Chapter 3 #2
“I get the feeling you didn’t get along as children.”
“Or as teenagers,” I reply wryly.
“Want to tell me about it?”
I hesitate. “That depends. How close are you?”
“Very. He’s my best friend.”
“Then—maybe some other time.” It doesn’t feel right to talk about Apollo that way with Nolan, not when I haven’t bothered raising the subject directly to Apollo myself.
Not yet. “I hope it’s okay. He and I had some rough patches, but I have a feeling things are going to be better. We just need to hash it out.”
“I understand.” Nolan doesn’t press, much to my relief. “Apollo has been good to me. For a while, I thought he was the one I was constructed for.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, our programming is made in such a way where we always favor one person. Age, gender—specifics don’t really matter. It just happens that way.”
“Wow. Like . . . a soulmate?” I ask as we languidly amble down a path, our attention on the birds, soaking in the last remnants of summer warmth as autumn begins to float on the wind.
“Kind of. Soulmate is a bit strong. It’s hard to describe.
It can be more fluid. It doesn’t always have a romantic undertone like that.
For example, a bionic assistant might be given to a young mother with an infant.
It’s hard to say who the android will bond with—the mother or the infant.
It can take the form of any dynamic you can think of. ”
“Including fraternal, like with my brother.”
“Exactly. So when I saw Apollo for the first time, my gratification drive clung pretty tightly to him. It was overwhelming. I remember when I told him about it, he thought I was insane.”
“But it doesn’t stick?”
“No, not always. There are different levels to it. If I were a bionic assistant in a home, I might gravitate toward the person in charge of keeping it. That can change, obviously, as their situation changes. From what I understand, the drive is more fluid in that way. But only sometimes. Other times, it can be more concrete.”
I can’t help but ask the question I’ve been sitting on since he first introduced me to the concept, and now I just have to know. “And what’s your grat drive like around me?”
“Around you?” Nolan glances down at me, meeting my gaze with a faint smile. “You really want to know?”
Steadying myself, I nibble on my lip and nod.
He leans down and whispers in my ear. “Well, it’s been going crazy around you too.” His deep voice rumbles, causing me to shiver in delight. “And I’m trying to figure out what that means.”
Going crazy? Around me? Suddenly, I can’t feel my legs, and I nearly trip over a stick laying in my way. Nolan catches me effortlessly. “Easy, girl, don’t hurt yourself.” He laughs. “I know I’m a first responder, but I’d rather not hunt down a first-aid kit.”
Any embarrassment I might’ve felt about tripping fades away, because his hands are on my arms, keeping me upright. His touch is so warm, and I want him to pull me in, to make my skin prickle when he speaks to me.
This feels so fast. I’ve never let myself get this caught up about a man before. I thought I was reasonable and cautious, but not with Nolan. Whatever walls I thought I’d constructed, he’s broken through them with his voice, his bright smile, the way he jokes with me.
If I’m not careful, I’m going to fall before I even know where I am. And then the first-aid kit is going to be the least of my worries.
But how can I pull back when I look into his eyes? And that gaze of his, right there, are what give me pause. “Your eyes are different. They were different back in the store too. Aren’t they meant to be white?”
He regards me carefully. “It’s for your protection. Not everyone is friendly to droids, especially at night.”
“That’s too bad,” I lament. “I like how they look when they’re natural.”
His irises glow with the faint hint of a backlight, much to my delight. When I smile, he grins back at me triumphantly, and I memorize those dimples in his cheeks. I can hardly remember to breathe when he’s this close.
His gaze searches mine. “Mia?”
“Sorry, it’s just—” I’ve been staring and quiet for too long, and that familiar heat between my legs has returned. “Never had a guy tell me he’s a little crazy about me.”
“You haven’t met many smart guys, then.” Victory is alight in his face.
He grins and leans down a little, playful.
“But I’ll happily be the first—when it’s time.
The gratification drive is the one who’s insane.
I’m trying to dial him in.” His hands slide down my arms to clasp mine.
Then our walk continues, and I’m going where he leads in a dreamlike state I don’t want to wake up from.
Whenever he talks about this drive, I can’t help imagine this tiny little version of Nolan, maybe with a high, squeaky voice and a lot of energy, trying to talk with him like an angel or a devil on his shoulder, with its own mind and ideas, and it’s absolutely adorable.
