Chapter 30
Noelle strained her eyes to see in the dark ahead of her vehicle.
As she and Max drove out of Bend, the snow turned into a heavy downfall of big flakes that blocked her view on the unlit country roads and reflected her headlights back into her eyes.
The snow had filled the tracks of any cars that had gone before her, leaving a smooth white surface where she couldn’t be certain of the edge of the road’s shoulder.
She was thankful that Max was following and that her county Tahoe had heavy snow tires. She also had chains but hoped she wouldn’t have to put them on in the cold and dark.
Their drive to Tommy’s house had taken them past the gate to her home, so she’d known the roads until that point. Now, several miles beyond, every turn and hill was unfamiliar. She continued to dial Emma’s phone and had sent a text asking her to call, but all she’d gotten back was silence.
A text from Max popped up on her dashboard screen. He wanted to know if she could see well enough in the snow. Noelle hit the reply button. No, but I don’t have much choice. She slowed to a crawl, studying the side of the road for a driveway that her GPS said was imminent. And drove right past it.
She was about to text Max to turn around but saw in her rearview mirror that he had stopped in time and was waiting for her return.
She did a cautious K maneuver, hoping the snow on the side of the road wasn’t hiding a deep ditch.
She got her vehicle facing the right direction and then turned up the driveway. Max followed.
The gravel driveway was in good shape and lined with small pines that helped guide her along the invisible road under the snow.
The pines thinned out, and she drove into a clearing, her headlights picking up nearby buildings.
Suddenly, from high above a barn door, a bright floodlight came on, illuminating the entire clearing.
Motion sensor.
She stopped her Tahoe in front of the small house, and Max parked beside her. No other vehicles were present, and she didn’t see a garage. If someone was home, perhaps they’d put their vehicle in the barn.
Before they’d left the city, she’d learned the property belonged to Thomas Hammaker, so she knew they were in the right place to find Emma’s uncle Tommy.
She stepped out of her Tahoe, leaving the headlights on, lighting the front of the home.
She lifted her coat’s hood against the snow that tried to float down her neck and noticed that Max’s hair was already white.
They approached the porch and went up the stairs, where Noelle pounded on the door. “Mr. Hammaker?” she hollered.
There were no lights on in the home.
Maybe he’s gone to bed.
She pounded again. “Emma?” she shouted. “Are you here? I’ve been trying to call you!”
“Check the barn?” asked Max.
“Might as well.”
Hopefully Mr. Hammaker isn’t a shoot-first, ask-questions-later type of guy.
They crossed the wide clearing, and Max rapped loudly on the barn door with a flashlight, calling out the man’s name again. He looked at Noelle and shrugged. Not ready to give up so easily, she grabbed the huge door and slid it open.
“Hello! Mr. Hammaker! We’re looking for Emma Chambers!”
There was a rustle down the wide dirt aisle, and a horse stuck his head over a stall door, his ears turned in their direction.
“Emma?” Noelle called again.
Silence.
“Let’s take a look,” she said to Max. Something about the empty property was getting under her skin.
He switched on his flashlight, and she followed as he cast his light in every corner and stall.
She stopped to pet the horse, and he nibbled at her sleeve.
“Hungry?” She looked and saw he had part of a flake of alfalfa hay in his manger. “Somebody fed him not too long ago.”
Did we just miss Emma or her uncle?
“Noelle.” Max had stopped near the end of the barn, his light shining on something. “Is this her bike?”
Noelle gave the horse one last pat and joined Max.
“That’s hers,” she said, recalling it from the first time she’d met Emma.
“But I know she’s borrowed one of Mr. Hammaker’s vehicles before.
Or he could have driven her somewhere. She wouldn’t try to ride the bike somewhere in the snow. Let’s check her house.”
“Anything more on her father?” asked Max as he slid the barn door closed.
“I never got a clear answer from her,” said Noelle, thinking of her conversation that morning with the girl. “I got the impression that he’d been gone awhile—but I didn’t know if that meant days or weeks. She did say that this Uncle Tommy would find him.”
He frowned. “That implies that Emma can’t find him. Doesn’t that strike you as odd?”
“Very.” Noelle wondered if she should have pressed harder on the issue. “She didn’t seem to want any help from me regarding her father. Honestly, she didn’t seem worried—just didn’t like answering questions about him. Maybe we’re making a bigger deal out of it than it is?”
“Maybe.” He gave her a quick kiss and got in his vehicle.
A kiss in falling snow.
Noelle followed their tire tracks down the driveway, trying to remember if she’d ever been kissed in the snow before. Out on the road, she resumed her snail’s pace as she drove toward Emma’s. They met no other vehicles on the road.
Because smart people are at home. Not driving in near-whiteout conditions.
She turned up the unmarked road she’d driven twice before and compared the rutted, rough ride to Tommy’s smooth lane.
