23 — Catarina Rowedder
“You would know how time flies
Yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised in a summer fog.”
Someone like you — Adele
I can't shake the memory of the “blessed” moment before returning to my desk.
When I got out of the elevator, straight to the presidency floor, I didn't expect to find that sin of a man, there, standing with his back to me, but I had to take a deep breath to avoid stuttering, because the heat was already spreading throughout my body, now I I completely understand my favorite characters.
I had slight suspicions that he had been avoiding me in the last few weeks, at first I was almost sure, and then I found out from Beni that he and Norah had traveled to Greece to resolve company matters. Which made me feel a little calmer.
I don't even know why I think that way, after all, I'm just the girl who needed to be protected, at least that's what I imagined was going on in his head. My heart felt like a rhythmic drum just thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could also be attracted to me.
Obviously now that I know how good it is, I wouldn't mind having something more “deep” and intimate with him.
Oh, I really wouldn't! I feel my face heat up just thinking about it.
Not just my face, my whole body.
— Catarina, how is the resort project going? — I startle and feel even more embarrassed, realizing that the coordinator of my sector is standing in front of my desk, while my face is flushed due to inappropriate thoughts about the company's CEO.
— I just left it with Mr. Foster, he said he would get back to you later. — I avoid saying that he seemed to have a serious problem to solve.
— Jackson Foster?
— No, with his son, Mr. Noah. I was going to leave it in Norah's hands, but she wasn't there and I ended up meeting him.
— Perfect, while we wait for the next instructions, I would like you to plan something he asked me to do. By the way, it looks like he's really enjoying his work.
— I'm happy about that — I thank you. — How can I help you?
— He decided to change the entire presidency room at the last minute; the renovation will begin in a week, next Thursday. His things will be transferred to the legal department, next to Mr. Novak's office, so if you have any questions, you can call that department or send an email.
— All good. Did he give you anything that he had in mind?
— No. He wants you to surprise him. It's in your hands. — he smiles kindly.
I just nod my head in agreement, shocked by the latest information. In my fertile imagination, which at the moment is configured in “teenager in love” mode, I visualize myself decorating my man's living room, however, the voice of reason that lives in my head insists on whispering that he is just giving me a chance, a vote of confidence in my potential.
Did I really say I was in love?
Attracted, for sure, yes in love, I don't think so. It will be?!
The cliché of dreams comes true: The panty—smashing CEO falls madly in love with his employee.
I think I need to get out of this world of books, because I don't know if I can have my cliché in real life.
How not, Catarina?! Just conquer him! — my little devil says.
I need to talk to someone, but I only have two options and Beni is out of the question, so John waits for me. He will have to live up to what he promised me, give me advice.
I sent a message, asking to have a quick snack ready, because I need you to keep me company and I'll be there soon.
I grab my bag and announce that I'm leaving for lunch a few minutes early, but when I arrive at reception, a man who looks like a wall crosses in front of me, preventing me from continuing.
And what have I done now?
— Miss, I'm Adam, one of Mr. Foster's security guards, from today onwards, I will follow you closely — he says in a low voice, so that only I can hear. — We have increased everyone's security, I believe they will inform you at night, at the meeting.
Hey?! Okay, I know about the whole situation, but what the hell happened that there was a meeting about this?
Of course he caught me a little off guard, but I remember that Sarah warned me yesterday that I would have a security guard accompanying me like a shadow, I just didn't know who it would be and so there was no way to introduce myself beforehand, so I can say that I was already expecting That is, if I hadn't completely deleted that information from my head, because I was drooling over the supreme chief's beauty.
— Hi Adam! Sarah had mentioned something above, but I ended up forgetting. — I commented to him. — Yeah… Should I worry even more? — I think about my mother. — Is it because of my mother?
— You can rest assured, everything is fine, just protocol. — Tranquility is the last thing I feel at the moment, because there are a lot of things happening at the same time.
— Okay, Adam. — I shake my head smiling, if I'm to be safe, I won't create problems with this.
— Don't worry, you won't even notice my presence. — he says kindly.
How does anyone not notice a giant man like him?!
— Look, you're huge, it's hard not to notice. — river. — And what will it be like? Will you have lunch with me? Because, like, I need love advice and I hope John will do that. Do you know who it is? The guy from House Beer? Well, since it has to do with your boss, I don't think it's a good thing, right? — I drop everything at once and realize that I have, once again, said too much. Me and my loose tongue, which appears when nervousness arises.
