13. Bossy Pants
THIRTEEN
bossy pants
“Was this a stupid idea, or ...?” I ask as we round the first corner of the trail.
Bree is walking next to me, not exactly huffing and puffing, but I can tell she’s exerting herself. On the other hand, I’m holding back, not wanting to push her too hard.
“No, no. It’s a great idea.” She pauses to take a few breaths. “I’ve never been up here before.”
I look over at her. “Really? I mean, isn’t this a thing in LA?” It’s the whole reason I chose to come here over any other date we could have gone on. I’m always seeing celebrities with their dogs and significant others photographed here. The hike to the Hollywood Sign is pretty iconic.
“I guess so. I’ve just never had anyone want to make the trip.”
She sounds winded as we walk. It’s been about ten minutes, and I already think we need to take a break. We’re surrounded by woody brush and the light fragrance of wildflowers as we ascend the hill, but as strong as the flowers smell, they’re nothing like the distinctive scent of Brianna’s perfume. Gardenias, I’ve learned. An occasional breeze accentuates it, along with offering some relief from the heat of the sun. I’m feeling parched, and I bet Brianna is too .
I pause by the edge of the trail and pull out some water from my backpack. “Here.” I hand her a bottle.
“You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?” Bree smiles as she holds the water.
I watch as she puts the opening to her lips and takes a long drink.
The weather hasn’t reached its peak today, but being in the direct sun makes it feel ten times hotter. If I’m honest with myself, so does watching Brianna drinking water. Her lips as they wrap around the opening. The movement of her neck as she swallows ...
“Zack?”
Her voice causes my eyes to refocus. And now I see she’s staring at me, holding the bottle out for me to put away. Sheesh , I must have zoned out.
“Oh, yeah. Ready to keep going?” I pull it together long enough to put the water away and take a few steps back onto the trail. I picked a moderate route since Brianna has never been here at all. Being the one to take her to the Hollywood Sign for the first time is a privilege.
“Ready. Let’s do this.” She falls into step beside me as we continue winding through the trail. I make sure she stays in the middle of the path, keeping away from the brush and possible rattlesnakes.
Of course, I don’t tell her this. She might be less excited about this date if she thinks her life is in danger. Which it isn’t. As long as she stays out of the bushes.
“How long will it take to reach the top?”
“Depends on how fast we walk. But I’ve got something else planned when we get up there,” I tell her with a wink.
She laughs a little, which always gets my heart racing. I love seeing her happy, and she seems to be feeling it more often.
“Okay, I’m up for this. Let’s pick up the pace.”
We walk side by side for the next while, just taking in the view that’s starting to make an appearance the higher we ascend. The hills roll down below as the rest of the valley view spreads out further with each step. The Hollywood Sign in all its glory becomes larger and larger as we make our way.
“I never think about how huge this thing is when I’m sitting in my office or on my deck at home. But obviously, it has to be big enough to see across the entire area.”
“It’s easy to forget about the details when it’s always right in front of you,” I say as we continue hiking.
Brianna keeps her eyes on the sign, but my eyes are on her. I don’t think I could forget any of the details that make up this woman.
“It’s funny. I love looking at this sign for the dumbest reasons, and now that it’s right in front of me, I realize how dumb they are.” She speaks quietly, almost to herself. But I hear her.
“What dumb reasons do you have?”
My words pull her attention back to me, and the look on her face confirms what I was thinking. She wasn’t really saying it to me, just thinking out loud.
“Sorry. You don’t have to tell me.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m embarrassed now that I’ve ever had these thoughts. So shallow. But as a kid, like most people who grow up dreaming of performing and being successful at it, this sign was the goal. Moving to Los Angeles was a dream. Once I got here, I had to keep this sign in view to remind me that I’m here, I made it. The hard work and sacrifices were worth it.”
I listen as she makes her confession. But I can’t keep quiet once she’s done.
“How in the world is that a dumb reason? You did make it, and you should be proud. But your reasons say more about you than simply wanting success. You also need to remember who you are and where you came from. That’s the furthest thing from dumb I’ve ever heard.”
Brianna doesn’t say anything else. The look on her face, however, tells me a lot. She seems surprised and maybe a little reflective. I don’t think she sees herself the way I do. And that’s really sad.
The vibe feels different after our talk. Not bad, but Brianna is obviously somewhere else in her head after what I said. I let her ponder whatever it is she’s working through as we silently continue our hike.
“I can’t believe you planned all this,” Brianna says as we find a spot to sit at the peak of the hill, behind the sign.
I lay out a small blanket and start pulling out some of the food I packed. The first of a few surprises I have in store.
“It’s not that big of a deal. Hiking and snacks seems pretty basic, actually.” I pull another container out of my backpack as I talk. Brianna grabs one and opens it.
“Berries, trail mix, flatbread, and hummus? Not that basic. Most guys would have grabbed a bag of chips and some sodas. Or nothing at all.” She shakes her head. “I think this is on a level way past basic.”
“I don’t drink soda. Or eat chips. So this is my version of basic, I guess.” I have to laugh looking at my healthy options. She’s right though. I’m picturing Jacob on a hike like this. He’d have a candy bar for sure.
“I wondered about your diet. I never see anything remotely tempting going into your mouth.”