Another couple walking a dog passes by us.
Nolan gives them space while remaining close by my side.
I wonder if he’s uncomfortable, being out here like this with me.
Even if he can hide certain aspects of his synthetic nature, I wonder if there are people who can tell, who can pick him out from a crowd, no matter what. I really wish he didn’t have to.
“You won’t get in trouble,” I ask, shaking off the cobwebs, “if you’re out with me past a certain time or anything, right? You don’t have a curfew?”
“There is a curfew, yes. But it’s only for androids walking alone. Since I’m with a human being, I’m not breaking any laws. But I have ways of hiding. I blend in. When I appear human and I avoid places with droid scanners, I can do pretty much whatever I want.”
I faintly remember the news of when that was implemented.
One of my coworkers in LA, a happy android owner, was livid she couldn’t send her assistant out in the evenings to run errands for her after a certain time.
She complained about the inconvenience of it all.
“What’s the point of even having one if I have to go with him anyway? ”
Admittedly, I haven’t given it much thought because it didn’t affect me before. “I just don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“Don’t worry about that. It’s not like I’m out here moonlighting as a vigilante and fighting crime.” Nolan chuckles.
“You’re right. That sounds like a movie I’d watch, though. A superhero robot?”
“I’m sure Hollywood’s done that already.”
“Have they? I wouldn’t know. Apollo was the superhero nerd, not me.”
“That’s true, he is.” Nolan chuckles. “We had a movie marathon of all the turn-of-the-century hero movies one weekend.”
“That’s just surface level.” I stretch my arms out wide. “Bins and bins of vintage comic books in rare paper format—Titanium, Mastermind, Nightfall—that are probably worth a small fortune. Packed sky high in the garage. Jessica’s ready to sell them.”
“Do you read that kind of thing?”
“I did when I was little. Apollo introduced them to me,” I answer wryly.
“I liked the love story of Titanium and Metallurgy. Everyone thought he was a hero, but he really wasn’t.
He’s actually this super villain. Despite that, he saved a girl, they fell in love with each other, and he’ll burn the world to be with her.
It’s pretty twisted, and nothing like real life, but it’s an interesting dynamic. ”
“I’m glad it’s nothing like real life. Burning things is entirely against my programming. The exact opposite, in fact. Especially burning the world.” Nolan’s remark makes me giggle.
We pause near another park bench that overlooks pairs of ducks swimming in the pond, which is outlined by blue neon light.
I snap a few photos and take a video, and Nolan seems just as taken with how adorable they are.
I’ve lost track of all the subjects we’ve covered.
Time moves so fast when I’m with him, it’s hardly fair.
We sit down together again and stare out at the view, the neon city in the distance, the way it glows in the darkness with blue, green, and pink. BioNex Tower dwarfs all the other skyscrapers in the distance. The company responsible for dreaming Nolan to life.
I used to be rather indifferent. I heard all the stories. Humanity First, TerraPura. But I had my own things to focus on. I thought a lot of what was happening was terrible, but I didn’t allow myself to get caught up into any of it. It never directly affected me. Until now.
“Can I ask you something?” I blurt before I’ve fully thought it through.
“Ask away.”
Composing myself, I tear away my attention from that glowing city and focus solely on Nolan. “Are you in danger because of Humanity First?”
“Honestly, not really,” Nolan replies. “They’ve got some troublemakers, but I’m handled by the state. That’s one hell of a lawsuit if they try to take me on. That, and the fire department has been very clear from the very beginning that I’m not replacing anyone. I’m meant as support. Nothing more.”
“And . . . TerraPura?”
Nolan’s expression is carefully neutral. “TerraPura is the bigger cause for concern.”
My stomach twists a little. I don’t like the sound of that. “Have they tried to take you, to—change you, like they did with that android that blew up protestors at the march?”
“Not yet. But never say never.”
“Is that why you change your eye color?”
“No. That’s purely for human comfort. Another android can sense what I am from some distance away.”
That worries me. “You’ll always be careful, won’t you? If something happened to you—”
He reaches out and brushes my black hair behind my ear. “Everything will be fine. They can sense me, but I can also sense them. And I am equally as dangerous to them as they are to me.”
“How?”
“I can snap a smaller model in half if I wanted to.” Nolan rests his arm behind me across the back of the bench. “Don’t worry.”