Phoebe
“ I can’t believe we’re flying coach. We’re supposed to be keeping a low profile,” groaned, sinking deeper into her snug airplane chair as the flight attendant informed them of the emergency exits and where the life jackets were.
“I didn’t think you’d be such a snob,” Axel said with a smirk.
That wasn’t what she meant.
“I’m not, but it’s a miracle someone hasn’t realised who we are.” She didn’t know how Axel sat so relaxed; she kept waiting for someone to ask for a picture or an autograph. Maybe throw another carton of eggs at them.
“You’d be amazed what people don’t see when they aren’t looking.”
“I love that your idea of being a master of disguise is wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap that has B.O.A.’s logo on it. Maybe you were a spy in a past life,” she teased, keeping her voice low so those behind couldn’t hear them.
“You wanted to leave as soon as possible, so I grabbed the last-minute seats. This was the earliest flight to Naples I could get, and if I’d tried to take the plane, Anita would’ve found out and then it would be her we’d be worrying about.”
“You’re right, but we might as well be sitting on each other’s laps.”
In the past, she didn’t mind economy, but the person beside her didn’t have any arm or leg space etiquette and all six-foot-something of Axel was taking up the rest of the space. She felt like she understood how the sausage in a hot dog felt.
“Feel free to hop on at any time.” He smiled, patting his thigh.
“Like that wouldn’t draw attention.”
His long legs took up half of her space, but at least he had switched and given her the window seat. She hadn’t even had to ask.
“Fame is an illusion. Act normal, and ninety percent of the time you get treated like you’re normal. We made it through security with only a few lingering looks, so you can relax now.” Axel settled into his seat while her nerves stood on edge. “It’ll be the fastest three hours of your life.”
She thought about telling him about her recent “fan mail”—he would be more concerned too, if people were sending him gift-wrapped razor blades. She shook away the thought; she wouldn’t punish him for what he didn’t know.
“Stop telling me to relax. It’s my face plastered all over the news and headlines, it’s my presence that’s likely to cause us trouble. You are the beloved drummer and I’m the pariah.”
“You aren’t a pariah, and with your new hair, no one will blink at you,” he assured her.
“Except for the woman at the gate who eyed my boarding pass and passport a little too long for comfort.”
“Refreshments?” An attendant interrupted them as he passed their row.
They both nodded.
“Two tequilas and orange please,” Axel asked.
“It’s not even twelve o’clock,” said, not being one for day drinking.
“If I can’t tell you to relax, then I can help you do so.” Axel took the drinks from the attendant and handed one to .
“What do I owe you?” Axel reached into his back pocket for his wallet. caught the steward checking over his shoulder. “On the house. It’s a pleasure to have you fly with us.” He winked knowingly. “I hate to ask, but if you could sign this for my boyfriend, he’ll just die.” He offered Axel a napkin and a pen.
While he signed, downed her drink. The sweet, tangy orange juice masked the burn of the tequila.
“Thirsty?” Axel eyed her empty plastic cup.
“Parched.” She took his from his tray table and tipped it back.
“Better?”
“Much.”
Wanting to distract herself, she focused on their plans once they landed.
“We can stay in the villa in Atrani—booking a hotel will only draw attention,” she reasoned, after the interaction with the attendant. “We’ll have more privacy, and it’s only a thirty-minute walk to Amalfi. I don’t want to give Anita a reason to kill us.”
“Are you sure? Won’t that be a bit difficult? A lot of fresh memories,” Axel asked, but what he meant was: was she okay staying in the place where Cillian had proposed?
“I have to face the place at some point. I need to go and figure out whether I want to sell the place or not,” she said, still unsure if she wanted to keep the reminder of a time when they’d been so happy. “It’ll be easier with you around to keep me company.”
He’d be the perfect distraction. Cillian had made her feel on edge and that was the excitement she’d thought she loved, but with Axel, she felt calm, at peace. It was unsettlingly different, but he was exactly what she needed right now.