The next turn appeared, and after a few moments of Noelle weaving among the huge volcanic rocks and pines, Emma’s house came into sight.
Next to the front door, a dim porch light was on.
But there’d been no tire tracks leading to the home, and again there were no parked vehicles.
I don’t think she’s here either.
Noelle exchanged a look with Max as they went up the snowy porch steps. And then she grabbed the railing to avoid a fall as an orange mass rocketed past her feet. “Holy shit!”
“It’s a cat,” said Max, who’d turned to watch the creature vanish in the snow.
“His name’s Cornbread,” said Noelle. She pointed at his covered tub near the door.
“We must have disturbed him.” The cat had left little blurry prints in the white fluff, and Noelle avoided stepping on the cute tracks before knocking on the door.
“Emma? Are you home?” She waited a moment and tried the door. Locked.
There were no lights on inside, and Noelle knew they’d struck out again. She checked her phone. No reception. Emma had told her the home was in a cellular dead zone. Noelle turned away from the house and paused on the bottom step, staring into the heavy falling snow.
I don’t feel good about this.
“Where else could she be?” Max stopped beside her.
“I don’t know. I don’t think she had many friends. She must be with ‘Tommy.’”
“You had the impression she felt safe with him?”
“I did. She was very emphatic about that. Perhaps when I didn’t return her call, she told him about the man she suspects was at her home that night. I feel horrible that I wasn’t there for her when she called.”
Max took her hand, and they stood together in silence for a long moment, watching the snow fall. But Noelle’s thoughts were anything but silent. She was concerned for Emma, and Max’s revelation about the past shooting was still spinning in her head.
He must have hated sharing that.
She sucked in an icy breath. Max had shared. And now she needed to do the same. It’d been on her mind for weeks, but the right moment had never come.
That’s a lie. I’ve been scared to tell him.
An FBI investigation into her second husband’s years-old unsolved murder had brought Max to Bend and face-to-face with Noelle a few months ago. The murderer had been found and then shot by police when he took a family hostage. The investigation was now closed.
Max—and everyone else—believed that Derrick’s murderer was dead.
The killer had beaten her husband with a crowbar.
But no one knew that Derrick was already dead.
Before the suspect beat her husband, he hit Noelle in the head with the crowbar, knocking her unconscious and leaving her with no memory of the attack. And with years of headaches and struggles with her short-term memory.
“Max,” she whispered. “I need to tell you something.” She kept her gaze on the falling snow, blinking as wayward flakes found their way under her hood and onto her eyelashes.
“Is it about Derrick?” he asked.
Surprised he’d guessed, she searched his calm gaze. “It is.”
“You remembered something.”
“I remembered that I hit Derrick in the head with the heavy figurine that the medical examiner said caused his death. The crowbar attack came after. I’m the one who killed him.”
Max said nothing and just studied her face.
He doesn’t seem surprised.
“I didn’t recall until after you closed the case, and I struggled with whether to tell the FBI.
I had no idea back then that you and I would .
. . become involved.” She pulled her hand out of his and covered her face.
“Knowing that I was the one who did it has been a huge weight on me. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time. ”
He turned and lifted her hands away from her eyes. She struggled to hold eye contact. The absolute calm in his features was terrifying her.
Scream at me or something. Call me a liar. Tell me you’ll have me prosecuted.
“I suspected that might have happened, Noelle. I knew what a monster Derrick had been to you.”
“I defended myself,” she whispered, gripping his hands. “He was attacking me.”
“I believe you.”
“I didn’t want any secrets between us.” Her gaze pleaded with his.
“I don’t want secrets either, and I’m glad you told me. I know that wasn’t easy.” Understanding was in his eyes. “I’m proud of you.”
Noelle couldn’t speak. The moment she’d been dreading for months had finally happened. “Are you going to dump me?” she blurted out.
Shock resonated in his face. “Dump you? Is that what you thought? Fuck no, Noelle. I’m in love with you.” He gripped her hands. “Who do you think I am?”
He loves me?
“I love you too.” The words spilled out before she could think, and his face lit up.
I didn’t think I’d ever say that to another man.
But this feels right. Oh so right.
He pulled her close and pushed her hood off. And then kissed her. It wasn’t the quick peck from twenty minutes ago. It was long and slow and deep and took her breath away.
Now this is a kiss in the snow to remember.
He pulled back and took her face in both hands, his gaze searching hers. “I think I fell in love with you that first day you walked into our interview and gave us so much attitude. You were like some sort of amazing Greek goddess who wanted to rain fire on our heads.”
She shook with laughter. “I was pissed. With good reason.”
“True.” He moved in closer, and she sank into his arms, resting her cheek against his.
“Emma’s not here. Let’s go home,” she whispered.
“Best idea of the day.”