Chapter 11
As Miss Bennet’s extensive response to his offer reached its conclusion, Darcy latched onto the most tangible part, which was counting days since they had met as he struggled to make sense of the rest. Not that Miss Bennet was being irrational.
On the contrary. Her arguments were most compelling.
Too compelling, if anything. It was just that the main direction of her response escaped him.
He watched, fascinated, as she reached her final and tenth point, marking it with her fingers.
Still, he could not see the forest for the trees. He was lost, because she could not possibly be saying what he thought she was saying.
Was she refusing him?
It seemed so unlikely, he had to stop and allow his mind to catch up. It must be the case. Why else would she give him a list of ten reasons? Still, it took some time for what she said to sink in.
Miss Bennet was rejecting his offer.
Somehow, he managed to keep up his end of the conversation, but he hardly knew what they were discussing. Then, when she offered him her hand to bid him farewell, the fog dissolved and it all became crystal clear.
One sentence summarized it. Miss Bennet did not want to be his wife.
Darcy bowed and left the room. He stepped outside the parlor where he had made his ill-advised marriage offer and closed the door, slowly and deliberately, struggling against a bewildering cascade of feelings.
He was dazed by the unexpected turn of events, but he drew himself to his full height and gave himself a moment to retrieve his composure.
Not a moment too soon. Footsteps approached.
He supposed it was up to him to communicate the news to her aunt and uncle, who were undoubtedly expecting to offer their good wishes.
It was embarrassing to disappoint them, but it was hardly his fault.
His conscience had driven him to make the offer, and he had done what he needed to do.
He turned to face the Gardiners. Something in his expression must have given him away, because the bright smiles faded. Mrs. Gardiner looked dismayed.
“Am I to assume my niece has turned you down, Mr. Darcy?” she asked.
Darcy nodded.
“I am sorry to hear it,” she said, looking towards the closed door. “Perhaps I had better go in and speak to my niece.”
She opened the door and disappeared into the parlor, closing the door behind her. He would have liked to eavesdrop on the conversation, but he was left alone to face Mr. Gardiner, who was looking displeased.
“Well, this is unexpected,” said Mr. Gardiner, examining him shrewdly.
It certainly was. That much they could agree on.
“May I ask what transpired?”
“I believe your niece may be better qualified to give you an answer,” said Darcy. He squirmed under Mr. Gardiner’s gaze, feeling a troubling hint of guilt. She had explained her reasons very clearly, and he could not fault her for them. Why, then, was he reacting as if he had done something wrong?
“Well, Miss Bennet turned me down,” he added, stiffly. “There is nothing I can do about it. I did the honorable thing.”.
Mr. Gardiner regarded him severely. “If your proposal was as half-hearted as your attitude, Mr. Darcy, no wonder she turned you down.”
Darcy stared at Mr. Gardiner. Was he lecturing him? Not since his father was alive had he received such a dressing-down. He felt like a schoolboy being taken to task by a schoolmaster. Did no one in this family realize how much of a sacrifice he was making to rescue Miss Bennet from scandal?
“Well, sir,” said Darcy, tight-lipped. “I had thought Miss Bennet’s situation required immediate action. If I had known a polished speech was required, I would have taken my time to prepare one,” he remarked with a mixture of sarcasm, and vexation. “I see I was mistaken. Good day to you, sir.”
He bowed and departed hastily, before he said something unforgiveable. The butler handed Darcy his hat and sent a boy running to the mews for the carriage.
As he walked down the steps, he was still wrestling with the implications. Something inconceivable had happened. Of all the possibilities in the world, he would never have imagined this one.
He could still scarcely believe it. Miss Bennet had spurned him! Politely, and in a calm and logical manner, true, but the result was the same. It was a slap in the face, a kick in the teeth, and an affront to his dignity.
How could she have done such a thing?
He had the noblest intentions. His conduct throughout had been exemplary.
He had, for her sake, chosen to overlook her unfortunate connections to trade.
He had magnanimously disregarded her unsuitability to the position of presiding over Pemberley.
She was facing complete ruin. He was here to rescue her, as he had rescued her cousin.
He had graciously offered to overlook all these points against her.
Was that not enough? What did she expect?
A strong declaration of love? He could not pretend that he cared for her when he did not.