“Just say the word and we can get out of there,” Axel said. “If you change your mind, I’ve booked a hotel.”
“Just one room?” she asked. They hadn’t kissed since that night on the couch, but they had slept together every night since.
“I booked a suite, so two rooms,” he explained, as though the thought had never crossed his mind.
She blushed for presuming, given their unspoken sleeping arrangement at home. Maybe I’m the one getting carried away with my feelings, and he was just trying to be a good friend. She didn’t know whether he was being respectful or if he was waiting for her to make the first move.
Given the early flight, Axel fell asleep with ease while she fretted over her feelings. Who knew tequila only fuelled her ability to overthink.
The drive from the airport to the villa had taken a little over an hour, not that noticed. She woke with her head on Axel’s shoulder. After escaping the airport in Naples without incident, she had drifted off in the safety of the hire car. Seemed the tequila only hit her when they landed.
“You’re drooling on my favourite shirt,” Axel said.
“I don’t drool.” bolted upright, staring out at the coastline. The sun had started to set as they had driven along the highway running the length of the Amalfi Coast.
“I’m only teasing, and I’m surprised you didn’t wipe out on the flight. The stress of being on the plane wore you out and the tequila probably helped. Two in the air is four on the ground,” he said, as she brushed off the embarrassment of having fallen asleep on him. It wasn’t the first time, and she doubted it would be the last.
Staring out at the beautiful views, they spent the rest of the drive in silence. The smell of the salt in the air and the sight of the town of Atrani tucked snugly between two mountains was the change of scenery she needed. Though she’d never thought that when she returned to paradise it would be with Axel.
When they arrived, there was no parking, so they walked up a small pathway and more than a dozen steps to get to the villa tucked into the mountainside. took the key from the envelope and opened the small gate. She felt worlds away from home, and the sight of the villa filled her with both excitement and trepidation, haunted by fond memories.
“?” Axel asked, and she realised she’d frozen in the hallway looking at the photos of them all together. It seemed like another life.
“Sorry, I was thinking of all that needs to be done.” She forced a smile and headed down the stone hallway and through the arch to the kitchen. Rowena had kept her promise and stocked up the fridge and presses.
“Are you sure you’re happy to stay?” Axel eyed her warily as though she was about to burst into tears.
“Perfectly,” she said. “I’ll feel better once I’ve finished getting everything organised.”
Regardless of what had happened with Cillian, she loved the quaint ocean-view villa.
“Remember to take some time to yourself while we’re here,” Axel reasoned, but she couldn’t relax, not when she was surrounded by the happy memories that now felt so tainted and distorted.
She nodded, taking down some of the more intimate couple photos from the wall.
“Do you want some help? You shouldn’t be doing this alone,” he asked.
“I’ll get through things faster if I don’t have to explain. Could you put my bags in the last room at the end of the hall? The room on the right has a nice balcony, if you want it,” she said, giving him the guest room. She’d stay in what was going to be her art room; it was once a guest room, but they hadn’t got around to removing the bed. She was also being greedy and taking the big balcony. Axel could have the mini one, but at least it was a room with a view. She didn’t want anyone staying in what had been her and Cillian’s room until she’d packed up what was in there.
Thankfully, Rowena had left the boxes she’d wanted, so she didn’t need to take an unnecessary trip into town. While she packed up Cillian’s belongings, Axel kept himself busy working away in the garden by the pool, so they weren’t stepping over each other. She needed some space to digest.
As she opened Cillian’s wardrobe, the scent of him nearly brought her to her knees. She pulled out the T-shirt he’d worn when he proposed, and remembered she still hadn’t decided what to do with her ring. Throwing it in the ocean felt like a waste and selling it didn’t feel right.
