Chapter 11
eleven
I drove my Jeep with Micah in the passenger seat and Wells behind me, pulling into a parking spot in front of a one-story, modern plaza. A restaurant with a wall of windows sat under a gray overhang, a sign above reading High Tide Café and Creperie . All three of us climbed out of the Jeep and headed for the restaurant.
“This is right by the Surf Shop.” What could I do to make Micah feel comfortable? As I rested my hand over my brow, I gazed at the mid-morning sun, then grabbed his hand.
Micah offered me a shy grin.
Wells walked beside me, and as we came up to the glass doors of the restaurant, he held the door for us.
As I stepped inside, I took in the brown tables with low-back, black chairs. A colorful mural decorated the wall, depicting a sea and palm trees with a red sunset background. A few couples and a family sat at various tables around the restaurant, eating and talking.
A waiter with short hair greeted us. “Three?”
“Yes.” Micah smiled at the waiter.
We followed the waiter to a table by a window overlooking the parking lot and beyond, hills with tall eucalyptus trees sprawling toward the sky. We sat down, with me next to Micah and Wells across from me.
The waiter left three menus on the table. “Coffee?”
All three of us nodded.
“Coming right up.” The waiter left.
“This little beach town is really nice. Now I know why you wanted to stay out here.” Wells picked up a menu from the table.
I leaned in. “How the hell did you know exactly where I was?”
With a sly smile, Wells picked up his phone. “You’re sharing your location with me on our phones.”
I glanced at Micah, who was looking over his menu. “Oh, guess I forgot about that.” Stupid. “I thought you were waiting to get your bass fixed?”
“I was. I got Bobby to fix it early, so I came out.” Wells eyed Micah and cleared his throat, then focused on me and, in a soft voice, said, “You worried me a little the last time we talked.”
Micah looked up from the menu to focus on Wells. “Worried you how?”
Wells shook his head once and moved his napkin to his lap with a forced grin. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just some...band stuff.” He threw me a knowing look.
I thought back to the last time we’d talked. It was right after Micah took the Xanax on the beach. My eyes widened. Holy shit, Wells cared enough to drop everything and come here.
Wells peeked at Micah. “I suppose I should get a hotel room until everyone gets here. I wasn’t sure, you know...”
Micah lifted his head from the menu.
“Um...” I studied Micah. I couldn’t turn Wells away now. Not when he’d rushed out here. “Well, maybe Micah and I could sleep at his place and you can sleep in my bed?” I touched Micah’s arm. “Our manager rented a house for everyone starting next week in Daly City.”
Micah creased his brows. “You’re not staying here past next week?”
“Oh, no. I’m staying. I wanted to be on the beach, but the other guys didn’t care, and Daly City was cheaper.” This was going to be a delicate balance to maintain, for sure. I gauged Micah’s reaction.
“Okay. I guess it would work out for a week.” Micah chewed his lower lip.
“Hey, Micah. Don’t worry. I’ll let you have all the alone time you want with Ash.” Wells chuckled.
Micah’s gaze fell to the table.
“But we should work on some music before we hit the studio anyway, right, Ash?” Wells wrinkled his forehead. “That would be easier to do if we were both staying here.”
“Yeah, we should.” I had to make Micah feel right about this. It was obvious he still had doubts. I took Micah’s hand. “We were going to be sleeping together every night anyway, right?”
“I...yeah.” Micah furrowed his brows. “Okay.”
“It’ll be fine. You’ll see.” I’d have to continue to work on Micah. Putting Wells in a hotel was not an option. I picked up my menu and scanned over it.
The waiter returned and dropped off coffees for us. “Ready to order?”
We all put in orders for various crepes, along with orange juice.
“So, Micah, what’s your story?” Wells opened a sugar packet and poured it into his coffee.
“My story?” Micah shifted and flashed his eyes at me. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”
Wells poured creamer in his coffee. “Well, what are you doing out here? You work in town or what?”
Micah shook his head. “No, I work at Tesla. I’m a software engineer there.”
