Chapter Thirty-Two
Nolen
“Hold me,” Derek whispered, his body seeking out mine in our shared darkness.
“Always,” I whispered, gathering him in my arms as the darkness continued to exist around us.
“Why are we here?” he asked. It was clear he still feared the dark. But with my arms holding him tight, he could at least keep the fear to a minimum.
“I have no idea,” I admitted. I wasn’t about to tell him the darkness scared me, too. He needed me to be his rock, his support, but not being able to see anything was unnerving.
“You think we’re asleep?”
“We have to be. Mindy pulled me under as soon as we had you back in bed,” I explained. Why we shared a dream was a mystery, though.
His voice was low when he asked, “You think Aiden is alone in his darkness?”
God, I hoped not.
“Maybe, or maybe his dream is full of light,” I said, hoping to convince us both of that.
His tone lightened some, “I bet he’s happily lazing about a flowery field.”
Humoring him, I asked,” Really? What kind of flowers?”
“Yellow ones,” he whispered. “He always liked the yellow ones.”
“He did?” I feared asking more questions than that. Derek shouldn’t have his memories back, not yet at least, from what I knew.
“Yeah, he always picked the yellow ones.”
“Then he’s definitely surrounded by yellow flowers,” I agreed.
“And sunlight, no more darkness,” he added.
“Of course.”
I was glad he couldn’t see me at that moment, because tears had gathered in my eyes and I had no way of removing them with my arms holding him close.
“Where am I?” Aiden asked, joining me on the grass.
This dream was different from the one I shared with Derek, at least here it wasn’t pitch black, but still dark out like it was nighttime. I sat in some sort of forest, the moon highlighting enough for me to see shapes and make out Aiden’s features beside me.
“In our dream,” I replied, knowing that had to be the only conclusion.
“Huh,” he said, creeping closer to my side. “Where’s Derek?”
Surprised, I blurted, “You remember Derek?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I?”
“Um, I thought that maybe the shock had made you forget him somehow.”
I hated that I couldn’t make out his expression because his silence was killing me.
He finally spoke, “I remember everything, Nolen.”
“Everything?”
“Yeah.”
“Your childhood?”
“Everything… Good and bad,” he whispered.
“And about me?” I dared ask.
I could hear the humor in his voice when he replied, “How could I forget the handsome stranger I kissed on the street?”
I bumped his shoulder. “Is that all you remember of me?”
“No,” he laughed. “I remember vividly how you claimed me as your mate, too.”
“Good,” I said, placing my arm around his shoulders, loving that I finally had some time with him like this, even if it was only a dream, it was still real.
“You never answered my question,” he reminded me. “Where’s Derek?”
I shrugged, knowing he could feel it and not see it. “These dream things work out how they want to. Sometimes I’m with him and others I’m not.”
“And now I’m here,” he whispered.
“Exactly,” I confirmed. “Maybe my magic chooses who I’m connecting with? Maybe it’s random? But whatever it is, I’m glad to spend time with both of you.”
“To be honest, I feel like I’m playing catch up,” he admitted. “I remember being asleep but still hearing you two, it soothed me. But you and Derek already know each other, and here I am, just now joining you.”
“And you feel like you don’t fit yet?” I suggested.
“Kind of, I mean, I feel like I belong with you and all of this makes sense somehow, but I’m not close to Derek anymore, not like it was before we were torn apart. And you and I only just met.”
“To be honest, it’s often quick when mates find each other. You’ve found your person, so why wait?”
“I guess I can kinda see that, but my brain is still trying to logic its way out of this, telling me it’s too soon to feel like I belong to someone I barely know.”
“I expected that from the way you grew up in your world. But here, it’s normal. The way you reacted when you saw me, that’s the normal thing. Kissing on sight and then mating a few hours later.”
He squirmed in his seat. “Mating?
I hummed in agreement, “Sex, a joining of our magic.”
“Oh,” he whispered. “Have you mated with Derek?”
“I have.”
“And you and I need to mate, too?”
