24. Shoua
CHAPTER 24
shoua
There was always a nagging thought at the back of my mind that my mom was going to find out about my fake relationship with Anthony. I wasn’t sure how, but my gut kept telling me it was going to happen sooner or later.
Although my mom catching wind of us being “together” wouldn’t necessarily complicate our lies or cause the demise of it, that wasn’t what I was worried about. What stressed me out the most was her love for gossip and dramatizing details.
I was worried about the kind of lies she may spew about us. Or, more specifically, I was stressed over what she could say about Anthony. I could handle the things she’d say about me, but I couldn’t allow her to just say whatever she wanted about him. I needed to protect him from her.
The only way for me to do that was to head over to my parents’ place and talk to them in person. I needed to gauge the situation since I could never do it over the phone with my mom. She could be an enigma over calls.
“Anthony, can you please pull over?” I asked. “I need a moment to calm down.”
I buried my face in my palms and blew out a long and exasperated sigh as he pulled over to the curb. “I’m so sorry, but you’re going to be pulled into my family drama,” I said.
All my exes had always stood far away from the drama surrounding my family, especially considering how volatile my relationship was with my mom. They never wanted to get caught in whatever my mom would conjure up. I never blamed them since most of them had a lot of crap that they had to deal with regarding their own families, and I gladly stood on the sidelines for that. But Anthony was different.
He had a loving and supportive family. His parents were great people. They strived for healthy, adult relationships with their adult children. They were the kind people who cared for and loved Julie and Jonathan essentially as their own kids. They cared a lot about them and my Aunt Yee greatly.
Both Auntie Gao and my aunt had been friends for decades ever since meeting in the refugee camps in Thailand after their families escaped there after Laos fell into the communist takeover. But, despite their decades-long friendship, the Hughes never had to move next door to Auntie Yee after my uncle passed away years ago. They still did it because they loved my aunt and her children.
I could always see the warmth they gave the people they love. Although I knew they loved me just as much as Julie or Jonathan as well, I couldn’t help but wish I had parents like Auntie Gao and Uncle Gary.
“Hey,” he said softly. “It’ll be all right.”
I looked up at him, ready to counter. Instead, I was met with warm eyes and a gentle expression. Anthony hardly looked worried at all even though we were heading straight into the dragon’s den. He was so relaxed without a single bit of stress on his face. Seeing him like that caused all the worry lodged in my throat and heavy in my chest to dissipate slowly but surely into thin air.
Wordlessly, he reached out to me with inquiring, open hands. My hands were tightly clenched into fists as I placed them in his. He soothed and massaged both out slowly—taking his time with each hand—until I was goo in his palms. My skin tingled and craved more for his touch as he pulled his hot fingertips away.
“We’ll be all right. You hear?” he confirmed. “Just leave it up to me.”
My brows crumbled together. “Anthony.”
“Let me take care of you, Shoua.” His voice was firm and pleading.
My eyes began to mist as I looked at him—dark and damp hair pushed back, glowing golden skin, kissable moles marked along his nose bridge and jaw, and the most beautiful pair of golden brown eyes peering back. He was breathtaking.
If we weren’t great friends and were simply just two people who existed on this earth, then I’d lean over and fervently kiss that sweet, tender smile off his lips. I’d let myself fall into him as if I had waited my whole life to be with him.
“Are you sure?” I croaked. My lips trembled and I could feel tears prickling the corner of my eyes.
No crying , I said to myself. Not right now .
“You’re safe with me. I promise.” His fingertips lightly grasped my chin, keeping my eyes on him.
We stared at one another for a while as my blood thickened and all I could hear was the way my heart worked hard to pump with all its might.
“You’re lucky my mom likes you,” I said as I sniffed.
“Exactly! So, don’t worry.” Anthony grinned confidently. He finally pulled away from me, leaving his heat seared into my skin.
I rolled my eyes. “That’s only because you’re charming and handsome.”
He let out his adorable, high-pitched hyena laugh as he rested his elbow on the center console. He lazily rested his chin in his palm, looking cocky as hell. His grin tipped into a smirk and pulled the strings of my lips with his. I smiled back as he fluttered his long lashes at me.
“Keep telling me sweet nothings. I love to hear it.” His voice was deep and husky like last night when we slept together.
My lower belly clenched as I remembered the way he used that voice to make me come. I shook my head at him.
“Let’s take few deep breaths before we face your mom together,” he said.
Anthony’s eyes never left mine as we inhaled and exhaled in tandem. Breathe in and breathe out. Slow and methodical. After five deep breaths together, I felt much better, and he knew it. He didn’t say anything; he just looked at me with bright eyes and a wide boyish smile that could light up even the darkest corners of the world, making my chest constrict.
This was the look I expected him to give me when I woke up this morning, except he didn’t. I was half-expecting him to act like his usual self and laugh it off, which would’ve hurt less than the look he gave me.
