Chapter Twenty-Six
Y ou know that weird state where you aren’t quite awake yet, but you’re not really asleep anymore either?
Yeah. That’s where I’m currently hanging out.
I’ve never really been a morning person, but it’s like I just can’t be bothered to wake up right now. It’s not that I’m having some amazing dreams or anything. I just feel so relaxed . My body feels light and cozy. I actually don’t remember ever feeling this comfortable before.
A small contented sigh escapes me, as my eyes flutter open.
Around me is... complete darkness?
Well, that’s a bit odd. It’s not nighttime darkness either, but instead, it’s this open dark nothingness. I guess that should feel alarming, but it just feels so weirdly relaxing. It reminds me of the feeling of cold water on hot skin. Nearly to the point of being uncomfortable, but somehow it’s just soothing .
Looking side to side, I notice that it’s all pretty much the same. When I look down though I nearly fucking lose it. Well, I guess I already lost it because my body is just not fucking there. Yeah, no body. No arms. No legs. Nothing!
I start to flit around a bit in a panic when a voice calls out to me. “It’s alright my little flower,” the voice says in such a soothing tune that I fall almost instantly into a trance.
“Mother?” I manage to ask.
I hear the light tinkling of her laugh. “Yes Forsythia, it’s me,” she answers.
Yeah, but is it the real ‘me’ or the fake dream mommy ‘me’ I wonder?
Her hearty laughter fills the air. “It’s really me, child.”
If I had eyes, I would be bawling like a baby at the melodic sound of my mother’s voice. “Momma, where are you? Actually, where am I?” I glance down again and add, “I seem to have misplaced my body.”
I want to panic.
I really should be panicking.
But I just... can’t.
She laughs again, and oh Gods how I have missed that beautiful sound. I close my eyes—well, invisible eyes?—and just listen to the sounds of her. When I open them, a large blue dragonfly lazily flaps its wings in front of me. I look around but still don’t see my mother anywhere.
“We are in a space where your life essence has no physical form.” Oh fuck! That was unexpected. Ok, my mom is a dragonfly now. Got it. “It seems that my daughter did something reckless, and saved the life of an incredible woman, but the cost was great. I have never felt such equal parts pride and grief over a situation before.” She sounds so sad that I want to ask her what happened, but then the memories come flooding back to me in flashes.
The merfolk village. The demon attack. They were after me, and then Cordelia. I saved her.
But I died?
And Blake…
“Thankfully the Gods have given you so many gifts, my flower. I am not here to help you cross over, and this is not the Ether. We are in the space between, and you my love, are going back where you came from.” I try to follow along with my mother’s words, but I can’t hide my confusion.
“Umm, I’m pretty sure I died though,” I say to her. Let’s see... there was pain, then tired, then total blackness. Yep, pretty sure that was death.
“Yes and no. You already know how special you are, Forsythia. You are the Noctifer Witch, and your abilities aren’t limited to one plane of existence.” If there were crickets in this place, that’s all she would hear after delivering that little nugget of information. I want to understand. I truly do. But... this is all really far-fetched.
Then again, I am talking to my mother who is a dragonfly in a space where I have no body, so maybe...
“Alright, I will try to explain quickly, but you need to know that time passes differently here and we must get you back to your body as soon as possible.” She pauses for a moment and I wait for her to continue. I stare at the dragonfly, waiting for her to talk. Instead it just lazily flaps around a little.
Oh, Gods. What if I have actually gone insane and the dragonfly is just that... a dragonfly?
“Alright, weird question. Are you the... dragonfly?” Hey, if I am already in crazy town I might as well adjust my tiara. Right?
“Yes, I am. Quite pretty, don’t you think?” She flutters her wings a little fast and makes a loop in the air. “When you and I cast the spell together, you pulled a little part of my essence back with you. This was the only creature large enough that I could inhabit at the time. Enough about me, though. Forsythia, as the Noctifer Witch, you also hold abilities over a being’s life essence. As such, yours is permanently tethered to the Earth. You can be knocked out of it for a while, and your soul can also get lost from your corporeal body. While there are ways to sever the connection and destroy your body, it is very difficult. Which is a very long way of saying that you are rather resilient.”
I try to absorb what my mother is saying, but everything is just so overwhelming. “So... I’m immortal? I’m not a vampire, am I? That’s not like a secret demon trait or anything, right?”
