Chapter 43
43
Lucy
Dexter and I said some half-assed goodbyes to Hayden and Nat before rushing out of the reception. Dexter went first with plans to stop by the gift shop, and I used the excuse of a faux headache before running up to my room. Carmen gave strict instructions to drink plenty of fluids—most likely assuming my “headache” was due to an overconsumption of champagne—and I smiled with a secret held on my tongue. Something that hinted toward the knowledge that hydration will be a part of my night, just the latter part of it.
I’m pacing the small space between the two queen beds in my room now. My heels are kicked off to the side, but I still have my dress on. Maybe I should brush my teeth. Or shave? That’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re about to have sex, right? Like, primp or preen or some shit. I lift my arm to bring my nose to my right armpit and take a quick whiff. At least I’m good there.
Those panicky thoughts on grooming choices and hygienic care are interrupted when there’s a light knock on my door. I can do this. Whatever it is Dexter and I are doing, I can do it. Whether we crash and burn or free-fall into the most thrilling experience in my life, I can do this. Because if I don’t…
“Hey.”
I tilt my head, my hand on the doorknob and my eyes lingering on the loosened knot of his tie, with his hand so casually tucked into his pants pocket. “Hi.”
He walks into the room when I open the door a little wider, and I sort of watch him take everything in. The scattered mess of my makeup bag and loose jewelry on the desk where a small lamp sits dimly lit. My bathing suit and some clothes draped over an armchair sitting in the corner. He turns on his feet and faces me. I take a few steps toward him, one foot in front of the other like a scared yet curious kitten.
My heart feels like it’s racing out of my chest. Like I’m simultaneously running through a haunted mansion maze and riding a rollercoaster at the same time. And yet, I just want to fall. Into Dexter’s arms, into us, and every single possibility that could come between.
“I-you look…” he stutters, chuffing a shy laugh. “You look beautiful.”
I take another step to him, placing my hand on the desk he’s standing next to. “Thank you.”
His hand covers mine. “I don’t think I’ve told you that yet.”
I smirk. “No, you haven’t.”
“Lucy,” he whispers. His knuckles glide up my arm, and I feel like I could crumble to the ground. Like all I’ve ever wanted in my life is this, for Dexter to touch me and make me feel… alive . “You’re so beautiful. Sometimes, when I think about how beautiful you are, it actually hurts.” He pauses to run his thumb down the column of my neck, grazing over my thready pulse point. “I still can’t believe you exist. And that I’ve touched you and kissed you. And that you let me. ”
I kiss him, sinking into him, because how can I not after hearing those words?
He works to turn me toward the desk, leaning my butt at the ledge, and steps into the space between my legs. He trails kisses on my shoulder, up my neck, and behind my ear. And I tilt my head to the side, letting him. I respond by nibbling on his earlobe, pulling the sensitive skin between my teeth, and he sighs against me.
“ God , I just want to fuck the shit out of you.” His words, all breathy and hot, travel down low. To the arch of my feet, making my toes curl and my back bend. I feel his touch travel up my thigh and stop when his fingers curl around my hip, firmly and possessively. He reaches behind me, pushing me closer to him as he presses his groin into me, and I feel how badly he wants me. He buries his nose into my skin, and I feel him take in a sharp intake of breath.
“Can I?”
“Can you what?” I ask, so fucking breathless.
“Can I fuck the shit out of you?”
“ Yes ,” I whimper desperately.
A deep, guttural growl rumbles low in his chest, and he lifts me, wrapping my legs around his waist, and I feel dizzy when he swings me around.
We’re a flurry of clothes warped around us in heaps. Everything lands on the floor in a mess, leaving us in our underwear. I fall back on the bed, and he crowds over me, his hands braced on the bed at my sides. His eyes linger on my body, over the intimate parts of me barely covered with my matching bra and underwear set, and he lets out a close-mouthed sigh.
“The things I’ve wanted to do to you…” His eyes follow the path of his fingers, starting from my knees, up higher and higher, his thumb pressing against my skin as he gives me a soft, seductive squeeze at my waist.
He sinks into me, and for a second, he just clutches me against him. His hand fists into the base of my hair, tugging at it, holding on to me like I might disappear. Like if he doesn’t grapple at what he can, this will all just be a figment of his imagination.
“I’m here,” I whisper into his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’m yours tonight.”
He nods, the ends of his hair brushing against my cheek. “We have tonight, and if that’s all we have, then I’ll take it. I’ll take whatever I can.”
It’s another reminder this is exactly what it’s always been. Temporary. But he’s right. Whatever part of ourselves we can give each other, we’ll take it.
He lowers himself down my body, kissing my skin. He starts at my navel, trailing up my stomach to my chest. It’s so sweet and so tender, I want to burst into tears. The silence sits heavy between us, but I feel completely and utterly cherished in the absence of words. He’s moving slowly, taking his time while unraveling bits of me as he goes along. And I let him. I let him take parts of my heart with each stroke, each kiss, because it feels like it belongs to him anyway.
When he meets my lips, his hands move to my back, unhooking my bra and letting it slip off of me. And he just sort of stares at me, at my bare chest scattered with goose bumps all the way down to my lacy underwear covering parts of me that are begging for him to touch.
“To think…” he whispers with his gaze fixed on my body.
“What?” I ask, but it comes out all winded, like a harsh exhale instead of an actual word.
His hand moves to cover my breast, and I feel his fingers graze over my nipple. “That I thought I could’ve gone without this ,” he says. “Without seeing you or touching you.” His hand travels down to my thong, and his fingers gingerly trail over the lace.
“Please don’t rip those,” I beg breathlessly. “They were a matching set, and it would be a shame to have them mismatch. ”
He laughs into my skin, nuzzling his nose against my neck. “We can’t have that now, can we?”
