16. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
Lucas
I was in a bad mood when I drove to her parent's place to talk to Kath.
Since she broke up with Mercer, Kath had been living with her parents in their mansion, complete with sprawling gardens and towering magnolia trees. Kath had her own wing in the house. The driveway alone was enough to make anyone pause—it was lined with ancient oaks, their gnarled branches casting shadows over the cobblestone path leading to the grand entrance.
The Bellamy estate was even larger than the Covington family home where my mother now lived. After my parents married, Grandma and Grandpa moved into an old family house on The Battery, right on the Ashley River. I had left home when I went to university and, aside from a few nights here and there, had never moved back. The place felt too ostentatious, and I preferred something more muted. Like the townhouse I'd lived in for four months with Amara. That had been perfect…until she left. Now it was grim, mocking me.
I stayed in the car after I parked it, waving away the Bellamy family valet who wanted my key. I wasn't planning on staying long.
After I spoke to Grandma, I spent a good amount of time in self-reflection. I also talked to Jerome.
"Mama knew Amara was there, didn't she?" I asked him point blank. I knew he wouldn't lie to me, regardless of where his loyalties lay.
"Yes."
I felt sick to my stomach.
"You think she goaded me into that conversation because she wanted Amara to overhear us?"
"I have no idea. I couldn't say what is in Mrs. Covington's mind," Jerome replied without emotion.
"But you can guess."
"No matter what your mother did, you are the one who broke that poor girl's heart," Jerome stated in an unaffected voice, "You are the one who said you'll always love Miss Kath and you weren't sure how you felt about the Professor."
"You've known me all my life, Jerome. How do I feel about Amara?"
He smiled then. "I think you're smitten silly with her."
"And Kath?"
Jerome sighed, folding his arms. "You want to hear this?" he warned. When I nodded, he continued, "You and Miss Kath were toxic. When you were kids, it was okay. But there was always so much drama. You were fighting. You were making up. The family was pressuring you two to get married. You weren't ready, you were both too young."
Kath was a year younger than me, and when she turned twenty, Hugh wanted us to get engaged. I wasn't ready. I told him straight off that I wanted to wait. That had led to nonstop drama from my mother, Shelby, Hugh, and even Kath. I felt like history was repeating itself. Kath was available, and once again, everyone wanted us to get married. I was still not ready. And this time, it had nothing to do with age but my heart.
I had been stupid, I realized. Dumb to think that I wanted Kath, that the memory of the love I had for her was the real thing. I had never been in a healthy relationship, never seen one. My parents had a fucked up marriage by all accounts—they were distant and polite, and my father had affairs left, right, and center. I'd made a studious effort to know nothing about my mother's sex life before and after my father passed away.
"I'm not in a relationship with her right now," I informed him unnecessarily.
"Everyone believes you are," Jerome countered.
I knew how it looked as I was at social events with Kath and not Amara, but officially, I was not dating Kath. The only times we'd been out had been with Shelby and Hugh and other friends, never just us. There had been no romantic dinners, no dates. She'd tried, and I'd resisted.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" I said more to myself than Jerome.
"Son," Jerome spoke patiently, "You've carried a massive load all your life. You've always laid it all down for your family, giving them everything and anything they wanted or needed. The only time you've not was when you refused to marry Kath and when you, despite Mrs. Covington's protests, stayed with the Professor. You caved under the pressure."
Like wet cardboard!
Once Amara and I moved in together, my mother and sister, Hugh, and our friends started to tell me all the ways in which she wasn't right for me, for the family.
Had I finally weakened and given in? But then again, I hadn't. I still couldn't get myself to commit to Kath, the woman I thought I always wanted.
"I thought I loved Kath."
"Do you know what loving someone means?"
I stared at him. "Yeah, Jerome, I do. I love my family. My mother. My grandmother. My sister—"
"You feel responsible for them," he cut in. "And you love them because they're your family—it wouldn't matter who they were, you'd still care for them. But the woman in your life is not predestined like parents or siblings."
"With Amara, everything was easy…except with my family and friends."
"Your so-called friends. Real friends would've respected your woman," Jerome quipped.
"I feel like a fool. Worse, a marionette who has been following instruction without any agency."
Jerome rolled his eyes. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get your head out of your ass, son, so you can live your life the way you want to. You can't make anyone happy, only yourself; and the only way to do that is by being true to who you are."
My mother sang a completely different tune than Jerome when I confronted her. According to her, I had duties and responsibilities. I owed the family.
"You are the one who said you didn't love her, not me," she pointed out.
"Mama, I don't like being manipulated," I told her firmly.
"Son, I'm only doing what's best for the family."
