Six
Anika
‘You didn’t have to pick me up from the bus stand,’ I protested a week later.
I watched in consternation and secret admiration as Vikrant picked up the bulging bag from the dusty pavement and slung it over his shoulder. He wasn’t skinny like he’d been back in college. The man had filled out in all the right places, deliciously.
‘It’s no problem,’ Vikrant said. ‘It’s the least I can do after inconveniencing you.’ He indicated the direction in which to go, and I walked ahead of him.
‘Besides.’ His hand brushed against mine as he matched his longer stride to mine. ‘We don’t have ridesharing apps here, you know. I’m your designated driver for the duration of your stay.’
He gave a lopsided smile. I felt sick looking at it. Sick with longing and regret and a love that just wouldn’t go.
His smile faded because I didn’t smile back. I couldn’t.
‘The bus ride was okay?’ He asked, after a moment’s pause.
‘It was fine. We had traffic till we reached the freeway. You know how it is with Mumbai’s peak hours.’
‘I know. I don’t miss it at all.’
We reached a shiny, black, open Jeep and Vikrant tossed my bag in the backseat. Which meant that this sexy beast of a vehicle was his. My staid, intense, doctor husband’s. Ex -husband.
My eyes widened. ‘What’s this?’
‘It’s a Jeep Commander. I got it second-hand from a nearby garage and the garage mechanic and I spent a few weekends fixing it up. It’s a hybrid.’
‘I’m impressed, Vikrant. I didn’t think you were capable of owning something as sexy as this.’ I hopped into it and wore the seatbelt.
Unfortunately, my khaki shorts were not meant for Jeep rides and rode up indecently high. I blushed hard because Vikrant was staring at my displayed thighs.
‘I haven’t shaved in a few weeks,’ I muttered and attempted to tug the hem of the shorts down.
‘Don’t bother on my account,’ he said in a low voice. Then he unclenched the fist which held the Jeep keys and walked to the other side of the vehicle.
The words vibrated deep inside of me. With sexy promise and unspoken admiration.
***
Vikrant wore pressed jeans at four am in the morning along with a simple checked cotton shirt open at the throat. I could see his chest hair curling above the button. And I wanted, so badly, to tug at it. To pull him closer and kiss him and have him devour me whole.
Even exes could have sex, right?
Desire churned messily inside me.
To combat it, I reached out and started the music system the exact same moment that he did.
He gave a startled glance and took his hand back. ‘Rider’s choice,’ he invited.
‘I think I’ll take a nap if it’s far,’ I said, pressing my hand close to the seat. The hand that had touched him.
‘It’s not very far. Twenty minutes at the most. Nothing’s very far here.’
‘Right.’ I nodded. ‘Music it is.’
I pressed the play button on the system and an old Atif Aslam song came on, singing about ‘Woh Lamhein, Who Baatein’. I leaned back against the seat and enjoyed the cold morning breeze against my body as Vikrant roared on empty roads toward his home.
I questioned my sanity in agreeing to this insane scheme.
I was not fond of Vikrant’s parents. They were judgmental, silently so. And they thought their son had made a mistake marrying a woman of a different character, who was neither conservative nor religious, who actually belittled their customs and way of life.
His mother had actually told him that I was the worst wife for Vikrant, during the last visit. I shouldn’t have heard it, but I had.
And what followed was worse.
Vikrant remained silent.
He’d agreed with his beloved, precious mother.
And that silence had broken my trust in him like nothing ever could. I had defended Vikrant and our relationship to my dad. Vehemently and so often that Vivek had finally given in and arranged for a grand reception at Mumbai’s lushest hotel, a month after our hasty court wedding.
I wore a fitting white ball-gown and Vikrant dazzled in a rented tuxedo.
It had been a magical night.
And I thought, foolishly, Vikrant would do the same. Defend me when I wasn’t around. Tell his parents I was good for him. I was enough for him. But he hadn’t done that. He’d kept quiet and, in doing so, ruined me.
