Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Sydney
I make my way across the sand in the dark, keeping my headlamp pointed at the ground to make sure I don’t step on any critters or trip on a root or plant.
We heard gunshots earlier, and our worst fears were realized.
A rhino was slaughtered and his horn taken from him.
His body left on the savanna as if he was worth nothing. He wasn’t to the poachers.
I’d taken pictures of him earlier in the day.
I had a night vision game cam set up near where he was killed, and I came out here to get the proof to turn over to the authorities.
I pat my cargo pocket, hoping I can find the evidence in all the footage for the Akashinga to use to stop these people from doing this again.
The Akashinga troops protect the animals around here.
They are warriors, and I’ve worked with them in the past.
My tent looms over me and I unzip the flap, stepping inside the dark interior. I don’t remove my boots or clothes. I’m too exhausted. I fall onto the cot after kicking it to make sure nothing creepy-crawly is in the sleeping bag.
I’m almost asleep when a noise in the distance breaks through the night sounds across the savanna. Everything goes still. The bugs stop chirping. The monkeys go silent. Even the lions that were chuffing and growling moments ago fall quiet.
Only a thwapping sound can be heard. One I’ve heard before.
My eyes fly open as it gets closer. It can’t be. Not after dark. Only a few pilots would risk flying at night. I look across the tent and wish I was in the open to see if I’m right. To see if a light is flashing, breaking the darkness.
The chopper is closer now, moving fast through the night air. I sit up, about to swing my legs from the cot, when another sound breaks the night. The thud of bullets hitting the ground.
Screams follow. Cries of pain. I freeze, afraid to move. Afraid of what this could mean. Afraid of what I’ll see if I step outside my tent.
Why are they attacking us?
A searing pain explodes in my ankle, and I hit the ground as my tent collapses around me. I throw myself as far as I can from where the bullets are landing. Warm liquid oozes from my right boot.
I roll to my stomach and army crawl across the tent floor. Voices shot outside in Shona. My teammates are begging for their lives before they are silenced. Executed.
When I get to the back of my tent, I pull the knife from my hip and cut it open so I can crawl out. Looking around, I see Brigade men moving through the camp, their flashlights slicing the dark. I know the sounds will have attracted the Akashinga troops, so I continue to crawl.
Gravel and dirt cut through my sleeves as I try to get away. Footsteps follow close behind, and I push myself to move faster, knowing my ankle won’t hold me up.
I’m lifted from the ground by my hair. I scream as I’m swung around. His eyes look back at me. The evil grin on his face tells me I shouldn’t have made him mad. But he betrayed me, so I made him sorry. I ended us in a brilliant and public way.
“You shouldn’t have ended us, Sydney,” Bahati yells in Shona in my face.
I lift the knife in my hand and swing at him, but he grabs it and sticks it into my side.
I scream in pain as he throws me back to the ground.
Crying out as my body hits and slides across the hard earth.
It’s then I realize I still have my sidearm.
If there’s one thing I learned in all my training, it’s never give up.
As long as I have breath in my body, I will fight.
I move my hand to my side, where the knife is still stuck in me. I pull it out and drop it to the ground.
“Bahati, no. Please don’t kill me. I thought you cared for me. Think about what we had,” I beg as he aims his gun at me.
I want to tell him about the news I realized just yesterday, but I worry that will make him want to kill me more if he knows I’m pregnant. Now that I know he was married the whole time we were together, I know he doesn’t care for me.
I pull the gun from my holster and hold it to my front. His focus is on my face and not my hands. I don’t want to kill him, but I will if he doesn’t give me a choice.
“We were nothing, ever. You were a means to an end.”
I cry out as his gun goes off. My body slumps to the ground, and for a moment, I think I’m dead, but then I realize my right arm is barely working now. I look at it and see that he shot me in my shoulder. My gun is now lying against my left hand.
“Where is it?” he shouts. “Give it to me, and I’ll make it painless.” He cocks the gun again.
I fire my gun as I scream.
I come awake screaming, clawing at the haze around me.
Tucker holds me close, saying soft words in my ear.
The memories roll through my mind. I cry for the man I killed, because no amount of training prepares you to take another human’s life.
I cry for the people who died—the innocent photographers, filmmakers, and biologists. For the situation I was put in.
