6. Shoua
CHAPTER 6
shoua
Anthony always knew the right thing to say to get me out of my shell or to make me laugh or even to make me relaxed. I think much of it had to do with his wide, boxy, and boyish grin and the sweet, bubbling energy he consistently radiated. It had an effect on people and even more so on me this past year. Whatever favors or requests he asked of me, I’d scramble to fulfill.
But not the one from Tuesday night when he asked if I could be his fake girlfriend.No, I couldn’t.
No matter how many charming smiles he threw at me, I could never. Not when my heart raced at every booming laugh he let out or when he turned to me and just simply wore a soft smile. I couldn’t pretend when I was already practically putty in his hands, exactly like tonight.
From the corner of my eye, I caught the amused smirk he threw at me. But before I could turn to him, he leaned closer to me. Every inhale I took was of his cologne that had notes of bergamot and cedarwood. It had been his signature scent for the last decade after I gave him a bottle of it for his birthday when we were twenty.
My heart leaped to my throat as I felt the warmth of his breath against the shell of my ear. “Seems like tonight might be your lucky night, Shoua. There’s been at least two guys checking you out.” He chuckled lowly. “Someone’s about to be laid soon.”
I turned to glance at him as excitement danced in his eyes. They almost looked like amber as we sat in the middle of all the chatter and laughter of the Hellbound Brewing Company. Was this how he looked at that Amanda he hooked up with an entire week ago? My heart throbbed for a beating moment, and I scoffed softly at him.
“Sir, if you keep leaning into me like that, people are going to think I’m not single,” I countered as I placed my hands on his hard chest and pushed him back.
I could feel the shape of his hard-earned pecs under his form-fitting cotton shirt and almost gulped. I used to marvel at his muscles and poked at them whenever I noticed a significant change, and he’d happily show me the results of the hard work and discipline he put into his body.
But that was all before I had feelings for him. Now I hardly ever touched him or pointed out his gains the way I used to because I knew I’d gawk with desire, lust, and lots and lots of feelings I shouldn’t be having for my best friend. It would take only one moment for him to look and see the desire in my eyes, and he’d figure it out.
Anthony smiled to himself and shook his head as he scooted closer again. But not as close as he was before. Just enough to still whisper to me and for me to feel the warmth radiating from his skin.
“It’s fucking loud in here so what do they expect me to do? Yell it out to the whole world that you’ve been on the longest dry spell of your life? No way. I’m more chivalrous than that.”
“What a gentleman,” I deadpanned.
His full lips pulled into that adorable, charming, boyish grin, and my belly flopped. “Damn right I am. I always know how to treat my women right.”
A small smile crossed my lips as I sipped my tall glass of lager. I caught a pair of brown eyes watching me from across the way. It was a cute guy from two tables over. He was about to nod at me, but I quickly looked away. I wasn’t ready to take the jump yet. I needed more liquid courage in my system first, so I downed another gulp.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if Anthony was right and there were a few eyes on me. I was dressed my best tonight since I was out on the town for the first time in weeks. I came out with the full intention to get a hookup and perhaps even get my feelings for Anthony screwed out of my system.
But that was all in the brain. My heart clearly had her own plans and that was to stick to Anthony and hang on his every word, glance, and smile.
He was gearing up for a new relationship and may even marry the next woman he got with since we’re already thirty. He told me that since we’re no longer in our twenties, he wanted to settle down eventually, and maybe even have a kid or two, while expanding his dad’s company’s work and expertise.
Which meant I needed to get rid of the crush I had on him before he fell head over heels in love with another woman—before I watched from the sidelines, brimming in happiness for him and envious of his wife.
Before I could tune back into the conversation at our table between Alicia’s boyfriend, and Jonathan, Anthony abruptly leaned back into me. His lips were so close to my ear they practically grazed against it. “Did you get a new perfume, by the way? Or a new shampoo? Because you smell amazing.”
I immediately pulled away as a shiver ran down my spine, flushed and surprised he would even notice.
“I—I—yeah. I’m trying out a new scent for summer.”
Anthony grinned again. He took a moment as he lazily leaned back into me, taking a long whiff of me. He hummed and it vibrated through me to my core. “Mm, you smell so good I just want to take a bite out of you.”
