Chapter 21
twenty-one
Morning had come. The sun shone bright and strong through the bedroom windows. The clock said it was way past when Chance should be waking up, but he was on paternity leave. No need to race out to the pastures.
Chance looked at the sleeping woman beside him, his heart spooking like an unbroken horse.
He’d made love to Cordy. He’d brought her into his bed, let her stay there.
He ran a shaking hand down his face, willing his heart to stop sidestepping. Christ, what had he been thinking? Last night, she’d as good as told him she was moving out soon. Reed’s house was waiting for her.
That news had almost made him snap, and he couldn’t understand why. Cordy was a free woman; she could go where she pleased. Living in Reed’s house was the perfect solution to her problems. The Saxons ought to have agreed sooner—Chance was still pissed about that—but it was all worked out.
Okay, fine, he was pissed about her leaving, too. So what had he done? He’d gone bare with her, skin to skin, come inside her, and slept with her in his bed.
And now he was losing it.
Chance wasn’t in love with her since he would definitely let her go when the time came, so what was happening to him?
He had to get out of here. So he dressed as quickly and quietly as he could, didn’t say goodbye to the dog, didn’t even leave her breakfast like he had been doing.
Chance just disappeared.
The fence in the south pasture needed checking, so he spent his morning doing that. Luckily, his brothers were running a load of cattle to their Younger cousins, so Chance could be completely alone with his freakout.
If he had to face Quint or Rye, they’d know immediately something was up. Chance couldn’t stop sweating through his shirt, and it was barely over fifty degrees.
His phone was off, so he’d never know if Cordy tried to contact him. The guilt ate him up inside, but she had other people she could call—Ruby, Jaycee, the Saxons. She wasn’t alone or depending only on him.
She couldn’t depend on him; Cordy had to know that. He was a fucking mess, and the cold sweat dripping off his shirt hem proved that. One night together and he was falling apart.
Chance wasn’t built for this.
At lunchtime, he couldn’t resist the old itch any longer. There was only one place he wanted to be.
Luckily, it opened early, the better to draw men like him into ruin.
He grabbed one of the ranch trucks so he wouldn’t have to go home for his, gunned the engine, and tore off to the Red Dog to lose himself in his usual cure.
Cordy woke up alone in the middle of the morning.
It felt like it took her hours to open her eyes. Her brain was groggy, her vision fogged. The clock said it was after ten.
She’d slept too long. Way too long.
“Chance?” She called for him even as her instincts told her he wasn’t there. The house felt too empty, like it had been that way for hours and hours.
Only silence greeted her. Cordy wriggled her way out of bed, feeling clumsier than usual. Why had she slept so long? That never happened to her, especially now she was so far along. She’d woken up every few hours like clockwork for the past two weeks. It was one of the things that happened in late pregnancy, but it struck Cordy as very stupid. Shouldn’t her body be stocking up on as much sleep as possible?
When she tried to open the bedroom door, she almost tripped over Iggy. The greyhound yelped and whined when he saw her, plastering himself to her side.
Cordy rubbed his ears. “What’s wrong?”
Iggy whined some more. He pressed a paw against her thigh, staring at her like he needed her to understand something.
“I wish I spoke dog.” She patted his head. “Everything is fine. Let’s get breakfast.”
The living room was quiet and still. The kitchen was the same way. Chance hadn’t even left breakfast for her.
Which meant he’d taken off fast this morning. Usually, he at least left her breakfast.
After last night, he must be freaked out. And he’d run off. He’d probably left tire tracks on the driveway from peeling out.
Cordy sighed. Her tummy felt off, so she wasn’t hungry, but seriously? She wasn’t expecting Chance to stick around for a heart-to-heart, but not even leaving her breakfast sent a clear signal.
If she was a cowgirl, she could lasso him back. Drop a rope right around his shoulders and drag him home where he belonged. But she was only a cranky pregnant lady.
For a moment, her eyes burned. She should have known Chance would spook hard after something like this. He’d told her again and again he wasn’t one for commitment.
She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up and let him break her heart, but she’d done it anyway. Last night had been special, but that had only driven him away. He cared about her, but it wasn’t enough to overcome his demons.
Damn, but this sucked.
Cordy breathed through her nose as she wiped her eyes. She was a grown woman about to have a baby. She didn’t have time to be crying over a man.
Speaking of that, she ought to start?—
“Oooof!” Cordy grabbed her cramping belly. It felt like every one of her ab muscles decided to pull as hard as they could all at once. She exhaled hard, trying to stay upright. God, that hurt.