She threw out all the nonsense that didn’t need to be shipped home. She’d spent the whole afternoon sorting his from hers; she didn’t want Axel witnessing the life they had shared. It felt too personal, and having her someone go through her dead boyfriend’s stuff felt a little too twisted. She had to do it, for closure, to say goodbye to a future she would never know. A future she wouldn’t have had even if he had lived. She wasn’t sure which hurt more.
The only remaining evidence he had ever been there was the group photos she’d kept up. Though the shadow of the pictures of them as a couple lingered in the paint. Without the signs of him overwhelming it all, she wanted to keep the place. It could be an escape for all of them. She loved the privacy, and the view was incredible. It would be a nice place to paint in between shows.
Axel was floating in the clean pool as she finished labelling the last box. The leaf catcher lay filled by the pool, and she smiled, grateful for his help. When the trees shook off their leaves, Cillian had always complained or waited until the pool cleaner came, even if only for a couple of leaves.
“Let me help you.” Axel surprised her by appearing behind her.
“It’s fine, it’s the last one,” she said, trying to lift it, but her hand gave way. She cursed, shaking out her wrist. She waited for him to say ‘told you so’, but he just picked up the box and gave her a moment.
“Thank you,” she said, as he reappeared after putting the box with the others.
“Happy to help. Do you want an ice pack or some painkillers?”
“No, I’m okay, it was just a spasm. I did too much and now it’s a little numb. I can ice it later,” she told him. “Sorry I interrupted your swim.” She massaged her hand as they walked back to the pool.
“Please don’t apologise. I’m here if and when you need me,” Axel said, standing by the edge of the pool. “Not just for my good looks.”
She rolled her eyes as he dived back into the pool. “I didn’t realise so much time had passed. This is the last box; I want to get his stuff back home. Cillian moved more stuff here in anticipation of being here more often. I didn’t know he’d put together the art room for me.” Saying it aloud threatened to break her. How could he be so kind and considerate in one breath and disdainful and selfish in another?
“I saw that when I was putting away our bags,” Axel said, and she walked over to the lounger closest to him. “The room facing the ocean with a balcony. He wanted you to be able to sit out and paint, instead of being crammed in the guest room.”
“You knew about it?” asked.
“We didn’t always get along, but we did talk,” Axel said, like she was doubting their friendship.
“I didn’t mean it like that. He was always anxious about you around me,” she confessed. “I didn’t think he’d talk to you about me. August treats me like a sister, and Nick is my brother, but you always kept your distance. It made him nervous.”
“What do you mean?” He frowned, and she shuffled a little, wishing she hadn’t brought it up.
“He didn’t like how you looked at me, or acted around me.” She shrugged. “I thought he was paranoid; you pretended like I didn’t exist.”
“He was right to be.” His words were barely audible as he dived into the pool, giving her the impression he didn’t want to talk about her ex.
She had dwelled enough on the past for one day. It was dangerous to linger on old memories for too long.
“Are you going to join me or just keep gawking?” Axel asked, resurfacing. She swallowed as she watched his muscles ripple.
“I wasn’t gawking.” She focused her attention on the stone tile around the pool, because she had, in fact, been gawking. It wasn’t right to be so obsessed with the contours of someone’s body.
“A dip would be nice after all that work,” he said.
“I don’t have my swimsuit on,” she said, still in the same pale blue midi dress she’d travelled in. That, and she was more than a little sweaty.
“Live a little,” he pressed, swimming over to the edge and resting his forearms on the ledge.
Her hand could probably benefit from some water therapy, and the cool water would be nice after working so hard. Without a second thought, stripped off her dress, leaving her in her baby blue bralette and matching undies. His eyes widened, taking in every inch of her, and she concealed her flush by jumping into the pool. The saltwater pool felt like a breath of fresh air.
She playfully splashed up as she came up for air. Axel circled her, reaching for her hips. She giggled, trying to escape his grasp. He knew how to shift her focus, so she noticed the world around her instead of the small things.
let him catch her, and he held her close. She melted against the heat of his body, captivated by the scent of salt on his skin. His lips brushed hers, and she gasped, her parted lips an invitation. The sound of birds chirping and the emerging stars above made her feel like they were the only two people in the universe.
