2. Ben
TWO
BEN
We turned the corner, heading away from the gym and towards a much-needed pizza when I said out loud what I had been thinking about since we showered.
“Richard Hawk.”
“Give me that.” Kaleb tried to grab my phone. “You are not Googling the gym owner.”
“You said it yourself – the best way to get over a dick is to find another one.”
Kaleb’s tiny frame was no match for my long arms. He gave up quickly.
“I said it better than that actually, and don’t get me wrong, I’ll admit Richard was hot.” Kaleb added, “For his age.”
“He wasn’t that old.”
“ I’ll find you someone suitable. Someone with a TikTok account at least,” Kaleb added.
“Oh, thank you. Please find me someone obsessed with their social media followers. That’s just what I need.”
Kaleb ignored me as he held the door open and continued to lecture me about all the sausage he was apparently about to throw at me tonight. At the moment, however, I was concerned with the sausage that was about to cover the best pizza in the city and fill my belly.
We didn’t get very far inside – the line was snaked around the restaurant.
“You want to take it to go or eat here?” Kaleb asked.
“Here,” I answered. “It’ll get cold by the time we get to your place. It’s always better fresh.”
We made small talk about the upcoming semester, but my thoughts kept going back to the gym. His strong voice and broad shoulders.
Eventually we ordered, filled our cups from the fountain, and when we were finally seated and had the semblance of privacy, went back to talking about dicks.
“You could always meet guys on campus. Isn’t there a queer group or something?”
“Those aren’t dating services,” I said.
“Grindr? Sniffies?”
“I met Corey on Grindr and look what happened with that, and I’ve never heard of Sniffies.”
“Really? I didn’t know you met on Grindr.” Kaleb took a dramatic sip of his orange Fanta, then said, “That settles it. We’re gonna get you laid the old fashioned way.”
“We both know I’m not getting fucked tonight. Not after the amount of pizza I’m about to consume.”
Kaleb pouted. “I know that. I was just trying to live the fantasy.”
I knew he was really trying to make me feel better. And The Stable would certainly do that. I’d have fun there, but the pizza wasn’t the only thing preventing my ass from getting blasted later. I needed to be a little sad about getting dumped. Alcohol might help, but what I really wanted was ice cream and a movie night.
“I’ll go with you to The Stable. Two drinks max. We can see if Prince Charming falls into my lap. Then we get some Ben and Jerry’s and have a movie night with cuddles. You can big spoon me.”
Kaleb rolled his eyes. “Fine. Have it your way.”
I gave him my best sad face. “You don’t want to cuddle with me?”
Kaleb sighed. “Does your cardboard box have any pajamas in it or are you borrowing my clothes to sleep in?”
“You know I sleep naked,” I said.
“Not on my couch you’re not.”
“Seriously?”
“I guess if there’s a sheet on it, it’s fine. But no cum stains!”
“What’re you boys drinkin’?”
Thankfully The Stable didn’t card. I don’t know how that was possible but Kaleb and I weren’t going to complain.
“Do you have any specials tonight?” Kaleb asked the bartender.
“For you, handsome? I’ve got something really special.”
“Oh, you probably say that to all the boys.”
That was completely true. In the dim light, it was hard to see the bartender’s face but his body was ridiculously muscular.
“Par for the course,” the bartender said. “But handsome is handsome. Here.” He handed each of us a laminated menu.
“I’ll take a Cum Stain,” Kaleb said, almost immediately.
Seriously?
I took a closer look at the card. Sure enough, there was a shot called a Cum Stain. I didn’t feel like chancing it.
“Just a Rum Punch for me, please.”
“You got it. Name’s Drake by the way.” He gave a big smile as he turned away.
“So–”
“Are you really going to ignore the hot jock that might as well be slurping your dick already?” I had to almost yell. The music had changed; it was louder now.
“Who? Him?” He gestured to Drake’s – yup, perfectly muscular – back.
“Uh, yeah .” Who was he kidding?
“He has to flirt with everyone. It’s how he earns a living.”
“Whatever.” I had no idea what was up with Kaleb because Drake sure as fuck wasn’t flirting with me. He hadn’t called me handsome.
“Anyone catch your eye?”
I turned away from the bar to look around. It didn’t appear there were any dancers tonight, but it was a weeknight. Maybe it was too early.
“I told you two drinks max, and he’s gotta fall into my lap.” At this point, still completely sober, I was wondering why we had come at all. Ice cream and Kaleb’s comfy couch would’ve been so much better. The atmosphere was great and all, but I wasn’t in the mood for this many people or the loud music.
“Well, if you stand here all night, nothing’s gonna fall into your lap.”
Before I could think of a reply, Drake was back with our drinks.
“Sorry it took me so long, boys. We’re short-handed.”
“Oh my God, Ben! That’s it!” He slapped my shoulder and I tried not to wince. “You could work here.”
