Chapter 20
Ellie Trahan feels like a burning rod has pierced her side, dangerously close to her heart.
She doesn't understand it, no matter how hard she tries, she struggles to comprehend this feeling.
She sits at her desk in the office, rests her elbows and massages her temples.
She strives to put everything in order and thinks about each event she's experienced in recent months which, of course, have been like one of those rides where several people sit with their feet dangling in the air and suddenly, without warning, drop freely.
The divorce from Marcel is the only thing that has somewhat disrupted her life.
Well, that and the alumni reunion where she shamelessly devoured her best friend's mouth.
Since that moment, her tranquility has transformed into anguish, wet dreams, and confusion; that's why she can't figure out exactly what's disturbing her, because Ruby hasn't mentioned the topic or given it any importance, which leads her to understand that for Ruby it was just nonsense.
"I'm going to lose my mind," Ellie whispers and runs her hand through her hair in a futile attempt to let go of her thoughts.
Obviously, she fails; her mind works on its own and makes her relive everything she's been experiencing in an endless loop.
Suddenly she gets angry, frowns because here Ruby is the one who likes women, and her friend has the moral duty to talk to Ellie and explain that it's normal for a kiss to make her this nervous.
It's pure biology, two mouths joining with momentum after consuming a good amount of alcohol.
She clicks her tongue, starts to ramble, but she's so overwhelmed that many of the things she thinks make no sense.
The only thing she's clear about is that Ellie isn't the same as two weeks ago and that the flips in her stomach are becoming very repetitive when she sees Ruby in situations that are, of course, completely normal, like flirting with some girl or another stranger leaving her breathless, like that girl from the car or even the hateful Dr. Theresa Reis.
"It's going to be hellishly hot today," Ruby enters the office with a carefree attitude and leaves a kiss on Ellie's cheek. "I need to call Joe to come check the air conditioning at the entrance; I have a feeling it's not cooling well."
Ellie nods like a poorly designed robot and opens her laptop to start working. This is normally how she begins her day, checking emails, correcting orders, or fighting with some supplier, unless she needs to help her employees with a more urgent task.
Ruby leaves the office and returns ten minutes later with two cups of coffee.
Ellie realizes that the mouse cursor has been blinking for that same amount of time in the cell she marked in the spreadsheet when she opened the program.
She lowers her gaze and notices the aroma of coffee with a hint of cinnamon, exactly how she likes it, and Ruby Hebert does everything just as Ellie loves it, it's always been that way, but now it's as if she's living an extrasensory experience because she feels those small details and gestures from Ruby more intensely on her skin, gestures Ruby has always had.
"How was your date?" the question shoots out of Ellie's mouth and she closes her eyes tightly because she firmly assumes that, in reality, it's not something she wants to know. She'll go crazy.
Ruby takes a sip of her coffee and smiles broadly.
"Very good," she sits in her chair and searches through a folder. "Linda is very fun and we had a good time. I slept at her place and this morning she brought me to the bar."
Of course. Of course they slept together, otherwise, what reason would this Linda have to bring Ruby to the bar. Ellie supposes that sleep isn't the correct verb to use, but she forces herself to smile.
"Will you see each other again?" Ellie wishes someone would sew her mouth shut.
Ruby makes a face and drinks from her coffee again.
"It's possible, but first I want to focus on solving the bar situation," she pauses and releases what she hadn't dared to say until now. "I want us to resolve this so I can start planning my Route 66 trip."
Ruby hadn't brought up this topic because, if Ellie's life lately has been in free fall, hers has been a tortuous journey through a house of horrors.
It's ironic, but after so many years in love with Ellie and after the disappointment she felt thinking that her divorce was a possible beginning of something between them, opening a dating app is what has saved her, and it's only recently that Ruby has begun to shed the burden of loving someone who only sees her as a friend.
Ellie, on the other hand, receives the news like a kick to the ribs.
Route 66 is Ruby's dream, not hers, but they had agreed to go together.
Ellie knows she would be willing to pay her own weight in gold just to see her friend's eyes light up when they started the journey.
That gives her pause, because all her life she has been willing to do absolutely anything to be by Ruby's side and see her smile.
"I didn't know you were thinking about preparing for the trip."
"I've picked up the idea again, yes," Ruby answers with certainty. "You know that, for one reason or another, I haven't been able to do it, and I think we're at a point where the bar is working pretty well. It's a good time."
Ellie doesn't know whether to remain seated in the office or literally leave like a madwoman and attack anyone who crosses her path.
She feels rage, confusion, and disappointment.
Three negative feelings that drown her in her own stupidity because not realizing what's under her own nose is absurd.
No, it can't be, Ruby is her best friend and nothing more.
An attentive, caring friend with the most addictive lips she's ever tasted. Shit, she needs to get out of there.
"I've seen three locations advertised," Ellie changes the subject as she stands up. "They fit what we need in terms of location, space, and especially because they're quite good. With the money we have, we could pay the deposit and make some changes."
"Can you arrange the viewings?" Ruby isn't looking at her because she's checking emails on her laptop, she doesn't notice her friend's red complexion.
"We'll have to find some free time now that you're so in demand by the girls on the app," Ellie couldn't stop her venomous tongue.
Ruby looks up, tilts a smile, and winks at Ellie in a way that pinches her soul.
"Duty first," she says in a playful tone, "then pleasure. Schedule the appointments and we'll be there."
Ellie remembers that time when Ruby preferred to ride the go-kart with Isabella Duster instead of her.
She chose someone else over her best friend.
Ellie threw a tantrum, crossed her arms, and refused to get into that contraption with Oliver, that boy who was always sweating.
At that moment she was about ten years old and could justify it, but now she's thirty-three, she can't behave like a brat, even though her body begs her to stomp on the floor, utter three curses, and storm out of the office.
Instead, she pretends the comment amused her, smiles, and exits like the decent lady she is.
After helping store a frozen food order, Ellie goes out to the back patio to clear her head.
She doesn't want to think any more about Ruby or this strange feeling that's invading her.
She prioritizes solving the bar problem because that place is her life, the one that feeds her and where she's been very happy.
She picks up her phone intending to call the first contact for one of the locations when an unread notification reminds her that tonight she has a date with Seducer64; Tom or Ted, she's not sure.
She has the same desire to go as to receive a punch to the stomach, so she opens the message and, with a poorly crafted excuse, cancels the dinner.
She sighs because she would like to see Ruby tonight and talk until their throats go dry.
No one is like Ruby and that creates a pang in her heart.
She shakes her head to push those thoughts away and gets moving to arrange viewings of the possible locations where the Early Bayou will reopen its doors.