“No, you aren’t a vampire. And you are not immortal. You are resilient. You can die, but as I said, it is a difficult task to accomplish. Your body will heal from most injuries. Even those deemed as fatal to others. After all, the Gods couldn’t have their greatest accomplishment so easily thwarted.” The last bit of her statement is laced with unabashed pride.
Too bad I call bullshit.
“Greatest accomplishment?” I hear the incredulous tone of my voice, but seriously? “Maybe they could have taken a second to toss in a little grace when they were cooking me up?” I mean I’m clumsy as fuck and there is just no nice way of putting it. That didn’t really feel like the kind of thing the Gods would make a mistake on.
“Perfection is in the imperfection, my flower. You are no less graceful than water spilling from a basin or a rock tumbling down a mountain. You are everything you were meant to be and more .”
“That still sounds like a very beautiful way of calling me a super klutz.” I frown at her. Well, I try to. This not having a body thing is just too fucking weird. So I imagine moving my facial muscles in a frowny sort of way.
Yeah, I miss my body. Without it, I feel weirder than usual.
She laughs again but starts to flutter with a bit more energy. “Forsythia, we have to go. Follow me and we can talk until we reach the gateway.” She moves in a direction that feels random in this place, but I manage to will myself to follow her.
Well... after a few tries that probably sound like I’m holding in a fart.
We move along for a little while, although distance and time are literally impossible to judge here before a question starts niggling at my brain. “When I get back, will you still be there?” I have to ask, even though I already know I will hate the answer.
“I am afraid that we arrived here at the same time, and while you must go back, it’s my time to move to the Ether now. I am grateful that I was able to watch you these past few years. Even if you had no idea it was me. I was able to watch your strength and kindness blossom into the most amazingly stubborn woman.” I chuckle lightly at her words, and she begins to move forward again.
Her next words would have made me trip over my feet. If I had them that is. “I even got to meet your soul-bonded mate. He truly is your other half my flower. Well, maybe half of your other half, but that will come with time. I am so very happy for you.”
I don’t know where my body is, but someone must have just punched me in the gut. “Say what now?” I squeak.
“Yes. The boy, well... man, who goes by Blake Coakley? Surely you felt the connections? You kind of threw a bit of a wrench in the normal flow of things when you threw out your magick a few years ago. Not that what you did was wrong, or unnecessary. But it was like putting the soul-bond into stasis, and the bonds rekindled when your magick returned to you. I have seen the way you look at each other. There is no denying it to me, Forsythia. The second one will gain your affections soon enough as well.”
“Haha, very funny mother. You know? Your jokes weren’t that great when you were alive, and they still suck now. Blake and I are just friends. That’s all. Besides, that would have happened on my twenty-seventh birthday, and I’m thirty.”
“Well like I said, your actions disrupted the process before.”
“No. No way. I’m not letting you put crazy ideas in my head and try to play matchmaker. Especially not with that asshole.”
“Forsythia, I am not trying to push any ideas or unworthy mates on you.” She sighs and continues on, “I truly wish I would have taken the time to teach you more about this when I had the chance, but we are at the gateway now, my flower. It is time for you to go.”
“I can’t… I don’t want to lose you again.” I’m trying to hold back the pain and the tears that want to break through, but without a body I don’t think I’m actually capable of either reaction.
It definitely doesn’t prevent the feeling of my heart breaking though.
“Oh, my sweet flower.” She flutters close and I can almost imagine her wings tickling my cheek. “You will never lose me. I will always be a part of you. I love you, my daughter.”
“I love you too, Mother.” There is a heavy pause and silence between us as I try to cope with the feeling of leaving her behind, but I know we don’t have much time left, and waiting won’t make this any easier. Before I force myself to move, my mother speaks again.
“You will do so many amazing things. You are Forsythia Grimshaw, a half witch-elfling and half-demon badass. You are the Noctifer Witch. You are both the light and the dark, both parts equally fierce and beautiful. You will kick ass and take no names. You will fight with an unrivaled passion and love with fierce conviction. You. Are. Magnificent.”
At my mother’s beautiful words, the space around me grows dimmer.
“I don’t know what to do now, though,” I manage to admit as the darkness pulls me in.
I barely hear my mother’s final words to me as my essence leaves the Between.
“It’s easy. All you have to do, Forsythia... is wake up.”