22. Pillow Talk
TWENTY-TWO
pillow talk
“Can you pass the butter, please?” my little niece asks.
Brooke’s tiny voice rings through the dining room. Her chubby hand reaches out to grab the butter from my mom, who looks on at her granddaughter with floating hearts in her eyes.
“Not too much now, Brooke,” Mandy warns her daughter. Being a mother to twins has her constantly putting out kid fires—things like too much butter on a biscuit—but she’s a complete natural. Motherhood suits her, just like it does my mom. Both of them are the glue that keeps their families together.
“Hush. Too much butter never hurt anyone,” my mom says.
“Unless you think a heart attack doesn’t hurt,” Mandy mumbles.
“She’s five.” My mom’s reply is clearly heard by all.
My dad clears his throat, but not the tension in the room. Mandy and Mom tend to clash on these types of things. But not usually when a guest is at the table.
“How long are you two in town?” Mike asks, directing his question to Brianna and me.
We’ve all been sitting at the table just long enough to pass the food around after the introductions and hugs I warned Brianna about. She seemed to be fine with everyone wrapping their arms around her, and no one made a big deal out of her celebrity status—which had worried me, to be honest. But when my twin niece and nephew, Brooke and Bryce, simultaneously hugged her, the glow on her face was priceless. I loved watching her light up around those two. Even now she’s looking over the table at them with the sweetest smile.
“Not sure how long, actually,” I answer Mike. “It depends on a few things playing out back home first.” I don’t want to get into the investigation Clinton is conducting. I don’t think Brianna wants to talk about it either.
Mike nods. “Any plans while you’re here?”
I sneak a look at Brianna. “I might have some ideas.”
Actually, I have several ideas of what to do while we’re here, for however long that may be. But I don’t want to tell her yet, so I keep my thoughts to myself.
Brianna peeks at me over her shoulder, her brow raised in silent question. I shrug my shoulders. I’m not giving her any hints.
“Well, we’re glad to have you for as long as you’d like to stay,” my mom says. “Now that only Elle is home, we have plenty of room. And I don’t think she’ll be back for a couple of days, based on her last text. Sounds like they jetted off to Salt Creek for an impromptu trip.”
Mandy groans. “Looks like I’ll have to take over the books for the ranch while she’s gone. A little heads-up would have been nice.”
“I can help. Can’t be too hard if she’s only gone for a couple of days,” Brandi offers. She lives on the other side of town but is here often. She manages one of the supply stores, but she isn’t the numbers wiz Elle is.
Mom doesn’t say anything. She can’t, really. Elle tends to leave without much warning. She’s the one with the accounting degree, and she handles all the business aspects of the ranch now.
“This roast is delicious, Mrs. Marin. I haven’t had anything so good in forever.” Brianna expertly changes the subject.
I reach under the table and squeeze her hand in thanks .
“Oh, call me Evelyn, dear. And thank you. It’s a family recipe.”
“It’s my favorite dish of hers,” I say to the table, because it’s everyone’s favorite.
Brianna smiles. She’s comfortable now, but I’m sensing something else going on with her that I can’t quite put my finger on. Some emotion she’s trying to hide. I could try to figure it out, but there are too many eyes on us for me to watch her closely.
“Well, now that their hands are all buttery, I’d better get these two into the tub.” Mandy wipes her hands while scooting away from the table. “Mike, help me walk them back home.”
I lean over to whisper in Brianna’s ear. “Mike and Mandy live in the back house.”
She nods in understanding.
“It was really nice to meet you, Brianna. I’m sure we’ll see you around tomorrow,” Mike says as he pulls Bryce along with him.
Mandy says her good nights as well, and their little family retreats home.
“There’s a couch with my name on it. And a football game about to start. Any takers?” My dad grabs his empty plate and rises from the table with a few more dishes in hand.
“I’m in,” Brandi says.
“Actually, Dad, I’m pretty tired. We drove for about eight hours today.” I am tired—I’m not just saying this to escape—but mostly, I need to check in with Brianna and give her a break from my overwhelming family.
“Okay, son. Get some rest.” He gives me a wink. I think he’s under the false assumption I’m trying to get Brianna alone.
Well, yeah. I am. I want nothing more than to be alone with her, to pull her in close like I did in the motel-room bed. I want to run my nose along the curve of her neck and hear the sharp intake of her breath as I do. I want to trail my fingers along her warm skin and show her how fucking special she is. I want her to trust me enough to let me. But here in my parents’ house, while they’re down the hall? I don’t think that’s something she’s ready for. Hell, I’m not sure it’s something I’m ready for.
I look at Brianna and nod my head toward the hallway—a little signal to scoot out.
“Oh, Evelyn, would you like some help with the dishes?” Brianna asks as we rise from our seats. It’s really nice of her to offer, but I already know how my mom will respond.
“No, no. You’re a guest.” She waves her hand at us, dismissing any assistance Brianna might offer.
I duck my head, knowing if I were to offer, she’d scoot my butt into the kitchen and hand me a sponge. But because I brought Brianna all the way to their Silver Valley ranch, she’s giving me a pass.
“You two go relax. I’ve got kitchen duty with your mom tonight,” Dad says as he slaps my mom on the rear.
I avert my eyes before I go blind.
“And it’s not often Zack brings a girl home,” he adds.
The embarrassment hits instantly. I cringe, right as Brianna whips her head in my direction, a sly smile twisting her lips to the side. I close my eyes and shove both hands deep into my pockets, lowering my head and trudging off to our rooms.