Iggy started barking, jumping around her as he lost his mind.
“I’m okay,” she said to him. He kept freaking out.
Slowly, she uncurled from her almost fetal position. She rubbed her belly, which was tingling with the aftershocks.
“That was some Braxton-Hicks,” she told herself. “I didn’t know they could get that big.”
Iggy made the saddest noise as he shoved his thin body against her. What was up with him? He wasn’t usually so clingy.
“Are you hungry?” she asked. “Is this because you didn’t get any bacon?”
She fed Iggy, but he completely ignored the food. Instead, he stayed close by her as she folded baby clothes and planned more freezer meals.
As she paged through the cookbook, Cordy realized she was restless.
It wasn’t like her usual itchiness, where she needed to get out and see something new. She didn’t want to leave the house but didn’t want to be alone. That limited her options on the ranch since the Kessal brothers were working, and she wasn’t sure if Chance was okay with her visiting Holden.
So that left going into town.
If Chance could run off, then so could she.
In about an hour, she was walking into the Donut Palace, determined to chat with whoever was there and eat a bear claw the size of her head.
Except her stomach kept cramping, and she didn’t feel great. These Braxton-Hicks contractions were no joke. And Iggy had watched her leave with the saddest eyes, which had only made her feel worse.
But she was out now and determined to make the best of it. Chelsea was sitting in the family corner, greeting her with a cheery wave. Cordy went to sit with her, skipping the line. She wasn’t too sure she could eat anything, not with how her stomach was.
“How are you doing after yesterday?” Chelsea asked.
Cordy wondered how the woman would react if she told her the truth: Last night, I fucked Chance Kessal, and it scared him so bad he ran away.
Chelsea would be sympathetic but not shocked. That was what Chance did—he gave you one night and then was gone. Cordy was only getting the same deal every other woman in town had.
“All right,” Cordy said. “I’m ready to be done with this.”
“Oh, I know the feeling,” Chelsea said. “Your due date was two days ago?”
“Yep.” Cordy rubbed her belly. “There’s no way I can get any bigger. My stomach is already shoved up into my lungs. And the baby kicks my bladder every time I inhale.”
“You’re almost there, Mama.” Chelsea patted her hand. “Trust me, this will seem like a vacation once the baby comes. Speaking of, I signed up for the meal train, but I’m not bringing you some sad casserole. What would you most like to eat? If you could pick anything?”
Cordy thought about it. “I don’t know. Whatever you bring will be fine.”
Chelsea shook her head. “You haven’t eaten all kinds of things for nine months. What, you want some raw milk? Some soft cheese? Coffee?” She leaned in and said in a sultry whisper, “Some deli meat?”
That one reminded Cordy. “God, I miss sushi.”
“How about I have Harry catch you some trout straight from the river? You can’t eat it raw, but you can’t get it any fresher. Have Chance grill it up.”
“It sounds lovely.” Cordy’s voice wobbled. “I’d like that.”
“Uh-oh.” Chelsea scooted closer. “Everything okay?”
“Um…” Cordy couldn’t find a suitable lie. Could she say it was hormones? Or being tired? Or?—
“Oh God.” Cordy doubled over as another Braxton-Hicks seized her.
“Cordy?” Chelsea grabbed her arm. “Should I call Chance?”
“No!” Cordy made herself sit up. “I thought these practice contractions were supposed to be gentler, that’s all.”
“That didn’t seem like a practice contraction.”
“Well, it can’t be the real thing.”
Chelsea didn’t look convinced, but before she could say anything, Ruby came in.
“I’m taking a personal day,” she said. “Don’t ask.”
“I don’t have to,” Chelsea said. “I already know who it’s about.”
“Mmm.” Ruby plopped down next to Cordy. “That’s a Kessal man for you.”
Cordy bit her lip. “Chance told me a little bit about it. And about Holden.”
“He did?” Ruby’s eyebrows flew up. “I had to practically pry the stories out of Quint, and I know there’s still a lot he hasn’t told me.”
“Did their dad… did he abuse them?” There was no way Cordy was going to ask Chance that, but she was desperate to know.
Ruby sighed. “Physically, no. But when Laura died, Holden just… went away. Didn’t get out of bed some days. Quint and Chance had to take care of Rye and Lane, and they were barely adults themselves. It stunted all of them in their own unique way.”
“I think Bowie is pretty normal,” Chelsea said. When Ruby glared at her, she said, “Come on, you’re always complaining about Quint. I know you love him, but he’s as messed up as the rest.”
