Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Sydney
Sunday rolls around and I’m still tired, but I got a bit more rest yesterday and cleaned the house.
My mom is watching Mari for me today. I dropped her off and now I’m standing in front of my closet trying to figure out what to wear.
I can’t imagine what he wants to do for the day, but he said to dress warm.
I decide on a pair of tight black jeans with low-heeled boots, a black long-sleeved mock turtleneck sweater, and my black leather biker jacket.
I slip my beaded Zulu bracelets onto my wrist.
Every time I do this, I remember the girl who gave them to me. I won’t forget her name. It’s Mari’s middle name in her honor. That family saved me. Mari and I wouldn’t be alive without them.
Taking a deep breath, I let the memories go. I can’t have a day with Tucker if I’m thinking of back then.
I make my way into the bathroom and flip my head over. I rake my fingers through my waves to break them up and give them a wild look before pulling my hair back into a low ponytail.
I texted with Lydia for a bit, trying to talk myself out of this date.
But she told me to take a leap and have some fun.
She might be one of my closest friends, but like everyone around, she doesn’t know me.
She doesn’t know what I went through. What I had to do.
The choice I had to make. She only thinks with hearts in her eyes since she’s been married to her high school sweetheart and has been in love with him since she was fourteen.
She is the mother to twins, a boy and a girl.
I couldn’t tell her how Tucker makes me feel.
How he saw too much of me on Friday. He saw the pain I hide under the makeup.
I feel like he can see into my soul and knows the horror I’ve lived through.
I put on heavier foundation to cover the dark spots left from the nightmares that greet me every time I close my eyes.
For my eyes, I do a dark brown liner with a softer brown lid and a swipe of mascara.
I’m one of those few women gifted with thick, full lashes and brows I don’t have to color in, just brush.
Grabbing my matte deep red lipstick, I color my lips and look at myself in the mirror.
My happy persona is on. A mask I use to make people think I’m just like them when I’m far from it.
I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. Maybe one day I’ll fake it enough that I will truly be happy.
Then I’ll sleep and be able to enjoy life again.
For now, I’ll do the best I can for my daughter and those around me.
I head to the kitchen for a glass of water and the heavy-duty anti-inflammatory I still have to take for my ankle.
I woke up with it stiff and aching. I know it’s from all the walking I’ve been doing at work.
If this keeps up, I’ll have to put on my brace for a few days, and I don’t want to do that.
I don’t like feeling vulnerable. My black boots are cinched tight to protect the still healing limb, but it’s not just the ankle.
My shoulder has been stiff too. I rotate it to remove the ache as the doorbell chimes.
I look at the stove clock and see it’s five minutes before the hour. I like that he’s early.
I swing open the door, and just like every time I see him, my heart stops.
He’s dressed in dark blue relaxed fit jeans, brown boots, a black concert T-shirt with a flannel, and a leather jacket with his cut.
His golden blond hair is getting longer and in need of a trim.
The scruff on his face is slightly darker and begs for my hands to rub across it.
His lips tip up and I take in his green-blue eyes.
Eyes that have called to me in the night.
He arches his brow and I know he said something that I missed.
“Hi.” I step aside to let him in.
He advances on me, and part of me wants to step back, but not in fear. I want this man. Everything about him calls to me. My body responds to him in a way it’s never done with any other man.
“You look beautiful,” he says in his gruff tone. He reaches out and gently cups my cheek. I close my eyes, leaning my head into his touch. His thumb brushes under my eyes, just like the other day. “You need some sleep, spitfire.”
I roll my lips between my teeth, needing to break the connection as I step back. Even though I tried to cover it up, he still saw through my mask. How does he see what no one else has?
“I’m fine. Let me grab my stuff.”
I turn away from him, but he pulls me back and into his arms. My hands land on his chest, and he leans down. I watch as his head gets closer and closer. His lips coming toward me. Part of me wants to step back. But the main part needs to feel this. Needs to know I’m alive and free of those demons.
