Chapter 7
Seven
CALLIE
PRESENT DAY
I didn’t expect it to hurt like this. To chafe. To feel uncomfortable and a bit raw.
But this was still bloody agony, and I hated him for it.
Lewis Adair.
The bane of my existence.
My legs shook as they carried me away from my ex.
The image of him walking through the club was burned on my brain.
He was different, but in a way that made sense.
He didn’t look like a professional architect striding through the room. Lewis looked like a biker. With his messy man bun, short beard, and tattoos.
Lewis had tattoos.
They were revealed in the short-sleeve tee that molded to his strong biceps. I knew from Eilidh that, like me, Lewis still regularly attended tae kwon do classes. But he also had to work out to be that in shape. He was as tall as his uncles, and his strong, athletic frame had filled out to something bulkier, more intimidating.
No wonder the redhead had literally thrown herself at him.
When he’d approached us, I thought I might not be able to speak. It felt like my heart had lodged itself in my throat. And the way he’d stared at me, dragging his gaze insolently up my body.
Heat flushed my skin as I pushed into the ladies’ restroom.
With it being a private event, it wasn’t too crowded. But unfortunately, the redhead and her friends were in there too. If they recognized me, they didn’t acknowledge it.
I fumbled with my clutch, pulling out my lipstick and reapplying it. My reflection revealed flushed cheeks and wide eyes. I almost looked like I’d had a shock.
Then the redhead’s conversation started to register.
“I don’t want anyone else. I want to go home with Lewis Adair. I’ve had my eye on him for months.”
“Do you think he’s gay?” one of her friends asked. “I’ve never seen him with a woman at any of these parties.”
“Not according to Eilidh.” The redhead shrugged. “Maybe he likes his women to be more obvious. Maybe I need to go up to him and say ‘Let’s fuck.’”
Her friends laughed; my stomach pitched.
People must throw themselves at Lewis all the time.
There were guys dressed to the nines in three-piece suits at this party, and they’d all paled in comparison to Lewis who had strode through the room in jeans and a tee, looking as lickable as a cold ice-cream cone on a muggy hot day. He had a commanding presence he’d very much inherited from his father and uncles. The kind of charisma a lot of these actors would kill for .
And I hated him for it.
How many women had he slept with since we broke up?
My fingers trembled as I finished with my lipstick.
Why did the thought of it hurt so much?
I’d moved on.
I’d slept with other men.
The sex had even been fantastic.
With Lewis it had been romantic and sweet and loving and great. But we’d been kids who were just discovering sex with each other. The first bloke I’d slept with after Lewis had been a disaster, so much so I couldn’t even think about it. Then there had been Remy. The sex was okay (Remy was a selfish lover), but with Gabriel, it had been adventurous, sometimes rough, and exciting. Grown-up sex.
The thought of Lewis with other women shouldn’t bother me at all. It was hypocritical.
Shoving away from the sink, unable to bear listening to the redhead’s conversation as she planned her next approach on my ex, I hurried out of the bathroom.
Only to smack right into the object of my current distress.
Lewis reached out as if to steady me and suddenly afraid of what his touch might do, I jerked away.
Coming here was a mistake.
“Callie—”
“It’s too loud in here, so I’m heading out. Will you tell Eilidh? Thanks!” I didn’t wait for a response, hightailing it to the exit as fast as I could.
Bursting out of the club, I sucked in a lungful of shoddy air and shakily exhaled. Laughter and traffic filled my ears, and the air was thick with smog. So much so, I longed for Ardnoch. There was nothing like a fresh gulp of Highland air. Clean and crisp.
I stumbled away from the club, suddenly hating this city for being something Ardnoch could never be. Its pull so strong that it had torn me and Lewis apart.
It was a mistake to come here.
I hated London and all it stood for in my life.
“Callie!”
No .
Halting, I briefly closed my eyes before turning to face him.
Lewis’s concerned gaze met mine as he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. A few chunky silver rings glinted on his big-knuckled fingers. It was difficult in the glare of a million streetlights to make out the images on the full-sleeve tattoo of his left arm.
Where had he gotten the tattoo? When? Why?
All these things I would have known seven years ago. I probably would have sat in the chair next to him while he took the ink. But I knew nothing about the last seven years of his life, and I was knocked on my arse to realize how much that still hurt.
I despised him for that too.
