Chapter Four
CHAPTER FOUR
Annabelle
M y heart is racing as I sit on the couch, pretending to be absorbed in the book resting on my lap. The words blur together, my mind too preoccupied with thoughts of Nolan to focus on the story. I've been replaying our kiss in my head for the past two weeks, wondering if I've made a terrible mistake by crossing that line. But I can't deny the electricity I felt when his lips touched mine. No other kiss has had me this fucked up. Not my first one, not the one I had before Nolan.
It's only Nolan, and shit if I'm not obsessed.
"She's finally asleep," Nolan says as he walks into the living room, his voice breaking through my thoughts.
I look up, offering him a small smile. "Was she difficult tonight?"
"Not more than usual." He chuckles, running a hand through his dark hair, messing it up in that way that makes my stomach flip. "She insisted on three bedtime stories instead of two."
"She's a negotiator. Gets that from you, I bet."
The comment slips out before I can stop it, and an awkward silence falls between us. It's been like this since the kiss, these moments of normalcy punctuated by an undercurrent of tension that neither of us knows how to address.
Nolan sits on the other end of the couch, leaving enough space between us to feel intentional. "Belle, I think we need to talk about what happened."
I close my book and set it aside, trying to calm the flutter in my chest. "I've been thinking about that too."
"I don't want things to be weird between us," he says, his eyes searching mine. "But I also can't stop thinking about you. Fuck, I can't stop thinking about you," his voice is a mixture of wonder and desire.
His confession sends warmth spreading through me. "I can't stop thinking about you either," I admit. "But Nolan, this is complicated. I'm Ashlynn's nanny."
"I know." He sighs, leaning back against the cushions. His shirt pulls tight against his stomach, and I can't help but wish I could see what's under the fabric. "Believe me, I've been telling myself all the reasons why this is a bad idea."
"And yet here we are." I twist my hands in my lap, gathering courage for what I need to ask. "Before we even consider... whatever this is between us, I need to ask you something."
He nods, his expression turning serious. "Anything."
"Ashlynn's mother." The words hang in the air between us. "I've never asked about her before because it wasn't my place, but if we're going to move forward, I need to know that there isn't someone waiting to come back into your lives."
Nolan's face darkens slightly, and I rush to explain.
"It's not just about us. I've grown to love Ashlynn so much." My voice catches, and I take a deep breath before continuing. "I couldn't bear to build a relationship with her, only to have her taken away because her mother decided to return."
He shifts closer to me on the couch, his eyes never leaving mine. "You have every right to ask that question."
I wait, my heart hammering against my ribs as he gathers his thoughts.
"Lisa and I... it was a one-night stand that turned into a marriage,” he begins, his voice low. "We barely knew each other. When she told me she was pregnant, I tried to do the right thing. We attempted to make it work, to build some kind of life together for the baby's sake, but we had nothing in common. Nothing to build on. The divorce was inevitable from the beginning."
I listen intently, watching the emotions play across his face.
"After Ashlynn was born, things got worse. Lisa fought me for custody and won." The bitterness in his voice is palpable. "But when Ashlynn was a baby, she left her on my doorstep with a note saying she couldn't do it anymore. I haven't seen or heard from her since."
My heart aches for both Nolan and Ashlynn. What kind of mother could walk away from such a beautiful little girl? "I'm so sorry, Nolan."
He shrugs, but I can see the hurt beneath his casual demeanor. "It worked out for the best. Ashlynn deserves better than someone who doesn't want to be her mother."
I hesitate before asking my next question, almost afraid of the answer. "You are divorced?" I phrase it as a question. "I'm not the type of person who can be comfortable with a man who still has a wife, no matter if they're together or not."
"We are," he answers without hesitation. "It was finalized two years ago. She signed over her rights. I don't expect her back. Ever. Haven't seen her since the final court date."
Relief washes over me, and I feel guilty for the sensation. It's terrible that Ashlynn lost her mother, but I can't help feeling glad that there's no chance of Lisa suddenly reappearing and disrupting the life Nolan has built.
"Thank you for telling me," I say softly.
"You deserve to know." He reaches out and takes my hand, his thumb tracing circles on my skin. "I want to be completely honest with you, Annabelle."
The warmth of his hand around mine sends tingles up my arm. It's been so long since I've felt this way about anyone, and it terrifies me. “We have to be cognizant of Ashlynn always, which is why I don’t want to put a label on this. Maybe we need to know what we expect in relationships?” I ask. "This is all so new, and with Ashlynn involved..."
"We can take all the time you need," he says, squeezing my hand gently. "I know people talk about how hot I am. They assume I've got women lined up, and I'm not trying to be cocky, I hear what people say. But the truth is, I'm a one-woman man. I prefer monogamy, and I haven't been interested in dating since Ashlynn came into my life."
"Until now?" I can't help the small smile that forms on my lips.
"Until you," he confirms, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You changed everything, Belle."
I lean back against the couch, still holding his hand. "I never expected this when I took the job. I was just trying to make ends meet while finishing my degree."
"Life has a way of surprising us," he says. "Sometimes in the best possible ways."
My gaze drifts to the hallway where Ashlynn's room is. "She's my primary concern in all of this. I don't want to confuse her or hurt her."
"She adores you," Nolan says. "And that's one of the many reasons I..." He pauses, and I can see him carefully choosing his next words. "That's one of the many reasons I'm drawn to you. The way you are with her, it's beautiful to watch."
My cheeks flush with warmth at his compliment. "She makes it easy. She's an amazing little girl."
"So what happens now?" he asks, his voice gentle.
I take a deep breath, considering my answer. “Now, we get to know each other, and keep Ashlynn as our main priority.”
He nods in agreement. "I can work with that."
We sit in comfortable silence for a moment, and I realize that for the first time in two weeks, the tension between us has shifted from awkward to something sweeter, filled with possibility.