Pure panic and regret were written all over his face the moment I opened my eyes. The way his face twisted would forever be burned in my memories. How could I possibly forget the way the filtered sunrays peeped through his curtains and across his face, showcasing those wide, afraid eyes? Or the way his brows crumpled together, tied by a thick line of apprehension, while his lips pressed thin with alarm?
He was terrified, and so was I.
I took in another gulp of breath, hoping to ease the heaviness of my body, heart, and soul. I took in yet another to shoo what happened earlier out of my mind.
“Ready?” Anthony asked gently.
With a single nod from me, he pulled away from the curb and we were on our way to my mother. When we got there, she looked rather surprised, maybe even embarrassed, that Anthony was with me. My parents, Sai, Anthony, and I all sat in the living room.
My family was on one side of the room, while Anthony and I were on the other. As my anxiety rose, Anthony looked calm and collected. But I’m sure he wasn’t entirely relaxed; he had to play the part of a good and respectful Hmong young man.
He didn’t sit far from me, but he was at a respectful distance. His arm wasn’t thrown over my shoulders like it’d typically be at his parents’. While his parents were progressive, mine were a bit more conservative and traditional, and he knew this. PDA was a huge no in front of them.
“So, you and Shoua are together,” my dad said firmly. He looked Anthony straight in the eyes.
Unlike my mom, he wasn’t upset. He seemed genuinely inquisitive, especially since my family had always known Anthony as nothing more than my friend. However, my dad had a natural intimidating aura about him. It made it hard for anyone who didn’t know him well to gauge his true feelings, but I knew he was delighted with the news.
“Yes, Shoua and I have been together for a few months now,” Anthony answered with a nod.
“Shoua, why didn’t you tell me the truth about you two?” my mom asked. Her bitter words cut off my dad before he could respond to Anthony, and we all looked at her. I could practically see the blood boiling under her mottled skin. “You’re in a relationship with Anthony and yet you refused to help your brother out when I asked you to ask your boyfriend for a favor. Do you even know how upset I am right now about your lies and deceit?”
“That was unintentional, ma’am,” Anthony said, answering for me. “We only told Aunt Sue and my mom about our relationship because Aunt Sue has been trying to set me up with her daughter. Shoua and I agreed we’d tell our families about our relationship once we were ready. We meant to announce it to you all soon.”
My mom’s nose flared in his direction. She was quiet for a moment, as if she was deep in thought about his answer until she spoke up. “Anthony, if you could kindly help out Sai by giving him a job again then?—”
“Now is not the time for that,” my dad interrupted, exasperated. His voice was a sharp snap and my mom immediately backed down. He turned back to Anthony with a long sigh. “Son, if you two are together, does that mean you’ll eventually get married? Or are you just fooling around? You bought that property together after all.”
“Dad, we barely started dating—” I quickly answered, flustered. I understood that my dad just wanted to get to the bottom of whatever they heard through the grapevine, but he didn’t need to head straight to the core.
“It’s a bit early to say for sure if we’ll get married, but your daughter will make me the happiest man alive if she says yes and grants me the chance to be her husband,” he said, placing his hand on my thigh and squeezing it. “I’ll gladly marry her if she lets me.”
Even though I knew that was very much a lie, my heart palpitated wildly.
My dad nodded while my mom let out a long, angry breath. I also wanted to let out a sigh of relief, thankful for my father’s presence. This conversation wasn’t as volatile as it would’ve been if it was just with my mom. He brought the calm to my mom’s raging storm at times, but that wasn’t without a retort or two.
“Son, I trust that you’ll be a man of your words,” my dad said.
“I will. You have nothing to worry about,” Anthony answered.
“Good.” My dad’s intimidating face cracked into a smile as he stood up.
Anthony immediately got to his feet as well as my dad reached across the way to give him a firm handshake. I tried not to gawk at how happy my dad was. I had never seen him like this with any of my previous boyfriends when I introduce them to him.
I glanced over at my mom, who was watching them. She was still upset, but I wasn’t surprised to see the glee that was also in her eyes. It was then that I realized both my parents wanted me to marry Anthony. Not just my mom, which was why my dad went straight to the point with Anthony. He wanted an answer, as if that would seal the deal.
Dread slowly seeped into my veins as I glanced at Sai, who was bored out of his mind. He scoffed at me. I could tell he was still upset after our debacle the last time I came home. But over what? Over the fact that I told him to learn how to speak up for himself? It wouldn’t surprise me if he was upset over something as simple as that.
“You two are fucking. So what?” he said. “Anthony could do better than you, to be honest. You’re not even pretty, and I’m surprised he’d settle on you—of all women.”
My body instinctively flinched at the sting of his words as I stood up from my seat.
“Excuse me, Sai,” Anthony immediately interjected. His voice was calm but carried an unmistakable edge to it. “That’s not an appropriate way to speak about Shoua or our relationship.”