“We do have a few openings.”
“Ooh, yes!” Kaleb clapped excitedly, then cocked his head. “Though Ben’s not really used to filling openings, he’s more of a bot–”
“Shut – the fuck up – you dick!”
Drake laughed as Kaleb continued tittering, then leaned over the bar so he didn’t have to yell at me. I tried not to stare at his biceps.
“Have you ever bartended before?”
I shook my head.
“It’s not hard to learn. Of course it’s easier if you’ve got a good memory,” Drake said.
“I think it’s pretty good.”
“That’ll do, I reckon. Oh, how do you feel about being hit on by strange men?”
“Sounds like a good time,” Kaleb quipped.
I ignored Kaleb. “I think it’d be okay.” It sounded like a self-esteem booster honestly.
Drake grabbed my shoulder and squeezed. “If you’d be up for tryin’, I’d be the one to train you. And if it makes you feel better, we’ve got security.”
“Does it really get that bad?” I asked.
“We’ve never had big problems here. Just want you to know what you’re gettin’ into.”
“I feel like you’re trying to scare me, but I need the money.” I glanced at Kaleb. “Plus, we like it here.”
“Oooh! Do I get free drinks if Ben’s working here?”
“Depends how many you can pack away, half-pint,” Drake answered.
“Half-pint?!” Kaleb practically shrieked.
I smirked at the nickname and my best friend’s reaction. It rang true because Drake was at least a few inches taller than me.
“Easy there.” He smiled at Kaleb. “I only tease the ones I like and it’s not like I know your name.”
“It’s Kaleb,” I answered for him.
“I’ve changed my mind.” Kaleb took an exaggerated sip through his straw. “I don’t think you should work here, Ben.”
“Oh, come on now. I was only teasing.”
When Kaleb didn’t react, Drake added, “As an apology, Kaleb, y’all don’t have to pay for your drinks tonight.”
“Okay”–Kaleb sucked down the rest of his drink and slammed the empty glass on the bar–“sounds good. I’ll have some more cum.”
“You mean a Cum Stain?” Drake asked.
“Sure, whatever.”
I swore I heard Drake say something about his cum but the music was getting louder and I wasn’t completely sure. It didn’t seem Kaleb heard him, or he was pretending not to.
“Wanna hit the dance floor after you finish your drink?” Kaled asked.
At this point if Kaleb wasn’t going to, I was considering asking when Drake’s shift ended though I doubted I’d have a chance.
Drake wouldn’t stop staring at Kaleb – the back of his head anyway.
“I’ll give you three songs,” I said. “Chocolate chip cookie dough is calling my name and I can’t wait to slip into some comfy sweatpants.”
“Fine. If you want to throw away a night of free drinks, so be it.” Kaleb downed the rest of his shot. “But you’re not going out there like that, take your shirt off. Show the boys those perky titties of yours.”
“You’re ridiculous. One sec though.” I turned around to get Drake’s attention.
“More drinks, boys?”
I shook my head. “What’s the application process for the job? I want to give it a try.”
“Can you come by tomorrow night? Around seven? We won’t be too busy yet.”
“Sure.”
“Great. One more thing. If you go shirtless, you get way bigger tips so I hope that’s not a deal breaker.”
Before I could answer, I felt my shirt being pulled over my head.
“It’s not,” Kaleb answered for me, tucking my shirt into his jeans. “Let's go,” he said, tugging my hand.
“See you tomorrow,” I called out before being swallowed in the mass of bodies on the dance floor.
“But I don’t understand. Weren’t you going to live with Corey?”
My mom was standing in the front hall while I walked back and forth, loading Asa’s car with my stuff. Neither Kaleb nor I had a car, and I couldn’t believe it when Asa offered to help.
After another trip, she was still waiting for an answer. I had no reason to hide the break up other than the conversation it would likely lead to, but whatever.
“He dumped me, Mom. I’m improvising.”
A hundred emotions flashed across her face as I tried to gauge what her first words would be, but none came. Instead, she slowly approached me with her arms outstretched and I accepted her hug.
“I’m sorry, baby.”
I sighed and held my laugh inside. Even though I had been taller than her since middle school, she still called me baby. The cloud of comforting scent that enveloped me, a combination of fabric softener and her perfume, took me back to all those moments she was there for me over the years. It made me almost want to stay home for this year.
But not quite.
“I’m fine, Mom.”
She pulled back but kept her hands on my arms so she could look me straight in the eyes with expert levels of skepticism.
“I will be fine.”
I let her pull me down so she could kiss my forehead, then she said, “No rebounds. Focus on your studies and don’t let Kaleb drag you all over the city every night.”
Now was probably not the time to tell her Kaleb was determined to find me a tasty top to tongue worship, or that I was about to have a working interview at one of Boston’s most popular gay bars, so I ran up the stairs to grab another box of my stuff.