“Oh, wow. Smart guy, huh?” Wells sipped his coffee.
“That’s what I said.” I looked over Micah with warmth welling up inside me.
“So, they give you days off during the week?” Wells asked.
“N-no. I’m on a leave of absence.” With a frown, Micah focused on the mural, fingering the handle on his coffee mug.
Wells peered at Micah. “What’s the leave for?”
“I’d rather not say.” Micah’s jaw clenched.
“Okay.” Wells cocked his head and lifted his brows at me, then his attention returned to Micah. “So, where are you from?”
“I grew up in Palo Alto.” The corners of Micah’s mouth twitched.
“That’s around here somewhere, right?” Wells sipped more coffee.
“He’s lived in this area his whole life,” I said, drinking my coffee. Anything to get Micah talking.
The waiter dropped off our food and orange juice. “Anything else I can get you at the moment?”
I looked at the food-filled plates on the table. “No, looks good.”
“Okay, enjoy.” The waiter jogged off.
Wells picked up his fork and knife and cut into his crepe with a wide smile sweeping over his face. “So, did Ash tell you how we met?” He glanced at Micah.
“No.” Micah sipped his orange juice.
“I was getting bullied at school. What was it, fourth grade?” Wells tossed a smile at me. “And Ash stepped right up to this kid and punched him in the face.”
Micah laughed with his hand over his mouth. “Really?” He took a bite of the crepe.
Wells was such a scrawny kid back in the day. Since then, he’d filled out nicely. I pursed my lips. “The kid was calling you a pussy. I wouldn’t put up with that.”
Wells swallowed his food and gestured with his fork. “See, I always had long hair and the other boys thought I looked like a girl.” He scoffed. “My mom was a hippy and wouldn’t cut my hair.”
Micah shrugged. “You have nice hair,” he said. “Looks like it’s cut the same as Ash’s.”
I looked at Wells, and he caught my gaze. “Oh, yeah.”
“Wells copied me.” I smirked at him. “His hair was almost down to his ass until he cut it right before the tour.”
“I did not copy you.” Wells scoffed. “Anyway, Ash sort of became my hero at that point.” He chuckled. “We’ve always been together.”
I cut into a crepe. “It was Wells’ hippy mother that got me listening to all the great bands from around here. Her favorite was Jefferson Airplane.”
Wells nodded, chewing. “Yep. Still is.”
Micah stared at his food.
“We started playing in a band together when we were fourteen, along with my brother.” As I sipped my orange juice, my gaze caught on Micah. What was he thinking about all this? He seemed off.
“So, you knew Ash’s brother?” Micah fixated on Wells, shifting toward him.
“Yeah, I knew him really well. He was like a brother to me, too.” Wells let his smile fade. “I’m guessing you know what happened to him?”
“Yes, I do.” Micah touched my arm. “It’s sad when people become addicts.”
“Sure is.” Wells cut more of his crepe and sighed. “So, you two have been surfing?”
“Yeah. Ash isn’t very good at it.” Micah snickered.
“Hey.” I tossed Micah a quick glare. “I’m doing all right.” Guess whatever he was thinking before, he was doing better now.
Wells chewed a forkful of crepe and took a sip of coffee. “Well, more power to you. That is something I don’t even want to try.”
“Why not? It’s fun.” Micah cut into his crepe.
I gazed at Wells. “He almost drowned one time. Ever since, he hates the water, let alone the enormous waves in the ocean.”
“You almost drowned?” Micah looked Wells over.
Wells nodded, chewing.
I drank some coffee. “We were at summer camp and they were making us do swimming lessons on the lake, even though there was a storm, and the waves were huge.”
Wells held up a bite of crepe, his gaze unfocused. “A wave hit me in the face, and I swallowed a bunch of water. I tried to cough it out, but when I took another breath, another wave hit,” he said. “I went under.”
“He scared the shit out of me. I saw him go down under the water.” My smile waned. “I almost jumped in after him, but the camp counselor jumped in first. When they got him out of the water, they had to resuscitate him.” It still messed with me. I shook it off.