A nervousness because I want to know if John will help me.
My God, what a shame! I should have controlled myself, but now be patient, at least he got to know a part of me that comes out from time to time.
— Let him advise you, miss. — Gives a knowing wink. — And about who it is, I swear I didn't hear anything.
— So, let's go. I'm sorry, when I get nervous I end up talking too much.
— I understand, it doesn't have to be like this. I'm generally very closed off, but if you need to talk, I'll be here.
— Since you're going to be my shadow, I won't rule out the option if I need to clear up some doubts. — I get a shy smile from him.
We continued to the pub, practically strangers. He accompanies me from afar, instead of walking beside me. Something about protocols and not highlighting the fact that you are under protection. I already suspected that someone was taking care of my safety, but Adam was the first to introduce himself. With everything that was happening, I knew that Thomaz wouldn't let his guard down.
— Hey beautiful! What good smells bring you here?
— John! — I pat him on the shoulder. — Wouldn't it be, what good winds?
— I adapted! — He shrugs, making me laugh and I realize that there really wasn't any strange atmosphere between us.
— Come, I left our table ready. — He literally drags me to her. — I want to know what's going on in that little head there. From what I know of you, I know that the gears are working at full speed.
— So, men like good gossip too? — It's impossible not to laugh, because curiosity is written all over your face.
— I just want to know how urgent it is, that’s all. — blinks.
— Next, I can't talk to Urs?o, because it has to do with a friend of his and I'm afraid of the reaction that this will provoke in him, after telling him that I wasn't so innocent anymore, I thought that closet was going to faint. . — I laugh, remembering the scene.
— I don't believe it! Did you tell us about the two of us? — John looks incredulous.
— I told him, he said that as an older brother, he wanted to know. Of course I left out the sordid details, it's too much for him. Even so, his face lost color. I don't know what was going on in his head, he probably imagined that I would get married as a virgin.
— It's quite possible, Nina. Even more so having you as a little sister.
— Yes. But let's get to what brought me to this mini secret meeting, with my love advisor. — He widens his eyes. — Ah, that's the nickname I gave you. You said you would clear all my doubts, well, our love therapy session is about to begin. Prepared?
— By God, Nina! What drama is this?
— It's not a drama. Okay, I'm not going to beat around the bush because my time is short. Next, I have an attraction the size of the world for someone at my work.
— Noah or Gael?
— First option, I don’t even know who Gael is. — I responded. — Wait, how do you know? It could be Xerox's little uncle or someone like that.
— I kicked, that’s all. — Smile. — Continues.
— Okay, I'll tell you what I've felt since we met, and then you can tell me if I'm in love or not. That's what I do. — So, I tell you the whole saga, from the first collision. — And there?
— And then, the chances of you falling in love are high and that it was, indeed, the right thing to decide that we wouldn't have any more first times. Noah is a cool guy, I admire him. If he is avoiding you, I believe it is because he has deduced that you have something with the military.
— Beni and me?! — I look at him in disbelief.
— Uhm. Believe me, out of that whole group, the two are the ones who have known each other the longest and Noah's character doesn't allow him to betray his friend.
— What beautiful rubbish! Tell me something, you men, don't you know how to ask, instead of making deductions?
— You said it right, we don’t know. Unfortunately, we came with this factory defect that only gets worse, before we understand that love has arrived. Of course, I'm not generalizing, but we always end up doing something stupid. — Smile.
— John! Returning to the focus of the subject, I don't know how to draw his attention to me. Of course, I started dressing in a more femme fatale style, but I don't know if it works, he seems so experienced. Damn it!
— Nina, if he's attracted, which, based on the attitudes you mentioned, makes me believe that he is, he'll soon be into you. The first step is for him to get it out of his head that you are already committed.
— I get there and say: “hi, boss, just for the record, Big Bear and I don’t have anything, can we both leave now?”, how am I going to do that, John?
— Stop, Catarina. — He says laughing. — Let's work out something not so direct. — He takes a sip of water and continues: — Then, you have to control your brother from the scare he will get if he finds out that you are getting involved with his friend. At least, I would definitely have a problem if I had a beautiful sister like that and knew that my best friend was making out with her.
