Chapter Thirty-Four
ELLIE
Whew.
My breath stuttered out in choppy gasps as I came back to awareness. That orgasm had practically lifted me from the desk and shot me into orbit.
Drew brushed my hair away from my face, his touch feather-light. The tender smile he gave as he gently removed the tie from my mouth made my chest tighten in a way that had nothing to do with what we’d just done. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice yet.
He shook the silk fabric. “Good or bad?”
We’d ventured into new territory—for both of us. “Neutral.” The word came out steadier than I felt. I’d missed being able to kiss him, but staying quiet had been more important. We could dissect it later, though. Right now, my still-clenching core and nerve endings screamed for more of him.
Drew slid his hands around my back and carefully guided me to a sitting position, then reached for my clothes. “No,” I protested. He must have taken my comment to mean I wanted to stop.
Drew paused. “No to what?”
My frustration escaped on an exhale. Heat flooded my cheeks—desperation for him flooded my veins. “I want to keep going.” The admission tumbled out of me before I could second-guess my words. “I need your big cock to fill me up.”
Did I really just say that? Some wild, uninhibited version of myself kept emerging when I was with him.
I knew it was because I trusted him to keep me safe.
He captured my mouth in a kiss that tasted like a promise. “Oh, babe, we’re not stopping. I’ve got at least a few more minutes before we have to run to the next meeting.”
This man knew exactly what he was doing to me. When he blocked my view of the clock, I was certain he was lying, but my body didn’t care—my heart stuttered, my core tightened, and a desperate need tore through me, making me shake in anticipation.
He was trying to make this exciting and taboo for me and I loved him for it.
“We should hurry up then.” Wetness dripped down my thigh, slick and ready.
He grinned. “You did say you wanted to test your scene out.”
“I did.” We’d discussed recreating the desk scene from my story days ago—the one I’d been too shy to fully describe but had somehow managed to type out in vivid detail.
I shifted to roll myself onto my stomach, pulse hammering as fantasy prepared to become reality. Drew positioned me carefully, then I heard the foil tear. The sound of him sheathing himself made everything inside me coil tighter.
When just the tip of him teased my entrance, I couldn’t suppress the groan that escaped. I pushed my hips back, chasing the fullness I craved.
“I don’t know how long I can hold on for.” His gravelly voice trailed over my sensitized skin and left goosebumps in its wake.
“Take me hard. Take me fast.” The words spilled out on a moan. “Take me any way you want.”
“You want to feel my dick in your pussy, giving you what you need?”
“Yes,” I was practically shaking with want. His dirty words drove my desire higher. “Don’t be gentle.”
Something shifted in him—I felt it in how his grip changed, how his breathing roughened. He drove into me in one powerful thrust, filling me completely. “Fuck,” he groaned. “How can you feel so damn good?”
I deliberately squeezed him, savoring how his breath caught and his fingers gripped my hips. The moment stretched between us while he gathered his control, and I felt powerful and desired in a way that made my throat tight.
Saying I felt seen by him didn’t even seem to be enough. It was so much more than that.
He slid his hand around my waist to cushion me from the desk’s edge. In my book, the hero had pressed the heroine flat against the wood. I let myself relax into it. My cheek pressed to the hard surface, my hands on either side of my head, just surrendering to the vulnerability of the position.
I wrote this. And now I was living it.
Drew’s next thrust came slow and deliberate, dragging through my heat in a way that sent sparks radiating outward from my center. I clenched again and heard the same strangled sound from him. Testing, I did it once more as he withdrew and then slammed back home.
My breathing accelerated, matching the rhythm of our colliding bodies. With each increasingly frantic thrust, pressure built low in my belly. “I’m so close,” I whispered, my throat constricted by the tangle of emotions rioting through me.
I met him thrust for thrust, chasing the release that hovered just out of reach.
My climax was right there—I could feel it coiled tight and ready. A frustrated cry tore from my lips.
“What do you need?” Drew asked.
“I can feel it, but I can’t get there.” Desperation bled into my voice. I hated how sometimes after having one orgasm, the second was harder to achieve. My legs shook, my pulse raced, everything inside me quivered on the precipice.
How is he doing this to me? How does he make me feel safe enough to ask for what I want?
His fingers threaded through my hair, tugging until my head tilted back and his lips found my ear. “Touch yourself. Touch me. Go fast, go slow. Do whatever you need to do. Use me.”