Micah widened his eyes. “Wow, you two sound like you’ve been through a lot.”
Wells gave me a warm grin. “Yeah, we have.”
I pushed food around on my plate. All these memories I had with Wells...everything we’d shared. How was Wells really feeling right now, knowing that I’d found someone else that was important to me? How would I feel if Wells had found someone? I watched him.
Wells rested his head in his hand, propped up by his elbow on the table, staring down at his food. His fork rested on his plate.
“Um, are you two okay?” Micah’s attention flicked from me to Wells.
Wells let a crooked smile spread over his mouth. “Of course. We’re here in this beautiful place and we’re going to make the best music we’ve ever made. Right, Ash?” He lifted his hand from the table enough to slap my shoulder.
“Right.” Wells always had a way of lightening a tense situation. I smiled at him.
“So, what’s on the agenda today?” Wells cut into his crepe.
I sipped some coffee. I really needed to get some songs flushed out, but maybe time on the beach would help Micah accept Wells. “How about we work on some music this afternoon, then maybe grab some beer and have a fire on the beach?”
Micah stared at his plate with knitted brows.
I took him in. His mood had changed again. This situation might be harder to navigate than I thought.
Wells stood from the table. “I’ve got to piss. Be right back.” He left down a hallway.
I twisted in my chair to face Micah. I should address this head on. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know that I want to spend every waking minute with your friend Wells.” He huffed.
“Micah, he just got here. Give it a chance. I’m sure he won’t want to spend all his time with us, either.” How could I make this right? I grabbed his hand.
“Well, what else is he going to do? He’s staying at your place and you two need to work on music.” He turned his head to gaze out the windows toward the parking lot. “I’m sorry. I’m being selfish. But you and I were just getting to know each other.”
“Are you jealous?” That was one thing I could put to rest. I shifted position, trying to see his face, but couldn’t. “Look at me. Are you?”
He twisted to face me, wrinkling his forehead. “Well, yes. Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked. “It sounds like you two share everything and you’ve been having sex with him. And now he’s going to spend a week living in your apartment. How am I supposed to feel?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came. He was right, again. I needed him to trust me. I had lied to him about the situation, after all. “I’ll ask him to get a hotel.” Maybe I’d have to give up on this point.
“No, don’t do that. He’ll know it’s because of me and I don’t want that.” He let out a quick exhale. “Just leave it as it is. I’ll be okay. I’ll figure it out.”
“You sure?” I shook his hand. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” Leaning in, and placed a long, passionate kiss on his lips. Against his ear, I whispered, “How about a proper blowjob?”
He squirmed in his chair and ran his tongue over his lips. “That works.”
Wells took his seat at the table and looked us over. “Everything okay?”
Micah smirked at Wells. “Yes, it’s fine.”
* * *
Later that day, Micah sat in a blue tufted chair in the main room of my apartment, while Wells and I sat on the couch, me with my acoustic guitar in my lap and Wells with his bass. We’d plugged both guitars into separate practice amps on the floor next to us.
I strummed the guitar a few times and stopped. “This is where I want you and Dilan to come in.”
Wells nodded. “Okay, I get it.”
Micah yawned, resting sideways in the chair with his head on the back.
My gaze cut to him. “Hey, why don’t you go take a nap? You seem pretty tired,” I said. “Well, and pretty bored.” I glanced at Wells and chuckled.
Wells grinned.
Micah lifted his head. “Good idea.” He rose from the chair, walked to me, and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Come and wake me when you’re done.”
I squeezed Micah’s hand. I’d wake him all right. My mind raced with images of giving Micah a blowjob, and I adjusted my shorts. “I will. Don’t forget, we’re having a fire on the beach tonight.”
“I know.” Micah yawned again. “I’m going over to my place. It’ll be nice and quiet.”
“Sure.” My gaze chased him as he stepped to the door and left with a soft click.
“You wanted to call Jeff at some point, right? Maybe now would be a good time.” Wells plucked a few notes on his bass guitar.
