Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
MORGAN
S leep doesn’t come easily, and when it does, I tossed and turned, eventually being dragged into a nightmare.
I thought I got over them; I haven’t had one since I first got here.
And then the night before I go, they’re back.
I blame Ethan, my killing him, and the fact I have to go home.
But ultimately, I think Rhys is the reason.
Shane brought my plane ticket, and surprisingly it was the next day.
It’s too soon. I need to talk to Rhys; I haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon in the shower.
I regret the words I said. I was just considering the idea of staying here, and then that fuck head rocked up and messed with my emotions.
I can’t blame him, not really. If Rhys and I had a conversation, just one goddamn conversation, instead of being scared or insecure or whatever other reason, about how we feel, I wouldn’t be here packing my bags with tears streaming down my face while my heart breaks.
I could be in his arms, safe, warm, loved.
I need to tell him I’m sorry. I need to explain that I didn’t mean any of it. I need to tell him I want him. I want his arms wrapped around me, the small kisses on top of my head. I want him to call me Princess.
But instead, I swallow all that and zip up my bag. I look over to Esky who is curled up on my bed, none the wiser. My alarm goes off and, in the distance, I can hear Rhys’s. Then the heavy footsteps of his booted feet. Did he also not sleep?
I rip out a piece of paper from my sketchpad and lay it on the desk. Placing his hat, the one he never asked for back, the I one never offered to give back on top of the piece of paper. Grabbing my duffle bag, I meet him in the kitchen. He doesn’t look at me, and barely acknowledges my presence.
“Rhys, I want to?—”
He cuts me off. “Dani is going to take you into the airport.”
“But...”
He looks up; his face is blank, no emotion anywhere. “This was the plan, right? Be here until your ex was found. Well, he’s dead. Our arrangement was until you left, no strings, remember? You’re leaving. So, there’s nothing else to say.”
“Fine.” I say through clenched teeth. “Be like that, you stubborn asshole.” And with that I pick up my bag.
The dining table chair scrapes over the floor. “You’re calling me stubborn? You realise you’re leaving because I didn’t fuck you yesterday? So, who’s really the stubborn one?”
I turn to face him. “You’re the one that called Shane.”
“You told me to!”
“Yeah but, fuck… Rhys let me—” I step towards him, pleading with him to listen, but he once again cuts me off as I try find the right wo rds.
“Whatever you’re going to say won’t change the fact that you’re leaving. So just leave.”
I watch as he turns his back and walks to his room.
When he gets to his door, and he pauses, I think he’ll look back, but he pushes into his room.
I just need to utter the words; Rhys I’m falling for you; I want you and only you.
But they don’t come, because what future would we have?
We’re too different. He likes it here. The work, the seclusion. And I, I just need more.
My heart is breaking more in this moment than I think it ever did with Ethan. This is my own doing; I pushed him away. I walk out of his house and wait on the veranda. Beau and Davis arrive along with Brent and Molly.
Molly is crying. “Do you really have to go?”
“Yeah, baby I do. But you have my number, you can call me anytime!”
She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes as she buries her face into my neck. Tears prick the backs of my eyes. I do the best to ignore them even as she mutters, “I love you.”
“I love you too sweet girl, don’t forget to give them hell.” I squeeze her back and let go, allowing Brent to pull her up off me. He holds a crying Molly while I address him, “Sorry for all the chaos I brought.”
“You know you can stay?”
“I don’t belong here.” Is all I say. I can’t find many more words. Turning to Davis, I thank him for the knife, and apologise for letting them deal with the body. “Anytime Barbie.”
“Beau, it was, well it was something.”
He just laughs and wraps me in a hug. It’s not like him to not have something to say .
Dani and Miles pull up in the car; I don’t see Miles letting her out of his sights for a while.
Esky is at my feet, expecting to follow me to the car. I bend down and pick her up; her tail is wagging with excitement, making this hurt that little bit more. Putting my forehead to hers, I whisper to her, “Be a good girl, Esky.”
I pass her to Molly. Esky tries to get free, and Molly’s cries have turned to sobs. She buries her face into Esky’s fur. Brent holds both of them tighter, and offers me a small nod.
The tears I was desperately trying to hold back come flooding out as I get into the car.
“Ready?” Miles asks.
“More than I’ll ever be.” I look out the window one more time, and catch Rhys walking out of his place, and some small part of me hopes he is going to stop this; tell me to stay. But he just walks behind everyone and towards the sheds.
We had a no strings deal. Feelings weren’t meant to be involved. And now, I have to leave the one person who saw me for me and made me feel loved and safe; like I was home.