I’m silent as we make our way through the hallway, Brianna behind me. I sense she’s taking her time, looking at family photos displayed on tables and hanging on the walls.
“Is this you?” she asks, causing me to pause in my steps and glance at the photo.
“Yeah. Probably second grade.” Again I cringe at the bowl-shaped haircut my mom gave me in the kitchen, two missing front teeth and a face full of freckles. Thank goodness those faded over time. And the teeth grew in. And I stopped letting my mom cut my hair.
“You were so adorable!”
“Oh man, do you need glasses?” I laugh. Adorable is the last thing I was.
Brianna straightens up. “No, thank you very much. I can see just fine.” She smirks. It might be the first smirk I’ve seen on her face. I like it.
“Who am I to argue with a diva? Point taken.” I smirk back at her.
“Okay, let me see it.” Brianna marches to my bedroom door and crosses her arms. “I want to know what little Zacky was like growing up.”
I groan. “Did Mandy tell you to call me that?”
Brianna gives me a knowing smile. “Little Zacky” was my nickname for far too long. I don’t miss it, and I might kill Mandy for telling Brianna.
“Perfect. Looks like I’ll have one less sister come morning.” I sigh and decide I might as well get all the skeletons out of the closet. It was my brilliant idea to bring Brianna to the ranch, so now I guess I’ll have to pay the price.
The thing is, this really is the perfect place for Brianna to hide out. Our ranch is a good twenty-five-minute drive to town. And that’s from the front gate—not to mention the ten-minute drive through the property to get from the house to the road. No one will know she’s here, and I know I can trust my family. Even Elle won’t say a word.
“I guess this is the moment of truth. You’re about to find out what a nerd I am.”
Brianna scoffs and playfully pushes my shoulder as if I’m joking around. But I’m not. I really was a total nerd for most of my life.
I open the door and show her the proof.
My room hasn’t been touched since I moved to LA. I’m pretty sure my mom has been holding out hope I’ll give up and move back. I almost did, right before I met Brianna, but I think I’ll be in Hollywood for the long haul now. At least I hope so.
“Wow, you really liked karate. And the color black.” Brianna walks into the room with wide eyes. I knew this would be her reaction. “And C3PO.” She picks up a figurine of the character displayed under a poster of the same thing.
“I was pretty sick of the country life, so I wanted to be as far from that look as possible. You’ve seen the rest of the house.” I walk behind her, taking a seat at my old desk. I didn’t take much with me when I moved out, so things look basically the same as they did when I was in high school. The walls are black, as is all the furniture. I painted everything one summer, trying to psych myself up to earn my black belt. I wanted everything I saw to remind me of my goal so I’d push myself even harder. What can I say? It worked.
Brianna leans over my dresser and picks up one of the framed pictures. “Is this a girlfriend?” She turns to show me the photo.
I laugh. “No, I wish. That’s Colleen Mackenzie. I asked her to prom right after I won the Midwest Championship. I guess I was riding a high from the win, and people knew about it, so suddenly, I wasn’t Little Zacky anymore.”
Not going to lie, that part of my life sucked. It’s probably why I jumped at the chance to leave town and try something completely different.
“So not a girlfriend, just a date.” Brianna looks back at the picture. “But you liked her.”
“Hell yeah. I had a huge crush on her, and I was blown away when she said yes to prom. She’d just broken up with her long-term boyfriend.” Ross, the ass who tormented me all growing up. “But it ended there. She wasn’t into me, and that wasn’t going to change no matter how many championships I won.” I shrug again, glad to have moved on from those years.
Brianna puts the frame back on the dresser and scoots onto the bed, leaning back against the pillows. Then she looks over at me, long and hard. “She missed out, Zack. They all did. You’re a great guy. Probably the best guy I’ve ever met.”
My heart pounds. Knowing Bree even thinks of me this way has me stunned, but the fact she said that out loud ... I can’t help but move from my chair over to her. I prop myself up against the pillows next to her, bumping my elbow with hers. The contact, the heat from her skin I was dreaming about earlier, pushes my pulse to the limit.
I need to touch her .
Slowly, I uncross my arms and reach over to take her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers. “That’s why I left. Even though I went from a scared, scraggly little wimp to a champion on the mat, no one really saw me as anything different. The little runt was seared in their minds. Leaving, going somewhere new, was the only way to change that.”
Brianna’s fingers tighten around mine. “I’m so glad you did,” she says quietly, a vulnerable confession.
Our eyes lock, connected on a deeper level than they’ve been before. She’s seen the real me, heard about who I was in the past, and she’s still looking at me like this.
My free hand reaches across the space to cradle her cheek, my thumb gently brushing her skin. Without hesitation I lean in to kiss her. Tender, vulnerable kisses that tell her she’s as safe with me as I am with her. She looked at Little Zacky and saw the shy, lonely kid I was. And she didn’t turn away from him. She didn’t turn away from me.
“Thank you,” I whisper against her lips.
“You can trust me,” she says.
I nod. I’ve known I could trust her from the second I met her. Even before that. When I saw how raw she was during those video outtakes the day I got the callback, I knew she needed to feel safe. She was desperate for it.
I deepen the kiss, telling her I’m her safe place. I won’t hurt her. I won’t lie to her. I won’t throw her to the wolves. I said as much last night while she lay in my arms, but having her here with my family, showing her all the wounds of my past, I hope she believes it to her marrow now.