“Yeah.” I stood, slid my cell phone out of my pocket, and called Jeff. As I looked out my patio doors at the rolling waves beyond the bluffs, I pressed the cell phone to my ear.
The phone rang twice. “Hi, Ash.”
“Hey, Jeff.” I glanced at Wells. Jeff sounded happier than his usual frenzied self. He’d probably needed the time off, too.
Jeff released a warm laugh. “It’s good to hear from you. How’s it going? You getting some rest?”
“Yeah, it’s going well. I’m definitely getting unwound.” I was getting unwound in more ways than one. I curled my lips in a smirk and paced from one side of the glass doors to the other. “Hey, I have something I need to talk to you about.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“I met someone.” I inhaled deeply. “A guy.”
“And?”
“And it’s sort of complicated, but it’s something I want to pursue.” Wells didn’t really know how strong my feelings were for Micah. What would he think? My attention shifted to him, and his gaze caught on mine.
“Okay... So, why are you telling me this?”
“Would it be a problem, I mean, would anyone care, if it got out I was having a gay relationship?” I stopped pacing and focused on Wells. “I mean, more than the usual social media garbage.”
Wells fidgeted with the pegs on his bass.
“You mean by a real publication?” Jeff sighed. “Any serious relationship you have is going to be newsworthy. You’re the front man and everyone always wants to know who someone like you is fucking. It makes the guys envious and girls jealous.” He chuckled.
Heat flickered in my chest. “Shit.” I wanted to protect my relationship with Micah. “Seriously, it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but mine. I hate that shit.”
“I know, Ash. Settle down. It just comes with the territory. At least the target market for your music is more forgiving. If you were a Christian rock band, I’d say no way. But you guys being alternative rock, I don’t think it would affect sales a very much.” He let out a quick laugh. “Might even help sales.”
“Yeah?” I focused on the ocean waves.
“Well, if you come out with a gay relationship, you might consider becoming a speaker for the LGBTQ community. Many artists are,” he said. “I think what you have to consider is if you want to come out directly, or how you’d feel if someone wrote an article about it after seeing enough images and stories of you with the same guy on social media. You get what I mean?”
“Shit, I didn’t think about any of that.” Nothing was simple anymore. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I actually just want to be myself when I’m out in public with this guy, no matter where we are.”
“Are you getting noticed out there?”
“A little. Not too much.” It didn’t seem like anything I couldn’t handle, at least. I breathed out.
“Have you been with him at a club or anything where people might take more notice of you?” Jeff asked.
“No, we’ve been hanging low,” I said.
“Could anyone have seen you two together anyplace else, maybe doing things that regular guy friends wouldn’t be doing?”
Memories of the last few days flashed through my mind, the hand holding, the kissing, the times on the beach. “Maybe. We went to San Francisco yesterday. And well, we’ve been hanging out around town here.”
“Okay. Is this guy famous in any way? Is he a model, in another band, anything like that?” Uneasiness laced Jeff’s voice.
“No. He’s a software engineer at Tesla.” How would Micah handle something like this? I snapped my brows together.
“Okay, so you probably need to have a conversation with him about how being with you might expose his life. It’s not something he’ll be used to.”
Expose? “Oh, shit.” The suicide in Micah’s condo... “This might not be good.”
“Why? Talk to me. What’s up?” Jeff’s voice lowered.
My heartbeat quickened. “He went through something pretty awful. If that ever got out, it could be terrible for him.”
I understand you were the one to find Lane Oakley. Can you tell me more... I clenched my teeth. That reporter had no business asking me those questions.
Jeff said, “You’ll need to tell me exactly what that is.”
“I can’t.” This is bad. I shut my eyes tightly.
“You have to, Ash. I need to know, so I have a plan in place for it.”
I scowled. “Damn it. Okay.” There was no other way. I peeked at Wells and lowered my voice, covering the phone with my hand. “His former lover committed suicide in the kitchen of his condo, right in front of him. He shot himself in the head. This was after he broke up with the guy. It was only a few months ago, and he’s still trying to recover from it.”
