swell against her corset. “Yeah, but I don’t have to do what he says.”
“Kala,”
he admonished.
Her eyes came open. “I have to see a fucking shrink, Coop. I can’t do it all. I need to give on something.”
Compromise. He could do it. “Fine. As long as you let me know when you’re tight. I can take care of it, and you don’t have to deal with someone you don’t know touching you.”
“You don’t top me, Coop,”
she said, and he knew the tiger was close.
Luckily, he’d dealt with her tiger many times. He squeezed her toes and her eyes fluttered. “I know. I’m only thinking of the team. We’re going to get back in the field soon, and do you honestly want Kenz to take the lead in finding Huisman?”
“Fine,”
she agreed with a long sigh. “The things I have to go through for this team.”
It was a lie she told herself. She loved her team. She would do anything for them. He needed to get her somewhere more comfortable. Somewhere he could ease that corset off her and then rub her back. He wouldn’t try anything. He was being patient. “Why don’t we go to a privacy room so I can work on you? You’re tight, and you’ll be so much more ready for whatever your dad throws at us tomorrow if you’re loose.”
“I think we should fuck.”
He stepped back, dropping her leg. “What?”
A brow rose over her icy blue eyes. “Is it that surprising? Or repugnant?”
Holy hell. What was going through her head? “Surprising. Not the other thing. Never. Kala, you have to admit you’re the one who hasn’t wanted more of a relationship than we have.”
“And I don’t now. I’m not asking to be your girlfriend. I just think I don’t have anyone I’m sleeping with now and you don’t…”
She stopped, staring at him for a moment. “I didn’t think about whether or not you have someone. I should have asked.”
“You never have to ask. You’ll always know.”
Frustration welled where moments before he was preaching patience. This was what she brought out in him. The good, the bad. Everything Cooper McKay could possibly be, this woman unlocked. “I tell you everything. You’re my best friend.”
She leaned over, unzipping her other boot and stepping out. “I doubt it.”
“I might not be yours, but you’re mine. I hang out with TJ and Tris and the guys. I really thought Zach and I had a friendship going, but none of them compare to what I have with you. I’m not trying to replace Lou or anything, but since I walked on to this team, my focus has been you.”
“Interesting.”
She set both boots near her kit. “We’ve never talked about this. I was actually surprised you said yes. We hadn’t seen each other for more than a few minutes at a family get-together for years.”
“For eight years, four months, and three days,”
he replied quietly. “From the moment you told me at graduation you didn’t think we should talk anymore. You told me college would be an excellent time to move on.”
“You make me sound so cold,”
she murmured, her eyes not meeting his.
It wasn’t how he remembered it. His heart had broken, but he’d also known why she’d done it. “No, you were awkward, and you didn’t know how to tell me what you were really feeling.”
Now her eyes came up to catch his gaze, an almost challenging look in the blue orbs. “How was I feeling, Cooper?”
“Betrayed. Alone,”
he replied. “You never let go of what happened that night when I was so fucking dumb. You allowed yourself to fall into something of a friendship with me, but you held yourself apart, and then we were going to different schools. You didn’t have that tether to hold on to. You decided it would be easier to dump me than to watch it all fall apart.”
“There was no ‘it’ to fall apart, Cooper,”
Kala replied softly. “And don’t think I sit around thinking about the fact that you turned me down that night. You were right. Everyone was right. I was too young, and we weren’t good together. I was a kid, and I had this insane notion that I was in love with you.”
There was the ache he felt when they talked about high school. “But you don’t have that notion now.”
“No. I’m not the kind of person who falls in love,”
she replied with a surety he prayed wasn’t real. “I am the kind of person who is practical. We don’t spend a lot of time in the normal world. Well, the last few weeks not withstanding we don’t. It’s been a long time since I had anything regular. Sex wise. You might be getting it every night for all I know.”
“I haven’t had sex in two years, Kala. Not since I joined the team.”
He couldn’t say it flat out, couldn’t tell her he loved her and he wasn’t about to fuck around with anyone else. Not when they had an actual chance this time. They weren’t kids anymore. They knew what they wanted. Well, he did. He got the feeling she was going to do a lot of hiding behind those walls she’d built.
