Chapter Fifteen
Connor’s hands slid up Leyden’s chest, nails dragging across sensitive skin. His mate’s gray eyes darkened with hunger as he leaned in, breath hot against Leyden’s ear.
“Want you,” Connor whispered, voice rough with desire. “Need you inside me…”
Leyden jolted awake, his cock painfully hard and his heart hammering.
“Fuck.” He threw an arm over his face, willing his body to calm down.
Just a dream. Another goddamn dream.
Connor slept peacefully beside him, curled on his side with one hand tucked under the pillow. Ruggedly beautiful and completely unaware of what his proximity did to Leyden every single night.
Two weeks. Fourteen days since they’d exchanged claiming bites, since Leyden had felt the bone-deep satisfaction of his mate’s teeth in his throat. Fourteen days of sleeping next to the most attractive man Leyden had ever met while his body screamed for release that wasn’t going to happen.
It was the longest he’d gone without penetrative sex since puberty.
Not that he’d been counting or anything.
Leyden slipped out of bed carefully, padding to the bathroom and turning the shower to cold. The icy spray hit his overheated skin like a slap, shocking away the remnants of arousal but doing nothing for the frustration coiling in his gut.
I knew what I’d been signing up for. I told Connor I would wait, and that I understood. Sex isn’t the only thing that matters in a mating. Look at every other thing he already does for me.
All true.
But it didn’t make things any easier when his wolf whined every time Connor stretched, showing off the muscles in his back. It didn’t help when Connor smiled at him over breakfast, open and genuine in a way he never was with anyone else, sending Leyden’s thoughts in the bed direction.
Leyden shut off the water and dried himself roughly, avoiding his reflection in the mirror.
Pack duties. He needed to focus on pack duties. Look at how much I get done when I’m not having sex all the time. Yes, Leyden’s inner self could be a sarcastic bastard at times.
The morning passed in a blur of emails and phone calls. Leyden approved supply orders, reviewed Matthew’s transition notes for the third time, and scheduled interviews with more enforcer candidates Connor had vetted. Normal, mundane tasks that should’ve kept his mind occupied.
Instead, he kept glancing toward the window.
Around eleven, movement in the training yard caught his attention.
Connor stood in the center of the combat ring, shirtless, demonstrating a takedown technique for Janet and two other potential enforcers.
Sunlight gleamed off the sweat coating his shoulders, highlighting every ridge and valley of muscle as he moved.
His body was a sexy weapon - controlled, precise, devastating.
Beautiful.
Connor pivoted, caught his opponent’s arm, and flipped the larger man onto his back in one fluid motion. The movement made his abs contract, drawing Leyden’s gaze down the sharp lines of his mate’s torso to where his jeans hung low on his hips.
Leyden’s mouth went dry.
Connor said something Leyden couldn’t hear, gesturing for Janet to try the technique. He stepped back, arms crossed over his chest, watching with the same intense focus he brought to everything.
Completely in his element. Confident. Powerful.
Leyden’s cock stirred despite the cold shower taken mere hours before.
He jerked away from the window, heart pounding.
Christ. He couldn’t stand there like some creep getting aroused by his mate doing his job.
Crossing the room quickly, Leyden locked the office door and leaned against it, willing his body to settle.
It didn’t.
His hand moved to his belt before he’d consciously decided, desperation overriding dignity. He shoved his pants down just enough, wrapped his fist around his aching cock, and tried to find relief.
Connor’s face filled his mind. Those gray eyes watching him with trust, with growing affection. Connor’s rare smile, the one that made Leyden’s chest ache. The way Connor had looked after their claiming, flushed and beautiful and his.
Leyden came hard, biting back a groan.
The pleasure faded almost immediately, leaving him empty.
He cleaned up mechanically, the hollow feeling in his chest expanding with each breath. It should’ve helped. Jerking off had always taken the edge off before, made him functional until he could find a warm body to lose himself in.
Now it just reminded him that a warm body wasn’t what he actually wanted.
Unlocking the office door, Leyden went over and sank into his desk chair, staring at nothing.
