Chapter Seventeen
I am the Noctifer Witch. Great… super.
Whatever the fuck that means.
Some myth if I have never even heard of it myself.
Why the hell did the Gods give that much power to someone who walks like she hasn’t inhabited a corporeal body for a while? Why couldn’t they at least give me some grace? If I’m so powerful, I could trip and blast someone’s arm off. Then who is going to feel bad? Hmm?
Who am I kidding? I would feel awful.
I hang on to Ori’s every word, not wanting to miss a single detail. I feel that I’m keeping my shit together quite well under the circumstances.
“You are Forsythia Grimshaw. Daughter of Elswyth Grimshaw and Orobas Blackwell.”
I forget how to breathe. My heart is pounding in my ears so loudly they feel like they might burst from the pressure. My whole life I was curious, and I asked plenty of times. Neither my mother nor Ori were willing to give me any information at all. Now Ori just drops a bomb like that?
What am I supposed to do with that ?
My father is… Orobas Blackwell. Chief of the largest demon clan and generally accepted as the leader of the entire demon faction.
My mother loved a demon ?
Wait…
I’m a demon?
Thankfully Cordelia gave me that tea so that I can actually take a deep breath, and return my focus to Ori. I need to give Ori my full attention before he—
No. I won’t go there. Not yet. I just need to be here for him right now. I will handle my shit and everything else later.
“I was once a demon myself,” he continues. “My name was Morfran Blackwell. While my brother and I do share the same mother, it seems that familial tie was not a strong enough reason to keep him from cursing me once he learned that Elswyth had a child, and that I had kept the information from him. He assumed that Ellie had mated with another, so I didn’t tell him that the baby was his. He became so angry. Between dealing with the arrival of the Creatori and the heartbreak of losing Ellie, he didn’t hesitate to take his anger out on me.” His eyes flutter for a moment, and I know we don’t have much time left.
“I fled to Ellie, and she took me in. She told me that the transformative curse could only be broken by a demon. We tried to find someone for a while, but I began to enjoy this existence more than my previous life. And I didn’t want to be cured, only to spend the rest of my days running from my brother. Your powers began fluctuating so much in your teenage years, that the teas alone weren’t enough. So she offered me the chance to form a familiar bond with you and help keep your magick from overwhelming you before you were ready. I didn’t hesitate to accept…”
His words get choppier. A clear sign we are almost done here. I haven’t said much, but to be honest, I’m not really sure what to say at all.
“Sythia, I need you to know that being your familiar has been the most fulfilling task of my entire life... I love you and I am so incredibly proud of the strength you have grown into... I know Ellie would be as well.” He shifts his head to look at Blake and his voice becomes stern. “I expect you... to fill in the gaps of information that she is missing, as well as her training... You should be able to help her figure out most of her abilities, while some of the others will be more intuitive.”
Blake does not hesitate to agree. With a swift nod he vows, “You have my word.”
Ori nods at him and then shifts his focus back to me. “My only regret... is that I have kept all this from you far longer than I intended... Once we lost your mother and then your magick... I just wasn’t sure if telling you all this would make things better... or worse.” I nod in understanding. “It is rather strange.” His eyes flutter closed again, but he continues to speak. “It’s almost... as if I can feel Ellie close by... I suppose... it’s time... I reunite... with my dearest... friend.” He lets out a sigh, as Cordelia begins to cough loudly. I want to ask if she is ok, but it all happens so fast. I feel the snap of the familiar bond breaking like a rubber band pulled too tightly and double over with the pain. I can’t hold back the acid rising from the pit of my stomach, and vomit on the floor.
Once I have my stomach spasms under control, my eyes wander back to Ori’s body, willing his chest to rise again with another breath. But it never does. His essence is gone, and with it, another piece of my heart.
I don’t move for quite some time. The tears continue to flow with wild abandon, but I don’t feel them. I don’t feel anything, except pain. I barely register that the wards are taken down around me, or when Blake says he is going to help Cordelia to her rooms so she can rest.
The moment feels frozen in place. Things are moving and happening around me, but I’m just not present for them. I’m broken in a way I have never felt before. I know what they say about witches who lose their familiar, that’s why these bonds are not something widely practiced anymore.
But now I know why they lose their grip on reality. I feel it, that tiny morsel of my sanity, threatening to pull me over the edge.
