6. Playback
SIX
playback
I look everywhere I can except into Brianna’s eyes as I approach the blanket with nerves so strong I can barely stand.
For the past hour I’ve watched her doing her lip-sync thing from down the hill. The director and the camera operator were practically in her face the whole time getting close-ups. She danced on the blanket, kneeled while swaying with her hands in her hair, then rolled all over the ground. I’m not sure why, but I felt embarrassed for her. I don’t get the vibe she enjoys any of what they’re asking her to do at all, but she goes along with it anyway.
The funny thing is, this video seems nothing like the others she’s made. And I’ve literally seen them all. Each song of hers has a fantasy attached to it, made tangible in her videos. The lighting, the costumes, the setting ... everything is created to make her seem angelic or like a dream come true—someone that no one could possibly have in real life.
But this whole video shoot is so real it’s unnerving. Her outfits have been T-shirts and shorts, no bling or sparkle on any of them. Her makeup has been minimal, no heavy face paint like I saw in every picture of her I found. We’ve filmed in barracks and a park, not some mansion or private tropical island. It’s as if they want this video to look more like a home movie than a fantasy.
Oh. Damn, why didn’t I realize this before? Like Char said, they’re using this video to paint us as a real couple. Home movies would do that. Shit. I’m an idiot.
Now here I am, about to have my hands all over her, for the sake of ... her safety? This is seriously messing with my head, because holy shit , she’s so beautiful. Especially during this shoot, where they have her looking like she’s actually attainable for a normal guy like me. I’m no player—I’ve got no moves or smooth lines to drop on her. I can’t woo someone like Brianna to save my life. All I have are these phony scenes made to look like the real thing, and the lines are becoming too blurred for my own good.
Which is why I can’t look her in the eye. If I see her react, I’ll misread everything she does. Then I’ll overthink everything I do. And that will be the end of my sanity. The end of making this whole scam look real. I can’t do that to her—not after I’ve seen how her fears are eased when I’m with her.
“Okay, you two. This is the culmination of our project. We’ll start with the cameras set back a little like yesterday’s karate scene. You just do what comes naturally, and then we’ll choose a few moments for close-ups later.”
The director, some guy named Bryant, sure does like us to improvise.
Brianna nods, which I feel more than see, because nope, still not looking at her. I take a spot on the blanket and cross my legs. It’s a really awkward and unnatural position for me. What would I do if this were a real date? Not sit cross-legged and keep my eyes off my girl, that’s for sure. I uncross everything and stretch out, reclining a bit on my elbow. Brianna lies on her back—not right next to me, but close enough that my arm almost touches hers. I turn my head toward her, looking at her arm instead of her face, because I still don’t trust myself. A gentle breeze carries the scent of her lotion or perfume into my space, floral and sweet. We stay as we are, unmoving, for the time being. I guess now we wait for the director to yell “action.”
A few tense minutes pass, both of us silently waiting. I figure the tension is all on my side of the blanket until I hear Brianna blow out a shaky breath. I’m tempted to look at her face, but I keep it in check and look at her shoulder instead. I’m not sure why she’s tense about this scene. She does more than this in her videos all the time. I’ve seen plenty of oiled-up, shirtless guys putting their hands all over her with a hungry look in their eyes. Here I am, in a blue T-shirt and plaid board shorts, no oil in sight, and I have a feeling this realistic home movie-style video will be way less sexual than her usual stuff. She should be completely relaxed at this point.
“Playback!” the director yells, then the intro to Brianna’s song starts, and I feel myself start to sweat.
This is really happening.
My eyes travel from her shoulder to her hair. I love her hair. It looks so soft, and all I’ve wanted to do for days is run my fingers through it. I’m a fucking mess around her, certainly no alpha male “claim the-woman I lust after” kind of guy. It occurs to me that’s probably why they chose me over the other guys at the audition. I’m safe.
That thought does two things to my emotions at the same time. I relax knowing they trust me ... and silently freak out knowing they trust me.
Damn it , I need to pull myself together.
