Chapter Five
Connor cursed as his big fingers fumbled with his tie.
He barely ever wore one, preferring his T-shirts and jeans to a shirt and formal pants.
But Leyden was taking him out to dinner, on an actual date.
If the dinner went well, then Connor was going to allow the man to bite him, and they would be bound together for life.
After Connor had given his acceptance to the mating, and Leyden had recovered from his lack of argument, the two men had called in Matthew and started going over the applications that Leyden had received from possible beta contenders.
Leyden had explained that while he would prefer that someone have the position from his own pack, because the pack didn’t have a lot of strong males in it, Leyden had opened up the opportunity to enforcers from other packs as well.
Connor could appreciate the idea, even if he didn’t like the thought of strangers coming into what would soon be his territory.
“Damn and blast it.” Connor cursed again as the tie once again ended up in an appalling knot.
“Here, let me,” Leyden said from behind him, two strong arms coming over Connor’s shoulders and taking hold of the ravaged tie. Connor could smell the heat of his mate, the scent of freshly showered man cascading over his senses. Leyden definitely smelled delicious.
In the mirror, Connor watched Leyden’s fingers as they efficiently tied the errant tie.
When Leyden had finished, his fingers grazed over Connor’s chest just lightly, before dropping his hands away.
For the first time in his life Connor wished those fingers had stayed on him for just a moment longer, but he shrugged it away.
The last thing he wanted to do was tease his mate.
Leyden strolled across the room, dropping his towel into a hamper and pulling open his closet.
Connor couldn’t drag his eyes away from all of that delectable skin.
The man truly was a chiseled god. In clothes, Leyden was a controlled powerhouse.
Out of them, he was living perfection, and while Connor still didn’t feel any sexual desire, he wasn’t going to ignore the show that Leyden was putting on for him.
The man was too gorgeous to ignore. Long muscled legs sliding into tight pants, a tailored shirt that was eased over broad shoulders, Leyden flicking his long hair back so that it didn’t get caught in his clothes.
When Leyden bent down, legs straight, back arched, to slip on his shoes and socks Connor saw poetry in motion.
He decided then and there he could watch his mate for hours.
“Ready?” Leyden said, and Connor didn’t miss the self-satisfied grin on the man’s lovely face. Connor couldn’t blame Leyden for being as gorgeous as he was, or trying to flaunt that in front of his mate. He just felt a pang in his heart that he couldn’t respond the way he knew he should.
As Leyden drove them to the restaurant he had picked out, Connor tried not to let his mood get him down.
In himself he accepted that while he yearned for a connection with somebody, he knew it wasn’t something that was going to spring up overnight.
Of course, being a wolf shifter, it would happen more quickly than it might between humans, and given that Leyden was his mate, Connor fully expected to fall in love with the man. It was what wolf shifters did.
Instead of getting bogged down in a sea of self-hatred, Connor let his mind wander back over the day.
The first thing that had struck Connor about Leyden, apart from his looks, was that Leyden was basically a happy person.
All day people had waltzed in and out of the alpha’s office, mostly pack.
Leyden had dealt with every concern, big or small, with a calm manner, and a smile on his face.
It made Connor smile too, especially when Leyden had introduced him to everyone as the alpha mate.
The only downside was when some young punk named Lonnie had bounced into the office and straight onto Leyden’s lap. Connor couldn’t stop the growl from bursting from his chest, his hands shifting into claws ready to tear the interloper from Leyden’s body.
“Who’s the big scary dude with the attitude?” Lonnie had asked Leyden.
“That’s the alpha mate,” Leyden said, and for the first time that day, Connor could see that his mate was angry. Lonnie didn’t help matters by sniffing first at Leyden and then at Connor who was standing by the desk.
“You don’t smell like each other,” the young man said pertly, jumping off Leyden’s lap. “Not much of a mating for you, Alpha, if your mate’s not going to put out. Still you know where I am when you need me. I’m always hungering for your cock inside of me.”
Connor’s growl was so loud that it rattled the office windows.
It was only Leyden’s hand on his arm that stopped him from shifting and tearing out the young man’s throat.
Now, in the quiet of the car, Connor’s original misgivings about the mating resurfaced.
The pack would know that he and Leyden hadn’t had sex.
Shit, one of the most possessive things a wolf could do was ensure that his mate was covered in his scent, inside and out.
Connor hadn’t even allowed Leyden to hug him, and he hated the thought of how that was making Leyden’s wolf feel.
“Stop thinking like that,” Leyden’s voice pierced the gloom in the car.
What? His mate was a mind reader now?
“No,” Leyden said with a small smile. “I’m not a mind reader, but your scent changed. You’re thinking about Lonnie in the office earlier and now you’re worrying about how the wolves in the pack will react when they notice we don’t smell like each other.”
“Leyden, that could seriously weaken your position,” Connor said. “I don’t want to see your position threatened because other wolves perceive you as incapable of leading the pack.”
“If they think I’m weak just because we aren’t having sex, then my pack members are stupid. Do I look weak to you?”
Connor shook his head. Of course Leyden didn’t look weak, and Connor knew that the man was anything but.
.. Connor could understand now why some people within the asexual spectrum did have sex with their partners, even if it wasn’t something they particularly enjoyed.
The urge to submit to Leyden, even if it wasn’t something that Connor wanted, was huge.
If it would protect his mate and stop the slurs that were bound to occur, then maybe Connor could do it.
It’s not like he hadn’t had ample experience of how cruel wolf shifters could be with someone that they perceived as different.
Until Connor had developed his strength and power, he had been teased mercilessly for not behaving like other wolf shifters.
Connor wondered if he had it in him to let Leyden have sex with him, even if he wasn’t ready and didn’t get aroused by it.
Leyden turned off the car, and Connor looked around, realizing they must be at the restaurant. He went to open his door, but Leyden’s hand held him fast.
“Don’t ever think that either,” Leyden warned, his voice low, and Connor picked up traces of anger. “I have never fucked an unwilling partner in my life and I sure as hell am not going to start with you. I said I would wait until you were ready and I will.”
Connor carefully put his hand on Leyden’s and found he liked the connection he could feel.
Leyden was warm and solid, and he didn’t make Connor’s skin itch, which was a bonus.
Through the hand Connor could feel how angry and hurt Leyden was feeling, and he hated that he had ruined his mate’s good mood.
“I’m sorry Leyden. I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you angry. It’s just… I’ve lived with the knowledge I am different since I shifted. Other wolves can be cruel, and they can and will capitalize on any weakness they can see. It’s the nature of our animal. You know that. If I submit to you…”
“Stop right there,” Leyden snarled and yep, his mate was still angry.
“It will protect you,” Connor finished, his own anger rising fast. Didn’t his mate understand how hard it was to live like he did?
In a world where sex was the norm and everything in society seemed designed to try and trigger some sort of arousal response.
Where the first thing people judged you on was whether or not you were sexually attractive.
Wolf shifters were worse than humans in that respect.
They not only went with their animal spirit and enjoyed sex for the pleasure it apparently was, but they could smell when others didn’t feel the same way.
Connor had gone through hell until his size stopped people questioning his nature.
He didn’t want to cause problems with his mate.
“You’re forgetting something, mate of mine,” Leyden said more softly this time.
“I have an equal desire to protect you and to make you happy. I won’t do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable, and as much as I long to explore and plunder that sexy body of yours, I won’t do anything until I know it is what you want too. ”
“Just as well we’ve both got size on our side then,” Connor said, smiling at the man who really didn’t know him, yet was willing to change his whole way of life for him.
“Exactly,” Leyden said, smiling back. “Now let’s go eat our dinner and you can tell me all about yourself.”