Chapter 14
The theater was very crowded, as it always was when it was Kemble’s first performance of the season. Darcy and Colonel Fitwilliam had to wait in a queue to hand over their overcoats and hats. It was a testament to Mr. Kemble’s popularity.
Mr. Darcy was trying not to dwell on his encounter with Lord Morrison. He looked around him, seeking something to distract him. His gaze went to the beginning of the queue. There, to his complete astonishment, stood a familiar figure. He froze. It could not be! Were his eyes deceiving him?
There could be no doubt about it. Miss Bennet was handing a familiar green spencer to a footman.
Darcy’s heart faltered, then began to thump wildly. His throat felt parched. Meanwhile, she was blissfully unaware of his presence. He willed her to turn around and notice him, but then she was joined by the Gardiners and a young man, and they moved together into the theater.
Darcy drew a shaky breath. “Richard, the young lady in the green gown just passing through the door is Miss Bennet. Come with me. Let me introduce you.”
“Have you lost your mind, Darcy? Have you learned nothing all these years about how to behave in Society?” The colonel gripped Dary’s arm, hard.
“You must not speak to her. You must not mention her name. You must not so much as glance in her direction. If you do any of these things, you will draw everyone’s attention to her.
Is that what you wish? Someone will notice, and they will recognize her, and the game will be up. ”
Darcy stood there, stunned. Richard was right.
Darcy had already uttered her name. He looked around him, wondering if anyone had heard him.
Fortunately, there was no sign of Lord Morrison and his crowd.
As for Richard’s other words advice, it would be impossible for him not to look in her direction.
She looked ravishing, and he was like a moth to the flame.
“You are asking the impossible of me. I had better leave.”
“You cannot leave, either. That, too, may raise questions. Confound it, Darcy, surely you have some shreds of discipline. Just put on that forbidding expression of yours and pretend she is not here.”
“You do not know what you are asking.”
“I know exactly what I am asking. Do you think I have never had an infatuation for a young lady? Though I must say it is rather amusing to suffer from Cupid’s arrows.
Just remember, if you care for her, you will not give her away.
Control your expression. Keep a blank face.
Look arrogant and condescending, which should not be too hard for you. ”
They had to elbow their way through the groups of people gathered in the foyer. Darcy kept his eyes directed towards the stage.
“Yes, they have taken up a box almost opposite us,” replied his cousin. “And I grant you. She is as pretty as you described her. I see now why they called her a siren.”
Darcy was pleased to hear his cousin praise Miss Bennet. Of course, it did not necessarily mean he approved of any marriage between them, but at least he was not objecting quite as strongly as before. Perhaps it was a sign that they were both here at the same time. Darcy’s spirits lightened.
Not for long. It seemed like the hand of fate had favored him, then taken it all away. Darcy had been given the chance to encounter Miss Bennet, then he was handed a blindfold and told not to look. It was as if fate was toying with him.
Though the fact that she was here was nothing short of a miracle.
He had never expected she would be attending.
He had been taken completely by surprise.
Once again, he had allowed his notions of those in trade to influence his expectations.
He was ashamed. Anyone who spoke to Mr. Gardiner could tell that he was an educated man.
Yet it had not crossed Darcy’s mind that the Gardiners would have their own box at the theater.
“Oh, hello! Look at that,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam, suddenly. “She did not come alone.”
“Well, of course not, Richard,” said Darcy, “She is a single young lady. She is with her aunt and uncle.”
“Hush,” said the colonel, exasperated. “Keep your voice down. Must you announce it to the world? And I was not talking about her relatives. There is a handsome young gentleman accompanying her, and she seems to know him well.”
This was the second earthquake of the evening, and Darcy felt disoriented as the ground shifted beneath his feet.
What was this? Who was that young man? How long had she known him?
Why had he never considered this possibility?
Miss Bennet had not mentioned in her ten points that her affections were engaged elsewhere.
Consequently, he had never taken it into account.
It would certainly explain why she rejected him. But surely Mr. Gardiner would have warned him, if that was the case?
“What does he look like? Did you say handsome? Describe him,” said Darcy, the words like thorns in his throat.
The fact that he had to rely on his cousin to tell him what was happening was maddening.
Darcy had no choice but to sit there like a rock, staring fixedly at the stage as if his life depended on it.
It was agony.
“Yes, he is handsome. He has sandy hair and a pleasant countenance. He seems to enjoy talking and laughing.”
Darcy took an immense dislike to him. Knowing that Miss Bennet liked to laugh, he was overcome by an irresistible impulse to march over, pull her into his arms and take her away from any young man who tried to win her.
The effort required to fight that impulse and stay in his seat was exhausting and physically painful. His jaw hurt from grinding his teeth and his head felt like a hollow drum that had been struck repeatedly. By the time the intermission came, he could not endure it any more.
“If I stay here a second longer,” Darcy warned his cousin, “I will not be responsible for the consequences.”
“Then by all means let us leave before you do something unforgivable.”
