Chapter 1 – The Murky Middle #2
Problem was, a shift in Griff’s and my metaphorical tectonic plates had happened the moment Magnolia laid her lips on mine. Like a fault line waiting to crack open and swallow us up. Griff and I were on opposite sides, whether I liked it or not.
I did everything I could to hold that line firmly in place.
It pretty much consumed me. Tiptoeing around him, pretending his hurtful jabs never landed—they did, every time.
But I loved my mom too much to let us fall apart.
So there I was, straddling that crack, holding on for dear life, while Griff jumped up and down as hard as he could, trying to speed up the impending quake.
A shout carried over the breeze. It sounded like Griffin. Or had I just imagined it because of the turmoil in my head? I glanced over my shoulder toward Uncle Ford’s beach house. Where was Mom? It looked like Aunt Peyton and Sage’s mom, Heidi, had taken over supervising the reception setup.
Cash caught my eye, the wariness shifting to something deeper. “Griff’s inside with your parents.” His jaw pulsed. “It’s not good.”
I sat up taller. “What’s going on?”
He was tight-lipped, wearing a look that made my blood run cold. “Hotshot stuff again.”
“At James’s wedding?” I scoffed. Griffin kept talking about moving to Arizona to become a wildland firefighter.
I couldn’t understand it. He had his dream firefighting job right here.
Why would he want to move somewhere hot enough to cook your organs and dig ditches for a living? “He can’t drop it for one day?”
When another shout reached us—this time from my dad—I hopped up. Brushing the sand from my pants, I took off at a jog. After another shout, I kicked into a full-on run.
I burst into the house and followed the sound upstairs to the room my parents always stayed in for beach week. I stopped outside the door to listen.
“Do you have a death wish? You’re not going!” Dad roared.
“Hate to break it to you,” Griffin said coolly. “But I definitely am, and you can’t stop me. I’m grown, Dad. I can make my own decisions.”
My hands shook slightly, worried I’d only make things worse if Griffin knew I was out here.
“Griff?” Mom sobbed. “Please don’t. It’s so dangerous.”
The gut-wrenching ache in her voice made the decision for me.
I opened the door and slipped inside. The three of them turned.
Mom’s mascara was running down her cheeks.
Dad looked pissed and completely helpless.
But Griffin’s expression was nonchalant, like he didn’t care about the heartbreak he was causing. And he was annoyed I was there.
I darted past them to the open window and quickly shut it. Then I turned and spoke calmly. “I could hear you all the way by the water.”
Griffin rolled his eyes like I’d just said something idiotic. But that was his response any time I opened my mouth. So normally, I just didn’t.
From the looks on my parents’ faces, I knew the megathrust was finally here. “What’s going on?” I asked hesitantly.
“What’s going on is it’s none of your damn business,” Griffin snarled.
“Stand down,” Dad barked. Then he looked at me. “Griff took a job in Arizona as a hotshot. He leaves tomorrow morning.”
My head jerked back, and I gaped at my brother. “Are you stupid? You could die.” He could die at his job now. But being a hotshot raised those chances exponentially.
He shrugged like he didn’t care. “Whatever.” But there was something in his expression that told me he was a touch scared. Then, those eyes narrowed on me. “It’s better than being here.”
With you, he didn’t say, but it hung in the air anyway.
It was fine. I’d take whatever verbal punch he threw if it made him feel better.
Mom’s shoulders shook with silent sobs. Dad took a step toward her, looking half out of his mind. Dad couldn’t handle Mom crying. He’d do anything to make her happy. But I got to her first, pulling her into my arms. She buried her face in my shoulder, wetting my shirt.
“What is wrong with you?” I whispered to Griff. “It’s James’s wedding day.”
He looked a little stung, like he’d momentarily forgotten, and now he felt stupid. But then a hardness came over his expression. “I’m sorry about that. But I thought they might like a little notice. I didn’t get to choose.”
“Sure, you did,” Dad said bitterly. “No one put a gun to your head and told you to take this job, or even fill out the application.”
Griffin’s arms folded. “I thought if anyone would understand, you would. You left for a decade.”
Dad let out a long, weary breath. “Good gosh, son, don’t act like I set some kind of example. I left for very different reasons, none of them potentially lethal.”
At the word lethal, Mom broke harder. Dad peeled her off me and pulled her into his arms. “Hey now, Clem,” he murmured. “Don’t cry.” He tucked her against him and pressed a kiss into her hair.
Griffin stared at her like he was shocked by her reaction. I had to say something to get him to stay.
“Can you guys give us a minute?” I asked my parents.
Again, Griffin rolled his eyes.
Mom was crying too uncontrollably to respond, so Dad nodded for both of them and guided her from the room.
When the door shut, I looked at my brother, who I loved more than life. “Man, what are you doing? Can’t you see you’re hurting them?”
His eyes turned cold. “It’s not about them,” he said, like I should know exactly what it was about.
Me.
It was always about me.
“I’ve told you a hundred times,” my voice quavered. “I’m sorry. I haven’t seen or talked to her since the race, just like I promised. I don’t know what else you want me to do.”
“It’s not about Maggie,” he snorted like the idea was ludicrous. And like she’d meant nothing to him. “You actually think I’d relocate because of a stupid girl.”
Yeah. I did. But I didn’t say that. “I’ll go. You stay. I’ll find a job somewhere else.”
He chewed his lip like he was actually considering the trade. My stomach twisted. I didn’t want to leave my family. And I only had one year left in the master’s of architecture program at UVA. But I’d go if it would make things better.
“Nah. You’re a mama’s boy.” He huffed like he wasn’t.
We all were. It was hard not to be with a stellar mom like ours.
“You stay here. Imma go. Give us both some space. I’ll be gone by the time you get home tomorrow.
So this is it. Peace out.” Then, keys jangling in his pocket, he headed for the door.
Panic ripped at my chest like there was a wild animal trapped inside, clawing its way out. “Griff,” I cried, tears escaping. But I couldn’t care about saving face. “I love you. I’m so s-sorry.” I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. “You’re my big brother. I need you. D-don’t do this.”
He whirled back around, gaping.
I faced him, silently crying. “Please. Don’t go.”
He stared at me for a long moment like he couldn’t believe my words. His lips trembled and his eyes welled. He gazed over my shoulder, out the window to the ocean, as if looking at me was too painful.
But then, for the first time in a year, his expression softened. A tear slipped down his cheek. Then another. I wanted to hug him. Just hold on and not let him leave. My muscles screamed for it. But he was stiff. Rigid. Hands balled into fists at his side. And I knew that was a bad idea.
Finally, his wet eyes met mine again—so green they looked like emerald sea glass. “I have to,” he said in a hush. Then he shook his head, erasing that statement. “I need to.” He wiped his cheeks, flicking tears from his hands. He rolled his jaw, trying to get control. “I love you, too.”
Then he turned and walked out the door.
As it closed behind him, I loathed myself. Loathed every quality I possessed that got under his skin. I’d scrape every one of them away until I was a different person if it would make him stay.
But mostly, I loathed the day I ever met Magnolia Wren Hollis.