He wants me to take what I need. The thought was almost as arousing as his words.
I slid my finger down to circle my clit and jerked at the oversensitivity. The nerve endings still sang from his mouth not long ago. Knowing I was so close, I experimented—circling, pressing, releasing, finding the rhythm that made stars begin to twinkle behind my eyelids.
Drew’s teeth scraped my neck as his movements became more erratic. His thighs went rigid behind mine, and I wondered if he was forcing himself to hold off on his orgasm for me. The thought that he’d hold back his own pleasure for mine made something crack open in my chest.
A combination of his sweet side waiting to come and me hitting my clit just right sent the orgasm ripping through me. My spine arched, my inner walls pulsed in tight waves, and white light sheeted my vision.
His palm clamped over my mouth as a keening cry tore from my throat. I collapsed against the desk, boneless.
He pulsed into me, his weight settling against my back as he dragged in ragged breaths. After a moment, he pressed a kiss between my shoulder blades—so tender it made my eyes sting.
When Drew’s watch alarm chirped, reality intruded. We had about ten minutes to make ourselves presentable before our lunch break ended.
He silenced it, then ran his palms up and down my spine. My body went liquid under his touch. He moved away briefly—the loss of him made me want to protest—then returned after disposing of the condom and pulling his clothes back on.
Instead of letting me stumble to my feet, he lifted me carefully and sat in his chair, drawing me onto his lap. He continued his long, hypnotic strokes along my back. Eventually, I stirred.
Drew pressed a kiss to my hair. “Let me help you get dressed.”
Then he proceeded to guide my pliant limbs back into my clothing with such gentle care that my heart squeezed. All I could think was how desperately I wanted to claim him as mine—and how terrifying that want had become.
This had surpassed a casual relationship a long time ago. And now he was someone I couldn’t imagine being without.
Yet we still hadn’t made plans about how we’d exist once it was time for me to head home.
The question hung unanswered as he smoothed my hair. Today, I’d trusted him with my fantasies, with my body, with a vulnerable part of myself that I usually kept hidden behind carefully constructed walls.
And he treated it all like something precious.
That realization scared me more than anything we’d done on this desk.
We arrived at the B&B a few minutes after 6:00 pm and sat in the car. I didn’t care that we were late after returning home from work to change.This whole wedding and my part in it left a sour taste on my tongue.
Drew studied me with a fiercely protective gleam in his eyes. “We don’t have to stay. You don’t need to show up for them tonight.”
I leaned my head back against the headrest. “I don’t care about my ex, and I mostly don’t care that my sister is marrying him. They deserve each other, but I want to control the narrative with our extended family present.”
When I met his gaze, he smiled. “I’m here for you in any way you need me.”
“I know.” I sighed. “I think what’s bothering me most is how my family has acted this whole time.
” My mind flipped through the pages of my life since I found Celia in bed with Kyle —and several chapters before that.
“I’ve always let them get away with bad behavior.
That started way before Kyle came into my life. ”
Drew intertwined his fingers with mine. The warmth of his palm was always a steady anchor.
I continued voicing my thoughts. “I think I wanted their love so badly I convinced myself that the way Mom and Celia treated me—and Dad ignoring me—was normal. No daughter—or self-respecting woman—should have to beg for scraps of affection.”
His fingers tightened in a light squeeze of support.
I laughed, but it came out bitter. “You didn’t even know I had a dad until he showed up here. He’s such a non-presence in my life.”
Drew chuckled with me. “Accurate. I did wonder if he existed.”
“I’m tired of trying to win favor with people who don’t love me.” Tears filled my eyes, hot and unexpected. “In the short time I’ve spent with your family, they’ve given me more kindness and acceptance than mine has in my whole life.”
Now I finally knew what it felt like to be seen. To be valued for just existing.
“They think you’re pretty great too,” he reminded me.
I sniffed as tears spilled down my cheeks. The ache burning in my chest was a combination of grief and letting go. I let myself feel the disappointment—that they couldn’t love me, couldn’t see my worth.
And now it was too late. I was done trying.
Drew pulled me awkwardly across the console into his arms. “Babe.”
“It’s okay,” I mumbled against his shoulder. “I needed to release this before we went in. It’s cathartic.”
“If you say so.” He didn’t sound fully convinced.