Chapter 3
That night at dinner, Sloan announced his intention to start his journey home.
Dinner, of course, was an interesting affair. Laird David Douglas sat at one end of the large table in the medieval hall; his wife, Shawna, sat at the other end.
Reunited after a great deal of danger and hardship, the couple were blissfully happy—nauseatingly happy, Sabrina thought at times.
Then there was her sister, Skylar, and her brother-in-law, Hawk—still basically newlyweds themselves, and madly in love as well.
Shawna’s uncle and cousins dined with them as well, but they, at least, to the best of Sabrina’s knowledge, knew nothing about her “delicate condition” as society was prone to call gestation.
The residents of Craig Rock seemed content and at ease now that the danger and evil had been rooted out and the laird returned to the castle, so conversation tended to be light and pleasant.
Nonetheless, Sabrina couldn’t help noticing that the people who knew of her predicament were giving her strange looks.
Her brother-in-law, Hawk, looked baffled and a bit angry. He seemed to think that it was Sloan’s half-breed status that kept her from marrying him.
His brother, David Douglas, the stalwart laird, didn’t seem to understand at all her reluctance to marry Sloan.
Shawna, David’s wife, stared just a bit guiltily, because she and Sabrina had become very good friends here, and it was she who had inadvertently given away Sabrina’s secret.
Then there was her sister.
Skylar. Who looked at her with pure hurt and reproach. Because she hadn’t told her herself. Skylar adored Sloan, so she couldn’t begin to understand Sabrina’s determination not to marry him.
Sabrina was tempted to get up from the table and flee to her room; but, Shawna’s family was being polite and courteous.
Alistair, Shawna’s very handsome and reputedly wayward cousin, was actually flirting with her.
Sloan didn’t even seem to notice. Sabrina, in turn, laughed pleasantly in response to Alistair until she discovered that Sloan was watching her with dispassionate interest. The slight curve of his lips seemed to imply that he wondered at just what stage of a relationship with the attractive young Scotsman she might divulge the information that she was carrying another man’s child.
But he looked away, and then Shawna’s older cousin, Aidan MacGinnis, asked Hawk and Sloan a question about the Sioux situation in the American West—truly not understanding how people couldn’t find a way to live in peace on so very large a tract of land.
“It doesn’t matter how much land there is,” Sloan said.
“Men will want more. To tell you the truth, the Sioux themselves have only recently migrated so far west—pressed by the White men who left the coast to claim the interior. Every year, the Whites move farther and farther west. They came to the Black Hills because gold was discovered there. Gold is a dream that brings settlers by the thousands, and settlers bring more settlers…and in truth, it is difficult for two very different ways of life to coexist with one another. No matter how much land there is, Aidan, there will never be enough.”
“There’s plenty hereabouts in the Highlands,” Gawain MacGinnis, Shawna’s great-uncle, said gruffly. “Most of our young lads are lost—to the gold fields of America. There’s plenty of fine land to be purchased here, and ye’ve plenty of friends among us, that’s a fact.”
Sloan looked at his wine glass, smiling slowly and nodding his appreciation, but then looking back at Gawain. “I thank you for the invitation, but I have to go home. I have family.”
“White family—or Indian family?” Alistair asked.
“Both,” Sloan told him.
“A lot of family?”
Sloan nodded, then said quietly, “Among the Sioux, the people in the same camp are something like what you call a clan or a sept here. I was glad to come here, but now I am anxious about what might be happening at home in my absence. I plan on starting the journey home tomorrow.”
To her horror, Sabrina was so startled that she clenched her fingers.
And shattered her delicate crystal wineglass.
All eyes turned to her. Skylar jumped out of her chair and ran to her sister’s side. Shawna did likewise. “Oh, my God, it’s bleeding!” Skylar cried, snatching Sabrina’s hand.
“It’s fine, honest to God!” Sabrina protested, wishing she didn’t flush crimson so easily. “How clumsy of me! Excuse me; I’ll rinse it off in my room. Please, continue with dinner. I’ll be fine!”
She leaped up from her chair, a napkin wrapped around her hand.
Sloan was watching her politely. He didn’t seem the least bit concerned about her hand. He didn’t offer to help her. He stood courteously with the rest of the men as she fled the room.
In her bedchamber, she poured fresh water into her washbowl and cleaned her hand, muttering fiercely as the cut stung her. She wrapped it in a clean handkerchief and began pacing her room.
