Twenty
Anika
Anika, you idiot, why couldn’t you keep your stupid mouth shut!
I snuck a glance at Vikrant, resplendent and so handsom e in the traditional dhoti pants, his janoi ceremonial thread gleaming unholy white against his fit, brown chest.
He clapped the bells for the evening aarti while the thaali, the ritual plate, I held went slack.I was such an idiot, I cursed myself out for the hundredth time, missing out on tonguing Vikrant, the love of my forlorn life.
When he saw me looking at him, he tipped his head, as if to ask, what? I gave him a small smile and shook my head.
All around us, the family sang the songs for the aarti along with the visitors who’d arrived in steady streams throughout the day.
Luckily, Vikrant had planned ahead for this and ordered sweet-and-sour chivdaa – a crunchy snack mix - and store-bought sweet modaks, a coconut dessert made especially for Ganesh Chathurthi, by the kilo to give as prasad, the host’s offering. It was just my job to hand the trays of food to the guests.
Vikrant’s mom and aunt were manning the kitchen with military efficiency. And zero complaint from Vikrant’s mom.
If this had been the case three years ago, I thought with bitter regret, I would have willingly pitched in and helped out loads more when his parents came to Mumbai to stay with us, a few months after the wedding.
Since thinking about the sad past bummed me out, I focused on that wonderful, sex y kiss... that Vikrant had begun. He’d touched me with surety, with abandon. And his afternoon scruff had scraped deliciously against my skin.
Everything was familiar yet new…making it ten times hotter than it usually was.
Then I’d opened my stupid mouth and ruined the most sexual contact I’d had in months . And pushed away the only man I wanted sexual contact with.
Vikrant nudged me with his elbow, and I dragged my wandering mind back to the present. Rotated the aarti thaali in the eco-friendly Bappa’s direction. Lord Ganesha winked at me, or so it seemed in the blinking tea lights Vikrant had strung around the mud idol.
Help me , Bapp a , I prayed. Lord Ganesha was given the friendly name of Ganpati Bappa because he was the benevolent God who always looked after his people.
Because that kiss had done something more than resurrected my desire.
It had resurrected my hope.
***
‘One day done, four more to go,’ Vikrant announced as he flopped down on his sofa bed. Dinner had gone smoothly again, with the added cushion of more cousins and uncles and aunts. And everyone had finally dispersed to go to bed after chatting for an hour after dinner.
‘Yep. It went well, no?’ I idly checked my phone and was surprised to see three missed calls from dad. Vivek Chakraborty never called me, if he could help it. Someone had to die for him to make this effort.
Or I had to screw up cataclysmically bad.
The bed compressed as Vikrant sat next to me; touched my thigh in a friendly gesture.
He was smiling, no shadows, no hurt in his eyes. He looked like the man who’d loved me enough to fix a carriage horse ride at Mumbai’s picturesque Marine Drive at midnight for my twenty-fifth birthday. Then, not use it when I’d said it was animal cruelty.
‘Thank you,’ he said simply. ‘You’ve been…great. And Aai…my mom, won’t admit it but you’re the perfect daughter-in-law, now. Thank you, Anika.’
‘I didn’t do it for your mom.’
He squeezed my thigh again, his fingers warm and so male against the cotton fabric of my pajamas. ‘I know. You’re selfless and amazing and I should have appreciated you more when I had the chance.’
‘You’re flexible.’ I chuckled. ‘Who knew?’
‘Yes, I am, ma’am.’ He flexed one of his biceps.
My mouth instantly watered with visions of biting at the exact point, where his bicep melted into his tricep.
I dropped my eyes.
***
‘Anika,’ Vikrant’s voice was a husky whisper.
I swallowed, squashing the desire rising and the molasses-thick tension between us. ‘Bed,’ I babbled. ‘Sleep.’
He took his hand away immediately.
I couldn’t help it; I made a tiny protesting sound. The afternoon’s hot interlude had just driven home how much I missed him. Wanted him. Desire for him was a specific hunger inside me. But it was also the kindest gift I’d ever given myself.
Vikrant was the missing half of all my desires. And I finally understood that today.
‘Look at me, Ani.’His order was husky.
Undeniable.
I glanced at him, wondering how on earth I could hide the way I felt, from him. Wondering if I even wanted to.
Vikrant looked at me like I was a life raft in the middle of a stormy ocean. All salvation and nee d .
I tossed my phone on the night table. Deliberately. Giving him time to protest, to stop me. I reached out and touched his tee shirt. Fisted it in one trembling hand and tugged him closer.
He had to bend halfway over but he came closer, his own hands gripping the bed.It wasn’t verbal consent, but we had the shorthand of having done this a hundred times, ten thousand times. We both wanted this. This was inevitable.
‘We can sleep after,’ I whispered.
‘ Thank god. ’ Vikrant leaned in that last crucial inch and covered my mouth and body with his.