I take a breath and close my eyes just before his lips touch mine.
The kiss is light and soft. So soft I push up, needing more.
He growls and drops the helmet in his hand.
It clunks onto the bench next to me. With both hands now free, he pulls me into his body and lifts me up.
I wrap my legs around his waist as my back hits the wall behind me.
I groan in need for him along with pain as my scarred, damaged body tries to take it. Take the pain.
His beard and mustache abrade my skin as he deepens the kiss. His tongue slides across my lips, and I open to him. My head falls back as he turns it to take my mouth deeper. We both groan in pleasure. My hand is in his hair, pulling him closer. I need to become a part of him. I need to feel alive.
He rips his lips away, and I try to find him again. I try to pull him back to my needy mouth, but he holds himself away. His breaths are coming in gasps. I look into his eyes and know that will have to be the last time I lose control with him. I can’t introduce him to my world.
“Spitfire, if we don’t leave now, I’m taking you against this wall, and you aren’t ready for what that will mean for you.”
His words wash over me, and I like the image, but I don’t understand them. It could be that goodbye fuck I’ve heard about.
“Oh… Okay.”
He releases me, and I slide down his body. My leg briefly catching on the chain to his wallet. He holds me until I feel steady on my feet again.
“I got you a helmet and a band for your hair.”
He turns from me and picks up the helmet he dropped. The helmet is black with red roses all over it. The leather wrap for my hair is in the same print and design. I love them.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to. They are beautiful.” My lips feel swollen from his kiss.
He reaches out after handing them to me. “I want to keep you around for a while, so we need to protect that beautiful mind of yours.”
I smile up at him and then look down, embarrassed, unsure how to take what he just said. This will be the only date we ever have. Mari has to be my focus, and I’m afraid to trust again.
“Now come on. I have a full day planned for us.”
He leads me outside, and I turn to see his flat black Harley sitting in my drive. It hits me that it’s the same color as his truck.
“Typhon helped me get the second seat on my bike, so you won’t be sitting on the fender.”
I don’t know what to say. I just stand there, worried for the first time that I won’t be strong enough to push him away like I need to after today. I remember the first time I saw him on his bike, the feeling of need that raced through my body. How powerful and sexy he looked on that very bike.
I step up to the machine and put the leather wrap around the base of my ponytail before I slip the helmet on. He helps me buckle it. The full-face cover has a tint to it that dulls the sunlight slightly.
When he swings his leg over the seat and sits on the machine, I’m instantly turned on again by the picture he presents. The sexiness of him and the bike.
He holds his hand out, and I slip on behind him.
I try to keep my distance, not wanting to be too close to him, but he reaches behind my knees and pulls me in against his back.
My hands tentatively hold his sides as he puts on his helmet and starts up the engine.
The power flows through my body, and as he takes off, I relax into him.
I slide my hands around his front and under the edge of his jacket to his flannel shirt beneath.
I rest my head on his back and forget who I am and my past.
Poseidon
The moment she relaxes into me, my body relaxes too.
I could see her trying to pull away from me before.
I needed to kiss her lips just for a moment.
Just to feel them. To know if they are as soft as they look.
To mess up the perfect color on them, but the lipstick didn’t budge, and all I did was prove that she is mine more than ever.
Every time she is close, I must be near her.
From the first moment I saw her watching me from her door to the moment she cowered in my arms, afraid of whatever was in her mind at that time, each memory is ingrained in my soul and helps heal the pain I feel every day.
She thought I would run when I found out about Mari, but all she did was solidify in my heart that they are mine.
When Sydney told Wrenn that Mari’s father was dead, yeah, I was glad, but more than that, I was determined to make sure Mari never knows the pain I did when I lost my mom. That she will always have support.
Sydney’s hands clench on my stomach as we take a turn, and I’m instantly thinking about that kiss again. About the way she felt in my arms. The way her body responded to mine. My brothers in the club say it took just one look for them to fall. I don’t care what it was. I want to keep feeling it.