I blinked away unexpected tears as the Jeep jerked to a stop. There was no use rehashing the past. We were who we were. And now we were divorced. This was a play, a charade. And it would end soon enough.
Vikrant touched my thigh, and I almost jumped out of my skin.
***
‘You okay?’ Concern lined his black gaze.
‘I’m fine.’ I carefully took his hand away in a casual gesture, I hoped. ‘Just very tired and sleepy.’
‘Cool. You can crash for a few hours. Aai-Baba won’t be arriving till after lunch anyway.’ Vikrant gave a small, polite smile. ‘And I’ve told them to behave so you have nothing to worry about.’
My lips trembled and one tear streaked out before I could stop it. ‘I don’t need protection from anyone.’ I dashed the tear away angrily. ‘Not even your parents.’
‘I know.’ He closed his eyes, and an expression of insane hurt crossed his face. ‘That wasn’t what I meant. Let’s just grab some sleep, shall we? I’m tired too.’
I nodded shortly, unclipped the seat belt, my belly burning with repressed emotions.
And somehow, Vikrant was there on my side before I could step out of the vehicle. His hands were on my waist, biting into my skin as he plucked me from the seat and slid me length-wise down his legs before I landed on the ground.
I clutched at his forearms, staring at him the whole time. He was so close, one more inch and I’d be in his arms, tight against him.
Hell, I could see it in his eyes. The thing that drove me, drove him too.
Need.
It was devastating.
Vikrant stepped back, taking his hands off my waist, finger by finger. ‘I really didn’t mean to sound defensive, Anika,’ he said softly. ‘Please forgive me.’
He took the bag and trudged up the path to the place he called home, which had no place for me.
***
I was impressed with Vikrant’s home. It was built cottage-style with three floors, a huge, terraced roof with actual trees growing through the ground to the top, and a garden that even had a small vegetable patch. Construction was on for a marbled fountain. I gave a small smile at the sight.
Vikrant had always wanted a marble fountain, ever since he’d seen one in the lobby of a five-star hotel where we’d attended a medical conference as students.
The house was sparsely furnished; with mosquito nets in every window and wide-open doors that gave a stunning view of the garden. The wraparound porch had a hammock tied to one side with a free-standing lamp next to it. A half-open book rested on it.
I went to pick it up.
It was a sappy romance with a cover of a house like the one I was in, done in a teal blue color. I smiled some more. Some things never changed.
In my down time, I played squash or racquetball and wanted to go out. Experience vibrancy and life. Vikrant loved staying home and watching a cricket match, a good book next to him. We were a classic case of opposites attract.
‘That’s not mine,’ Vikrant spoke from behind.
‘I believe you.’ I placed the book back where I found it. Gave the hammock a gentle tug and it swung in the breeze. ‘This must be heaven, sleeping here.’
‘When I’m not dying of mosquito bites,’ he agreed, hands in pocket.
‘I’ll have to try it sometime then.’
‘Your bed’s ready for you.’ He pointed up. ‘First floor. First door on the left. I kept your bag there too.’ He hesitated. ‘It’s got a balcony and a lovely view.’
‘Awesome.’ I smiled, delighted. ‘Although I’m so tired I can sleep standing up.’
He smiled too, a little boyish. ‘You know I’ll catch you if you fall.’
***
We looked away at the same time. Because this…this was something I was afraid of too. When we weren’t fighting, we were so much in sync, it was scary. Part of it had to do us both being doctors, a profession that had unique and very specific demands, but it also had to do with us - Vikrant and Anika - and the joy we found in each other.
Remembering that was a blow to my heavy heart.
I picked up the book. ‘I think I’ll read a little before napping.’ The title was a reflection of my life – Heartbreak Vows.
‘Sure. You do that.’ Vikrant suggested. ‘I’ll go to the hospital and get my morning hours done before lunch.’
‘Alright. See you then.’ And it was so foolish of me to be so excited about seeing him again, but there you go.
I was a fool when it came to my ex-husband.