“I don’t think you should overwork that hand. Let me help you to the shallow end,” he said, and gripped her thighs.
She nodded, brushing her hair from her face as he walked her to the edge of the pool. An ache grew deep inside her, and she squealed as he lifted her onto the pool’s edge with ease. His eyes raked over her body, and she’d never felt so seen. She was scared of how much she wanted him to see her, wanted to be with him. His hands rested on either side of her thighs, and he kissed each knee as he slipped her legs over his shoulders. Butterflies fluttered in her lower belly, and she shivered.
“It’s chilly,” she said as his lips ran along the inside of her thighs.
“Don’t worry, I’m going to warm you up.” His gaze darkened, and his hands went to her hips, hooking his thumbs into her underwear.
“Lie back,” he instructed with a wicked smile.
She lost all ability to speak as he kissed a droplet from her knee, and then the other, until she gave in. With a nervous smile, she rested on her elbows, watching him intently. His lips brushed the salty droplets from her inner thighs, and his hands prevented her from closing her knees. She’d been so focused on the heavenly sensation of his lips on her skin to think. The cool air brushing her sensitive skin only heightened the pleasure as his fingers slid over the seams on her underwear before he eased them down her thighs. His eyes tracked hers as she chewed her lip to silence her moans.
“Make all the noise you want, no one can hear you.” His devilish words ruined her.
His shoulders pushed her thighs wider apart, and she gasped as the cool air brushed her core. She lay back as he trailed his tongue along her inner thigh, teasing until finally he made her his. She gasped; he was impossible to resist, and his heady groans as he savoured her heightened the pleasure even more. Her breath came out in gasps, and he pinned her hips down as they moved on their own.
“It’s too much, please,” she groaned, gripping his shoulders.
She couldn’t stand the waves of pleasure coursing through her as he licked and sucked until her back arched off the stone border of the pool.
“Ride my tongue, Bee,” he ordered, holding her hips as she writhed against his mouth.
“Be a good fucking girl and come for me.”
His gravelly command undid her, and his fingers replaced his mouth, drawing out her pleasure until she didn’t know where reality began and dream ended.
“Now that’s the perfect way to end the day,” he said, kissing her thigh. Spent, she gasped for breath, like she was drowning. She stared down at him, and his hazy, self-assured smile only made her want more.
“If only every day could end like that,” she sighed as he eased her underwear back up her thighs and kissed each knee before easing her back into the water.
“Your wish is my command.” He winked.
Exhausted, she wrapped her legs around his waist and rested her cheek against his shoulder. He walked them out of the pool and up the garden. He set her down once they reached the sliding door. Her legs felt like jelly as he stood behind her, kissing her shoulder. He followed her inside, keeping her close, his hands on her waist, and it felt as if they’d been doing this their whole life. The realisation of how comfortable she was with him made her freeze. It felt so natural, too natural, and it suddenly terrified her.
“I’ll be up in a minute.” She let go of his hand, and he paused on the staircase.
“Are you okay?” He frowned, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. It eased her fear, and she didn’t want to let him go, but she had to find her balance.
“I just want to get some water.”
“Don’t be long.” He kissed her tenderly before he headed upstairs.
took a moment to catch her breath and turn off the lights in the house. She brought some snacks and water to his room, and found him lying on the bed with his arm tucked behind his head, completely out of it. She couldn’t blame him for being so exhausted— she was exhausted, and he’d done most of the work. She turned off the light and covered him with the light sheets to let him sleep.
After showering and slipping on one of his T-shirts, the bed dipped as she climbed in beside him. He rolled over and unconsciously tucked her in close. She smiled at his sleepy frown. Gently, she traced the tattoos on his ribs, unsure of how anyone could be so beautiful. The balcony door was open, giving them a perfect view of the calm ocean and bright stars. She wanted to freeze this moment.