Chapter 27
NOAH
Hours of competitive Tekken combined with the residual crash from my panic attack saw me doze off on the couch multiple times before I stopped fighting it.
I vaguely registered when the guys stopped gaming and switched to a movie, but I didn’t bother opening my eyes.
I was too comfortable curled up on the sofa with my feet up on Torin and my head on Minho’s thigh.
At some stage, the muscles in my neck stiffened up enough that I needed to accept defeat and go to bed, so I groaned and rubbed my eyes.
“Go back to sleep, Chicken,” Minho murmured softly, his long fingers stroking through my hair hypnotically. “You’re fine there.”
“Mmm, no, my neck hurts,” I mumbled in a sleep-thickened voice, pushing myself up slightly and blinking through the darkness. The TV was still on, but the volume was turned down and subtitles were on instead. And we were alone. “What time is it?”
Minho yawned and glanced at his watch. “Uh, one thirty-ish.” Last I’d checked, it was around ten fifteen.
My eyes widened in surprise. “Holy crap, I was asleep for ages! You should have woken me up; your leg must be totally dead by now.” I gripped the thigh I’d been using as a pillow, and he groaned with pain.
“Ow,” he admitted with a small laugh. “I was fine until you moved. Now I have pins and needles.”
I bit my lip, knowing full fucking well that I needed to get up and go to my room. I needed to move away and stop touching him. And yet, I massaged his firm thigh with my fingers and tried to act like I was just helping the blood flow return faster.
“Fuck…” he uttered on a breathless exhale. It was enough to jolt some small semblance of sanity into my brain and I sat back abruptly, snatching my hand away.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I…I’m still half asleep,” I said by way of excuse, giving a little shaking laugh to cover my awkwardness. “I should go.”
He stared back at me, the darkness of the room casting deep shadows across half his face in a way that Torin would probably froth over and make him rush for his sketchbook. When I started to get up, though, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down.
“Don’t,” he said softly. “Don’t do that, Chicken.”
My breath hitched and I bit my lip as I eyed his fingers wrapped around my wrist. His grip loosened, and his thumb stroked the side of my hand, making my heart flutter.
“Don’t do what?” I asked, playing dumb. Because nothing on this earth could make me make the first move here.
If he wanted to clear the air, then he needed to take the lead.
“Don’t pretend like nothing happened. We kissed, and you’ve been avoiding me ever since.
I want to know why because I know it’s not that you’re not into me.
You are. So what’s the problem, Chicken?
” He used his grip on my wrist to pull me closer still, so one of my legs ended up hooked over one of his and our faces were close enough to kiss…
I wet my lips, and his eyes dipped to my mouth without even trying to hide the gesture.
“I think this crosses the line past fan service, Minnie,” I murmured in an attempt to lighten the mood, freeing my wrist from his grip to run my fingers through my hair.
He frowned, eyeing me with confusion. “Is that what you think I’m doing? Playing it up for the cameras? No one is watching right now, Chicken. It’s just us.”
I swallowed to choke back the fear of rejection. We needed to have this conversation. “Isn’t it? As far as I know, you’re not into guys”—I wasn’t going to fess up about my vagina right now—“and I heard you talking to Ace the other day about the hat thing…”
His brow drew tighter, and he shook his head slightly. “I lied to Ace. I wanted everyone to know you were wearing my favorite hat because you’re my favorite person. And I don’t need to be into guys. I’m into you, Noah, and I know you’re into me, so what’s the problem?”
My pulse was absolutely thundering as I gave a nervous laugh. “You seem real confident of that fact, Min.”
His gorgeous lips curved in a sly grin. “I am. Because I’ve seen the way you melt when I play with your hair, and I’ve heard the little breath you draw when I touch the small of your back, and I can feel the way your pulse races when we’re close…
” He picked up my wrist again, and for the first time I realized his fingertips were resting right over my pulse point.
“And I know you kissed me back. That wasn’t just an adrenaline rush, Chicken. ”
Fuck. Was I that obvious?
His other hand found the nape of my neck, sliding into my hair and pulling me close, but I stiffened and pulled away.
“If I were a girl—” I started to stammer, my insides in turmoil. Minho Park had me all kinds of messed up, but I knew I couldn’t do this to him. I couldn’t fuck around with his head and fall any deeper into this entanglement without coming clean.
“I don’t want you to be a girl, Noah,” he interrupted with a small growl, underscoring those words that cut me like a knife. “I just want you.”
Fuck. I was putty in his hands, losing the battle with my better judgment as I softened and met his lips with my own. One of us moaned, but it was unclear who because my whole head was a rush of static and butterflies as his soft lips caressed mine, coaxing them to part and then…
Holy shit, this was all wrong. I needed to stop and get some distance and make up an excuse—literally any excuse—to push him away, because if things kept going the way they were going, he was going to find out really fucking fast that I didn’t have a dick.
But at the same time, I couldn’t seem to stop. Kissing Minho was the single most euphoric, erotic thing I’d ever done—which was fucking wild when I considered the shit I’d done in bed with Rich and the career that had made me millions.
