Chapter 23 Awakening #2
No, he would pay her a sum of money, not acknowledge his own child, and require her to disappear discreetly.
But what had he said to her? Hurting you is the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do.
In her heart, she did not believe Michael could actually do such a thing, but people had disappointed her in the past.
She did not care to give another person such an opportunity to fail her. No, Lilly decided adamantly, if she were enceinte, she would find a way to hide it until she could go away.
And grow her own damn garden, thank you!
All these thoughts were ludicrous at this point.
But what if she could go away on her own?
She would need an income that would provide for either the purchase or rent of a small cottage, enough for living, and perhaps enough to retain a housekeeper. It would not be an unheard-of amount.
She would not have to see Michael—on holidays, at family gatherings—with his wife…his children…She could avoid all that.
Hope rose inside her. Hope that she could take some control of her life and refuse to be manipulated by others again. Even though she could not possibly be with child, she began to form a plan. For regardless, she would not allow herself to wallow in self-pity while Michael married his bride.
She would be far away.
And eventually the pain would recede.
Later that afternoon, the first part of Lilly’s plan began to take shape.
Thick dark clouds had moved over London, and a heavy drizzle had fallen for several hours.
What with the garden party they had planned upon attending cancelled, Lilly, Glenda, and her aunt spent the afternoon reading a novel they had begun earlier that week.
Lilly read out loud as her aunt appeared to be dozing but would ask an occasional question disproving such, and Glenda worked furiously on a new design she was embroidering upon a handkerchief for Joseph.
The reading was interrupted when Jarvis entered the room and asked if Lady Sheffield and Lady Beauchamp would receive a call from Mr. Joseph Spencer. Lilly and her aunt glanced at one another with raised eyebrows. And then they both looked over at Glenda who was blushing profusely.
Lady Sheffield responded, “Glenda, make yourself scarce, gel. Jarvis, have him await us in the drawing room.”
Embroidery forgotten, Glenda sprinted off to her room to change into a more flattering gown and repair her appearance. Lilly placed the book face down on a side table and addressed her aunt.
“Aunt, do you know anything of marriage contracts?”
Lady Eleanor considered the question for a moment and then answered surprisingly, “You’ve figured out that you ought to include a competence for your own future?
I have been meaning to suggest this to you.
The Spencers are one of the richest families in all of England.
There is no reason you ought not to be included in the provisions.
“Ravensdale will, no doubt, have the contract drawn up by his man of business, but we can have my solicitor look it over as well. Knowing the family, I am reasonably certain an annuity will be included in the first draft, but if not, we will have it added. You ought never be concerned for your welfare again, my dear.”
It couldn’t possibly be that easy! Lilly nearly put her face into her hands and cried in relief.
She did not, however. Instead, after waiting quietly for several minutes, the two women eventually rose calmly and proceeded to the drawing room to meet with the prospective groom. They caught him pacing back and forth.
It was all, really, rather charming, Lilly thought, as Mr. Spencer very formally asked them permission to propose to dear, sweet Miss Beauchamp. He had not planned upon finding a wife this early in life, he stated, for he was only four-and-twenty, but love apparently had been unaware of his plans.
Lilly, acting as guardian to Glenda, put him out of his misery quickly, stating that the couple had her blessing.
“Assuming the marriage contracts are satisfactory,” Lady Eleanor had added.
“Of course, of course,” he agreed.
“And,” Lilly added with a smile, “assuming the lady herself agrees.” This important consideration ought not to be overlooked.
It was the most important one of all.
Rising to her feet, Lilly said, “I shall fetch Miss Beauchamp so you may ask her yourself.”
Her aunt stood as well. “The door will remain open,” Aunt Eleanor said, “and we shall, of course, be eavesdropping from the other side.”
Lilly rolled her eyes at Mr. Spencer, and they left him alone.
After Glenda had breathlessly accepted Mr. Spencer’s marriage proposal, over the next couple of weeks, the mood in Lady Eleanor’s household turned decidedly festive.
Lady Eleanor had, in fact, invited her personal solicitor to explain the contracts to the two women.
The Ravensdales had included a generous competence for Lilly of one thousand pounds per year!
Lilly had been about to object, saying it was too much, but Lady Eleanor’s scowl deterred her.
Upon later consideration, Lilly decided, if she was carrying, it would be best to have additional funds to provide for her child.
Lilly’s heart jumped at the thought. She expected her courses any day now and awoke each morning with dread.
As of yet nothing had occurred.
A part of her was terrified at the thought of going through confinement, childbirth, and motherhood alone. Another part of her embraced the possibility wholeheartedly. Not knowing either way, at this point, was excruciating.
Despite the numerous events the ladies had been attending, Lilly had found no opportunity to see, let alone, speak with Michael. He’d made very short appearances socially, if at all.
But tonight, she knew, he would be present.
Tonight, the Earl of Ravensdale had insisted upon holding a ball so he could announce the betrothal of his youngest son to Miss Glenda Beauchamp.
The family had been longtime friends with Aunt Eleanor and were quite pleased with the match.
Glenda was, after all, the daughter of a baron.
She was also a very pleasant young lady with whom their son had found love.
Michael would most certainly be in attendance. He was practically one of the family, after all.
Michael had been busy himself.
Throughout the fortnight, he’d successfully obtained promises for two of the three votes needed.
He’d also met with an American industrialist promoting machinery which could decrease the labor required for both planting and reaping.
Interchangeable parts for the machinery allowed for the advancements to become more practical for common use.
Michael was considering investing in factories which would build some of the tools.
He could then provide for more productive harvests, more jobs for his tenants, and more income for the duchy to reinvest on other properties.
The idea required a great deal more examination, but upon initial review, serious consideration was merited.
Keeping busy during his waking hours had prevented him from dwelling upon his situation with Lilly.
They were yet short one vote.
The third vote, Danbury had surmised, might well be more difficult than all of the others before.
For they had only two possibilities, lords Oliver and Newbold.
Both of whom professed to be staunch supporters of the present language and requirements of the Corn Laws.
If not for a conversation they had both had with Ravensdale over the wintertime where each had admitted to some reservations, Michael would not have considered them at all.
As it was, they were holding their positions stubbornly.
Michael had, of course, been privy to the details of Joseph’s betrothal to Miss Glenda Beauchamp. And at the last dinner he’d attended at the Ravensdales, Lady Natalie reminded him that he must be on hand for the engagement ball.
Following it, all preparations henceforth would be focused upon Michael and Natalie’s prewedding ball and the wedding ceremony which was to be held at St. George’s Cathedral.
It had been ages since he’d spoken privately with Lilly.
She and Danbury had upheld the charade of a romance between the two of them, and it seemed as though they’d eliminated any threat from Hawthorne.
But Michael needed to see that she was well. He would not reveal his plans though. He would surprise her. He would promise himself to her only when he’d become free to do so.
But now that he been with her again, his entire being yearned for her.
He wanted to be near her. At the younger couple’s engagement ball, he could dance with her once.
In fact, it would likely be expected of him.
He would hold her in his arms for the duration of a set.
He would be certain his dance with her was a waltz.