Eleven
Vikrant
‘You look happy, Vik,’ Ramesh Kaka remarked as he joined me near his hammock.
The idol installation ( murthi sthaapan) prep had gone off splendidly. Even Aai could find nothing to complain about or criticize for once. And dinner was a feast, prepared by Aai and Smita Aunty, to their best abilities. Tomorrow the rest of the family and all my cousins would descend on Aronda, with a few of them staying here with me at my new place.
Today, Anika had been a revelation.
She was actually the perfect daughter-in-law for once. She stood silently by my side while we sang the devotional songs to welcome Lord Ganesha into our home on the first day. She’d actually patiently waited for all the prayers to be done after the idol was placed at the mandal/altar.
And she’d not once made a snarky remark or rolled her eyes at the pomp and tradition.
Plus, seeing her in a sari was playing hell on my libido.
It was remarkable but pretending to be my wife made Anika a better wife than when she’d actually been one.
It was also sobering because it brought home the unrealistic expectations I’d had of her when we were married for real.
***
‘I…am,’ I admitted, taking a drag off the single cigarette I permitted myself. I flicked the ash away into the lawn and looked back at the living room, visible through the veranda.
Anika and Smita Aunty were watching something on her phone and they looked… content.
‘Good. I used to worry about you, Vik. When you first came home, last year.’
I didn’t want to think back to those first dark days. Days when I walked in a fog and worked to exhaustion. When I actually considered taking up drinking as a formal occupation because I missed Anika Chakraborty, MD.
When I had been so angry I hadn’t seen the truth dancing right in front of me. What happened between us was both our faults. Pride and prejudice and love and lust colliding in a terrible mix.
‘You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.’
‘No,’ Ramesh disagreed immediately. He squeezed my shoulder. ‘She does that, Viku. She does that for you.’ He glanced back at the living room too and smiled at Anika and his wife squealing at the mobile screen.
‘Don’t forget that.’ My uncle told me simply before going back inside.
***
I felt like shit for the lie I was fostering on my loving, gullible family. It wasn’t fair to them, and they wouldn’t really have minded if I’d told them a year ago that Anika wanted out. After all, my parents had withheld their approval of Anika for the entire duration of my marriage, so it wouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.
And it wasn’t fair to her, at all.
But…I was happy. After walking in a fog for the better part of a year, I was alive again today. And I was a selfish bastard because I wanted to keep feeling alive, keep her for a few more days.
After all, it harmed no one. And she was having fun too. I knew her too well to know when she was faking it and when she was genuinely enjoying herself. And she was genuinely enjoying herself.
So, what if it was all a lie, right?