“Once we’re awake, yes. But you’d need to touch the ground first and unlock your magic. We’ll see what happens when this dream phase is over with, but I want you to be healed first. I’m not risking you.”
“Things are bad, aren’t they?” he whispered.
I tugged him closer to my side before kissing his temple. The night around us filled with the quiet rustling of leaves and darkness.
“Nothing we can’t handle.”
“The sun is out today,” Derek said, sitting next to me beside the small lake.
“It was about time it showed up,” I agreed, smiling at my beautiful mate. It was funny how I knew which of my mates it was just from his voice alone.
“Maybe it’s a sign that things are going well?”
“We can only hope.”
I grabbed Derek and placed him in my lap, needing to feel him as close to me as possible. It felt like too long had passed without him near me.
He snuggled into me, his back to my chest as we stared out over the lake. “Do you think Aiden is doing okay?”
“Yeah,” I replied easily, because I truly believed he was.
“I still haven’t seen him.” He sounded disappointed by that.
“You will,” I stated, hoping my words were true.
“I miss him,” he whispered, and I held him tighter against me.
“He misses you, too.”
And he did. It was what I’d talked to Aiden about the last time we shared a dream. He remembered everything about their childhood, but not seeing Derek alive and smiling was hard on him. He needed the reassurance that Derek was okay, that their past was just that, a past.
A few moments of silence passed before Derek whispered, “What if he can’t heal from this?”
My body stiffened, because I’d thought the same thing, feared the same would happen.
“Sorry!” he hurried to say, turning around in my lap so we faced each other. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
I cupped his cheek. “My Darling, if not me, then who could you talk to about this?”
His shoulder slumped, but his cheek rubbed against my hand affectionately. “It just isn’t fair to you. I know losing him would kill you.”
“It would kill us both,” I replied, knowing it wouldn’t literally, but we’d both live without a vital part of our souls if Aiden left us.
He moved his head so we were forehead to forehead. “Whatever happens, we fight. I don’t want us to lose anyone. Not me, not Aiden, and not you.”
“We fight,” I agreed.
“Do you think the reason you were given two mates was because we were so broken we counted as one?” Aiden asked, his tone dull and dejected.
“No, I think the reason I was given two wonderful men was because I have enough love for both of you,” I assured him, holding his hand in mine as we watched the lazy waves on the beach.
It had gotten brighter in our dreams, but Aiden and Derek had yet to meet. Aiden was taking it the hardest, his need to reconnect with Derek was obvious.
“You sure?” he whispered while his glassy eyes looked down at our clasped hands.
“Of course, I am. Fate wouldn’t give me you two if it knew I wasn’t the man for you. It knew my heart was big enough to heal and love you, I have no doubt about that.”
Aiden turned his head, his tears falling freely. “I promise to be worthy of your heart, Nolen.”
“The sun is higher today,” I said, taking Derek’s hand in mine as we walked through the green lush forest.
“I thought it was just me! But it definitely is!”
“Do you think once it turns night it’ll mean you’re healed?” I asked, knowing it was likely too good to be true to wish for that.
“It could be. Every dream gets brighter, and now as we’ve both pointed out, the sun is moving higher and higher.”
“And it’s around mid-day, if we were to be specific on the placement,” I mused. “So, maybe we’re halfway there?”
He sighed dreamily. “God, I hope so.”
The waves were brutal against the cliffside, but the sun was still bright and warm on Aiden and I’s skin.
“I never thought I would love anyone other than my dads,” Aiden admitted as he held my hand and studied my fingers closely.
“Really?” It hurt to hear how sure he was of that fact.
“I didn’t want a relationship, and I’ve always struggled with friendships, being broken and all.”
“Hey, don’t say that, I’m sure your friends loved you,” I assured him, because he was so lovable, anyone would be blind not to see how precious he was.
He smiled, his eyes still locked on my hand. “You only say that because I’m your mate.”
“And,” I countered, “Because I love you.”
He stalled his inspection of my fingernails, his eyes finding mine. “You… You love me?”
“Of course,” I replied. “I loved you from the moment I saw you.”
