Chapter 2
Two
NOAH
T he town square of Benton Falls buzzes with excitement as I make my way through the crowd, careful to keep my eyes down as much as possible. The air is thick with the scent of cinnamon from the vendors and chocolate from the baker on the corner that’s pumping out hot cocoa. I clutch my sketchbook to my chest, feeling like an imposter among the cheerful faces surrounding me.
As I near the center of the square, the majestic clock tower looms above, its elegant stone facade a canvas for the play of light and shadow. The intricate carvings seem to dance in the glow of the soft lights illuminating the tower.
I’ve got a good business, a stable life—I can hear my father’s voice in my head—I should be grateful for what I have, not chasing childish dreams of being an artist. The familiar weight of guilt settles in my stomach, as heavy as the snow-laden branches of the nearby trees.
The crowd shifts, and suddenly I have a clear view of the enormous Christmas tree at the heart of the square. It’s a magnificent sight, its branches laden with ornaments that glitter like stars fallen to earth. Tinsel drapes from bough to bough, catching the light and throwing it back in dazzling patterns. For a moment, I’m transported back to my childhood, when everything seemed possible, and the world was full of wonder.
I shake my head, trying to dispel the unwelcome surge of emotion. This is why I don’t usually come to these events. They stir up feelings best left buried.
I came for inspiration, and the tree is full of it. I flip open to a fresh page and make small sketches around the edges. Nothing anyone walking by would be able to decipher, but when I come back to it later, I’ll be able to see it all in my head again.
I tap my pencil on the edge of the notebook. The scene is missing something… it’s missing the people. What would the tree be if it didn’t have a child staring up in wonder?
As I scan the crowd for the right face, the right look of awe, my gaze suddenly locks onto a familiar, beautiful woman, and my breath involuntarily catches in my throat.
Paige Henderson.
Her name comes to mind as if breathed there through the stars in the sky.
I remember her from school, though she was a few years behind me. But that’s not why I recognize her. Her face has graced my computer screen more times than I’d care to admit; her adventures on YouTube and MyHeartChannel are a guilty pleasure I indulge in when the monotony of my life becomes too much.
She’s even more striking in person.
Her long blonde hair cascades down her back, gleaming like spun gold. Her dark, almost navy blue eyes sparkle with excitement, a phone held loosely in one hand. She moves through the crowd with an easy grace, stopping here and there to chat with people or capture a moment on screen. Will she put this up on her channel, or is this just for her?
I am mesmerized by her presence. She embodies everything I’ve tried to convince myself I don’t want—adventure, spontaneity, a life lived to the fullest. Yet here she is, and I can’t take my eyes off of her. I wonder what brought her home, what she sees in this small town that I’ve become blind to.
“No way. Noah?”
I startle at the sound of my name, tearing my gaze away from Paige to find Sam and Alexis standing behind me. Alexis is tucked against Sam’s side, looking up at him as if he rescued her kitten from a tree just moments ago. Sam, for his part, seems to have grown several inches taller, his chest puffed out with pride.
“Hey,” I manage, trying to keep the awkwardness out of my voice. “Are you having a good time?”
Sam’s grin widens. “Sure. Didn’t expect to see you here, though. What changed your mind?”
I shrug, not quite meeting his eyes. “Just thought I’d see what all the fuss was about.”
Sam’s gaze follows the direction I’d been looking moments before, and I feel heat rise to my cheeks. When he looks back at me, there’s a knowing glint in his eye that makes me want to sink into the ground or punch him in the gut.
He looks down at Alexis. “Was Paige Henderson in your grade?”
She nods. “Yeah. Why?”
“I think she’s over there.” He points. I grit my teeth and give him a look that says I will lock him out of the trailer forever if he doesn’t shut up. He gets the point and shrugs an apology.
Alexis has to get up on her tiptoes to see Paige. “She’s so famous now. Have you ever met her?” she asks Sam. He’s the only male on the planet as far as she’s concerned.
