Chapter Six
“William, wake up.” Groggily he came awake, realizing that his mother was shaking his shoulder. William peered bleary-eyed at the bedside clock, three twenty-five.
He sat up in a panic. “Mom, what’s wrong?”
“Calm down. It’s nothing to get worked up over, my darling boy.” She patted his back. “But I’m afraid your father isn’t feeling well. It’s probably food poisoning. I told him not to get the clams last night.” She shook her head. “There’s no way he’ll be able to attend this conference.”
“Are you asking me to go?” His sleep-addled brain struggled to keep up.
“Dad hoped you wouldn’t mind. This is a very important event, and he doesn’t want to put it all on Maddox. He said that as the office manager, you would probably have some good insight.”
“Yeah, of course, Mom. Just give me a few minutes to get my stuff together.”
“Come up to the kitchen when you’re done. I’ll make you some coffee and give you the keys to the rental.”
William nodded then rolled his neck. As soon as she was gone, he got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. Thank goodness he’d worn boxers to bed last night; he did not need that kind of embarrassment. He took them off then climbed in the shower. He set the temperature a little more briskly than he usually did, hoping the cooler water would wake him up. Finished, he dressed in jeans and a tee shirt; he wanted to be comfortable for the long drive. His father hated flying, so it was to be a road trip to the convention. After a quick check on his sleeping father, he grabbed the coffee and key then kissed his mother goodbye.
He got into the older-model tan sedan, started the engine, then turned the radio to a rock station. S&H wasn’t far from his parents’ house, so he arrived in no time. He’d let the music drown out all his thoughts and nervousness. A pickup truck turned in front of him. Damn, he knew that truck. It was Justin’s.
“No, no, no. This cannot be happening,” he said aloud as he pulled into the closest spot. He watched as Justin got out with all his gear.
“No fucking way,” he said when William stepped out of the car.
“Where’s Maddox?” William wondered why the world hated him.
“In the ER with food poisoning.” Justin sighed. “And your father?”
“Food poisoning. Guess they ate at the same restaurant.” William let out a heavy breath. “Shall we, then?” He opened the car door to get back into the car.
“Welcome to the shit show,” Justin muttered, throwing his bags in the back.
It’s official, William thought as he closed the car door. My life sucks. A week and a half alone with Justin. This was not good. The awkwardness of the long trip with Maddox would have been bad enough, but this? This was unimaginable.
Justin hefted himself into the passenger’s seat with a heavy sigh. Apparently, he wasn’t any happier about this than he was. William turned the radio on softly and just drove. Besides, he wasn’t sure how to even start a conversation with the other man. He knew he had to think of something. Somehow, he needed to get them to a place where he could at least offer Justin an apology. That may be one of the hardest things he’d ever do.
The miles stretched on before him, seemingly endless, and soon, the radio stopped picking up stations. Three hours of silence was more than William could take. It was nothing short of oppressive. He glanced over at his companion. Justin was staring out the window. “What are we focusing on at this conference?”
Justin let out a heavy frustrated-sounding sigh and shook his head. “ I’m focusing on concrete, machinery, and wood suppliers.” Justin shrugged. “You can do whatever you want.”
“Come on,” William protested. “My dad sent me to help.”
“I’m not sure why,” Justin huffed. “It’s not like there’s anything you can do to help me. As I told you before, you have no idea how S&H runs. Your position there is nothing but nepotism at its finest.”
“You know I did minor in business management,” William defended himself. “What did you do?” He hadn’t meant to get angry, but, damn, Justin was making it hard. He knew the man was probably still pissed about the broken award, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t had it fixed.
“I could only go until junior year,” Justin replied quietly.
“So, you went to college to become a big-shot architect and never finished? Why? Couldn’t cut it in the big leagues?” Even he could hear the ridicule in his voice.
“I had a 3.9 GPA before I had to quit,” Justin said sourly.
“If you were doing so well, why did you come running home to take a job you had as a teenager? Was it a guy?” William knew he, of all people, had no right to criticize, but for some reason, he couldn’t stop himself. Even after everything he’d told his parents, and his very real desire to make things right with this man, it seemed he was incapable of doing so.
“Not in the way you think.” Justin’s voice sounded sad.
“Were you dating a professor or something?” William wasn’t sure why he couldn’t shut up.
“If you’re going to be a dick, we don’t have to talk.” Justin turned back to stare out the window into the darkness.