He searched my eyes. “Can we … can we go somewhere?”
Surprised by the request, I shrugged. “Why?”
Lewis made a sound of disbelief. “Because we haven’t seen each other in years.”
“That was your decision.”
Anger flashed in his eyes. “Callie?—”
“I need to get back to my hotel.”
“Please,” he bit out, voice rough. “You never have to speak to me ever again after it.”
The curious part of me, the part of me that would always, unfortunately, be drawn to him, nodded reluctantly. “Okay.”
Lewis seemed to sag with relief. “Great. Follow me.”
Falling into step beside him, I didn’t feel even a shred of uncertainty as he led me down a dimly lit lane between the club and the next building. No matter what had occurred between us, I’d always feel physically safe with Lewis.
Emotionally, not so much.
“Where are we going?”
He gestured to a green motorbike sitting beneath a lamppost.
It shouldn’t have surprised me.
I already thought he looked more like a biker than an architect.
Yet it was one more thing in the evolution of Lewis Adair I’d missed when once upon a time, I thought I’d be around to see it all.
“You want me to get on that?” My bitterness seethed in the question.
And I blamed him for that too. I didn’t want to be a bitter person!
“Scared?” Lewis unlocked the hard case box on the back of the bike, flashing me a teasing grin I knew all too well before he pulled out helmets.
“No. My ex had a bike.” It was true. I’d ridden on the back of Gabriel’s bike often.
Lewis’s smile dropped. “So, what’s the problem?”
I gestured down to my clothing. “Not exactly dressed for a ride.”
His eyes dragged down my body in a way that made my pulse flutter. When our gazes locked, he wore an expression I’d never seen on Lewis’s face before. Pure, unadulterated lust. “I adamantly disagree.”
It took a second for his hoarse words and their meaning to register. I gaped at him. “You did not just say that.”
His mouth kicked up at the corner. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
I could tell by the devil in his eyes, he absolutely meant it that way .
Lewis held out a hand. “Give me your purse. I’ll put it in the box.”
Still a bit stunned by his overt flirting, I held out the clutch and watched as he locked it away. With one more wicked smirk in my direction, he swung his leg over the bike with ease. “You coming or not?”
So this was who he was now?
Flirty and cocky, and probably a total manwhore to boot.
Fine. If he wanted to play it that way … I marched over to the bike, tugged the hem of my dress up indecently high, and swung my leg over. Then I scooted as close to Lewis as possible to protect what little modesty I could. My heels rested on the passenger footpegs, bringing my thighs closer to him.
He was tense against me, staring over his shoulder at my bare legs.
“Well?”
Lewis looked forward and pulled his helmet down. I followed suit.
Then I slid my arms around his waist. His heat hit my palms through the thin fabric of his shirt. I could feel the hard ridges of his abs and noted how much broader his shoulders were now.
He was Lewis … but he wasn’t.
He wasn’t my Lewis anymore.
“Ready?” His question was slightly muffled by his helmet.
I tapped his stomach to let him know I was.
With that, the engine purred to life and Lewis kicked up the stand to take off. I loved being on the back of a bike, but it was different with him. Whereas before I got lost in the sensation of riding—it was almost like flying, taking in the scenery passing by at speed—now I felt nothing but him.
His heat, his hardness.
The vibrations of the bike between my thighs while I pressed my breasts against his strong back .
Memories flooded me.
Random moments. Like searching for him in a room, only to find him watching me with such tenderness on his expression, I could die with happiness. His hungry kisses. His loving touch. How perfect and right it felt to be naked in his arms.
The way it broke me in half to realize that for him, none of it was enough to stay with me in Ardnoch.
Less than twenty minutes later, Lewis halted the bike on a well-lit, well-maintained, tree-lined street occupied by pretty townhouses.
As soon as the engine stopped, I released my hold on him and pulled off the helmet. “Where are we?”
Lewis took off his helmet. “My place.”
Annoyance and anticipation were my friction-filled companions as I swung my leg off the bike and smoothed my dress down. When I looked up, it was to find Lewis staring hotly at my body. “Stop ogling me,” I huffed.
He smirked as he got off the bike. “If you didn’t want me to ogle you, you shouldn’t have worn that dress. Or those shoes.”
“Does that kind of talk work for you with other women? Because it seriously does nothing for me.” I slammed the helmet into his stomach and marched away from him to wait on the pavement.