My lower abdomen involuntarily clenched at those words. I was unsure how to respond and began to burn so hot I was sure I was searing the barstool I sat on.
“Thanks?”
“I love it. You should use it all summer.” His eyes glinted for a moment.
Before I could stammer out another response, I felt Alicia next to me as she propped her elbow on the table. “You two sure look comfy,” she immediately remarked.
I turned to her with a scathing look as Anthony laughed lightly. He also propped his elbows on the table and leaned forward with that twinkling, eager, golden brown gaze of his.
“I’m trying to convince Shoua to let loose and have some fun tonight,” Anthony said.
“Oh, really? With whom ?” Alicia smiled slyly in his direction, but he didn’t seem to catch onto it. I glared at her for insinuating, but she was ignoring me with a knowing smile on her face.
“There’s a few guys around here who’ve been checking her out this whole time.” He gave me a quick wink. “You lucky vixen. They’re all your type too, Shoua.”
Alicia laughed, finally turning to me. “Yeah, let loose, girl! You can’t continue to let yourself be hung up on Pierre. I get it that the French know how to get their freak on, but it’s been two years. You need to move on.”
“I’m not hung up on him, Alicia,” I said through a tight smile. She knew why I hadn’t started dating again, so why was she saying this?
“Then what’s been keeping you from dating?” Her brows arched at me, and I felt myself become angry.
I clearly fell into her trap when I should’ve seen it from a mile away because it was so obvious she was heading here.
“I’ve been busy,” I said. “And you know that. Right, Anthony?”
He nodded. “True. We’re busy people, Alicia.” She was about to call bullshit, but he quickly drained his glass of beer, causing Alicia to gape at him. “I’m heading back up to grab another drink. Do any of you want another one while I’m there?”
“Get me another blonde ale,” Jonathan said.
“Same here,” said Alicia’s boyfriend and smiled.
Anthony quickly pulled out his phone and went around the table taking orders. When he headed to the bar, Jackie immediately got my attention. She whispered, “As a completely unbiased third party, I was almost convinced that Anthony had the hots for you.” I glared at her as she shrugged. “That man got me hoping for a second there.”
“You and Jackie need to stop your imaginations from going wild.”
“Why? Wouldn’t it be fun to actually date your best friend?” Alicia said with a frown.
“Our relationship isn’t anywhere close to being romantic and I rather it be that way.”
“Why?”
I pursed my lips. “We have plans to buy more properties together. We’re not just friends. We’re business partners.”
Alicia shrugged. “So?”
I sighed at her indifference. “Besides, he had a one-night stand last week. Or, more specifically, a three-night sex fest. Alicia, he’s going to get a girlfriend soon.”
“Says who?”
“I know Anthony, and I know he’s been restless ever since last week. He’s on the prowl for a new girlfriend and it’s fine.”
Alicia’s lips quickly turned into a smirk. “Then why don’t you make him realize that you’re an option as well? Agree to be his fake girlfriend and show him how happy you two can be together.”
The girls bombarded me with texts the other night after Anthony explained what happened with his parents and Aunt Sue. They didn’t seem deterred by his request for us to be in a fake relationship. In fact, they were upset that I declined him.
“No, he doesn’t have feelings for me and you know that. So, you and Jackie need to stop insinuating that there’s hope there when there isn’t,” I said.
My voice had a particular edge to it that made my friend sigh. Her gaze shifted past me and toward the bar; her expression turned thoughtful for split second. Then a look of defeat crossed her face. “I guess you’re right. Maybe we were wrong after all.”
It was the solemn tone of her words that caused me to look over my shoulder and follow her gaze to a scene I’d mentally prepared all day for. Yet, it still made my heart sink fast and heavy to the bottom of the sea of my emotions.
There at the bar was Anthony, engaged in animated conversation with a stunning woman. She was petite, with flowing black curls and a radiant smile that had obviously grabbed his attention. He was mesmerized by her. The smile he had given me earlier was now flashing towards her. She leaned in to whisper into his ear, and he glanced over to our table and looked directly at me.