At some point in my dormant state, Blake returns to my side. He runs a hand gently up my back before speaking. “Forsythia? If you would like, I can help you give his vessel back to the Earth.”
I move then. One small gesture is all I can manage, but it’s enough. I nod my head, afraid to open my mouth. Afraid that I will only be able to scream to express the agony that is consuming my very soul.
He gently pulls me to standing, before scooping up Ori’s body. We make our way back through the hallway of the healer commorancy and leave through the front door. It is nighttime and the village is quiet. The only sounds that follow us are those of crickets searching for their mate.
We walk around the buildings closest and head off the path a little farther into the woods. We walk a little ways in the silence before Blake speaks again. “Merfolk have their own way of doing this. I’m sure the witches do too. I figured though, since Ori was a demon, I could show you how they do things?”
“Yes, please,” I manage to say. The tears have finally stopped their assault on my cheeks, but my eyes burn and I have this feeling in my middle that something is just… missing. I can’t help but wonder if I will ever truly feel whole again.
The night is warm, but I feel so terribly cold. Thankfully, we stop after a few moments and Blake speaks again. “I think this is a good spot. Demons usually give their vessels back as ash.” He lays Ori’s body down on a bed of tiny pebbles. He blows out a breath, and I can feel his magick building, adding his words to his spell.
Ard—
“Wait!” I interrupt him with a hand on his arm. He looks at me curiously but lets his air and spell dissipate. “I can’t– I need this. I need to do this. For him.” I try so hard to articulate what I’m feeling, what I need. Thankfully Blake understands, he gives me a small nod and steps back to give me space.
Crouching down to Ori’s body, I place my hand on his side and let instinct drive my magickal intent.
Redigendum In Cinerem
In an instant, his body is consumed by blue flames that lick my hand and arms. They don’t burn me, and I feel no heat, but as I pull my hand away, Ori’s body becomes ashes. Again following my instinct, I lean forward and whisper to them.
Revertere ad Terram, amice carissime
The ashes move down between the pebbles and are pulled into the soil below with a sound that sounds like a contented sigh. Almost as if the Earth is welcoming her child home.
I take a deep breath and hold in the sob threatening to break free, before standing and turning to Blake.
He has a sad smile on his face and moves to put his arm around my shoulders. “That was beautifully done.” He slowly starts to guide us back towards the village and I can feel my feet getting heavier with each step forward. “I moved our packs to Cordelia’s house. She is exhausted and is staying at the healer commorancy tonight, so she offered us her home for a rest.”
“Ok,” I manage to say to him. Sleep does sound nice. My body is so tired that it feels like I’m walking through syrup, and my heart...well, it’s just never going to be the same.
I can see the outlines of the first building outside the forest when my legs finally give out and I fall. Only, before I can collapse on the ground, I am swept up into a pair of strong arms.
“I’m so sorry, Forsythia. I should have realized how tired you were. Let’s get you to the house and you can rest,” Blake says. I can feel the rumble in his chest as he speaks. It’s comforting in an odd sort of way.
“Sythia,” I tell him.
He stops walking and looks down at me. “What?”
I lay my head on his chest before he begins walking again and I respond. “We’re friends now Blake. Just call me Sythia.” I let out a small sigh, comforted by his warmth and enjoying the fact that I don’t actually have to force myself to walk all the way back.
I can hear the smile in his voice when he answers. “Alright, Sythia.”
My stomach grumbles making itself known after hours of nothing to keep it occupied, and he can’t hold back the chuckle. “Maybe we should try to get some soup into you before you fall asleep?”
I nod, but realize he probably can’t see me. “Sure. Would I be able to wash up a bit first?”
“Absolutely,” he says, shifting my weight and opening the door to a rather large house I didn’t notice we had arrived at. He shuts the door quietly behind us and carries me towards the back. I’m too tired and my eyes are too sore to really notice any of the interior. He sets me down inside the bathroom and leaves the room, returning only a minute later with a towel, a small scrubbing cloth, and a change of clothes.
“You can use these things. Grandmother won’t mind at all.” He rubs a hand through his hair and then moves to the door. “I’m going to leave the door cracked a little, just in case you need anything, but I’m going to go get some broth ready for you. Take as long as you need to.”
He leaves, keeping the door cracked like he had said.