Nailed it, William thought, and there was no way he was letting this go. “Now I know how you had a 3.9. So did he dump you or what?”
“You have some nerve,” Justin ground out. “I had to come home to take care of my mom and sisters when my dad died.”
“Oh.” Suddenly William felt like the dick that Justin had called him.
“I, unlike you, didn’t disgrace myself.”
Ouch. William knew he probably deserved that, but it still stung. He guessed he should have seen that coming. It wouldn’t have been too hard for Justin to find out about what happened. His heart clenched as he thought about Sebastian. “It wasn’t like that,” he whispered.
“Oh really?” Justin sneered at him. “What was it like, then?”
“Never mind.” William shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You’re right, it doesn’t,” Justin agreed then turned to face his window again.
“Okay, look, I’m sorry.” William briefly glanced in Justin’s direction. “I was being an asshole. How about we try being civil toward one another?” Justin said nothing. “For my father’s sake, at least.”
“I guess you’re right. We are going to be working together for the unforeseeable future. We should at least try to tolerate one another.” Justin didn’t even look at him.
“How about we try talking about something else?” William suggested.
“Like what? We have absolutely nothing in common,” Justin said flatly.
“That didn’t stop us from being friends once upon a time.”
“Too much has gone on between us for that to ever happen again.”
“I know that, but there must be something we can talk about.” William was met with silence, so he tried again. “What do you do for fun these days?”
For a minute, Justin didn’t answer, and William was pretty sure he wasn’t going to. “Not much.” Justin sighed. “I go to a lot of college and community plays because Natalie is in theater. I attend every high school sporting event because Evie is a cheerleader. When I’m not doing any of that, I help with Maddison’s son. On Saturdays, I try to see my friends. And every other Sunday is family dinner.”
“Doesn’t sound like that leaves a lot of you time.”
“It doesn’t.” Justin shrugged. “But with the little I can manage, I still like to draw.”
“You always were a pretty decent artist.”
“Thanks. What about you?”
William shrugged. “I still do the sports thing. I’m in a few charity leagues, and coach a few youth teams.”
“Ever the sports star.” Justin shook his head. William was pretty sure he was rolling his eyes. “Your dad said your writing was going well.”
“Yeah, I was doing okay.”
Silence again filled the car. Fuck. What else is there? Usually, he could talk to anyone about anything. At this moment, however, not a single topic came to mind. His mind was completely blank, so meaningless random questions it was. “Maybe this is how Mark and Allen get into the conversations they do,” William said without really meaning to.
“What do you mean?” Justin asked.
“I don’t know what we’re supposed to talk about.” William shrugged. “I’m getting ready to ask what you would do if you had superpowers.”
Justin kind of chuckled. “Please don’t. I’ve already had a few long conversations on the topic.”
Then, again, silence. Maybe I should try saying something meaningful. “Hey, Justin, about what I said earlier, it was rude, and malicious, and downright awful. I am genuinely sorry for the way I acted.”
He saw Justin shake his head before pointing to an exit sign. “Pull over, we need to switch drivers.”
“I’m going in to grab some stuff,” Justin said as soon as William pulled up to the gas pump. “Do you want anything?”
“Just a soda, thanks.”
He got out and went inside the attached convenience store. After looking around for a few moments, he spotted the drink cooler near the back then walked that way. He shook his head. Fuck! Why the hell did Maddox have to get sick? He was still mad about him breaking the World’s Greatest Brother trophy his sisters had given him for Father’s Day a few years ago. The fact that it had shown up back on his desk, fixed and with a note of apology, hadn’t made him any less pissed. He just needed to get through this.
He blew out a harsh breath, staring blankly at the offerings behind the glass. What the hell were they supposed to talk about? He honestly didn’t care what William had been doing since high school. But if he didn’t think of something, William would start asking meaningless questions, and he was already far too irritated for that shit.
Damn, think, Justin. What was there? He didn’t mind sports, but he didn’t follow any organized team. Sometimes he played basketball with Maddox and Henry, but they really didn’t follow any rules. Besides, he didn’t want to get into a deep discussion with William about his family or friends. Suddenly an idea hit him. Music. William had been listening to Justin’s favorite band a while back.
Shaking his head again, he grabbed two colas then went up to the register. He spied some gum on a shelf to his right and added it to his purchases. Maybe gum would eliminate some of the need to talk for a while.