— Making out? No! I want everything, have you seen that ass? Compassion! And that panty—wetting smile? Mine is destroyed. — Just imagining it makes my intimacy moisten.
Our lady with wet panties, help me!
— Beautiful, no details and no, the last thing I'm going to do is notice a guy's ass. For God's sake, girl!
— It's OK. Just one more question. Do you know the handsome guy because he has lunch here too?
— Yes and no. In fact, he and his friends come more at night, for happy hour.
— Interesting.
— What are you planning?
—Nothing at all — I lied, because my head already has the whole plan drawn up to accidentally bump into him — I just replied.
— I know, I learned not to question girls who go out without panties on the first date. — Joke.
— Ugh... Won't you ever forget that? It was just a tactic, informed by my excellent cyber friend called Google. — We burst into laughter. — Well, lunch was great, but I need to go back now.
— All good. — We hugged. — See you tomorrow. Who knows, maybe he'll come with Beni at night?
— Does it help me? — I do my best Shrek kitten expression.
— Yes. Now go. See you tomorrow Beauty.
— I adore you!
After saying goodbye, I follow my shadow back to work. My head starts to do pirouettes, thinking about how I'm going to convince the Bear to take me along. Damn it! If I had at least one female friend, I could use the excuse of meeting her.
Wait a minute... That's when a beautiful idea appears!
AND THAT! — I scream mentally. — I am a genius.
— Miss?
— Sorry, wall. I forgot you.
— The aim is not to notice my presence. — He shrugs. — I will wait for you here at reception to accompany you at the end of the day.
— OK until later!
Well, come on, girl.
I will get it right! I make the call as I walk towards my sector. Praying that she answers me.
— Hello? — damn, she answered.
— Hi. This is Catarina, how are you? — shyness, now is not the time for you to appear.
— Hi, Nina! It's fine with me, yes, and you? Something happened? — I notice your concern.
— No. I mean, I'm fine and no, nothing happened, I don't think.
— Good. So what do I owe your call to?
— I wanted to… Actually, I want to go to happy hour tomorrow. Remember the guy I told you about, the one I have a crush on?
— I remember. — I hear your laugh. — Quedinha wouldn't be the word, but ok. Develop further, what's with this happy hour?
— True. Next, I'd like to go out at night, go to that pub I've already mentioned to you a few times, but I don't have any friends to invite and if I plan to go with Benício, it'll be a big deal. — Sigh. — Okay, I'm stalling too much. Do you want to go with me to House Beer tomorrow?
— Is this an invitation to be friends, too? If so, yes I accept. I've been wanting to visit this pub for a while now, I heard the owner is amazing.
— He certainly is. And it's available, you know?
— I loved it. Tell me your address and the time you plan to go. If you feel comfortable, we can get ready together, too.
— Perfect, I'll send you a message and thank you for everything! Now, I'm going to work, see you tomorrow.
— See you, Nina.
Ufa! It wasn't that difficult, she's interested in John and that's really good. I believe that soon, I can find out if I have cupid's gifts, since it's a shame to help myself.
My afternoon flies by, and the last thing I can think about is renovating the panty destroyer's room. My thoughts revolved more around being without panties, with him, in that room.
It's a fact, I'm not normal, no.
Already on the way home, I find myself thinking if I've gotten over some things in my past too quickly. However, in one of the sessions I had with Dr. Lynn, I asked her about this and she told me that it's okay, people differ from each other, some dwell on it for longer, while others move on, because life doesn't stop. , it all depends on the path each person wants to follow.
We need to accept and work on our emotions, enjoying the present and dreaming about the future.
— We're here, miss. — Adam takes me out of my thoughts.
— Adam, where are we? Because, I tell you, either your GPS has a problem, or I moved and no one informed me. — Small detail, Adam, in addition to security, he is my driver and I discovered the news as soon as we left the company.
— No problem, I thought you knew about the meeting at Mr. Foster's house.
— Hey? Foster? Foster, my boss? Damn it…
He states and clears his throat, trying unsuccessfully to hide his amusement at my nervousness. We get out of the car at the same moment and as soon as he stops next to me, I turn towards him.