Now that he was settling into this conversation, the shock was wearing off. He watched her. She wasn’t relaxed. Anyone looking from the outside would likely miss the tight set of her eyes and how she cocked her head slightly. Sure signs she was nervous.
What if she was looking for another tether?
“I’m surprised to hear that. I assumed you were living it up on the nights you spend at The Club.”
The Club was the BDSM club he’d trained at. He still went and worked a dungeon monitor shift when they needed someone and he was in town. “I tend to work on the nights I spend at The Club, though I’ve played a couple of times. Gabe’s dad pays well. Trust me, I’ve thought a lot about what I can do professionally after my Agency days are done, and being Julian Lodge’s private pilot wouldn’t be a bad life.”
“I thought you meant you considered being a professional top,”
she replied.
He shook his head, all the possibilities threatening to swamp him. He’d made the decision to push her after nearly losing her. What if this was her way of doing the same? Kala wouldn’t ever come right out and tell him what she wanted. Not when it came to emotions she would deny having.
Why had he gotten Ian Taggart in a sexy-as-fuck woman package?
He was just lucky he supposed.
“I do this because I enjoy working with you. I have zero interest in topping subs on my own.”
She considered him for a moment, and he let her brain start to make connections. “You take all the classes. You do a lot of work around topping subs.”
“I enjoy it, but I don’t need it the way you do, so I’m here to help out my friend. Who is you,”
he said with what he hoped was a bland smile. He hoped whatever expression was on his face didn’t convey what he felt at the moment. Like a wolf who knew he was going to finally get to pounce. He wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly what was going to come out of her mouth next. A bargain. A practical, hey, as long as we’re both here bargain. “So neither of us has a lover right now.”
Her nose wrinkled.
He was using the wrong words. He had to remember he was the romantic one in this relationship. “Fuck buddy.”
“Yeah,”
she agreed. “I think maybe being around the rest of the team, and they’re all fucking like bunnies, we might be at a disadvantage. It’s not like we have a lot of time to go out there and get some.”
She could walk out of this door and find ten guys willing to take her to bed right now. They would kneel at her feet or offer to top her. They would take her any way she requested and come back the next night for more, but sure, she struggled to find a couple of minutes to get off. “I feel you. It’s hard. And can Lou and TJ, like, take a break every now and then?”
Her jaw dropped as she nodded. “I know. I thought once they’d done it a couple hundred times they might be chill, but no. I can’t walk into most rooms in our place anymore. And I can’t get any sleep because TJ convinces Lou it’s normal to wake up and have sex. He’s loud. I can’t sleep through it.”
Oh, TJ would kiss his feet if he managed to get Kala to sleep in his bed instead of sneaking into Lou’s. Because she had bad dreams, and it was a comfort from childhood.
He intended to become her comfort. “Don’t forget your sister.”
“She and Dare do it at work,”
Kala said. “Dad walked into Dare’s office and… Well, he did the I-can’t-see thing for two days. It was kind of funny. All my siblings embarrass my father when it comes to sex. Seth sleeps with any woman with a pulse. Travis forgot to wear a condom. Tasha humps a Canadian on a regular basis, and Kenz really wants to. Though a different Canadian.”
“Your dad loves Dare.”
Big Tag was a character. So was his daughter. “I think Parker is a different story, although the man bought a lot of goodwill with all of us. He didn’t have to save you.”
She put a hand up. “I can’t talk about that tonight. I talk about it too much. That’s what I’m saying. I need a distraction. I need sex. If you also need a distraction and need sex, then I think we should discuss having sex together.”
So intellectual. So practical. He needed to be the same. He was sure his mother would tell him he should sit down and talk to her, get all their feelings and emotions laid out on the table. But oh, she’d tried to talk to him once and he’d shut her down. He was certain she told herself that rejection didn’t matter now, but it did. There was still a vulnerable fifteen-year-old girl in there, and he wasn’t about to disappoint her again. If she needed him to play the stud for a while, he could do it. But they didn’t need a bunch of talk.
His heart threatened to clench even as his dick hardened to the point of pain.
He was finally, finally getting his hands on Kala Taggart. He had his chance. He wasn’t going to blow it.
“I think that sounds like a plan. Let’s start now.”