"But is it what's best for me?" I asked.
Her eyes sputtered with confusion. According to her, I knew that what was best for the family was best for every individual—no two ways about it. She'd done what she needed to do to protect the Covington name, and she expected the same from Shelby and me.
"Look, Lucas, if you still have feelings for Amara, fine. Marry Kath and…you know…keep seeing Amara. Just not in public and keep it out of the society papers."
I couldn't believe my mother had just told me to start my marriage with a mistress on the side.
"And you think Kath will be okay with that?" I tamped down the anger racing through me.
"She'll pretend not to know. That's what a good wife does."
"Like you did when Dad was stepping out on you?" I demanded, feeling sad for her, pitying her for what she believed life was all about.
She gasped. "How dare you say such things about your father?"
"Mama, everyone knew."
She pursed her lips. "I will not talk about such obscene matters with you. It's abhorrent."
I sighed. "You knew, and you did or said nothing. I don't want that kind of marriage."
"You will marry Kath, and that's that."
"I'm a grown man, Mama; I choose to hear you out, but that doesn't mean I will do as you wish. Kath and I are colleagues and nothing more."
"What are you talking about? You've both been dating for months," she protested.
"No, Mama, we have definitely not been dating."
I walked out of her home before I said words I'd regret and couldn't take back. I was finally seeing the mess I had made out of my life. I had indulged my mother and sister; even Kath—and had let them all hurt Amara, telling her that she'd always come second to my family. And where did my happiness and well-being stand on my list of priorities? I didn't even know anymore. I was so busy being Lucas Covington that I didn't know who the hell Lucas the man was. But one thing I knew for sure—when I was with Amara, I was my most authentic self.
I got out of the car, the gravel crunching under my shoes as I walked to the front door of the Bellamy mansion. The entrance was grand—white columns, a massive wooden door with intricate carvings, and an antique brass knocker that belonged to a monastery in Italy, which cost more than most people's entire homes.
A butler opened the door; obviously having been alerted by the security cameras that I was pondering my life in the driveway.
"Mr. Covington," he greeted me with a nod. "Miss Bellamy is waiting for you in the garden room."
"Thanks, Oliver."
The butler closed the door behind me with a soft click, leaving me to navigate the familiar halls on my own.
I'd been here more times than I could count, yet I'd never noticed how cold this place felt compared to Amara's little cottage, where she'd hosted her friends. Her home was warm and cozy, filled with love and life, without an interior designer in sight. Maybe that was why I couldn't bring myself to sell the townhouse—or even move out of it—despite the guilt I felt being there without Amara. She had turned that space into a home, and the few months we'd lived there had been… amazing .
Why the fuck had I given that up?
In contrast, Kath's parents' house was immaculate and opulent, a gilded cage, a place where everything was too polished, too perfect. And I was here to break something that had been fraying at the edges for far too long.
The garden room was extravagant—floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking perfectly manicured gardens, antique furniture that looked more like it belonged in a museum than a living room, and a chandelier that sparkled like a million tiny diamonds.
Kath sat on one of the velvet sofas, her posture perfect, her expression carefully composed. She looked expectant. Hopeful, even. If I had to take a guess, it was because she thought I was here to lay claim to her, which meant my mother hadn't called to warn her.
"Lucas." She rushed to me and hugged me. "I'm so glad you're here."
I pulled away from her, my throat tightening as I crossed the room to get some distance from her.
"What's wrong?" She followed me and took my hand, leading me to the couch where she'd been sitting like she was on the cover of Architecture Digest magazine.
"We need to have a conversation."
She frowned slightly, but her tone was saccharine sweet. "Of course. But before we do, can I just say how happy I am that you're here? I know things have been difficult, but we've always managed to find our way back to each other, haven't we?"
I clenched my jaw. She took my hand in hers but I pulled away.
"Let's sit."
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to keep calm. "What I need to say isn't going to take that long."
"Lucas, come on—"
"Enough!" I was sick and tired of this woman, of my mother, of everyone who was supposed to care about me but refused to really hear me. "I told you I needed time to think about us getting back together, getting to know one another as we are today."
She nodded eagerly, smiling brightly.
"I've thought about this long and hard, Kath. The people we are today aren't right for each other. We're different and older, and I'm really sorry, but I don't want to explore a relationship with you beyond what we have today."
Her eyes widened, the first crack in her carefully constructed mask. "What does that mean?"
"I'm saying that we're going to remain what we have been to each other for the past five years, friends and colleagues." I cared for Kath, and I didn't want to hurt her, but saying this to her wasn't crushing my soul as it had when Amara and I had talked. That should've told me something, but I had been too dense.
