Chapter Ten
I push my way through the heavy bushes, careful not to disrupt the creatures who use their protection and call this place home.
An errant tear chills my cheek and I angrily brush it away. I’m thankful to be the one leading the charge so that my mates– or worse, my father– don’t see my emotions leaking through.
Two days.
Two days of trudging through forest that all looks the same. Coming across villages or magickals or humans, with only destruction and death to greet us.
Bodies tossed aside and mutilated, depicting how painful their last moments must have truly been. Scorched ground… and flesh. Some scenes were more gruesome than others. Pieces in various directions and more blood than I knew was contained in a single body of flesh covering– well, everything.
So much fucking death…
And why them? What makes them so much more expendable than me?
Nothing, that’s what.
I live. I trudge on. Because that is what’s expected of me. Because that is my purpose in this world. To avenge them. To end this.
And I will end this.
My guilt bubbles over into irritation as I feel like we are hunting without a clear direction.
Two days of traveling in what feels like circles as I am constantly smacked in the face with an errant tree limb, or tripping and falling over the smallest pebble.
I don’t even want to think about the hill I managed to completely tumble down. Blake laughed so hard he was purple, and I wanted so badly to punch him. Of course Lucian was there to help me up and baby my wounds. Which made me want to punch him, too.
Two fucking days we have been tracking this fucking monster with nothing to show for it, aside from the dead we weren’t able to save.
I had hoped. I had wished.
I wasn’t naive. I knew that we would have to return to reality once I got Lucian back to our realm.
Is it really so horrible that I wanted a little time with my mates? That I just wanted time to understand these deep feelings I only recently embraced for them?
The sex was amazing, don’t get me wrong. But my heart felt weary. I would give anything for time that I could just be .
Not the Demon King’s Daughter. Not Forsythia Grimshaw. And certainly not the fucking Noctifer Witch.
I just wanted a moment to just be a woman in love.
And here I am again, wishing for more when others have suffered such an immeasurable loss.
But fuck!
Even I have suffered loss in all this mess.
My self pity quickly flips to anger when I trip over a clump of dirt. I right myself and keep pushing forward. It’s all I know.
Here I am. The mighty Noctifer Witch. Sad over my own selfish wishes, when people are dying.
My hair blows away from me, and I know that my power is building up again.
Stupid fucking anger and stupid fucking powers showing how fucking angry I am.
“Should we say something?”
“Blake! You fucking suck at whispering!”
I hear the edge in my voice. I know I’m lashing out.
I can’t help it. I just feel so full. Full of stress and sadness. Full of nervous energy. Full of anger. Full of this Gods damned power that keeps pushing my legs forward, even when I would give my left hand for one fucking moment of rest!
I cringe at that thought.
Blake did give his left hand in the name of this fucking beast.
“Forsythia, you are mumbling to yourself again.”
Not even Lucian’s unwavering baritone calms the storm inside of me.
I mumble a little louder. “If you two have something to say, maybe you should just fucking say it already.”
Someone grabs my right arm and spins me around. My other hand comes up as I swing my fist. Thankfully, Blake has learned that when I am pissed off, duck. Sadly, Lucian doesn’t duck very well.
My fist connects with his solid chest and pings right off like it’s made of rubber.
I suck in a breath and tears well in my eyes as I hide the offending hand behind my back.
I think I heard a crack. No, I know I heard a crack.
Well that’s what I get for offering it up in sacrifice.
Lucian glares down at me. A sight that would make normal women piss their pants. Thankfully, I am not a normal woman.
Uhm… I think I just insulted myself?
He holds out his hand and makes a grabby motion. I roll my eyes and am about to brush him off when he steps closer. Almost too close.
I roll my eyes again and plop my hand into his. Only wincing a little.
I think.
He makes a tsking sound and I take a closer look at my hand. The hand itself is turning shades of purple. One finger is swollen to twice its normal size and is pointing in a direction it does not normally point in.
Oh lovely. I broke my fucking hand.
Again.
“You would think you would stop trying to punch the golem.”
My eyes snap in Blake’s direction. He is standing entirely too close.
I snap my other hand back and punch him. He doesn’t expect it this time and it hits him right in the eye.
“Yeah, and you’d think that you would stop being such an asshole all the time. But here we are.“ As he covers his face with his hand and stumbles backwards, Lucian chuckles softly under his breath.
The sound has a small smile creeping across my face. But the moment is short-lived as my thoughts begin to whirl back into my emotional hurricane.
“What troubles you, Forsythia? You must talk to us.” Lucian pulls me back into my present situation, and his words strike a cord inside of me.
He called me ‘Forsythia’ for the second time now in less than a five minute span.
Not Animus Meus . He hasn’t called me ‘his soul’ in days now.
That thought shoots a pang straight through me and I can’t hold back the dam of tears anymore. They burst forward and flow down my cheeks with fervor.
Suddenly my body feels unbearably heavy and I crumble. My mates catch me. Lucian still cradles my injured hand and Blake holds me like a child against his warm chest. He sits down with me in his lap and Lucian begins to hum low. His magicks pulse across my skin as he works to heal my stupidity.
My body shudders from the intensity of my sobs.
How ungrateful can a person be?
Here I am, surrounded by love from my two soulbond mates– a bond that is so rare that no one in nearly a century has had one, let alone two–and I’m bitter because I have to fulfill a task given to me by the Gods themselves.
I curl into Blake’s hold and bury my face into his chest. Hiding my shame.
Some hero I’m shaping up to be.