I cling to Tucker as he holds me. He asks all the time about what happened to me, but I can’t tell him.
I know he suspects a lot, but I never confirm his fears.
My own fear is too great. I’m sure as a soldier and honorable man he won’t understand why I killed.
That I killed instead of injuring. That I was charged with murder.
I’m a murderer, just as much as Bahati and the Brigade.
In the two months since the incident with my car, I’ve struggled still to tell my counselor exactly what happened to me.
I talk about the betrayal of finding out Bahati was married and cheating on his wife with me.
I don’t tell her what I had to do. Or the further betrayal of learning he was a high-ranking Brigade member who only dated me and sought me out because of my position with the conservation filming crew.
I drift off back to sleep, ignoring the questions, pretending I don’t hear them. I can’t lie to Tucker, so I avoid the truth. I’m not ready to lose him.
“Spitfire, how soon until you’re ready?” Tucker’s voice comes from the bedroom. “Fuck, baby, what the hell are you doing?” he says when he enters the bathroom.
I’m bent over the tub, scrunching my hair to bring out the natural wave.
I’ve been wearing it wavier than taking the time to straighten it lately.
The summer heat and humidity wreak havoc on my hair when it’s straightened.
I’m in a towel with a microfiber towel in my hands as I do what they call a micro plop on my hair.
Today the Drago Defiance is doing a ride together, and I’m excited to spend the day with not only my man but Wrenn too.
She is having her parents babysit Jori so that she can go on the ride with us.
I’ve been so busy with work and counseling that we haven’t spent time together.
Wrenn is also busy with going back to work and learning to fit a baby into her schedule.
It’s already August, and Mari’s birthday is a week and a half away. We are planning a huge party for her, but today is just about us.
Tucker moves in behind me and drops to his knees.
He flips the edge of the towel up, exposing me.
He already had me this morning and again in the shower, but as usual, we can’t keep our hands off each other.
His big hands wrap around my thighs and pull me back.
I drop the towel and grip the edge of the tub as his tongue works through my folds, zeroing in on my clit.
“Tucker,” I moan as he slips two fingers in me.
“I’ve got to have you again, baby.”
He stands, leaving me hanging on the cusp. Turning my head, I watch him unbuckle his belt and drop his jeans. His long, thick cock is already hard and pointed at me, the tip ruddy with need for me.
“Hold on. This is going to be fast.” He warns as he pushes inside me in one long thrust.
“Please,” I beg as he pulls out and slams back home.
He fills me up to the point of almost too much, but I wouldn’t change it at all.
His grip on my hips is almost bruising. His thrusts are slow on the out and hard on the in, and my eyes start to roll back.
He moves in me, over and over. Then he lifts one of his legs up on the side of the tub, changing the angle of his penetration.
I moan and cry out, demanding more of him, and he gives it to me.
His heat is more than usual. I can feel everything from the veins along his cock to the edge of his head when he pulls it out to the tip.
“I love watching how wet I get you. Seeing you all over my cock. Get there, baby, because I’m going to blow.”
I reach between my legs and rub my clit in circles. I go off as he slams into me a final time. He holds himself tight against me. His cum leaking out of me. And that’s when I realize why he felt so good. Shit.
“Oh fuck, baby, I was so turned on I didn’t realize we missed using a condom.”
“It was only once. We have got to be careful,” I say as he pulls me up and turns me in his arms. His lips come down on mine in a gentle kiss.
“If it ever happened, you know I would make it right. I want you and Mari in my life,” he says, his hands resting against my cheeks. His eyes boring into mine. Seeing everything.
I let my eyes fall closed, knowing that no matter how much I care for him, it could never happen. I couldn’t burden him with Mari’s and my lives. Or the reality of what I did.
His hands squeeze me slightly. “I’m serious, Sydney. You and me, baby.”
I open my eyes and look up at him. Unable to speak the words, I just nod.
“Let’s clean up and get ready to head out,” he says.
Again, I only nod and watch as he cleans himself and pulls his clothes back on. My heart clenches because I don’t know how much longer I can keep the secrets from him. How much longer I can keep my past from ruining my future. He turns to look at me, and his lips tip up as he takes me in again.