He would not dissemble. It would be pitiful indeed to base their marriage on illusions and unrealistic expectations.
And then, to have accused him of arrogance!
Did she have no idea of his position in society?
Of a family history extending back centuries?
In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he marveled at his forbearance.
Most men of his consequence would barely have acknowledged the niece of a tradesman, much less proposed to her.
His cousin Richard already thought of Darcy’s proposal as the ultimate folly.
His uncle, Lord Matlock, would have expressed his outrage even more forcefully.
As for his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, she would have called for her smelling salts and claimed that he was polluting the shades of Pemberley by even considering marriage to such upstart.
He felt angry and insulted. He had been unfairly treated, considering his generosity in overlooking the disadvantages of the match.
Darcy ordered the coachman to drive in the opposite direction from his home. His thoughts were too jumbled for him to return to the watchful eyes of his valet, nor did he want to see his sister. He was in no mood to interact with anyone.
He needed time to come to terms with the fact that a young lady of very little consequence had refused to marry him.
Elizabeth struggled to come to terms with the extraordinary events that had taken place, but she did not have a moment to herself.
Mrs. Gardiner came in just after Mr. Darcy left and sat next to Elizabeth on the sofa. “Mr. Darcy has given us the news, but I would like to hear all about it from you.”
Elizabeth did her best to tell the sorry tale, but her account was somewhat muddled. Her mind was awash with conflicting emotions. She wanted to burst into tears and rail against fate, yet at the same time, she was filled with amazement. Mr. Darcy had asked her to marry him!
“I still do not understand,” said her aunt, when Elizabeth finished. “Why did you turn him down? Do you hate the man? You never gave any indication of it when he last came to visit.”
“Hate him? Of course not!” said Elizabeth. “Why would I? He has been nothing but kind.”
“Then why do you not wish to marry him?”
Elizabeth sighed. “Because everything he said pointed to one thing. He considers this match beneath him.”
“Well, he is not wrong,” said her aunt, in a reasonable voice. “Pemberley is a very grand estate. Few estates in the country are its equal.”
Elizabeth had already suspected it, but her aunt’s words were the confirmation she needed.
“That is exactly the problem. If he is so very important, then most people are beneath him. His choice of a bride must inevitably be limited to a very small group of ladies.”
“But he has already chosen his bride, Lizzy. You are the one he wants to marry.”
“Not by choice,” Elizabeth pointed out.
Just then, the door opened and Mr. Gardiner came in.
Elizabeth shut her eyes, bracing for the confrontation.
“Now, then, Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” said her uncle. “It is no use pretending to be asleep. What was all that about?”
She opened her eyes to find Mr. Gardiner standing right in front of her. He looked more severe than Elizabeth had ever seen him. His expression resembled Mama’s when she was determined to make Elizabeth do something she did not like. This did not bode well.
“I am not pretending to sleep. I am simply preparing myself for a heated discussion.”
Her uncle took out his pocket watch, glanced at it, and sighed loudly.
“There is not much to discuss, is there? You have no foot to stand on, young lady. Mr. Darcy is everything that is honorable and noble. He is well-to-do, comes from a good family, and is handsome. I find it incomprehensible that you would say no.”
Mrs. Gardiner nodded in agreement. After all, the Gardiners owed Mr. Darcy their daughter’s life, and they could never deny him anything.
“I am not saying he is not. He is clearly a gentleman in every meaning of the word. But the reality is, Mr. Darcy does not want to marry me.”
Mrs. Gardiner patted her on the knee. “Did he say it, Lizzy? In so many words?”
“He gave me exactly ten reasons he should not marry me. He had a whole list of reasons why he thought it a bad idea.”
“Anyone would be lucky to marry you, Lizzy,” said her aunt firmly. “Never mind what he said. What matters is that he is willing to do it.”
“He is not willing to do it. He is obliged to do it. Those are two very different things.”
“No one is holding a shotgun to his head, Lizzy,” remarked Mr. Gardiner. “He is a grown man, and he is perfectly capable of making up his own mind.”
“Look. I do appreciate that he is willing to marry me, even when it is against his interest to do so. But it would be kinder for me to release him from the belief that he needs to save me. You must not forget, I am the one that benefits from this marriage, not him.”