His hands hook into the strap of my underwear before he tugs it down my thighs. He moves slowly, carefully, following my plea to take care of the fragile material. I do the same to him, pulling at the waistband of his black boxer briefs, letting my hands graze over his bare ass, and he helps me the rest of the way.
He straightens his body, lifting me by my wrists until we’re both on our knees with our arms wrapped around each other. He grips my waist, guiding me toward the head of the bed. Nudging me until my back is at his front, he places my hand on the headboard, clamping my fingers on the cushioned edges.
“Hold on,” he urges. His arm hooks around my waist, and he tugs me closer to him. I feel him, his hardness pressing into my skin, his thighs flush against the back of my own. He continues kissing me gently and slowly. “I like you like this.”
I smirk over my shoulder. “On my knees?”
“At my will.” He glides his hand down my stomach, reaching down until his fingers spread me, and I let out a sharp gasp. My hand covers his, unsure if it’s to guide him or to stop him because the sensation of his touch is too much to bear.
He doesn’t stop though. Instead, he continues, his finger gliding across my clit, making a jolt of electricity shoot right through me. I whimper loudly, turning my face to look at him and reaching over until my hand grips the back of his head. I pull him to me, kissing him and loving the way he follows my lead with desperation on his lips. His other hand reaches to cup my breast, his thumb rolling over my nipple, and it makes my back arch from the sudden sensation.
“Dexter,” I plead. “Please, touch me. I need you to touch me. Please . ”
He hooks his finger inside of me, and I sag against him. My head falls back on his shoulder, and I can feel his gaze travel down to where his palm cups me and his fingers move in and out of me. I start to feel a prickling quiver roll around low in my belly, and my breaths come out in short gasps.
“God, I could just watch you come like this.”
I shake my head. “No,” I protest.
“No?”
“I want…” He pushes a second finger into me, and all words left in my vocabulary disappear instantly.
“What do you want, baby? Tell me.”
“I want…” A nibble on my ear interrupts my train of thought, almost as if he’s doing this on purpose.
“Hmm?”
I turn to face him, looking at him as his eyes flare with heat. “I want you to fuck me.” His hand stills. “I want you to make me come with your cock.”
A sharp smack to my ass fills my lungs with a sudden gasp. And then he’s gone. The air suddenly feels so cold, but I wait patiently as he reaches into the pockets of his pants to retrieve a condom. He rolls it on, moving efficiently before climbing back on the bed. He reaches across my bare chest and glides his open hand until he’s gripped my throat, pushing me back toward him.
And then his voice stutters. “Lucy, I-I don’t…”
I reach my arm around to grip his ass, pushing him toward me. “What?” I say, suddenly scared. Is he going to stop? I swear, I’m going to kill him if he does.
His eyes darken, looking down at my naked body. “I’m not going to last very long.”
I can’t help the low, relieved laugh that slips through my lips. “I thought you were going to back out.”
“Oh, fuck no. ”
“Dexter, I don’t care,” I tell him. “We have all night.”
He smirks against my ear, and I feel his hand moving between us, his knuckles grazing my ass as he takes himself in his hand and presses his tip into me. My entire body stills, waiting, anticipating. Like I’m at the edge of my seat with my knees bouncing and only my toes touching the ground. Like I’ve waited a century for this, and these next few seconds until he finally fucks me feels like an eternity.
When he pushes into me, I feel his entire body tremble. He groans and rolls his forehead between my shoulder blades. “Fuck, Lucy . I’ve been thinking about this, how it felt before, but this is far beyond what I imagined.”
My teeth clamp onto my lower lip, and I shift, adjusting to him. He starts to pull out but then I stop him, my hand still on his bare skin, pressing him to me. “Wait,” I say through a strained voice. “Just wait a minute.”
“Are you okay?”
“Mm-hmm,” I answer. “I just need a minute.” I need a second to adjust to feeling so full. It feels like every spare part of me is filled with Dexter, and it feels almost too much. A shiver runs down my back when he trails his nose along my neck, and I nod. “Okay.”
“You good?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” And he pulls out before slamming back into me. I cry out at the same time he groans. “ Fuck! Jesus Christ, you feel so good.” Another sharp breath spills from my throat when he slams into me again. My body bounces forward, and he holds me tighter. Our bodies start to move in tandem, him bucking against me as I push into him. He starts touching me again, his finger circling my clit, and I start to feel it spread everywhere, to all ten fingers and all ten toes.
My hand covers his while the other holds on to the headboard. He starts to fuck me hard and rough, while his tempo increases and his fingers work me into fucking euphoria. His hands don’t stop touching me. One between my legs, the other running over my sensitive skin in desperate yet sensual strokes. It’s mind-blowing how I can feel him all over, even on the parts of my body he’s not touching. He’s everywhere . And I just know after all of this is said and done, I’ll still feel him.
Dexter wraps his arms around me tighter, and I feel that electricity start to cluster at the base of my spine, making me moan loudly and my body tense up.
“Dexter…I’m— ohh… ”
“I know,” he says, his low voice gravelly and thick. “I can feel you.” And his hand grips my chin, turning my cheek to kiss me. “Oh fuck , Lucy. Christ , I can feel you coming.”
“ Dexter! ” He kisses me fiercely, crushing my lips to his. My orgasm rattles through me, and somewhere between me coiling around Dexter and my entire body tensing underneath him, he comes too. I feel his entire body shudder, and those strong and sure thrusts become jerky and violent.
We sort of just stay how we are, our bodies heaving through large gulps of air. But his touches are sweet and soft as he caresses me. “I’m so glad we have all night.”
I laugh. “Me too.”