Stepping off the plane in Sydney, I spot Shane waiting for me. He waves, happy to see me. I try to smile, but my bottom lip quivers. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap me in his hold. He doesn’t ask, just mutters that it’s good to see me. I love that about Shane; he never pushes, but is always there.
My eyes are puffy and red, my nose is dripping, and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck; all because I couldn’t utter four words.
Dani and Miles tried to get me to talk on the way to Burra Point, but that was futile. I apologised again for Ethan having Dani held at gun point, but they told me it wasn’t my fault.
Shane picks my bag from the bag return, and insists on carrying it to his car. I don’t protest. The drive back to Barrenridge is silent. Not hard to accomplish when I don’t want to talk, and Shane is almost allergic to it; but he is the one to break the silence.
“So, Rhys killed him?”
“I did.” I’m not sure if I’m in shock, or I just don’t care that I took someone’s life, but the way I say it, I almost seem bored by the statement.
“You what?”
I face his wide-eyed expression, “What? You said if I killed anyone, you’d help me.”
“Well, yeah… Yeah, no I did, and I will.” And because I can feel the ‘but’ coming, I continue to stare at him. “Taking someone’s life, it can mess with you.”
“I’m fine, Shane.” And that is all I say before turning back to face outside, and continue to watch the landscape pass us by.
He just grunts and continues with the drive in silence. I’m sure he’s taking my silence as guilt, or that I’m breaking. And I am breaking; but not for the reason he thinks.
My phone vibrates. Hope flickers in my chest that it’s Rhys, but why would it be? With my phone in my hand, I turn it to see it’s not Rhys, but Molly. I open the message, and my heart breaks all over again.
Fresh tears roll down my cheeks as I look at the screen; a photo of Molly and Esky with the words: Miss You .
I flick the tears away. I have only been gone twelve hours, but it feels like a lifetime.
Two days ago, I was falling for my brother’s best friend. Two days ago, I felt whole. But now we’re states apart, and I feel more heart broken then I ever have.
RHYS
I watch the cloud of dust as Miles and Dani drive out, taking Morgan to the airport.
I refuse to acknowledge the feelings I have surrounding that.
Last night was rough. As soon as I heard the first scream, I instinctively got up, but when my hand rested on the door handle, I dropped it and went back to bed.
Listening to her cries and screams, broke me that little bit more.
I fought myself to stay put; she’ll have to deal with this when she gets back, so why not start now.
I hated myself for thinking that, because it would also be the last night I got to hold her, so why not just give myself that?
And that’s the question I ask myself as I walk over to the sheds.
If I just gave her what she wanted, what she needed yesterday, I wouldn’t be here throwing myself into work. I could still have her next me while we did jobs together .
I’m so used to people leaving, but I thought Morgan would stay. But the rules of our agreement play over my mind.
Rule One- Shane never finds out.
Rule Two- We only sleep with each other.
Rule Three- This ends when she leaves.
Rule Four- Condoms.
Stupid rules, stupid agreement. And stupid Morgan. Fuck her for making me fall for her.
I turn the ignition and floor the car out of the shed. Brent, Davis and Beau watch as I peel out the shed, and in the direction of the next muster.
For the rest of the day everyone gives me space. I know Beau wants to tell me I fucked up.
I’m sitting out front of my house nursing a now warm beer. It’s quiet, and that makes me uneasy. Esky is at the homestead with Molly. I fucking knew she’d leave the thing behind. But no, she insisted on taking her when she was allowed to keep her. Now look where she is.
“I hate you, Morgan Elliot.”
But I don’t. Not really.
My phone rings. Shane’s name flashing on the screen, I almost don’t answer. “You let her kill him?!”
“Hello to you too.”
“Rhys.” He sounds equally pained and angry. “She’s been quiet since I picked her up. She’s been crying, thinking I can’t see or hear. She’s been locked in her room since we got back from Sydney. Murdering someone takes a part of your soul, and you let her do it!”
I don’t know what to say. I want to know if she’s okay, I want to tell him how to soothe her. I want to be the one to soothe her .
“You know your sister, I didn’t let her do shit, she did that all on her own.” Like the fucking badass she is.
“Rhys, she seems heartbroken.”
Yeah well, she brought that on herself too. If she wasn’t so stubborn. If I wasn’t so stubborn. “She just misses everyone here. Give her a couple days, she’ll be right.”
I don’t believe the words, and neither does he. “Look, thanks for looking out for her while she was there. Bet you’re happy to get back to normal.”
“Yeah, something like that.”
We wrap up the conversation and I decide to have a shower and have an early night. When I walk past what was her bedroom, I close the door, not bothering to look in it.