Anthony’s entire body immediately became stiff as he clenched his hands so tightly, they turned white. He was trying his best to keep it all together instead of speaking his mind, especially with the role he was supposed to play now in front of my parents. He wasn’t just my friend anymore to them. He was my boyfriend . The tension between him and Sai was thick, dampening the lighter mood my dad just casted.
Sai raised an eyebrow, his expression shifting from boredom to mild annoyance as Anthony came to my side. I brushed my hand against his, causing him to relax a bit. My brother continued to stare at us with narrowed eyes.
“Who are you to tell me what’s appropriate?” he retorted, crossing his arms defensively. He looked like a dumb kid trying to argue with an adult.
Anthony maintained his composure as he stood tall and stared down at my brother. His hard gaze was unwavering. “I’m someone who respects and care for Shoua,” he replied evenly. “And I won’t stand by while someone speaks disrespectfully about her, even if you are her family.”
The glance he gave my mom didn’t go unnoticed by me, but neither of my parents or brother seemed to catch on. Sai was taken aback by Anthony’s unwavering stance. He became flustered and was unable to say anything in response, especially when my mom started to chide him.
“Sai! Why would you say something like that to Shoua? Show some respect to your sister and future brother-in-law!” she said with a nervous chuckle.
I almost scoffed. Was that how she was going to refer to Anthony now? Her future son-in-law?
Embarrassment immediately colored my dad’s face at my mom’s and brother’s shameless acts, but he tried his best to redirect the conversation. Sai, on the other hand, let out a dramatic sigh and got up and left the living room without muttering another word.
“I’m grateful you could come with Shoua to explain your relationship and where you stand with my daughter,” he said, grabbing Anthony’s attention. “Tell your parents we would love to formally talk to them about the two of you when they have time. Give them a heads-up that we’ll give them a call eventually.”
Anthony smiled. “Of course. I’ll let them know.”
Sweat beaded down my back as I felt a huge dose of stress and worry surge through me, mixing with the dread I was already feeling. Anthony and I were supposed to be dating, not getting married . My dad was jumping the gun.
“Dad, we’re only dating,” I reminded him with a tight smile.
My dad grinned. “Of course.”
I glanced at my parents’ elated faces, feeling the guilt begin to weigh me down. None of this was real. It was all an act—a complete sham. I wanted to tell them the truth, but I didn’t trust them to keep the secret, especially my mom.
“If that’s all there is, then we’ll be leaving,” I said.
As we said goodbye to everyone, my dad’s glimmering, bright eyes flicked between Anthony and me. After Anthony opened the car door for me, I climbed into his truck and slumped in the seat.
“Well, that was a bit . . . much,” Anthony said with a sigh.
“Sorry,” I said. “My dad was a good sport. But my mom and brother, on the other hand, were being unreasonable.”
“Yeah,” he grumbled. The car rumbled to life, and we were on our way back home, which I was grateful for. “I’m glad your dad was there instead of what could’ve happened if it was just your mom, Sai, and us. By the way, I’ve never noticed this, but does Sai always talk to you like that?”
Sai took after my mom when it came to the sharp words he would throw at Lee and me at times. Usually, they were dull. However, today was one of those days when they were sharp and hurt me exactly where he wanted it to. I was sad my own brother would say these kinds of words to me, even if I offended him the last time we saw one another. It was just cruel.
“Yes, but his words usually have no effect,” I answered. “He’s bitter. I have a feeling he might still be upset about what happened the last time I was home.”
“You mean the last time you were here and had a panic attack driving home?” he clarified. When I didn’t answer, he nodded slowly. “What did you say to him?”
I let out a long breath. “I told him he needed to learn how to speak up for himself instead of asking Lee and me to do it all the time for him. I also told him to start a career or fight for a life he’d at least want. I’ve already said that stuff to him many times before, but I guess he took it the wrong way last time.”
“You were only telling him the truth. He didn’t need to get angry and say all those horrible things about you.”
I shrugged. “He’s my mom’s son. What do you expect?”
“He’s still your brother. He didn’t have to disrespect you like that in front of me just because you don’t coddle him. Besides . . . everything he said about you isn’t true.”
A beating moment passed us by as he pulled up to a stoplight. Anthony looked at me in the eyes and, with a slow blink, the hard lines of his face instantly softened. “You’re beautiful, Shoua. You’ve always been. But you’re so much more than just looks. You have a warm and big heart. You love so deeply and care too much about other people,” he continued. “Take your family and clients, for example. You bend over backwards for them all the time out of your own good heart. Sometimes, I feel like you don’t even see the value of your worth at times. I wish . . . I wish you could see yourself through my eyes so you would know exactly how beautiful you and your soul are.”
“Anthony,” was all I could say as my eyes began to burn. I quickly blinked, trying to keep the tears at bay, but I couldn’t.
Through my blurry vision, I could make out the grin stretched broad along the lines of his lips. “It’s the truth.”