CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 3
Do You Go Right to Hell If You Like Gossip?
I regret to inform you that no one died in this fistfight.
In fact, in the end, it wasn’t much of a fight. Despite the impressive punch, Tyler was out for only a couple of seconds, and then he sprang up like a jack-in-the-box and assumed some kind of karate pose that was, frankly, a bit embarrassing.
For him.
But before he could get off whatever Karate Kid move he learned from Mr. Miyagi, two security guards grabbed him under the armpits and removed him from the restaurant with a swiftness I had to admire.
The party broke up quickly after that.
Emma and Fred left in their car, wanting to split before the paps started circling like vultures. When it became obvious there wasn’t going to be any more free food or drinks, Harper, Oliver, and I tripped back down the beach and got dinner at the Waterfront, where we tried to talk about other things than what we’d just witnessed.
We had a pleasant dinner, and then went home to bed.
Not all three of us. Harper has her own room.
We share a lot but not that .
Just in case you were worried.
“What do you think all of that was about?” Harper asks the next day in the car. We’re on the 405 headed to Long Beach, where we’re going to catch the ferry to Catalina Island.
Oliver’s driving and I’m in the passenger seat. Harper’s in the back, sitting in the middle so it’s easier for us to talk. She and I would rather sit in the back with Oliver driving, but he draws the line at that. “I’m your boyfriend, not your chauffeur,” etc.
Fine.
“Fred and Tyler?” I ask. Because sometimes I can read minds, too.
Okay, it was probably obvious who she was talking about.
“That was extra , as the kids say.”
I laugh. “How do you know what the kids say?”
“I’m on TikTok enough.”
“Ugh.” I shudder.
TikTok is the worst.
And no, I’m not saying that because none of my books have blown up on there.
Not exclusively .
“What do you think, Oli?”
He curses under his breath as a driver in an oversized Escalade cuts him off. “I think I shouldn’t be driving in this traffic.”
Oliver wanted to leave at “the crack of awful,” as Harper called it, under the false impression that getting up before the sun would allow us to avoid the fate we’re in right now. But LA traffic is eternal. The only way to avoid it is to stay at home.
“I did offer to get us a car,” I say.
“You did.”
I let that lie there. I’ve learned a thing or two in this second go-around.
Things like saying I told you so aren’t conducive to happiness.
“So, what about Fred and Tyler?” I ask him. “Any theories?”
“I just write books for a living.”
“Brilliant books.”
“Books no one reads,” he says matter-of-factly.
I pick up his hand and kiss it because what can I say? His last book sold, as he likes to put it, twelve copies, even though it was his best book by far. But the book business isn’t a meritocracy.
It does make it a bit awkward, though, between us, when he gets the amazing reviews 23 and I get the book sales. I keep trying to convince him to write a book with me, but I think that feels like failure to him.
Or he just can’t see us writing together.
I don’t like thinking about that.
It feeds right into my insecurities.
“They were friends,” Harper says into our awkward silence.
“Who?”
“Fred and Tyler. They went to film school together at UCLA.”
“How do you know this?”
“TMZ.”
“You read TMZ?”
“You do, too. You didn’t see the video from last night?”
“There’s a video?”
“Eleanor, everyone has a phone. Of course there’s a video.”
“They should’ve had the party at the San Vicente Bungalows,” I say. “They take your phone away there.”
“Aren’t you always complaining that’s pretentious?”
“Well, yes, but since this affects me, I have a different opinion.”
“This is why we love you,” Oliver says.
I savor the word “love.” Sometimes I still can’t believe it.
I smile at him, but he’s concentrating on the road. “I think this is our exit.”
“Right. Shit.” Oliver starts maneuvering over four lanes of traffic.
“Does TMZ know why they were fighting?” I ask Harper.
“Something about bad blood over their last film together,” Harper says.
“ Julius Caesar ?”
“Yep. It was a box office disaster.”
“Why is that Fred’s fault?” I ask.
“It was his idea, I guess. Plus, his performance was...”
I start to laugh, remembering it. “Terrible. And that curly white-blond wig was certainly a choice.”
“I think it made less money than Gigli .”
“Right. But then, why work together again?”
“Hollywood?” Harper says.
“Hmmm.” I think back to the note Emma slipped me yesterday. Could Tyler have sent it? But no. Tyler didn’t know about the wedding until last night, though that could’ve been an act.
This is the problem with hanging out with film types.
You’re always questioning their authenticity. 24
“El’s right, though,” Oliver says. “Why would Tyler hire Fred to be in When in Rome ?”
“Tyler and Fred optioned the book together,” Harper says.
“Did I know this?” I say.
“Honestly, it’s like you just got into the business sometimes.”
“I know I have you looking out.”
“Didn’t you promise you’d start reading your contracts before you signed them?”
“That was for the future.”
“Did you?”
I watch the road. I signed a big new deal when I’d gotten back from Italy, and I’d tried to read the contract. I really had. But that shit is boring .
“I did my best. But I made sure my agent and lawyer read everything twice.”
Harper sighs.
“I heard that.”
“You were meant to.”
“So they had a fistfight over bad box office?” Oliver says. “That’s a bit extreme.”
“I don’t think it was just that,” Harper says.
“What then?” I ask.
“Apparently, Tyler and Emma were an item.”
My stomach falls like this is a rumor about me. “That’s not true.”
“Are you sure?”
I slump down in my seat. The sad thing is, I’m not. Emma and I haven’t been as close the last few years. Not because anything happened, but life goes like that sometimes. Friendships slip away or fall into disuse. You have to work at them like any relationship.
But even so, Tyler doesn’t seem like her type. Plus, she has this rule about not sleeping up. She doesn’t want to be seen as one of those girls. The ones who sleep their way to the roles of a lifetime because whether that still goes on or not (it does), everyone thinks it does. She chose a public life for work, but she doesn’t want a public private life.
I didn’t point out to her that marrying Fred Winter went against that in the worst way possible.
I only thought it.
But we’re all a bunch of contradictions. It’s what makes life interesting.
“It could explain the level of anger,” Harper says. “If he’s jealous.”
“Is he coming to the wedding?” Oliver asks.
“Tyler?” I say. “I think so. The whole cast and crew are. It was the only way to keep it quiet. They’d pretend it was a shoot for the movie—”
“Wait, wait, wait...Are you telling me everyone thinks they’re coming to watch you and Connor get married?”
“Not actual me and Connor, just the fictional ones.”
“Why is this the first I’m hearing about this?”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve told me that the less you hear about Connor, the better.”
“You’re right. If I never had to hear another word about that guy, it would be too soon.”
I pat him on the hand while Oliver turns down the road to the ferry.
Part shipyard, part boat dock for the rich and famous, sailboats line a series of piers while the ocean glistens under that same bright blue sky from yesterday.
My spirits lift like they always do when I’m near the water.
Today’s going to be a good day.
I can feel it.
“Oh Christ,” Oliver says as he parks the car. “What’s he doing here?”
Or maybe not.
23 The New York Times called his last book “dazzling.” They didn’t even review my book, just did a profile about me, which sounds nice, right? But is also kind of telling.
24 You should be doing that, too, because I already told you that it’s that kind of book .