And now I’m getting concerned that my part-time employee is going to become a full-time boyfriend this year, and I’ll be forced to live off the instant noodle cups in the back of my pantry until the New Year.
Sam shakes his head. “I must have, but I don’t remember. What about you, Noah?” he turns their attention to me.
“No,” I blurt out, perhaps a bit too forcefully.
“Do you want to? I could introduce you.” Alexis bats her eyelashes at Sam even though she’s talking to me.
Yep. She and Sam are already stupidly happy and wanting the rest of the world to feel that way, too. I’m going to have to avoid him.
“I mean, no thanks.” I jump in. “I’m sure she’s busy. I should probably get going, anyway.”
Before either of them can respond, I mumble a goodbye and turn on my heel, seeking refuge behind the clock tower. My heart is pounding, and I’m not entirely sure why. Officially meeting Paige wouldn’t have been that big of a deal—except it feels like it would have been a very big deal. The biggest of deals.
From my new vantage point, hidden from view, I watch as the mayor takes the stage. She’s all power and grace, a woman made to be in the spotlight. I don’t know how she does it. I see a lot of the same qualities in Paige, and I am starting to wonder how I would sketch that unique trait.
As the countdown begins, I find my gaze drawn to Paige. She’s positioned herself near the front of the crowd, camera at the ready. The excitement on her face is palpable, and, despite myself, I am caught up in her enthusiasm. I can already see the video she’ll post. She shoots in selfie mode, with the action behind her. To some people, it might seem selfish or self-centered, but I see it differently. She shoots that way because she wants to be in the excitement, in the moment, in the adventure. She’s my exact opposite, because I always want to be on the outside of it.
“Three... Two... One...”
The tree blazes to life. Everyone blinks at the sudden flood of light, and then they cheer. The ornaments shimmer and dance, each one a tiny mirror reflecting the joy of the crowd. I sketch a quick mirror in my notebook—what an interesting view for an image of the tree—seeing it in a mirror. Tinsel glitters like icy rivers winding their way through a forest of green. At the top, a star burns bright, a beacon of hope and wonder.
For a moment, I forget about my guilt, my fears, my carefully constructed life of contentment. I forget about everything except the beauty before me and the overwhelming urge to capture it on paper. Without thinking, I begin to draw a full-page picture.
My hand moves of its own accord, rough lines quickly giving way to more detailed renderings. I lose myself in the play of light and shadow, in the expressions of wonder on the faces around me, in the majestic presence of the clock tower overseeing it all. Time slips away, measured only by the gradual filling of the page before me.
It’s only when I hear music floating through the air that I realize the ceremony is coming to an end. I blink, coming back to myself, and look down at what I’ve created. It’s rough and unfinished, but there’s a life to it that I haven’t seen in my work for years. For a brief moment, pride swells in my chest.
I snap the sketchbook shut, shoving it inside my coat and zipping it up as if I could bury my feelings with it. As I emerge from behind the clock tower, I see Paige making her way toward the exit. She’s laughing at something someone has said, her whole face lit up with joy. For a brief moment, our eyes meet across the crowd, and I feel a jolt of... something… life? Living? Recognition? Connection? Whatever it is, it’s gone in an instant as she turns away, disappearing into the sea of people, and I wonder if I’m the only one who felt that.
I stand there, rooted to the spot, watching the space where she vanished. A part of me wants to follow her, to introduce myself, to see if she remembers me from school. But I know I won’t. People like me have no business getting involved with people like Paige. She’s a superstar, living a life of adventure and excitement. And I’m just... me. Regular, reliable Noah.
I make my way out of the town square. The joy and warmth of the ceremony fades with each step. By the time I reach my house, the sketch in my pocket feels like nothing more than a distant dream.
Everything will be back to normal tomorrow. I’ll open the trailer, rent out skates, and be content with my lot in life. Just like always. Just like I should be.
I just need to forget a pair of navy-dark, blue eyes that made me feel alive.