Just before the performance began, Elizabeth spotted Mr. Darcy as he took his seat. He was with another gentleman, one whose manners seemed more relaxed than Darcy’s, but who had an unmistakable air of command. He must be an officer, she decided.
Darcy had not seen her yet. She waited for him to turn his head and notice her, trying to decide how to behave when he did. Should she wave to him in a friendly manner, or should she just give him a small nod, then wait until he came over to their box to greet her?
She needed to consult her aunt. “Mr. Darcy is here,” she said, in a half-whisper. “Should I be very friendly, or should I be guarded in my interaction with him?
“You should not look in his direction at all,” said her aunt.
“You rejected him. It is up to him whether he wishes to approach you or not. He may not wish to speak to you. Besides,” added Mrs. Gardiner, “Your uncle invited Mr. Millett to distract you from this whole business. Please try to pay him some attention. He really is very amiable.”
Elizabeth nodded happily. There would be enough time to talk to Mr. Darcy later. For now, she wanted to enjoy the play, and Mr. Millett was easy to talk to.
“I know,” she remarked, “It was just unexpected to see him.”
She would wait patiently until the intermission.
She tried in vain to catch his eye, but it was a hopeless enterprise.
He seemed so severe and formal that she hardly recognized him.
Who was the gentleman that was with him.
Was he one of Darcy’s infamous relations?
If that was the case, it might explain why Darcy was avoiding eye contact.
It seemed like hours before the intermission was announced. She did her best to concentrate on the performance. She laughed and joked with Mr. Millett as well as her aunt and uncle. But she was far more interested in watching Darcy and his relative from the corner of his eye.
At the intermission, Mr. Darcy stood up and started walking. Elizabeth shivered in anticipation, imagining the moment he would enter their box. She tried her best not to keep looking back to see if he was coming.
But as time passed, and Mr. Darcy did not come, Elizabeth’s anticipation turned to disquiet. Where was he? He must have encountered some of his acquaintances along the way, or he was caught up with something else. Any moment now, he would make an appearance.
It was not until the curtains came up and the second part of the program began that the truth dawned on her. The box he was sitting in was empty. He had left the theater during the intermission!
All the time, she had been waiting for him, while he had already left! She had expected him to arrive any minute, when he had no intention of talking to her at all.
Somehow, she had sunnily thought that Mr. Darcy would not hold a grudge if she refused him. All evidence now pointed to the contrary. It was very clear that he had taken it as a personal insult, and that he had no intention of having anything to do with her, ever again.
Her conclusion cast her into dejection. She leaned forward on the edge of the balcony, her elbows on the gilded wood, pretending to be engrossed in the play. But her eyes were blurred with tears, and she could barely make out the figures on the stage.
She brushed the tears away. She did not want to ruin the evening for everyone. It seemed forever until the play was finally over, and she was able to return with the Gardiners to their home. All Elizabeth wanted to do was hide herself in a dark corner and nurse her regrets.
When they reached home, Mr. Gardiner left the two ladies and went to have a drink in the library. Mrs. Gardiner ordered refreshments to be brought to the parlor, and asked Elizabeth to join her.
“I see that you are upset that Mr. Darcy did not come to see you in our box,” remarked Mrs. Gardiner. “You do not know his reasons. I do not think you should jump to any hasty conclusions.”
“It was not only that he did not come to our box. He did not look in my direction a single time. Not once!”
“You hurt his pride, Lizzy,” said Mrs. Gardiner, gently. “It could be that he did not take it well. But perhaps there is some other explanation. Something may have happened, and he may have been forced to leave urgently.”
“Or perhaps he is simply ashamed to acknowledge my existence in front of others.” Her voice wobbled.
“This is nothing more than speculation.”
“What other reasons could there be?
“Maybe he did not expect to see you again and did not know quite what to do.”
Elizabeth snorted. “Mr. Darcy? At a loss? I very much doubt it.” The very idea was laughable. “No, you must admit it, Aunt. The explanation is simple. He is angry, and he is avoiding me.”
“That may be the case, or it may not. We have no idea what his reasons are, and until we know for certain that is the case, there is no point in fretting about it.”
“You say that as if there is a way of confirming this. How do you expect to find out, when it is unlikely we will ever meet?”
Her words brought with them a cold wave of despair. How could she endure never speaking to him again? It was all very well to try and be noble and sacrifice her happiness for him, but she had not imagined it would be so painful.
It was not until this moment that she had understood herself. Now, she could no longer deny it. She was in love with Mr. Darcy, and the idea of never seeing him was breaking her heart.
“I am in love with him,” she whispered to her aunt. “What am I to do?”
Mrs. Gardiner gave her a fierce hug.
“Before you surrender to melancholy, let us see if there is a way to salvage all this.”
Elizabeth raised her head and took out her handkerchief. Her aunt’s words gave her some hope. She wanted to believe it was possible. “You think we can? How can that be, when he made it clear he did not want to see me?”
“I cannot promise anything,” said Mrs. Gardiner. “I am just asking you to give it a bit more time. I believe I have a cunning plan that will help.”