Chapter 24
twenty-four
Cordy had a daughter. A beautiful, perfect daughter.
Looking down at the baby on her chest, Cordy felt a rush of pure bliss. The deepest kind of happiness and truest love she’d ever known.
This was her baby .
She knew immediately that this child was now her entire life and heart. She would do anything for this little girl.
The seventeen hours of labor and two hours of pushing already seemed like distant memories. Had Cordy actually done that? It seemed beyond what a body was capable of, but somehow, hers had—and out had come this tiny miracle.
“Hi.” She whispered into the baby’s soft hair. So much dark hair—it made Cordy want to laugh each time she saw it. “Hi. Welcome. I’ve waited so long to meet you.”
The baby’s eyes opened. They were big and gray, so beautiful Cordy could hardly stand it.
At the end of the bed, the medical team was messing around. Cordy had been so poked and prodded and monitored and stitched she didn’t much care what they did to her anymore. But she did wish they would go away so she could be alone with her baby and Chance.
“Dad,” Dr. Shenoy said to Chance, “could you take Baby so we can finish up with Mom?”
Chance hesitated. Because he didn’t like being called Dad? Cordy’s heart hiccupped.
“I don’t know how,” Chance said quietly. “We took the class, Ms. Reston showed us, we practiced, but”—he gestured at the baby on Cordy’s chest—“I don’t know how.”
“We’ll help,” the nurse said briskly as she scooped up the baby. “You already know to support her head.”
Then she put Cordy’s little girl into Chance’s arms.
He went very still. His expression was surprised, a hint of fear around his eyes. But then his hesitation dissolved like cotton candy in the rain, swept away by a wave of pure love.
“Hey, little girl,” he said. “I’ve wanted to meet you so bad. And here you are.”
Cordy’s heart swooped. She’d felt overwhelmed by emotion since her baby had arrived, but now she felt like she was expanding. Her heart pressed against her ribs, making space. And pressed some more.
Just like that, she grew so she could hold all this love—love for her baby and for Chance. As her heart expanded, she realized she was in love with him.
She was only dimly aware of the nurse fussing over her because she couldn’t look away from the two people she loved most. Chance had curled himself around the baby, talking to her so softly Cordy couldn’t make out the words. His voice was a gentle, comforting rumble. His expression was the purest devotion.
Chance looked up, caught Cordy watching him. When their gazes locked, his face didn’t change.
“You did it.” His voice was thick with emotion. “You brought her here safe and sound.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” She meant that more than she could say. If Chance hadn’t insisted on being her partner, Cordy would have been alone. Her daughter was too precious to keep to herself—love like that had to be shared.
And Cordy did love Chance. How could she not after seeing what was under his smiles, his easy charm? The real, complicated man was so much better than the swaggering playboy he pretended to be.
But she also realized she could never tell him, not with his family history. If Chance loved her back, he would have said. She would have known. He’d love her so brightly and fiercely, with his entire being, that she’d know nothing but that.
If she told him how she felt, he’d feel indebted. Maybe even relieved. He could spend his life with her and the baby and never risk his heart for the kind of love that would turn him inside out. He’d always make sure Cordy and the baby were cared for, but he’d never let on that it wasn’t the same for him as it was for her.
She’d never be able to bear that.
“You okay?” Chance looked at her over the baby’s head. “Something wrong?” Panic filled his face. “I’ll get the doctor. Wait, she’s here. Cordy, are you feeling faint?” He turned to the nurse. “Is she bleeding? You need to check her.”
Cordy reached for his arm, unable to grab him because she was still hooked up to the IV. That was another thing she wanted out and gone. “Chance! I’m fine. Seriously. Just… just hormones.” She gave him a watery smile. “I’m having a lot of big feelings right now.”
Slowly, he settled down. “You sure?”
She nodded.
He looked down at the baby. “I’ve got some big feelings too. This little girl is… perfect is too small a word. Isn’t it, darling?” he cooed to her. “You’re beyond perfect.”
“She is,” Dr. Shenoy said. “We’re done here. Do you want your visitors now?”
“My… my visitors?” Cordy was confused—Dr. Shenoy made it sound like there were a lot of people. “Is Ruby still there?”
“They filled up the entire waiting room!” Dr. Shenoy put a hand on Cordy’s shoulder. “You were magnificent. I’m so glad I could be here when you delivered.”
“Thank you for taking such good care of me.”
Dr. Shenoy nodded, then glanced at Chance. “Dad’s already head over heels.”
The doctor knew Chance wasn’t the father, but… but she was still correct.
As the doctor left, Hailey poked her head in. “Ready for visitors?”
Cordy sat up, wincing when her poor, strained abs complained. Wow, bodies really didn’t bounce back after the baby was out.
“If you’re not,” Hailey said quickly, “just say so. We can come back later.”
“No, it’s okay.” Cordy put a hand to her hair. “I don’t look that bad, do I?”
“You look amazing.” Chance glared at Hailey as if daring her to disagree.
“She does.”
Hailey walked in, followed by Mr. and Mrs. Saxon. Ruby followed behind. Then came Gareth, Rye, Quint, Jaycee, and Brad, an endless stream like a clown car unloading.
“You all…” Cordy put her hand to her throat. “You were all here waiting? For me?”
“Of course!” Jaycee kissed her cheek. “How are you?”
“I feel amazing. And hungry.”
Rye held up a take-out box. “Liberty sent this for you. She says it’s got spinach for iron, beans for protein, and pasta for carbs. I had some the other day, and it’s delicious.”
“That sounds amazing. Thank you so much.”
“We all brought flowers, too.” Quint held up a bouquet. “We cleared out Hansen’s Flowers and Gifts.”