“Seven forty-two,” the cute cashier said with a smile.
Justin handed him a ten. “Thanks, man,” he said, accepting his change.
“Have a great day, sir.”
William was still pumping the gas when he returned to the car, so Justin went around to the driver’s side and got in, putting a soda in each cup holder, then opened the gum and popped a cinnamon stick into his mouth. Leaning back against the headrest, he closed his eyes. Only seconds later, William got into the passenger’s seat. He pulled his seat belt across his body then grabbed one of the colas and took a long drink.
“Thanks,” he said. “I guess I was thirstier than I thought.” He chuckled.
Justin nodded as he pulled out onto the street. Neither said anything for quite a while. In his peripheral vision, he could see William all but fidgeting in his seat. At any moment, some completely random question would come flying his way. He didn’t have to wait long.
“What’s your go-to sing-in-the-shower song?”
Well. There’s the opening I needed to bring up music. “‘Walking in London . ’”
“You listen to Concrete Blonde?” his companion questioned, sounding quite surprised.
“They’re my favorite band.”
“Wow, mine too.” William seemed shocked.
“What?” Justin asked.
William shrugged. “It’s just that almost no one has heard of them. How did you discover their music?”
“My college roommate played their stuff for me, and I was hooked. How about you? Concrete Blonde really isn’t the kind of music I pictured you listening to.”
“It wasn’t, at least not back when you knew me. But I heard ‘Days and Days’ at a party and went out and bought the Bloodletting album the next day.”
“Yeah, in my opinion, Bloodletting was their best album,” Justin agreed. “What’s your favorite song?”
“Caroline, hands down.”
“That’s a great song.” Justin shook his head with a small smile. “Do you remember the time you parked in my spot? I think it was like your second day.” He continued when William nodded. “As soon as I got out of my truck, I could hear ‘The Vampire Song’ blaring through your rolled-up windows. When I got closer, I could see you full-on drumming the steering wheel, jamming to it.”
“It’s a good song.” William sounded slightly embarrassed. “In my defense, no one was supposed to see that.”
Justin chuckled softly. “Don’t worry about it, man. I’m pretty sure everyone does it. Sometimes, I perform whole concerts while I drive.”
William laughed and grabbed his phone. “I feel kind of stupid for not thinking of this before when the radio went out.” The first strands of their favorite album began to play.
A peaceful silence, except the music of course, had fallen over the car for the last half hour, and Justin was incredibly grateful for that. Thank goodness. I was so done with small talk. When the last song had ended, and there was several minutes void of noise, Justin glanced over at his passenger to find that William had fallen asleep.
He tried to just focus on the road in front of him. The darkness was broken only by his headlights. All he wanted to do was zone out and drive, but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen. He couldn’t shut off his brain. Damn William . He hadn’t come home because of a guy, but the truth was, there had been a guy involved. Gus. Justin’s heart lurched and he felt like he might cry.
He’d met Gus at his college freshmen orientation, and they’d hit it off instantly. They had so much in common that, completely by chance, they were in several of the same courses. Friendship slowly transitioned into dating, which quickly turned serious. Damn. It still hurt to think about the day he got that call. With his world spinning into chaos, he thought that he’d at least have Gus by his side. But he’d been wrong about that.
They had come home to make the arrangements for the funeral, and he’d realized that there was no way he could leave his mom on her own. Gus must have realized what he was planning because two days after the funeral, his boyfriend took him out to the porch swing and destroyed the last bit of sanity in his world.
I love you, Justin, but I can’t do this.
He understood, he really did, but that didn’t stop the intense pain as his heart broke. What would life be like if Dad’s accident hadn’t happened? He hated that thought. The what-if game only led to depression, so he always tried to quickly redirect his thoughts. In that moment, however, he was unable to squash them.
He would have graduated college, with honors. He would have had his choice of positions at several architectural firms. He would have married Gus and bought a nice three-bedroom house in the suburbs. They might have even adopted a kiddo or two and raised a happy family. Instead, all Gus said before he went back to school was, we can still be friends . Gus left him at the lowest point of his life, and he never heard from the man again. He tried to convince himself that it was for the best. That Gus wasn’t the man he’d thought he was. That he obviously didn’t love him as much as he said he did.
Justin pushed the memories away as he pulled the car into the motel parking lot.