29. Logan
TWENTY-NINE
LOGAN
I held it together in front of Anthony, but I sink to a seat as soon as he leaves. I put my head in my hands and just breathe. I can’t win when it comes to my father, and I don’t understand why I fucking care. I’ve played better this season than I have my entire life, and he’s still an asshole. The most fucked up thing is, I know in my bones I’ll never play well enough for him. It doesn’t matter what I accomplish, and I’ve always known it.
All his actions since their break up have been revenge. It’s so clear now. He only tried to coach for the Gods to make my life miserable, and when that didn’t work, he found a better way.
I set myself up for this. If I never told my mother about him cheating, they’d still be together, and he wouldn’t be on a revenge path trying to make my life miserable and, through me, Anthony’s.
What if he finds out about us? I know him. He will do everything he can to make Anthony pay. He’d torture Anthony just to cause me pain. I know who my father is, which means every minute I continue to spend with Anthony makes me a ticking time bomb. Does he deserve that?
But Anthony is worth it. He makes me feel, something no one else does.
It’s like playing hockey. When I’m on the ice, my life feels like it’s my own. I’m in control of how I play, in control of my interaction with people. It’s on my shoulders. And when I’m off, nothing is in my control. Everything revolves around my parents and their whims.
Being with Anthony feels outside of them. He’s not in their world. Even if he is in hockey, he’s not under their influence. Anthony doesn’t care what my father thinks. In fact, he hates my father, so he’s not going to do anything that bastard wants.
“You coming?” Ridgeway stands in front of me. I didn’t notice him come in.
I blink and force myself to my feet to shove the rest of my shit in my bag. I only meant to sit down for a minute. How long had it been? Had Anthony sent someone in here to look for me? I feel like an idiot. “Yeah. I must have lost track of time. I’m out of it.”
Ridgeway looks me over, clearly not convinced. “You okay?”
I nod. “I am. My dad here, coaching, and then accosting me after the game wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“Come on. We all need a drink.” He offers me a hand.
I take it and let him pull me to my feet.
We get back to the hotel and go to the team meal. Once that’s finished, the guys are chatting about where to get drinks.
“I’m going to grab a shower. Can someone text me what you all decide?” I say, dumping my plate in the garbage.
“Will do.” Wolfe shoots me finger guns.
At least this buys me some fucking alone time. I just want to decompress in a hot shower for the next hour. I turn the hotel one on as hot as it can go and wait for it to heat. When it’s steamed up half the bathroom, I get in, adjusting the temp so it’s not quite hot enough to burn my skin off but hot enough to sear off all my recent memories.
I let it soak into my skin, closing my eyes.
The shower curtain pulls back, making me jump. “What the fuck?”
Anthony’s lips pull at the hint of a smile. He devours my naked body with his gaze, and I harden. “You took too long.”
I look at my imaginary watch. “I haven’t gone out with the team yet.”
“Why’d you come to your room at all?”
“I figured you’d want me clean.” I rub the soapy washcloth over my abs as my heart rate slows. I don’t want to tell him I needed some alone time. No one takes that well.
“I don’t mind a little sweat.” The hunger in his eyes turns me on more than anything.
“It was more than a little.” I press my shoulder blades against the cool tile, taking full advantage of the situation as I continue to lather my body. I’ll take any distraction I can get. “Why’d you follow me up?”
“I don’t like to wait.”
“You could help me go faster by helping.” I lock eyes with him as I work over my cock with the washcloth.
A low growl rumbles through him. “You’re taking your time on purpose.”
“You should show me a better way.” I offer the washcloth playfully.
His lip pulls in a silent snarl, but he reaches for it.
I grab his button down when he leans in, dragging him into the shower. He isn’t expecting it, so he doesn’t have time to fight. He stumbles over the edge, colliding with me. He’s fighting, but he’s already drenched under the spray. When he finally realizes, his body language changes, and he pins me against the wall, damp cloth rubbing up against my skin.
I drag my teeth over my lip, fighting a smile. “Oops.”
“You...”
“Yes?”
“Are going to pay for this.”
“Oh no. I’m so upset and concerned.” I don’t even try to fake my tone.