He nodded. But it wasn’t the I understand what you’re telling me kind of nod. Instead, it was the Come over here type—the nod where you tilt your head slightly toward a specific direction.
Time slowed to drawn out seconds as my body heavily slipped out of my chair and a haze misted over my eyes. Aside from my blurry vision, the lingering scent of Anthony’s cologne, and the thundering beat of my heart in my ears, the rest of my senses became dull.
Thump, thump, thump .
Unlike Monday morning when Anthony told me about his weekend with Amanda, I felt jealousy and greed pumping viciously through my veins with each powerful strum as the other woman got closer to Anthony. My heart was the only thing I could hear until Anthony’s eyes turned to me and his velvet, deep voice called out to me.
“Shoua,” he said, pulling me out of my daze.
I blinked, only realizing then that I had already walked all the way up to him at the bar. With Anthony mere inches away from me, my hand was already tightly clinging onto his plain white T-shirt, making it all seem like I was desperately trying to claim him as my own.
The beautiful woman he was talking to flashed me a look of pure irritation. I immediately pulled away, now leaving creases in his previously crisp shirt, and I stepped back.
What the hell was I even doing?
Anthony had never been mine and wasn’t now either. I had no right to intercept and meddle like this even if I cared more about him than I liked to admit. My heart sank heavier as he stood there, slightly amused and hopefully forever ignorant about these feelings he elicited out of me.
At the end of the day, we were just friends and that was all we would ever be.
“I need to talk to you,” I said in a calm voice.
My heart was still racing a million miles a minute. I even thought of apologizing, turning away, and running back to our table. But my body was firmly rooted in front of Anthony.
He nodded and quickly turned to give the woman at his side a polite smile. I expected him to lean over her as he did with me earlier, press his lips against her ear, and whisper something. But he did none of that.
I watched as she placed a possessive hand over his abdomen and over the creases I left behind on his shirt. He glanced at her and placed his hand over hers, gently pushing it off. He said something I couldn’t catch over the loud patrons, which made the woman’s face pinch in embarrassment. The bartender finally came over to Anthony and passed two small trays of drinks to him as he pulled away from the beauty.
“I’ll wait outside for you. It’s too loud in here,” I croaked when he handed me one of the trays.
“Yeah, sure,” he said.
I spun on my feet and practically ran back to the table, trying not to spill any drinks. I approached our table with half of the drinks as Alicia, her boyfriend, and Jonathan exclaimed at the arrival of theirs. Before Alicia could ask me anything, I quickly slipped away. I thought I’d have a moment to myself to assess what I had done. But before I could, there was Anthony behind me. He still looked perplexed, even worried, while my heart was still racing wildly in my chest.
“Hey, sorry about that. I didn’t mean to drag you into that mess. But thanks for helping me get out of it. She was a bit too persistent,” he said. His light eyes quickly searched mine, nervously. “Is everything all right?”
“I—I—” I answered, meekly. “Yeah, it’s just?—”
Anthony reached out to me and rubbed soothing circles into my shoulder. We had never been much of the touchy type of friends. In all the years I had known him, I think we had only truly hugged three or four times before my accident. The hug we shared after that incident was the longest and tightest we’ve ever hugged one another. So, the simple physical touch from him sent waves of shivers down my spine. It felt nice to be in his embrace then and now.
“Are you getting sick? Why are you shivering?” he asked, immediately putting the back of his other hand on my forehead.
As Anthony fussed over me for those mere seconds, I couldn’t deny how happy I felt, and that made me worried. What if this stupid little crush grew stronger and more intense? What if I couldn’t bring myself to let these feelings go?
I swallowed thickly. “I wanted to tell you I’ll say yes,” I said.
“Yes to what?” he asked.
“To be your fake girlfriend,” I whispered.
While I could wallow in my what ifs, I had the perfect opportunity to burn all that I felt for him into cinder and ash. Then never look back.
Or fall dangerously deeper for him.
Before I could even see the way his eyes lit up, he immediately pulled me into a tight embrace. With my face buried between his pecs, I shakily let out a breath with my heart beating out of my chest.
I was going to be my best friend’s fake girlfriend.