"What?" she screeched.
"Kath, we've been holding onto a memory, feelings that don't exist anymore. I realize that I've been bound by obligation and a misguided sense of loyalty to the past. That's not fair to you. And it's sure as hell not fair to me."
Her expression hardened, the hope in her eyes replaced by a coldness that sent a chill down my spine. "You're ending us? Just like that?"
"Not just like that ." I shook my head wearily. "And, I'm not ending anything as we never started—you know that as well as I do. We've been trying to force a relationship that's no longer there, and it's only making us both miserable."
Kath stepped closer. "I'm not miserable. I love you. So much. Can't you see that?"
"If you loved me, you wouldn't have left me," I told her. "But, honestly, Kath, I'm glad you did; otherwise, we'd have ended up together, and that would have fucked both our lives up."
"You've lost your mind," she rage whispered. "We belong together. Our families—"
"Our families," I interrupted, my frustration boiling over, "aren't the ones who have to get married. We are. And I'm telling you, I don't want to be with someone who I don't love. I care about you, Kath, but with the same distance as I would any colleague or friend."
Her eyes narrowed, her voice dropping to a whisper. "You're doing this because of her , aren't you?"
"This has nothing to do with Amara. This is about me . I don't want to be with you. We're not the same people we were five years ago. And I don't think we should pretend that we are."
Her hands clenched at her sides, and I could see the anger building in her eyes. "You can't do this, Lucas. You can't just throw everything away. We're good together. We're perfect for each other. And if you walk away, you'll regret it."
"Perfect?" I echoed, disbelief coloring my tone. "Kath, we were never that. We've always been a fucked up toxic match made in Charleston society hell."
She took a step back, her face pale with fury. "I won't let you ruin everything I've worked so hard for."
Before I could respond, the door opened, and Hugh walked in, his presence filling the room like a storm cloud. He looked between us, his expression unreadable, but the tension in the air spiked the moment he stepped inside.
"Lucas." His voice was calm but carried violence right below the surface. "It sounds like you're making a decision you might want to think twice about."
I wanted to walk away and tell Hugh to go fuck himself, but years of conditioning to be polite and considerate came in the way.
"Hugh, I respect you, you know that, and I hate to say this and say it so bluntly, but this is between Kath and me. It has nothing to do with you."
Hugh's eyes narrowed slightly, his gaze cold as ice. "You'd think so, wouldn't you? You're just as selfish as your father; he also didn't care how his decisions impacted others. There's more at stake here than your personal life, Lucas. LPC is working on some important deals right now, and you wouldn't want anything unfortunate to happen because you decided to make a rash choice."
Fucking hell!
Hugh sounded like a mob boss, and he was seriously pissing me off.
I held his gaze, my jaw tightening. "Is this a nice house you have; you wouldn't want it to be burned down sort of threat?"
I played nice with family, and I thought of Hugh as that, but he should've known better than anyone that when it came to business, I was cutthroat, and I'd slice him or anyone else without compunction. I hadn't grown LPC, an established company, by over fifty percent in three years by being a nice guy.
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm simply reminding you of the consequences of your actions. You and Kath are good together, Lucas. It would be a shame to throw that all away."
I controlled my temper and took a moment so I wouldn't ram my fist into Hugh's sneering face.
Kath, sensing the shift, stepped closer to her father, her voice softer now, more controlled. "Lucas, just give it some time. We don't have to make any public announcements right now. Let's just…think about it. For the sake of our families, for the sake of everything we've built."
"There are no announcements to be made, Kath. We were never together, and we aren't going to be. You're a friend of the family, and we work together." I turned to Hugh then. "You threaten me again, Hugh; I'll stop thinking of you as a surrogate father and start thinking of you as a belligerent member of the board. We are a private company, not a public one, and I am the CEO. Keep that in mind and also what happened to the last belligerent board member."
It was a fair threat because that member had been unceremoniously kicked off the board. I had maneuvered it.
Hugh went red with anger. "You son of a bitch, how dare—"
"Daddy, stop it," Kath cried out and turned to face me. "Please, Lucas, take some more time to think about this. We can revisit when cooler heads prevail."
I turned to Kath, her eyes still burning with that fierce determination, that refusal to let go. Why had that stubbornness seemed attractive all those years ago? Now, it appeared obnoxious and even desperate.
"Nothing to revisit. We're done."
She said nothing, just held my gaze, and I could see the wheels turning in her head, already planning her next move. I could guess what that would be. With a personal setback, father and daughter would shift their focus to the professional. Hugh and Kath Bellamy didn't like to lose, and they'd come at me with guns blazing.