I choke on the water I’m drinking. Then I look at Bree, and we both laugh.
“Well, that sounded awkward,” she remarks once our laughter has died down. Then she’s quiet again for a minute before she asks what must be twisting around in her mind. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”
Without hesitating, I answer. “I mean everything I say to you. ”
She nods. “That’s good to know.” Then she looks at me, hard and direct. Our gazes lock in a way that causes more heat to build around us. I lean in closer, not able to help myself, and grab a lock of her hair. It’s what I did the day we were filming. The day she kissed me while we were lying on a picnic blanket. I wasn’t thinking about that day when I planned this date, but suddenly, everything feels so familiar. And the desire to feel her lips against mine once again is overwhelming.
Bree doesn’t break our gaze. Her lips fall open slightly the second my fingers twirl the lock of her hair. She doesn’t look at my mouth like she did that day, and I find myself wondering whether she’s remembering it or not. I’m almost afraid to ask.
But I can’t stop the forward motion as I lean closer once again. It’s unconscious now, my body moving without any thought. I unwrap her golden lock, letting the curl out of my grasp, and move my hand to her face, caressing her cheeks. A whisper leaves my lips, also without any thoughts or direction, the words pulled out of me by some unseen force.
“I’ve meant everything, Bree. Every time.”
And then I kiss her. It’s gentle—nothing like the kiss for the video. My lips lightly graze hers. She doesn’t pull away, but she also doesn’t lean into me any further. This kiss is real, not directed by an outsider trying to make us look like a couple, and yet it feels just as deep as the last time, even though we aren’t taking it any further. I don’t want to push her beyond her comfort level, especially when there are people around us. This is a public trail, and although it’s not too crowded, we certainly aren’t alone.
I pull away from her lips, realizing there are way too many thoughts flying through my mind. Thoughts I shouldn’t be having while I’m kissing this girl. I should only be thinking about her, not all this other crap. The guilt washes over me for not putting her feelings first. That was a shitty move on my part, making whatever we have a public display. I look down, but she reaches out a hand to grab mine .
“Don’t worry about it,” she says. “If they got a shot, they got a shot. It won’t hurt our story, that’s for sure.”
I raise my eyes to look into hers once again. Didn’t she hear anything I just said? None of this is for the cameras. It never was—not for me. Now I’m second-guessing every signal I thought she was giving me.
“That’s not it, Brianna.” I hear the defensiveness in my voice, but right now, I don’t really care.
“Oh? Then what’s wrong?” She sounds defensive too, with some other emotion mixed in.
“I just didn’t want ...” I’m not sure how to finish my sentence. I want to be honest with her always, but I’m not ready to put myself out there if I’m about to get shut down.
Is all this just business?
“Didn’t want what, Zack?” Brianna’s voice cracks.
I take her hands in mine. I need to man up, but I’m just as scared as she is.
She stills while I hold her. Our breathing relaxes slowly.
I can do this.
“I don’t want to you to get hurt by what people say or think. By the words printed about us that tell the story they want to tell. I want you to decide what people know, what they think. I don’t want to be the reason people speak badly about you.”
Her eyes soften a little. “Zack, it really doesn’t matter what people say. If they make up stories or tell lies. As long as you know me, and who I am, it doesn’t matter.”
As long as you know me. Those words seep into my heart, because truly, that’s all I want. And I have just the thing.
With a smile, I release her hands and turn to my backpack for the final item. When I take it out, Brianna laughs—a sound that fills my heart.
“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this!” She grabs the container from me and opens the lid. “These aren’t very healthy choices, Zack.” She points to the variety of flavored popcorn I brought.
“It’s all about moderation. I’ll stick with the sea salt. You can have the rest.”
“Dark and white chocolate drizzle? Caramel with peanuts? Kettle corn? Is there a flavor you left out?” She laughs again.
“Cheese and butter. The fat in those is actually higher.” I laugh along with her.
“Okay, same rules. One truth for one piece of popcorn,” Brianna says as she takes one of the chocolate-coated pieces. “We might be here a while.”
“We don’t have to eat it all right now.”
“But there’s so much I want to know about you. And so much I want to say.” She speaks quietly.
I’m not going to say no to that.
“Okay, I guess we should get started then. It will be dark before long. We have to leave by sunset. Trail rules.” I shrug as she throws popcorn at me. “Hey, you just threw away about six truths!”
“Fine, I’ll start then. Six truths. I’m an only child. I started singing when I was three. I’ve always wanted a dog. I got my GED instead of a diploma from high school. I hate loud talkers—they give me a headache. And I want to know everything about your ranch.”
“What kind of dog?” I ask, ignoring her request to know about the ranch. I’ll tell her, but one little popcorn kernel at a time.
She pops more popcorn into her mouth before answering. I guess that is one of the rules. “Jack Russell terrier.”
“Oh man, those are a pain to train! Scare the horses too.”
“You’ve had one?”
I eat a piece of popcorn. “Nope.” That’s the truth, so I earned my snack.
Brianna shakes her head. “Fine. But grab a handful and start talking.”
“So bossy.” I smirk and do as she commands.
“You have no idea.”
I quirk an eyebrow. Now I’m really looking forward to the popcorn game, because I want to learn all about Little Miss Bossy Pants and her demanding side. I think I’m going to like it.