Once I shed my grimy clothes and step into the shower, I sigh as the hot water runs down my aching body. Grabbing the soap and scrubby cloth, I get to work on cleaning off the dirt I accumulated today. Gods, it has only been a single day, and yet it feels like it has been a week. Months even.
Cleaning my hair first, I take the time to get the knots out, knowing that with my crazy mane, I have to pay close attention or I will end up with a huge matted mess that is better off getting chopped off. I don’t remember taking out my braid, so it must have fallen out when I fainted or something. Still, working the soaps into my scalp and down through its length gives my brain something mundane to focus on. If only for a moment.
I scrub and scrub, watching the dirty water swirl down the drain tube, when I see a tiny black feather fall from my hair. I bend down and pick it up, running it between my fingers. Ori’s feather.
A sob catches in my throat and I suddenly feel entirely too heavy. Collapsing under the spray, I let all of the anguish I have been holding in pour out of me and into that drain. I cry and cry, all while clinging to that tiny black feather like a lifeline. The sobs do nothing to ease the ache in my soul, but I just can’t stop. The pain. It’s too much.
I’m not sure how long I sit on the floor of the shower lost to my grief, but eventually, my sobbing is replaced by hiccups. Blake slowly opens the shower curtain and looks down at me. When he sees the tiny feather in my hand, he gives me a sad smile. He doesn’t say a word, but he shuts off the water and grabs the towel, then starts drying my hair. He helps me stand and dries off my body as well.
I should be in a panic, or aroused, or something, anything , by the thought of being naked in front of an attractive man like Blake. But the numbness is too deep right now. So, I accept his help and am grateful to have someone I can lean on. Someone to take care of me while I fall apart.
He finishes drying me off and holds out the linen pants for me to step into. With those in place, he grabs the top and helps me get into that as well. Not once asking me to release the feather. He scoops me up and carries me to the room across the tiny hallway, where sets me on the bed. He grabs a mug from the bedside table and finally speaks to me.
“Listen, I know that you probably don’t feel like eating, but you need to. So here.” He gently thrusts the mug at me, careful not to spill any of the contents.
I lift an eyebrow. “Your bedside manner sucks.” I pull the mug to my nose and sniff. The mushroom broth smells lovely and my stomach growls in response.
“Yeah, I know.” I can hear his exhaustion. Still, he sits with me while I drink the broth, not leaving until it’s gone but not pushing me to talk or anything just yet. He may not be able to give me soothing words but he gives me exactly what I need instead. A quiet comfort with his presence, but the space to just be. Right now, that’s perfect.
When I hand him the empty mug, he stands and heads to the door. “Just let me know if you need anything.” I nod and he turns and heads into the hall. “Night Sythia,” he says as he closes the door.
My head spins, there is a nearly painful tug in my chest, and panic starts to fill me instantly. I can’t hold back the words that come bursting from my mouth. “Wait!” I call out, and he swings the door back open quickly, nearly banging it into the wall. “Please.” I feel ridiculous, but I just can’t do this right now. “Please don’t leave. I just… I don’t want to be alone. I can’t. Please, Blake.” Under normal circumstances, I would be far more embarrassed about my admission and plea, but these aren’t normal circumstances.
“Uhh…” He clears his throat and turns back to the door, grabbing the handle and pulling the door closed, before facing me again. He walks over to the bed and sets the mug on the table, while I scootch over to make room for him, and he sits down.
I nestle down into the blankets, while he turns off the light and reclines stiffly. Craving his warmth, I wiggle closer and slowly wrap my arm around his. When I feel him stiffen up slightly, I ask “Is this ok?”
“Yeah, I just didn’t want you to think I was some creep. I’m not trying to take advantage of you or anything.”
I smirk a little at that. “No, Blake. You’re my friend, and I really need you right now. If you aren’t comfortable, you can leave once I fall asleep. Could you please just... hold me until then?”
“I’ve got you, Sythia.” He sighs, and lifts his arm, motioning for me to lay my head on it. When I do, he wraps his other arm around me in a nice little cocoon.
Between the exhaustion and the warmth around me, I relax almost immediately.
I become mesmerized by the sound of his beating heart, each thump soothing a little of the ache in my chest.
Drifting off to sleep, I inhale deeply the delicious smells of campfire and rain.
And if I happened to purr a little, blame it on the wariness of the day.