26. Noah
26
NOAH
T he world was spinning.
Where was I even supposed to be?
I frowned and tried to remember what was going on, and it came back slowly. I’d been in a meeting with the band. The whole band, including Lila and Anna, as we’d been going over the itinerary for the rest of the tour. We all knew the cities, of course, but some things had changed–like that the record execs weren’t showing up the way we’d thought they would. Rivers had thought that Taylor was working on it, but he hadn’t had any more information than that.
And I’d been furious that he knew more than I did. After all, I was the one with all the ideas. Why the fuck was he getting the inside scoop from Taylor rather than me? I was on the tour too, and hadn’t been distracted like Rivers.
I didn’t have a new girlfriend.
My thoughts had gone back to Molly at that point, though, and the puppy we’d just found. That charming little scene where we’d been taking care of it, and all the things I’d felt as I looked down at that puppy and then up at the girl helping me doctor him.
The memory of those feelings had driven me right to the bar, and I couldn’t remember how long ago that had been. Or how much I’d had to drink.
There was a bottle in front of me, though, and I reached out to grab it and pour myself another shot. Whiskey. Perfect. I named the puppy Whiskey. When I tipped the bottle to pour my drink, though, I realized the bottle was empty. I called for the bartender, but a voice to my right answered me instead.
“He’s gone, Noah. Left a while ago. And I think you’ve probably had enough to drink.”
I looked in that direction, surprised, and saw Matt sitting next to me. When the hell did Matt get here? I wondered suddenly if I’d been talking aloud rather than thinking, because I had a habit of doing that when I’d had too much to drink.
The look on Matt’s face indicated that I had.
Terrific.
“Matt,” I slurred. “Get fucked.”
Matt’s eyebrows shot up. “In a good mood, I see. Glad I called for reinforcements.”
The shift of his eyes and a light touch on my arm told me that whoever those reinforcements were, they were here. God, I hoped it wasn’t Rivers.
“I see how it is,” a voice in my ear said lightly. “You leave me to take care of the kid while you go to the bar.”
Molly. My eyes closed in something that felt like satisfaction, or maybe affection. Safety. Love. I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t care. If Molly was here, everything was going to be okay.
She spun my bar stool and I saw that she hadn’t come alone. Whiskey was in her arms, squirmy and sleepy, and she handed him to me without a word. I held him up to my face and nuzzled into his fur, feeling even more satisfied.
God, I was becoming a cliche. The girl and my dog had just showed up and suddenly I felt like everything was right in the world. I was losing my mind.
Molly, meanwhile, had slipped her shoulder under my arm and was lifting me off the bar stool. She said something to Matt that sounded suspiciously like she was sharing a joke with him, then helped me get up.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” I told her firmly. “You’re not supposed to be seen in public with me.”
That didn’t sound quite right, but I was counting on her to know exactly what I meant.
She snorted. “It’s the middle of the night and there are no photographers out here. I think we’re safe. Besides, I’ve never left you in a bad way before, and I’m not going to start now.”
I looked down at her, unable to stop myself, and found her staring back at me, her eyes a deeper green than I’d ever seen then and her lips slightly open. Like she was waiting for me to kiss her. I hesitated for a moment, certain that I shouldn’t. This was trouble. She was trouble, and I was going to make everything worse for her. She already had too big a hold on my heart.
But God, I wanted her.
I leaned down, unsteady with whiskey and lack of sleep, and brushed my lips over hers. Just a taste. A whisper of a kiss. Not enough to get us in trouble.
Not enough to satisfy me.
She opened her mouth to me, though, and I was lost. I dove into her, kissing her the way I wanted to, my tongue probing the depths of her as my skin lit on fire. Kissing her was like coming home and flying at the same time, I thought. So beautiful, and yet so dangerous. Black magic and rainbows and–
“God, get a room, you two,” Matt said suddenly from behind me. “No one needs to see that. In fact, I’m going to go upstairs and pretend I didn’t.”
Shit. Matt.
“Matt,” I said quickly, intending to tell him to keep his fat mouth shut.
“Don’t worry,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I don’t know anything. And even if I did, I wouldn’t know anything everyone else doesn’t already know. Your secret’s safe with me.”