The music continues, Brianna’s recorded voice singing the intro. My eyes glide to her lips, watching as she mouths the words along to the track.
Horrible plan.
The worst.
Her lips are more tempting than her hair, but I can’t look away, because she isn’t lip-synching this time. She’s singing. It’s so quiet I know I’m the only one who can hear her. But damn times a billion if this doesn’t absolutely slay me .
I watch, fascinated, wholly intoxicated by her mouth and her soft voice. I’m not even taking in the actual words until I notice her mouth turn slightly in my direction. She’s facing me, still singing. Forcing me to take in the words.
No stars, no sight
The dark of night
I’ve lost what’s right
In front of me
My heart starts to beat faster. I’m barely aware of my surroundings while I watch her mouth. Suddenly, I’m no longer propped up on my elbow. Instead I stretch next to Brianna, one arm under my head and the other barely touching her arm, without realizing what I’m doing. I’m hypnotized.
The sounds, the fall
I’d lost it all
But find it in your eyes
. . . Finally
I still haven’t looked into her eyes, but I know I’m about to lose the fight any minute now, especially as Brianna starts singing the last part. The part I know by heart already.
You’re all I see
When you look at me
I’m finally free
Because you’ ve rescued me
That does it.
My eyes travel up from her lips to her cheeks, which are slightly flushed. Then, finally, I look at her eyes, only to notice she isn’t looking at me; she’s looking at my lips. Damn, woman! How am I supposed to handle this?
I’ve been holding back so much that every thought and emotion tied to Brianna over the past week has been locked away. Now, however, as the music plays and Brianna sings, basically to me, I let the thoughts drown me. Deep down I realize this isn’t real, whatever it is I’m feeling. I don’t know her. She doesn’t know me. It’s physical attraction and nothing more.
But here we are, in this strange deal, trying to make it look legit. And the only way I can do that is by actually showing something real.
So I give in to every real temptation I’ve held on a leash until now.
My eyes float away from hers, once again finding her hair. Fully untethered, I reach for one of her wavy locks flowing past her shoulder. And damn, if it isn’t as soft as I imagined. I twist it around my finger and let the silky strands slip away before brushing my hand gently across her shoulder. Her gentle singing pauses, then she gasps the same way she did yesterday, when I dropped my tunic. Naturally, I’m drawn to look at her. First her mouth, then her eyes.
Problem. Big problem.
She’s looking at me. She’s closer than I realized. When did she move in my direction? Or did I move closer to her? Before I can figure it out, her hand touches my face, caressing it. She stops singing, her eyes set on me. At this point, the lock I was keeping on my attraction is long gone. I’m letting everything show.
My eyes fix on hers, palms sweating and my heart in my throat. We’re inching closer to each other.
Her eyes drop back to my lips as her hand moves to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. The only thought rushing through my head is that Brianna doesn’t kiss during her videos.
Except for this one.
Her eyes flutter closed as her mouth touches mine. Contact. I’m frozen for a moment, too surprised to react. Then I feel her lips move the slightest bit, and the rest of my restraint snaps. I wrap my hand around her back, the other holding her head. The only sound I can hear now is the blood rushing through me. My fingers fist the back of her shirt, pulling her closer as our mouths dance together. She grips my shirt as much as I grip hers. Without conscious thought, my tongue darts out, touching the seam of her lips. To my shock and utter joy, Brianna’s mouth opens on contact, and it’s on.
Tingles shoot through my entire body.
I’m dizzy. My heart couldn’t possibly be pounding harder than it is now.
The frenzy between the two of us is impossible to control. What is this? Fuck, I don’t want it to stop. Ever. She’s intoxicating. I’m intoxicated, simply by her kiss, her mouth, her hands on my back. It’s not even an overly sexy kiss; relatively speaking, this kiss is tame. But hot damn, if it isn’t the best kiss of my life.
“Cut!”
What the hell?
I pull away from Brianna the second I hear the director, suddenly remembering we’ve been surrounded by the crew this whole time, even though they’ve been at a distance. I glance at her, both to check if she’s feeling the same thing I’m feeling and, well, because I like looking at her.