Wells gasped and rose from the couch, setting his bass down to rest against it. “Holy shit.”
I stared at Wells with my mouth open, holding my hand out. “You didn’t hear that.”
Jeff exhaled. “That sounds like it could make things pretty tough for him.”
“Okay, but you can make a plan for it, right?” There had to be a way around this. I grimaced and rubbed my temple, pacing across the floor.
“I think so. You’ll have to find out if the news reported the incident. Often, it isn’t. If it wasn’t, it’ll be a lot easier to keep buried.”
“Okay.”
Wells furrowed his brows, stepped to me, and placed a hand on my shoulder, fixating on me.
“So talk to him and find out if someone reported it. In the meantime, I’d say to be careful. Don’t take the guy into a club in San Francisco and make out,” Jeff said in a teasing tone. “Tell me what you find out.”
“Okay. Thanks. Bye,” I said.
“Bye.”
I hung up the phone. What else could go wrong today? My attention shifted to Wells. “Shit.”
“So, the thing that happened to Micah, is his ex-lover shot himself in the head in front of him?” His gaze searched my face.
“Yeah. But you can’t say anything. Don’t let him know you know. He’d freak out. It’s still pretty raw for him.” Seems I’d betrayed Micah’s trust a second time. Was I on course to hurt him yet again? My hands trembled. I held one up and watched it shake.
Wells seized my hand. “Sit down.” He led me to sit on the couch and dropped in beside me. “So, is this why Micah took a leave of absence from work?” He looked me over, as if assessing me.
I had to make Wells understand how important it was to not let on what he knew. “You really can’t let him know I told you about this.”
“I won’t say a word. You can trust me. You know that.” He tightened his hold on my hand.
I gazed down at the hand wrapped in Wells’. I knew Wells. I could trust him. I’m the one who’s apparently untrustworthy. “Not only did the guy blow his brains out in front of Micah in his kitchen, but the guy left all his money to him, too. So, Micah has some heavy guilt.” It was so easy to talk to Wells. I sighed. “He’s out here getting away from everyone and everything and trying to get over it.”
“Great, and I see you may be in too deep.” He tsked.
I tilted my head to the side. “Wells...”
“Ash, I haven’t seen you shake like that since Lane died. I’m serious.” He scoffed. “Are you in love with him already?”
“I-I don’t know. I’m falling in love with him, I know that.” Even if I was in love already, admitting it to him was weird. A knot coiled in my gut. “What Jeff said wasn’t good. Being with me could expose him and what happened to him to the media. I think it’d tear him apart.”
“But what would that do to you?” he asked.
“Me?” I rocked once. “I’d be devastated.” But did it really matter? I could handle it. Micah couldn’t. I winced, pursing my lips. “I don’t want to see him hurt all over again, and I certainly don’t want it to be because of me.”
He peered at me. “Are you sure you’re not in love?”
My gaze drifted to the rolling waves of the ocean outside the patio doors, the wisps of fog. Pressure squeezed my heart. “Maybe I am.” How did Wells really feel about all of this? It wasn’t something I could ask right now. I refocused on him. “How am I supposed to talk to Micah about this? What if he wants to end it?” My eyes stung. I couldn’t let Micah end it. “Damn it.” I rubbed my eyes.
“I guess that’s a chance you’re going to have to take. I mean, talk to him about this. He deserves to have a choice.” He tensed his face. “Come here.” He wound his arms around me and dragged me into his chest.
I laid my head on his shoulder, allowing the familiar embrace to calm me. “I’m scared, Wells.”
“I know.” He tightened his hold on me. “Love is scary. That’s why I stay as far away from it as I can.” He let a soft laugh escape him.
Guess I had my answer about his feelings. It didn’t surprise me. I lifted my head. “I’ll talk to Micah tomorrow. I don’t want it to ruin our beach fire.” I breathed out.
“Okay.” He released me and picked up his bass from the edge of the couch. “How about we work on music for now? Maybe figuring out this damn song will help you get your mind off it.”