Sloan was leaving. It was what she wanted him to do. She had said that she wanted him out of her life, and he was going to get out of it. Of course, according to his warning, he’d be there when she had her child. Her illegitimate child.
She moaned softly, sinking down on the foot of the bed, clasping her injured hand with her other.
She had barely sat when she heard a tapping at her door. She rose, but before she could reach the door, it opened, and Skylar swept in, a look of pure reproach on her deceptively angelic features.
“Sabrina, just what do you think you’re doing?” Skylar demanded.
“Tending to my minor cut.”
“I’m not talking about that; I’m referring to Sloan.”
“I’m not doing anything,” Sabrina evaded. “Sloan apparently feels that he must return to the States.”
“And you think that’s fine.”
“Naturally. It’s his life.”
“I see. This is what you want?”
“Yes, it is.”
Skylar crossed her arms over her chest. “You want to have an illegitimate child, place a stigma on the babe, live with everyone pointing at you and talking and wondering—when there is no need for it?”
“Skylar, that isn’t—”
“Oh, Sabrina, that is the way it will be! And by the way, I do know exactly what happened, even if you chose not to confide in me, after all we’ve been through together. I begged Hawk to speak with Sloan, and Sloan told him the truth—”
“His version of the truth.”
“Would yours be different?”
“Oh, Skylar, I did tell you—”
“I managed to drag a few words out of you while Sloan explained exactly how you were caught in a desperate position because of our stepfather. He understands completely now that you felt you had no other choice but to play out a charade. He apparently feels that you must make your own choices, but he does intend to be responsible to the child.”
“Well, there you have it.”
“Ah, what a wonderful picture! My niece or nephew, growing up with a stigma cast upon him or her, because of your pride.”
“What?” Sabrina gasped, staring indignantly at her sister. “It’s not a matter of pride, it’s a matter of—of—it’s just ridiculous, that’s all. Skylar, it was an accident, it was—”
“It’s a life!” Skylar reminded her passionately.
Sabrina went very still, wishing she could explain her feelings to her sister, and wishing she could understand them herself.
It seemed that so many thoughts were holding her back.
She knew so little about the Sioux, and they were so much a part of Sloan’s life.
She was just as afraid of the unknown as anyone.
And afraid of all that she knew to be savage as well.
She wanted to be near Skylar, because Skylar was her sister and her best friend; but it was equally true that Dillman’s death had left her free at last. She loved the East and wanted to live there.
She wanted to go to parties and play games, and flirt and shop—and enjoy her life.
She’d told herself a dozen times that she was being selfish.
But she wanted more than what was on the surface.
She wanted to be loved. She wanted some acceptable young man to fall head over heels in love with her.
And cherish her.
She didn’t want to be married in order to be simply tolerated.
“Just think about it, Sabrina. Do you really want to refuse Sloan? What will you do? Do you want to cut Hawk and me out of your life? Because we’ll have to go back to Mayfair; it’s our home.
And Sloan won’t leave the cavalry—or the Dakota Territory—now.
Too much is at stake; he’s too involved.
And if you try to go somewhere and pretend that you’re a widow expecting a child, he’ll only come after you eventually. ”
“Skylar—”
“Of course, it is your life. I’m so sorry. So very, very sorry.” Skylar came across the room, hugging her tightly. “I’m sorry for you. And as for Sloan…” She pulled away, staring at Sabrina. “You’re a fool if you don’t marry him. There isn’t another man like him in the world.”
“Oh, I don’t deny that.”
“Because he’s Sioux?”
“No. Not because he’s part Sioux.” It was only partly a lie. “I’m sure there are lots of half-breeds in the West,” she said lightly.
“None like Sloan,” Skylar told her. “But you do what you want. We’ll always be there for you; you know that. Lifting your chin off the ground when respectable folks whisper behind your back and ostracize my poor little niece or nephew.”
“Skylar!”
“Good night, Sabrina.”
At some point during the night, Sabrina woke up realizing that she was being a complete idiot.
If Sloan were a different man, her life might go differently.
Perhaps she could find a small town in California where she could go and pretend to be a widow and try to live out some form of respectable life.
She had the means to live on her own now because at Dillman’s death, she and Skylar had finally come into the inheritance that had actually belonged to them since their father had died.
But could she really leave her sister?