He’d fucked dozens of people over the years. Hundreds, maybe, if he counted every casual encounter since he’d first shifted. He’d prided himself on his stamina, his skill, the variety of partners who’d warmed his bed.
Thinking back, Leyden realized they all had one thing in common - none of them had ever made him feel less lonely.
They’d scratched an itch. Provided physical release and a temporary distraction.
But afterward, he’d always been alone - surrounded by pack members who respected his authority, but who never really knew him.
Partners who wanted his body but had no interest in his thoughts, his fears, his hopes for the pack’s future.
Connor knew all that. He listened when Leyden talked about pack politics, offered insights that showed he genuinely cared about Leyden’s goals. Sat with him during meals and asked about his day like the answer actually mattered.
And Leyden still felt lonely.
Not because Connor didn’t care. Leyden shook his head. The bond made his mate’s growing affection impossible to miss. But because the physical intimacy Leyden craved remained out of reach - it might always be out of reach if Connor never developed that kind of desire... Shit.
Leyden dropped his head into his hands.
Selfish. He was being selfish and ungrateful and…
“Leyden?”
He looked up to find Connor in the doorway, concern etched across his face.
“Hey.” Leyden straightened, forcing a smile. “How’d training go?”
“Fine.” Connor stepped inside and closed the door, studying Leyden with those too-perceptive eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just tired.”
“Bullshit.” Connor crossed his arms. “I can feel you through the bond, remember? You’re miserable.”
Right. The bond went both ways.
Leyden scrubbed his hand over his face. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“You’re my mate. Everything about you is something I need to worry about.” Connor moved closer, frowning. “Talk to me.”
“I’m just…” Leyden gestured helplessly. “I’m lonely, all right? Which is stupid because you’re right there, and I have the whole pack, and I should be grateful for what I have instead of wanting more…”
“Lonely how?” Connor’s voice gentled. “What do you need that you’re not getting?”
Physical contact. Sex. The feeling of another body pressed against his, skin to skin, no barriers between them.
But Leyden couldn’t say that. Wouldn’t put that pressure on Connor when his mate was already trying so hard.
“I don’t think I can put it into words.” It wasn’t a flat out lie. “Forget I said anything.”
Connor studied him for a long moment, expression unreadable. Then he walked to the couch along the far wall and sat down. He looked at Leyden expectantly. “Come here.”
“Connor…”
“Just come sit with me. Please.”
Leyden crossed the office and settled beside his mate, leaving careful space between them.
Connor immediately closed that space, pressing his shoulder against Leyden’s. “Better?”
“You don’t have to…”
“I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do.” Connor leaned his head on Leyden’s shoulder, his dark hair tickling Leyden’s jaw. “Is this okay?”
Warmth bloomed in Leyden’s chest, completely different from the heat of arousal but no less powerful. “Yeah. This is okay.”
They sat in silence for several minutes, Connor’s steady breathing matching Leyden’s own. Through the bond, Leyden felt his mate’s contentment, the quiet satisfaction of providing comfort.
“You want to just…be here for a while?” Connor asked. “I’ll pull up a book. We could read.”
“You don’t have other stuff to do?”
“I already dealt with three stupid complaints this morning and sent out yet another email telling people to stop bringing me their bullshit. I’m taking the afternoon off.” Connor pulled out his phone. “Unless you need me to…”
“No. Stay.” Leyden’s throat tightened. “Please stay.”
Putting away his phone, Connor grabbed his tablet from Leyden’s desk and pulled up a novel, settling back against Leyden’s side. The weight of him felt right, solid and real and present in a way Leyden’s previous partners never had been.
Leyden pulled up reports on his own tablet, trying to focus on pack finances while acutely aware of every point of contact between their bodies - Connor’s shoulder pressed to his ribs, his mate’s thigh warm against Leyden’s leg, the subtle movement each time Connor moved his arm to scroll to another page.
Simple. Intimate. Nothing sexual about it.
And somehow more satisfying than any of the encounters Leyden had chased for years.