That was the ice water I needed to regain some sanity, and I reluctantly pulled back from Minnie’s intoxicating kiss. “I can’t—” I gasped, breathless and flushed with desire. “We should, um—”
“Take it slow?” he guessed, swiping his tongue over his lower lip with a small moan. “Yeah. We should. I’ll admit, this is new for me… But I really like kissing you, Chicken.”
Well, shit, I wasn’t strong enough to resist when he looked at me like that. Which was what I told myself as our lips crashed back together again in another heart fluttering, core clenching, breath-taking kiss.
“Whoa, what the—”
Torin’s voice was like being struck by a fallen power line, and I lurched backward out of Minho’s lap faster than I’d even known I could move, clapping a hand to my mouth and snapping my eyes in the direction of the doorway.
Words utterly failed me as Torin met my panicked gaze with a conflicted mix of emotions playing out across his face.
Hurt, anger, shock, panic, disbelief… Then he snatched up his phone off the coffee table, spun on his heel, and disappeared out of the room once more, leaving me in a state of anxiety and guilt.
“Shit,” Minho groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face. “I need to talk to him.” Then he chewed on his beautiful lower lip for a moment with his eyes on the empty doorway. “Maybe in the morning. Don’t worry, Chicken. I’ll fix that.”
Whatever the fuck that even was. “Um, I should go to bed anyway.” I stood and tried to make a quick escape, but he snagged my wrist in that perfectly familiar way of his, reeling me back in until my knees were on either side of one of his thighs and his free hand found the nape of my neck again.
“I meant what I said,” he said softly, his dark eyes heavy as he looked up at me. “We can take it as slow as you need. Glacial pace, if that’s what you want…so long as I can kiss you when no one is around.”
A deep shiver of desire ran through me as I bit my lip, admiring just how utterly stunning he was. It was easy to see how attractive he was for those high-end luxury fashion houses, because who wouldn’t want this gorgeous creature displaying their clothes? He’d make a garbage bag look chic.
“I’ll think about it,” I murmured eventually, knowing deep down there was no way I could let this continue.
I was already in too deep to come clean, and when he inevitably found out my reality, there was no way he wouldn’t be furious and suspicious, wondering if I was intentionally fucking with his head.
And the idea of hurting him like that made me feel physically ill, so I needed to not do this.
I couldn’t fall for Minho Park any harder than I already had.
His fingers stroked the back of my neck, tugging lightly on my short hair as he studied my face.
“Good,” he whispered, sitting up straighter to close the gap between us.
“Think about this.” And then those pretty lips were on mine once more, and I forgot all the reasons for hesitating.
He kissed me like we had all the time in the world, releasing my wrist and moving his hand to my waist as he deepened our kiss, our tongues meeting in the most delicious tangle.
And then I remembered once more. He thought I was someone I wasn’t.
With a gasp, I broke away and stood up, taking a couple steps out of his reach with wobbly legs.
“I’ll… Yeah. I’ll definitely think about that,” I admitted with full honesty.
I was now just mad as hell that I shared a room with Skye and couldn’t lie in bed and flick the bean while thinking about that kiss.
I stumbled as I left the room, and Minnie’s quiet and deadly sexy chuckle followed me. Damn it, so much for coming off cool and collected. Ah, fuck it, who was I kidding? I hadn’t managed cool or collected from the moment I met this fucking team.
The whole way back to my room, I flip-flopped on how the fuck I could dig myself out of the sexy but very deep hole I was suddenly in.
By the time I reached my bedroom door, I had come to the conclusion that I absolutely needed to just come clean.
Whatever Minho’s reaction was going to be, it’d only get worse the longer I let the lie drag out.
Drawing a deep breath of fortitude, I turned around and quietly made my way back downstairs to tell him. Rip the Band-Aid off and let the pieces fall wherever they landed.
The flickering light of the TV lighting up the hallway told me he was still where I’d left him, and I paused a moment to find my backbone.
To find the confidence and determination to blow up what was only just starting between us.
But as I stood there mentally berating myself for being a coward, a strange noise trickled through the quiet night, weaving its way into my tangled thoughts.
Quickened, harsh breathing, and a rhythmic sort of… Oh shit…
Shocked and intrigued, I drifted closer and peered across the dark room to where Minho remained exactly as I’d left him, sprawled out on one end of the sofa.
Except, the point of difference was how his sweatpants were pulled down to mid-thigh and his gorgeous fingers were wrapped around his impressive erection.
I froze, locked in place as I watched his fist pump up and down, his head tipped back against the sofa and the long line of his throat exposed to the air, like it was begging to be kissed. His sooty lashes fanned across his cheeks, his eyes closed as he pictured someone.
Me?
But in what way? Was he thinking about those kisses we’d just shared? Or something more?
Was he thinking about what it’d be like to fuck another guy and that was what had him so turned on? Was he fantasizing about sucking dick and getting topped by me?
Holy hell, I needed to get my head checked because I was all kinds of messed up. And that wasn’t fair to Minho. But I sure as hell couldn’t tell him now, so as painful as it was to do, I silently backed out of the room without alerting him to my voyeurism.
We could talk in the morning. We’d go out for coffee and I’d tell him everything…
Then he could make an informed decision whether he was actually into guys or just, as he insisted, into me.
I really badly hoped that was true, because now that I’d seen what he was working with, I couldn’t unsee it.
Minho’s dick would have the starring role in my dreams for many nights to come.