She’s blushing, so she must have experienced at least a fraction of what I did.
I keep my eyes on her, willing her to look up at me, because now she’s the one who won’t look me in the eye.
So, of course, now I’m worried.
“Yeah, that was hot! Great improvising. Totally in the moment—felt it all the way back here. Let’s try that again so we can get a close- up shot.” Bryant is standing next to the blanket now, no clue as to the turmoil going on in front of him. He directs one of the camera guys to get the shot set up, basically in our faces.
Perfect.
How in the hell can we pull this off when she won’t even look at me now?
Bryant steps away to discuss who knows what with some crew guys, and Char chooses this instant to come over. Thankfully, she’s in whisper mode—which, honestly, I had no idea was even possible for her.
“Bree, don’t let it get to you. This will work, especially after that display. Just give him one take. I’ll get Bryant to back off after if you need me to.”
I stare at Char for a minute, taking in her words. Was this whole thing planned? The kiss, the looks? Did they orchestrate this without me? I was just ... me. That was as real as it gets.
I look back at Brianna and wonder how good of an actress she really is.
This is what you signed up for, Zack.
I need to man up, because I’ve known all along this isn’t real.
“Yeah. Once more should be enough,” I say, trying to lighten the tension.
Brianna nods, still not looking at me.
The director and the camera crew get all set up, about ten other crew members standing around us now. Brant says, “Action!” and the music is cued up. We basically go through similar motions, but it’s not the same. The second he shouted “cut” earlier, the magic was gone. This time, we don’t make eye contact. She won’t look at me. There’s no racing heart, no tingles. I press my lips to hers, and it feels exactly like a staged kiss. No heat, no energy. No emotion. I’m not sure where all of that went, but whatever was going on before has vanished.
But isn’t that what magic does? Vanish into thin air.
By the time the shoot is over, I’ve kissed her six more times. Six. Not one of those kisses contained the heat the first one did. If this deal’s going to work out, we have to get past whatever that was, because this tension is unreal. I’ve got to be the one to fix it. If I can show her that everything between us is cool, maybe she’ll relax and stop feeling so uncomfortable.
As we get up from our fake picnic, I grab her hand to help her stand.
“Well, I have to say, that was a first for me. Never kissed such a gorgeous girl with a camera in my face.” I add a little laugh at the end for emphasis.
Brianna looks up at me. I’m not sure what I expect to see, but I realize I’m disappointed. There’s no emotion on her face or in her eyes, except maybe embarrassment. Yeah, if that doesn’t make me feel like a complete douche ...
“Hey.” I lean down to her. “Don’t worry, okay? Like Char said, this will only help things for the whole dating story.” My hands gently knead her shoulders, trying to reassure her as best I can. Even though I’m absolutely getting used in this scenario.
“I know.” She closes her eyes. “I’m just not good at this kind of thing. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Bree.”
Her eyes fly open when I use the nickname Char uses. I didn’t even ask if it was okay. I figured a boyfriend would have a nickname for her, and Bree is a good one.
I watch as her features soften. The clouds in her eyes part. Then she actually smiles her tiny smile.
We’re quiet for a beat, both of us looking at each other. The smallest hint of the playful energy we shared earlier makes a return. She’s the first to speak.
“So, when are you moving in?”
Oh, right. I hadn’t thought through to that point, but I guess that’s the plan.
“Is tomorrow too soon? I mean, it is our one-week anniversary. But maybe I should take you on a date first.” I’m trying to be playful with her to keep the atmosphere light, but it comes out a little breathy and desperate instead.
Wouldn’t you know it, that’s what finally puts a full-blown grin on her face. And it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Honestly.
“Are you asking me out, Mr. Cowboy?”
I can’t help but laugh. How in the world did I get here? “I guess I am, Ms. Diva. What do you say?”
“How could I refuse?” She’s still smiling.
I can’t help but wonder if this whole plan will blow up in my face, especially with our first kiss imploding the way it did.
Only one way to find out.
“You can’t,” I whisper in her ear. “It’s already a done deal.”