He growls in response, biting my neck while grabbing my cock. I work his clothes off, taking my time while I strip him, enjoying every inch of revealed tattooed skin. My mouth traces after my fingers. I trail my lips over his pecs and nipples, raising goosebumps on his skin. Working open his pants, I drop to my knees to worship his perfect, uncut cock. He steps out of his slacks, and I toss the soaked material out of the shower to focus on his boxer briefs. They cling to his skin, giving me the perfect outline. I mouth over his bulge, teasing.
He’s a beast of a man, with his dick as monstrous as the rest of him.
Peeling them off slowly, I lick his base, sending a shiver through his body.
He grabs my head before his dick is even out, holding me in place so he can insert himself down my throat. I take it, swallowing as he chokes off my air.
I crave it, crave the bliss touching him brings me. But before I’m rewarded with his cum, he hauls me to my feet, slowing us down with a kiss. I finish stripping off his soggy clothes so I can have his skin against mine.
“I need you inside me.”
“Anything you want.” He gets us both towels and takes me to bed.
We lay in bed long after, not moving, both of us fully spent while the anxiety of the day’s events bleeds out of me. I don’t have it in me to care about my father anymore. I wish I could fully let go of him, but I know it’s not possible.
His fingers lightly trace over my skin.
I glance up from where I’m laying on his chest. “I thought you’d fallen asleep.”
“No, just thinking.”
“What about?” I ask, sure he won’t tell me.
He rolls his head on the pillow. “All the choices I’ve made to get me here.”
“Where is here?” I need to know how his head space is.
“In bed with you in a hotel in Boston.”
“And that is?” I’m not anxious about his answer, I realize. I want him, but I can’t chase a guy who doesn’t want to be here anymore.
I need more than that, I’m realizing by the minute. I need real. I’m tired of being alone on an island of solitude as my family implodes. Maybe it’s better to not date an ex-professional hockey player anyway. Do I want what my mother dealt with her whole life? All the cheating? Can I even trust someone like Anthony?
He presses his lips to my forehead, drawing me out of my head. “Stop spiraling.”
I glance up at him again, narrowing my eyes. “How do you know I’m spiraling?”
“You’re not denying it, but to answer your question, I can see it in your eyes.”
“I’ll have to close my eyes next time I’m thinking about anything.”
He tugs my hair, making me look at him again. “I’m not upset I’m here.”
“How can you even be in my room?” I ask, remembering I have a whole ass roommate who hasn’t come back yet.
“The guys are out drinking since we don’t have a curfew. I have Williams keeping an eye on them. I told him it’s part of his job as the assistant coach.” He gets another hint of a smile, each one feeling like I’ve won something. “One of the reasons I haven’t fallen asleep. I’m going to have to get out of here when they head back.”
“Fuck. I need to see if Wolfe texted me.” I don’t want to move.
“Tell him you fell asleep.” Anthony is full of very appealing bad ideas.
“I don’t want to piss them off or for them to come looking for me.”
“Should we move to my room?”
I don’t answer right away. “Yes.”
He sits up, pushing me with him, but hesitates. “My clothes are wet.”
I laugh, unable to help myself. “I didn’t think that one through.” I push my fingers into my hair, getting out of bed. “I didn’t bring much with me, and you’re a bit bigger than I am.”
He cocks his head, giving me a flat look. “A bit?”
“I’d offer you a robe, but I don’t think this hotel is nice enough. Maybe you should pick better for next time,” I tease, knowing he didn’t make the arrangements.
“Don’t start with me.” He comes up behind me, kissing the back of my neck while he presses against me. “Give me your sweatpants. They’ll have to do.”
I linger for a minute, leaning back into him. He hugs me to him tighter, and I pretend I don’t notice.
I dig through my bag before offering him the sweats. “Better be careful. If you stay hard, you’re going to bust through them.”
He holds them up, looking at me over them. “I think I’m at risk of that, hard or not.” He sighs and pulls them on, barely getting them over his thighs.
I make no effort to disguise I’m watching. I make a circle motion with my finger, wanting him to spin.
He holds up a middle finger. “My room key is in my pocket. Hopefully it’s not ruined, because I’d hate to have to go down to the front desk like this.”
“They are plastic.”
“It might mess with the magnetism!” He collects his clothes and retrieves the key before putting them in a laundry bag he found in the closet.
“Hurry up. I miss you.”
“You fucking cinnamon roll.”
“You’re going to regret that.”