I frowned, trying to figure out what the hell he’d just said, but Molly was giggling and pulling me away and I didn’t have the steadiness to stop her. Matt’s double speak would have to wait for tomorrow.
For now, I wanted my bed and my girl and my puppy.
And honestly, I didn’t care if that made me a cliche. Because it felt a whole lot like having a family. And that had always been my fondest dream.
B y the time we got to my room, I was feeling steadier and more sober. Maybe it was the walk, or maybe it was the fact that Molly was chattering away and making my brain turn back on.
“That puppy is a space heater, by the way,” she said. “And he sleeps like a champ. He ate all his dinner. Good idea to have the market deliver food for him. What are you going to do with him when we get back on the road?”
I slid my key into its slot and opened the door to my room. “Take him with us. Obviously.”
She paused, and I could hear her trying to decide which question to ask first. She always had a few. “Think management will be okay with that?”
I made a face at her. “Molly, I’m a star. They’ll let me do whatever I want.”
She made the face back. “Some people say that. I don’t believe it.”
“Neither do I, honestly. And I’d never support it. But I don’t think anyone’s going to argue with me about bringing a puppy. Especially when I have your help.”
She laughed, and by the time we were sitting on the bed, Whiskey between us, we’d already come up with three different ways to smuggle him onto the bus, if we were taking one, or the plane if that was our option. From there we went on to talk about the tour and how disappointed I was that the execs weren’t showing up. She said that Taylor probably had it all handled already, but I shook my head.
“I feel like I already failed.”
“Failed at what?” she asked, taking my hand.
I bit my lip and wondered how much I could tell her. How much did I want to admit? How vulnerable did I actually want to be, here? id already showed Molly more of myself than I’d ever sowed anyone before. She knew me inside and out.
And she’d never walked away.
Except that time she left for LA. But that was ancient history at this point.
“I’m afraid they took one look at what we had to offer and cut out,” I admitted. “Or that they saw me and decided I wasn’t worth the risk.”
God, it was scary to admit that. I didn’t even know I was thinking it until I said it out loud. Now that it was said, though, I couldn’t take it back. I mean I could say I hadn’t meant it, but she’d see right through that. She always did.
Instead of judging, though, she just squeezed my hand. “You’re worth more than you realize, and they’ll see that. Let Taylor work on them. If I know her, she’s already got a plan that will have them crawling on their hands and knees to sign you.”
“She is a witch in woman’s clothing,” I agreed. “Full of magic.”
Molly’s mouth quirked. “Witches don’t need to wear women’s clothing,” she said. Then she leaned in, looking awfully mysterious for a girl I’d known for years. “We’re all witches. We just don’t show it very often.”
I laughed at the mental image that brought on of Molly herself in a tall, pointed hat, riding a broomstick, and before too long she was laughing as well, hers ringing higher and more joyous than my husky tones. Once it died down, though, I could see that she had something serious to ask me.
“What?” I asked. “What’s going on?”
She gave me a one-shouldered shrug. “I don’t like how much things are changing. This whole thing with that man who claims to be my dad, and with the magazine...”
“You don’t think that man is your dad?” I asked.
She met my eyes. “Does it even matter? If he isn’t, he’s just wasting my time. If he is, he left me for twenty-five years before bothering to come around. He claims he didn’t know about me, but how could he not have known? He just woke up one day and his girlfriend was missing for months and he didn’t check on her? And she didn’t tell him anything until this month? It doesn’t feel right.”
I put a finger under her chin and looked deeply into her eyes. “And it’s the thing we always wanted, isn’t it? To find parents? Get out of that orphanage?”
“I already found my family,” she whispered.
I didn’t have to ask to know she meant me and the guys. But we weren’t real family, and if she had a chance to find he real dad...
“Why aren’t you giving this a chance?” I asked.
She paused, like she hadn’t even considered that before, and when she answered, her voice was broken. “I’m afraid he won’t be real. And I’ll just get hurt again. I don’t want to count on someone who already deserted me once.”
I blew out a slow breath at that, because I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t think she was wrong. But I also didn’t think she was right. And I could see how much she wanted to believe he might be her dad... and how much it would kill her if he wasn’t.
Right. New subject.
“Anything else? How’s the job?”
Her face went from sad to doubtful in an instant. And then to crafty. “Actually, now that you bring it up... Noah, I have a favor to ask.”