He wasn’t kidding. Soon, her room was filled with flowers. While Cordy scarfed down her meal, everyone chattered, laughed, and admired the baby. Mrs. Saxon cooed over the baby as she held her and pointed out everything that reminded her of Reed.
“He had that same crinkle in his ear when he came out.” Janet traced the curve of the baby’s ear. “And so much hair! Did you have this much as a baby?”
“I don’t know. I don’t have any baby pictures.”
“Oh.” Mrs. Saxon looked around the room. “Is your mother going to come?”
“She doesn’t know. It’s hard to contact people in Mongolia.”
There was an awkward beat. Mrs. Saxon’s nose wrinkled like it had when Cordy told her she wouldn’t marry Reed.
“Oh. I see.” Mrs. Saxon forced her face to relax. “Well, hopefully, she can come soon.” She passed the baby back to Cordy. “Don’t let anyone hold the baby for too long. She needs you—you’ve been her entire world these past nine months.” Janet tenderly ran her hand over the baby’s head. “I’ll tell people when they’ve held her too long.”
“Um… thank you?” But Cordy was grateful to have her baby back. It physically hurt to have the baby away from her.
As she looked around the room, with everyone smiling and talking, Cordy was reminded of the bar. People were coming together and enjoying themselves, celebrating the new life here. It felt good, overwhelming, and… comforting. Cordy finally felt part of something bigger than herself—part of a community that would always be there for her and her baby.
“Have you thought of a name yet?” Bob Saxon asked.
Cordy passed the baby to him. “No. Did Reed ever mention any names he liked?”
“Not to me.” Mr. Saxon looked like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with the baby, but he was also entirely in love. “But there was this one book he loved when he was a kid. We had to read it to him every night. It was about a little girl who went on an adventure to her grandmother’s house. Her name was Madeleine.”
Madeleine.
Cordy looked down at her daughter, nestled in her grandfather’s arms.
Madeleine. It made sense. It fit her little girl.
“Madeleine is a good name,” she said.
“It is. Should we try it on?”
“Hello, Madeleine.”
The baby blinked her gray eyes. She seemed to focus them for a moment.
“I think that’s it,” Cordy said.
“Yep.” Bob handed Madeleine back. “I know I’m not supposed to hold her too long.”
“It’s okay.” But Cordy couldn’t bear to return Madeleine—nothing had ever felt so right as holding this baby.
“Reed would be so proud.” Tears stood in Mr. Saxon’s eyes. He turned away before they could fall.
Cordy’s throat burned, but she managed to sniffle away the tears. Hearing that made her glad—a bittersweet kind of gladness, but more sweet than bitter.
Before she could get too sad, Pierce walked in.
His eyes were wide, and he looked more than a little afraid. “Are you okay?” He kept away from the bed like a force field surrounded Cordy.
“I’m great. Do you want to hold the baby?” Cordy held up Madeleine for him to see.
“Wow. That’s like a real baby.”
“Yep. They don’t give out fake ones at the hospital.”
Pierce scooped up Madeleine without hesitation. “I know what I’m doing. I have a lot of cousins.” He immediately started rocking her.
“You’re good.”
“Yeah, I can babysit for you when she gets bigger.”
“How’s work?”
“Good. We miss you, though.”
“I miss you guys too.” But looking at Madeleine, Cordy realized she wasn’t in a rush to get back. Madeleine was so tiny, so helpless, and Cordy had a lot of healing to do.
“Oh!” Pierce looked over at the Kessal brothers. “They’ve got cigars. Do you think I could get one?”
“You are way too young.” Good Lord, where had that voice come from? Cordy sounded like a mom.
“But it’s a special occasion.” Pierce was actually pouting.
The Kessals did look like they were having fun. Quint was slapping Chance on the back as Rye handed him a cigar.
And Chance… Chance looked just like a proud father. He took the cigar easily, then grabbed two more. He offered them to Mr. and Mrs. Saxon, but only Mr. Saxon took one. So Chance offered the extra one to Brad.
Cordy never expected her delivery would be like this. She’d thought she’d be alone, doing everything on her own. She’d thought she’d be fine with that.
Maybe she would have been. But after this gathering, she knew she would have missed out, not that she would have realized. She would have lacked so much and told herself it was fine because it was all she’d ever been taught.
But this was better. This was the best. This was how a baby ought to come into the world. Cordy was so grateful to everyone who had come.
The night nurse poked her head in. “Visiting hours are over. Sorry.”
Everyone filed slowly out, stopping to congratulate Cordy and coo over the baby. The nurse had to come back twice to hurry them along.
“Don’t forget Reed’s house,” Janet whispered to Cordy as she left. “It’s ready for you.”
“Oh.” Cordy squeezed Madeleine more tightly to her. “Of course. Thank you for coming.”
When they were all gone, it was just her and Chance. And the baby.
Cordy suddenly felt weepy. She loved this man so much, but he wasn’t in love with her. And now that Madeleine was here, she couldn’t put off what she had to do any longer.
“Did you get enough to eat?” Chance looked tired. “What about pain meds? You need those?”
She shook her head. “I’m good.”
“Tired?”
Now that the high of everyone’s visit was wearing off, the enormity of what she’d done was hitting her. Her muscles were liquid with exhaustion.
Chance took Madeleine from her. “Your face answered that question.”
“You can put her in the bassinet.”
“No, she’d hate that.” He rocked the baby as he walked to the light switch and flicked it off.
Cordy fought as her eyes closed. She had to tell Chance about Reed’s house. She had to tell him he could go home, that he didn’t have to stay here—the chair he had to sleep in looked horribly uncomfortable.
And yet, it would be cruel to say any of that. To him and her. To tell him after everything, “You can get out of here and leave me all alone.”
She couldn’t do it.
Another wave of sleep caught her. The last thing she heard was Chance saying, “We’ll both be right here when you wake up.”