— Wall, are you really sure? Because it's okay, I went to ask for advice about that beautiful and wonderful panty—killing god who is probably also your boss. — He starts to nod his head, however, I don't care — but would it be difficult to tell me that we would come, precisely, to this magnificent place, which he calls home? Look at my condition, how am I going to make the impression I want? You know that feeling like “hey, I'm up for it” — I'm interrupted when I hear someone clear their throat next to us.
Holy shit! Let it not be him, let it not be him!
— Goodnight! — I hear that voice that warms me all inside, but I don't move.
— Sir, I brought you as you asked me. I'll wait in the monitoring room.
— Okay, Adam. Thanks. — My companion moves away. — Catarina, you can turn around. To answer your question, you are perfect, as always — he whispers, before I actually turn around.
I wish a crater would open up right now, so I could stick my head inside, so ashamed am I.
I can't run either. What rubbish!
Breathe.
Inspire.
Don't freak out.
The way to do it is to lift my head and face the situation, however, nothing would prepare me for such perfection.
Damn, did he have to be shirtless, and on top of that with a towel around his neck? I look down, admiring his well—defined abdomen with a few drops of sweat dripping down and, involuntarily, I run my tongue across my lips, imagining the taste.
If that wasn't enough, my mind starts to project countless naughty things, while I continue drooling over this masterpiece of a man.
— Catarina? — Filth! I think I gave too much away. — I think we better go in, everyone should already be waiting for us.
— Uh, you can come in… Damn! Sorry, yes we will.
Me and that unfiltered tongue of mine, I almost didn't say he could go all the way inside me. He gives me a sideways smile, and for a moment, I wonder what's going on in his head.
It could be the same as me, I swear, I really would be very happy!
Better forget about it. It's impossible.
As we walk side by side, towards the front door, I think about how much I have changed in so few months.
Life is wonderful when we begin to free ourselves from the ties that hold us back. I'm really lucky to have incredible people around. For a girl who has lived as a recluse for a long time, I'm doing pretty well. As Dr. Lynn told me during one of the consultations:
“Positive thoughts attract good things. We all have our moments of weakness and insecurity, however, it is all part of our maturity. If it were easy, we wouldn’t live so intensely.”
— It's good to see you smiling. — There he is, staring at me in front of the door.
— Thanks. Only thinking about good things — I respond, softly.
— Welcome to my home. — Open the door, signaling for me to go through first. — I hope you return in better times than what we will have today, the issues to be discussed are not at all pleasant.
— I also hope. — Preferably, kissing you. Complete mentally.
We enter and head to a room that immediately takes my breath away. For a moment, I forget what I came here to do and allow myself to observe every detail of the place, which awakens my passion for architecture and decoration even more.
I see some photos on top of the fireplace, however, there are none of him as a baby, nor with his mother, just father and son and the oldest seems to be Noah when he is ten years old, more or less.
Strange.
As a good reader, theories are already starting to form in my head.
— Boy, go wear a t—shirt, where have you seen it before?
I can not believe it! I know that voice. I turn quickly in that direction and there it is!
— Yolanda! And you? I don't believe! — I run to meet him, but when I stop next to him, I notice that he starts to analyze me, so I remember the wig and take it off immediately.
— Catarina, my love! — I feel your love, through the hug that I missed so much. — How beautiful you are. — A few tears fell down her face. — I prayed so much for you to leave that place, but I couldn't imagine seeing you here!
— Not wanting to disturb the exciting moment… — We ended up forgetting that there was anyone else in the room. — Do you already know each other? — I look at his confused expression.
— Oh, I took care of her since she was just a baby, she's like a daughter to me. — She looks at me. — I missed it so much, especially our afternoons in Central Park.
— Thank you for those afternoons, Iaiá. — I hear Noah murmur with a lost look. — If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back.
— I didn't understand what the boy meant, but let it go. Let's talk. — She takes me to the couch.
We talked for a while and Iolanda told me that she came to the Fosters' house after being fired by Otávio in a very unfriendly way. My posture stiffens for a moment as she tells me about him, but I calm down when she says he didn't hurt her.
I'm not surprised the moment she says she also suspects he was taking from our house everyone who could help us.
Greedy son of a bitch!
Hatred. That's how I feel about that bastard.
The fear turned into pure hatred for everything that the bastard did to my family.
I know that I still can't face it and wouldn't even have the capacity to do so, because I'm not free from all the panic that has infiltrated my body.
But if I could, I would kill him.