His eyes searched mine. “I think I loved you the moment my lips met yours.”
I grinned. “You have a mate who loves you and a twin who does, too. And your dads. So much love is waiting for you as soon as we wake up.”
“I can’t wait to see my dads again,” he whispered, staring out at the wild waves of the ocean. “I hope they’re okay.”
His dads were a sore topic, and one we tried to avoid. There wasn’t much we could do, and since we wouldn’t know what had happened to them in the time we were asleep, worrying wouldn’t do anything other than hurt us.
“You’ll see them soon,” I promised, knowing I would do anything in my power to visit them soon.
“And you and Derek?” he suggested.
“Will be there with you to meet them,” I finished for him, knowing that was what he wanted.
I couldn’t wait to thank them.
The yellow flowers surrounding me had to be a good sign. I lay there, waiting for either Derek or Aiden to join me. The sun was nearing dinner time, meaning it would soon be setting and then night would come. If our theory was true, then we would soon wake up.
“Aiden?” Derek’s choked up voice startled me from my lazing. I sat up and saw both my mates staring at each other.
“Derek,” Aiden sobbed, and then, as if pulled together as magnets, they ran to each other, meeting in a tight hug as they sobbed, holding their twin for the first time since they were small children.
I was full on crying, too, their emotions so raw it left me feeling just as brokenhearted seeing them like that. And to know this was a dream hurt. The real Aiden and Derek were asleep, still waiting for that first hug.
I let them be, knowing they needed to share this moment themselves. I was just glad to be witnessing it. My heart was full as I saw them share whispered words of ‘love’ and ‘finally’.
“Nolen?” Derek’s voice surprised me, but there they both stood, one arm raised towards me, beckoning me to join them.
I stood, walking on unsure legs to hug both of them. As soon as I was close, they tugged me into a firm hug, their scents surrounding me, their warmth.
Sighing, I savored this moment between us, letting it heal a part of me that feared this would never happen, dream or reality.
When the tears stopped, we laid down, them on either side of me, snuggling close and enjoying this moment where we were all together.
Finally.
I closed my eyes and just let my smile take over.
It’s definitely happening soon,” Aiden agreed with Derek.
“The night has truly taken over,” I nodded.
“So, does this mean we won’t have this soon?” Derek asked.
I shrugged, sitting down on the beach we found ourselves at.
“That isn’t very helpful,” Aiden said, bumping my shoulder as he joined me on the sand.
“I know as much as you do, and you both know this,” I replied, smiling at them both.
Derek rolled his eyes and sat on my other side. “I think this means we’re soon healed.”
“I hope so,” Aiden whispered. “Do you think it feels different?”
“Different how?” Derek asked.
“To not be broken?”
Derek seemed to think it over. “Maybe we’ll find out soon.”
“Yeah. Soon,” Aiden agreed, his tone hopeful.
“This isn’t as scary with you two next to me,” Aiden said, his voice a light in the darkness.
“You were in the dark too at first?” Derek asked.
“Yeah, it wasn’t a nice experience.”
“I hate that we weren’t with you then,” I whispered, holding him tighter to my right side. Derek was at my left, both holding hands on my stomach. All three of us connected in the dark.
“Hopefully none of us will ever be left alone in the dark again,” Derek whispered.
We snuggled closer, their bodies warm against mine. The darkness was silent and as terrifying as the first time. But unlike the first time, Aiden was with us, as it should be.
“We’ll wake soon,” Aiden said, his tone low.
“I can’t wait to hug you for real,” Derek said, his tone a tad higher and eager.
Aiden chuckled, “Me neither.”
“And to kiss Nolen for real again.” Derek snickered.
“You could kiss me now, you know,” I hinted.
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Aiden grinned, moving his body and claiming my lips with his.
This was the first time we’d kissed since we met, and it was wonderful.
His lips were soft, his tongue caressing mine in a way that felt both possessive and playful all at once.
I felt claimed by that one kiss. To my utter joy, Derek’s lips took over after, leaving me claimed by both and so damn happy my smile was almost bright enough to light up the darkness surrounding us.