“Yeah, but I get to say that, not you.”
Cordy cleared her throat. “So, um, how messed up would you say Chance is? On a scale of Bowie to Lane? Lane being the most screwed up.”
Ruby cocked her head. “Why are you asking?”
“We slept together,” Cordy said. “And now he’s disappeared because I scared him off. He can’t do more than one night, and I knew that, and I did it anyway.”
It came out too fast for her to think too much about what she was saying.
Chelsea and Ruby both made sympathetic noises. Chelsea patted Cordy’s back like she was one of her kids.
Then Ruby held up her hand. “Wait, you only just now slept with him? I thought you two were going at it for way longer than that.”
Cordy wiped her eyes. “He’d make me come but never let me do him.”
“Wow,” Ruby said drolly, “what a gentleman.”
“Uh, that actually sounds pretty nice,” Chelsea said. “Kind of… worshipful.”
Ruby sucked in a breath. “You’re not in love with him, are you?” She made it sound like the worst mistake ever.
Cordy shook her head. “I know better than that. And he’s not in love with me either. We had sex to start labor, but it didn’t work. He’s helping me out here.”
Her belly started to tighten again. She had to focus to get through the pressure. God, what was happening?
“ Only helping you out ?” Chelsea’s eyes went wide. “A man like him doesn’t have you move in just to help out. ”
Chelsea didn’t understand about her and Chance, but Cordy couldn’t catch her breath to tell her.
Ruby pressed her lips together. “Honey, he’s been in deep with you since he answered your ad, but Chance is too terrified to admit it. That’s the Kessal in him—all those men are emotionally constipated.”
“But… but you and Quint…” Cordy frowned. “He had to have?—”
The rest of her words were swallowed in a hard gasp. Her entire body clenched, pain radiating from her belly. It was white-hot, unrelenting.
She grunted, gasped. Ruby’s hand on her shoulder, dim voice in her ear.
Hurt. Stop this.
It felt like forever, but eventually, slowly, the fist of pain in her middle released. It took longer for her to catch her breath.
“Cordy.” Ruby was shaking her shoulder. “The baby is coming, isn’t it?”
Chelsea was already getting up, pulling out her phone. “I’ll call an ambulance.”
“No.” Cordy’s heart jumped into her ribs like a terrified bird beating against a cage. “No, it’s only Braxton-Hicks. I was joking about sex making labor start!”
“Uh, I don’t think it was a joke. That was pretty intense.” Ruby grabbed her hand and tugged Cordy to her feet. “Come on, we need to get you to the hospital.”
Cordy didn’t budge. “Where’s Chance? He’s supposed to be my coach.”
“Can I text him to meet us there?”
“No, I need to find him!”
“Okay, okay, let me call him.” Ruby held the phone to her ear for several moments. “No answer. I’ll text him to meet us at the hospital.”
“What if he doesn’t get it?”
“Let me call Quint.” This time Ruby got an answer quick. “Hey. No, I’m fine. No, seriously, this isn’t about me. Is Chance with you? He’s not?”
The look Ruby cut to Cordy was worried.
“Where is he? Cordy’s going to have the baby.” A pause. “You don’t know where he is? It’s the middle of the goddamn day! Fine, if you see him, tell him Cordy’s having this baby. No, I don’t need you to come out. I’m okay.”
She hit the End Call button with more force than necessary.
“He doesn’t know where Chance is?” Cordy asked.
“No. One of the ranch trucks is gone. Quint figured Chance took it to go… somewhere.”
Cordy’s entire body went cold. She was going to have this baby alone. She’d thought she was strong enough to do that. But after Chance had been there for her all this time, she realized she wasn’t.
Cordy needed him, and he wasn’t here.
Mr. Ulker at the Old Timers’ table cleared his throat loudly. “I don’t mean to interrupt you having your baby there,” he said, “but I saw that ranch truck in town today. Just about an hour ago.”
“You did?” Cordy was ready to leap over the tables and shake the information out of him. “Where?”
“The Red Dog.”
A hush fell over the entire Donut Palace.
“But…” Cordy couldn’t understand. “…it’s only one in the afternoon.”
“That place opens at ten,” Ruby said grimly. “Jack says it’s to catch the lunch rush.” Ruby tugged at Cordy’s arm. “Come on, let’s get you to the hospital. I’ll text him.”
“No.” Cordy pulled away. “He’s not getting away with this. He promised me he’d be with me…So I’m going to drag him out of there.”