20. Escape Reality
TWENTY
escape reality
We leave my apartment as soon as I get back from Brianna’s Hollywood Hills estate. Clinton has everything under control, the expert in the situation. I still have restless energy though. I’m anxious to get her away from this scene—away from the threat of whoever is after her—so we throw our bags into my truck and take off.
But leaving Char in my living room standing next to Jacob could pose as much of a threat as this stalker. The two of them have weird daggers for each other. I get the sense if they weren’t hating on each other, they’d be tearing each other’s clothes off.
“Did you ever find out what Jacob said to Char to create the nuclear winter between them?” I ask an hour into our day-and-a-half drive.
I let Brianna lead the conversation when we first left, but she’s folded in on herself, and I’m worried she’ll spiral. I need to engage her in a topic other than the weight of what we left back home.
“No. I was in your room when she got there. I did notice how frosty she was though. Char’s not usually like that.”
“I’m aware. She’s more cheerleader than Devil Wears Prada , but you could have fooled me when I got back.” I avoid mentioning where I got back from. Too triggering still.
Brianna sighs. “It’s my fault she’s got a mean streak at all. I’m sure she went after Jacob as a way to protect me.”
“Eh. He’s harmless. Remember what I said about Jack Russell terriers? If Jacob were a dog, that’s what he’d be.”
“Not trainable?”
I laugh. “Not even a little. He’s as stubborn as a mule. But he’ll bark at anyone who gets too close to his people.”
“The animal metaphors are strong today.” She smiles.
I feel like Superman seeing her smile. Like I’ve conquered her kryptonite as well as my own. I reach across the seat and grab her hand, hoping like hell this trip will be the perfect distraction for us both.
We’ve become friends, but last night the draw was so much more than friendship. She needed me in a way she hasn’t before, and feelings I’ve been growing for her since the beginning nearly did me in. I ached for her, pure and simple. And I want to believe it’s got nothing to do with the adrenaline of our harrowing escape, but I’m not acting on anything until I know what she wants.
Because I wanted to hunt the guy who tormented her down and end him. I wanted to take her away from any and all threats and keep her to myself. The fact we’re doing exactly that only a day later has me worried I’ll end up moving too fast with Bree and destroying her trust. I call on the self-discipline martial arts has trained in me for years to keep from doing what I shouldn’t.
Seven hours later, after working through a road-trip playlist and eating the healthy snacks I packed for the drive, we stop for the night at a cheap roadside motel. Once I’ve secured us a room—only one, strictly so I can keep her close and safe—we grab our bags and head in.
“I haven’t stayed in one of these since I was a kid,” she says as we walk into the shoebox of a room.
“Char would have a fit if she saw this place.” I look around, shaking my head. “It’s kind of a dump.”
To be fair, Brianna didn’t say a word when we pulled in. She didn’t give me any disgusted diva reactions like clicking her tongue or refusing to stay here. She just smiled and waited in the truck while I got us a room. But if Char found out ... she’d have my head.
“I always wanted to do a girls road trip and stay in cheap motels along the way. Thelma and Louise, without the tragic ending,” Brianna confesses as she pulls her bag fully into the room, setting it on one of the beds.
I made sure to get a room with two queens.
“Why didn’t you?” I sit on the other bed as she starts pulling beauty supplies out of her bag.
Brianna shrugs. “I got signed when I was sixteen. And then I had too many obligations, too much recognition to do anything reckless like a spontaneous road trip.”
“So we make this the trip. We already jumped in my truck spontaneously. And we had the playlist and snacks along the way.”
Brianna laughs quietly. It stirs something deep in my heart . “I guess this is close enough.”
“Well, what’s missing?” I stretch out across the bed, propping my head up on one elbow.
“Uh, Louise, for one.”
“I’ll be your Louise.”
Brianna side-eyes me, her lips spread in a thin line, but I ignore her skepticism.
“There, fixed. What else?”
Brianna turns to face me, crossing her arms in challenge. “Junk food.”
“Oh shit. You went there.” I rear back as though knocked out by her challenge. “However,”—I throw my hand up, pointer finger extended—“I can solve your dilemma.”
“Really? And how do you plan to do that?”
“Ever heard of a grocery store? I’ve been told they carry both healthy and junk food.”
Brianna stares back at me wide-eyed, speechless for ten seconds. “Oh,” she says. “I guess that works.”
I smirk, victorious. “It sure does.”
“Are you sure your stomach can handle the sugar?” Brianna holds a cookie out in offering. She’s been trying to get me to eat her selected junk since we made our bedspread picnic after a store run.
“I have had cookies before.”