Lewis locked the helmets away, grabbed my clutch, and then handed it to me before he walked past with a careful expression. He gestured to stairs that led down to a basement flat.
“Why did you bring me here?” I asked as we walked into the small apartment. It had an open-plan living and kitchen area that was smaller than my parents’ living room. A hallway at the side of the kitchen clearly led to the bedroom and bathroom. The space was stylish but cold. He had no photos on the walls. Just generic artwork. The lack of light was depressing too. I hated this flat for him.
It was like it was a stopping point.
“How long have you been here?” I asked before he could answer my last question.
“This flat? Two years. And I brought you here because I wanted to be able to talk and actually hear you.”
In the glaring artificial light, I could see now that his sleeve tattoo was blackwork, where larger areas of black ink made for dramatic effect. Whoever his artist was, they were talented. The art was amazing.
I took a step forward, peering at it.
The short sleeve of his T-shirt hid part on his shoulder, but I could make out what looked like the bottom of a woman’s face. The branches of a graphic-style tree touched her chin as it blossomed across his biceps. The roots of the tree morphed below it into stunning roses and thistles, and embedded in the petals was half the face of a clock with roman numerals. I couldn’t make out what time it was at.
Curiosity plagued me.
Knowing Lewis, every inch of his sleeve of tattoos held meaning.
Lewis lifted his arm, seeing my perusal. “It took five three-hour sessions.”
“It’s beautiful,” I answered honestly. “Do you have more?”
He nodded. “Got my first tattoo a few months after … well, after I left. It’s a take on the Adair coat of arms.”
“ Loyal Au Mort ,” I said, remembering their clan motto meant Faithful unto Death. The thought made me snort. “Guess some things are hard to live up to.”
His expression clouded as he crossed his arms over his chest, defensively. “Is that a dig? ”
Pretending to be unaffected by his indignation, I shook my head, glancing casually around his personality-less apartment. “Merely the truth.”
“You wouldn’t know what the truth was if it bit you on the arse, Callie Ironside.”
“Rewriting history, Lewis?” I kept my tone casual as I wandered around the small space, my heels clicking on his hardwood floor. My calm indifference seemed to bother him, and I could admit I took a sadistic pleasure in pissing him off.
In the early days of our friendship, we’d actually fought a lot. We were super competitive with each other. However, I always thought that was because we instinctually trusted we could be that way with each other and not have it break us. I never thought anything could break us. That was our problem in the end. I’d thought that, while Lewis had known better.
I’d loved him more than he’d ever loved me, and I hadn’t wanted to stand in his way of making the life he wanted for himself.
“Nope.” He watched me as I trailed my hands over a sideboard where he kept a record player—the only thing in the room so far that really spoke to this being Lewis’s home. He’d been a huge music lover and had introduced me to so many artists from all eras. “I remember exactly how we ended.”
“Is that why you brought me here? So we could rehash what doesn’t need to be rehashed?”
“If it didn’t, you wouldn’t have fled the club, fled me.”
I stopped to face him. “I didn’t flee you. I’m not a clubber. You know that.” Give me a quiet pub and a live band over a nightclub any day of the week.
“Was he?”
I scowled. “Who?”
“The French bloke you left back in Paris.”
Discomfort shifted through me. “You don’t really want to talk about our exes, do you? ”
“Did you love him?” Lewis asked hoarsely.
The vulnerability in his question gave me pause. I stared at him, trying desperately to understand why his expression was so tight, so pained. “Why would you care if I did or didn’t?”
Lewis huffed, turning away from me in frustration. “I’m not the one rewriting history, apparently.”
“Can we not do this?”
He whirled around, his blue eyes flashing. “I thought you went to Paris and weren’t coming back. After everything … I thought you’d left Ardnoch after all. For him .”
Oh.
He thought after our breakup, I’d become a hypocrite. That I’d done something for someone else that I couldn’t do for him.
In a way, I had. “I left Ardnoch for me. But it was never permanent. I didn’t lie when I said it would always be my home, where I wanted to live my life. But I’m glad I spent those years in Paris and traveled a bit. I never didn’t want to travel, Lewis. I just didn’t want to leave everything behind that meant something to me. You can’t say the same.”
Lewis stepped toward me. “That’s not what I did.”
“Really.” I shrugged. “Because it sure felt like it at the time.”