“I’ve seen your version of cookies. Oatmeal cranberry, sweetened with applesauce.” Her tongue pops out while she closes one eye.
It’s true. My healthy alternative avoids processed sugar. “I can’t survive on popcorn alone.”
Brianna nods, fiddling with the package of cookies.
“Say it,” I order. I can tell she’s holding back.
After a deep breath, she looks at me and asks, “What truths would you tell?” She reaches across to the bag of dark chocolate drizzled popcorn and tosses it to me.
I hold a long, silent pause as I roll the bag between my fingers, debating. Brianna’s asking for me to bare my soul. I know she needs to feel like I trust her, and that she can trust me, so I take the plunge and hope her view of me won’t change too drastically.
“I was a nerd.”
“Um . . . yeah. I know.”
I shake my head. “You don’t though. I wasn’t just a karate nerd, or a bookworm nerd, or a nerd who got bullied by the tough crowd.”
“Okay. What brand of nerd were you?” Her eyes twinkle as she asks.
“A Star Wars nerd.”
“I can see it,” she says as she sizes me up. “Skywalker or Solo?”
I shake my head. She doesn’t know what’s coming, I can tell. “C3PO.”
Her jaw drops. “ What? Is that a thing? I figured girls channel Leia and boys channel the heroes or the villains. But ... the robot?”
I nod and shrug. “He knows all the languages, all the customs. He can pull a ratio out of his back pocket in nanoseconds. He’s loyal. He follows the rules until the rules don’t make sense. He’s honest to a fault and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone says about him.”
Brianna’s gaze softens. “You wanted to be him because he’s always unfazed.”
I look down. She gets it. “There’s a scene in Empire Strikes Back . He’s all in pieces, literally taken apart, but he’s still fighting back, still supporting his friends. He never got knocked down or discouraged.”
Brianna leans in, her hand covering mine in silent support. I feel her understanding rather than her sympathy or pity. Part of me wonders if she wishes she could be like C3PO too.
Her eyes lift to mine. “You do realize ...” She pauses.
I tilt my head, waiting for her to continue.
“... that he’s unfazed for one very simple reason, don’t you?”
“Such as?”
Brianna pulls her hand from covering mine and cups it next to her mouth. “He’s a robot.” Her stage whisper is louder than expected .
“Wha—” I start to complain, but then I still as Brianna breaks into a full-on belly laugh.
She’s laughing. It’s fucking breathtaking. I watch transfixed as her hand wraps around her middle before she dissolves into a fit of giggles. She gives in fully to the emotion, lying down on the bed with tears of laughter running down her face.
“I’m ... sorry.” She tries to draw a breath between words and laughs.
I lie next to her, wrapping an arm around her and pressing my hand to her back. I revel in the vibrations of her joy.
“Don’t be sorry.” Even I recognize the reverence in my voice.
Brianna’s giggles slow as her eyes find mine. Then they stop altogether as she takes in the look on my face.
It’s awe.
It’s me who leans in—the one who needs to show her how she makes me feel. Our lips touch, which is all it takes for us to snap. Then her arms wrap around me, mine around her, while our lips speak silent words to each other. We’re not as frantic as we were last night, nor as shocked as we were during the video. And yet this kiss is more. Because now she trusts me.
And her trust means everything.
She lifts her thigh to drape it across my hip, drawing me in. Closer. Our bodies press against each other as she tilts her head, allowing me to deepen the kiss. My hands slice into her hair, while hers claw across my back
We should slow things down. I don’t want to push her too far. So I pull my lips away from hers enough to speak, never losing contact.
“Let’s take this slow.”
Brianna doesn’t pull away, but she does cease all movement. My words have brought us to a skidding stop.
“I’m sorry,” I say, needing to offer an explanation. “I don’t want to push you too fast.”
“I want to be close to you.” Her words are whispered, vulnerable. Raw .
I brush my fingers along her jaw, caressing her warm skin. “I can’t get close enough to you. I want to hold you to me all night.”
Her eyes flutter closed. “Please.”
I pull her into me even more. My fingers linger near her ass, running tenderly along the waistband of her pants, before dipping under her shirt and finding the treasure of smooth skin on her back. “Is this okay?” I watch her face for a reaction, but there’s only blissful contentment on display.
“Yes.” Her head drops to the crook of my neck as our legs tangle together, closer than we’ve ever been.
And yet I’m desperate to be closer.
Soon. I’m showing her she can trust me, little by little. I refuse to push her beyond her comfort zone when we’re not even two days out from the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to her.
“I need you to hold me. Don’t let go.”
Her confession reassures me I’m on the right path.
“Never.”
For the rest of the night, I hold her in my arms like the precious gift I believe she is.
I hope someday she believes it too.