Chapter Twenty-Seven
Five days after dancing with Leyden, Connor sat in the office staring at security reports without reading a single word. His mind kept circling back to the same thought.
He was ready.
Not almost ready. Not getting there.
Ready, ready.
His body responded to Leyden constantly now.
A glance across the dinner table sent heat pooling low in his gut.
Watching Leyden train in the yard made Connor’s skin tighten to the point where his clothes were a nuisance.
Even simple touches - Leyden’s hand on his shoulder, their fingers brushing - ignited something fierce and undeniable.
The arousal didn’t feel foreign to him anymore. It felt right. Like waking up after years of sleepwalking. More to the point, to Connor, it finally felt natural and that is what he’d been waiting for.
Closing his laptop, Connor stood up and went to find Leyden. He was in the living room checking over some spreadsheets.
“Can we talk?”
Leyden looked up immediately, and Connor felt his mate’s concern spike through the bond.
“Yeah, of course.” Leyden set the papers aside, giving Connor his full attention. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” Connor sat on the couch, leaving space between them. His heart hammered. “I just...I need to tell you something.”
Leyden’s worry intensified. His jaw tightened. “Okay.”
Connor took a breath, then another. The words tangled on his tongue, but he forced them out before his nerves could choke them back.
“I want to have sex with you.”
Silence.
Complete, absolute silence.
Leyden stared at him, gray eyes wide, mouth slightly open. He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Just stared.
“Leyden?”
“I…” Leyden blinked. “What?”
Connor’s face heated, but he didn’t look away. “I want to try. Having sex. With you.”
Leyden still didn’t respond. Through their bond, Connor felt shock, disbelief, and underneath it all, hope.
“I’ve been thinking about it for days,” Connor continued, words spilling faster now.
“More than thinking about it. I’ve been wanting it.
Really wanting it. Not because I’m supposed to, or because you need it, but because when I look at you, I…
” He broke off, searching for the right words.
“My body responds. I get hard. I want to touch you and have you touch me and I’m tired of stopping. ”
Leyden’s hands clenched on his thighs. “Connor, are you sure? Because if you’re feeling pressured…”
“I’m not.” Connor shifted closer, needing Leyden to understand.
“I swear I’m not. This is me wanting you.
Not duty or obligation or trying to be a good mate.
I want you. Not just because you’re my mate, but because I love you.
Because you’re patient and kind and you make me feel safe enough to want this. ”
Leyden’s breath shuddered out. “Fuck.”
“Is that a yes?”
“I…” Leyden ran a hand through his hair, looking dazed. “I need to know you’re absolutely certain. That you’re not doing this because of what my father said, or because the pack expects it, or because you think I need it. You make me so happy just being in my life.”
“I’m certain.” Connor took Leyden’s hand, threading their fingers together. “I’ve been thinking about it constantly. When you walk past me. When we’re working. When we’re lying in bed. I imagine what it would feel like to have you inside me, and I want it. I want you.”
Leyden’s pupils dilated. His arousal spiked sharp through the bond, immediate and overwhelming.
“Jesus, Connor.”
“So is that a yes?”
“Yes.” Leyden pulled Connor into his lap, hands framing Connor’s face. “Yes, of course it’s a yes. At the risk of sounding like a broken record though, I just want to make sure this is really what you want.”
Connor adjusted his stance, straddling Leyden’s thighs, settling his weight deliberately. “It is.”
They sat like that, foreheads pressed together, their breathing unsteady but in sync.
“I’m nervous,” Connor admitted quietly. “I don’t know what to do. Don’t know if I’ll be any good at it.”
“We’ll figure it out together.” Leyden’s thumbs stroked Connor’s cheekbones. “I’ll guide you through everything. We’ll go as slow as you need.”
“What if I panic? What if I get halfway through and can’t…”
“Then we stop.” Leyden’s voice was firm. “No questions, no disappointment. We stop whenever you need to stop.”
Connor nodded, some of the tension easing from his shoulders.
“Have you thought about what you want?” Leyden asked. “What you’re comfortable with?”
Connor’s face heated. “I... I’ve been researching.”
Leyden’s eyebrows rose. “Researching?”
“On the forum.” Connor looked down at where their bodies pressed together. “There were posts about first times. About what worked and what didn’t. About different positions and... preparation.”
Leyden’s hands slid to Connor’s hips, grip tightening. “And?”
“And I want you to fuck me.” Connor forced himself to meet Leyden’s eyes. “I want to feel you inside me. I want to know what it’s like.”
Leyden groaned, low and rough. His arousal was unmistakable now, hard between them.
“We should talk about boundaries,” Leyden managed. “Expectations. What you’re comfortable with before we actually get to penetration.”
Connor nodded. His own arousal built steadily, heat spreading through his body. “I like when you kiss me. When you touch me. I want more of that.”
“Okay. What else?”
“I want to touch you. All of you. Without stopping.” Connor’s hands slid under Leyden’s shirt, palms flat against warm skin. “I want to see what makes you feel good.”
Leyden’s breath caught. “I can work with that.”
“I’m scared I’ll freeze up,” Connor admitted. “That I’ll want it until it actually happens, and then I’ll panic.”
“Then we go slow. We don’t have to do everything tonight, or even this week. We can work up to it.” Leyden’s hands gentled on Connor’s hips. “Start with just touching. Kissing. Figure out what feels good and what doesn’t.”
Relief flooded Connor’s chest. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Are you okay if I touch you? Under your clothes?”
Connor’s heart raced. “Yes.”
“And if I use my mouth? On your skin, your chest, your…”
“Yes.” Connor’s voice came out rough. “I want that.”
Leyden kissed him then, deep and hungry and perfect. Connor kissed back with matching intensity, grinding down against Leyden’s lap.
When they broke apart, both breathing hard, Leyden rested his forehead against Connor’s shoulder.
“As much as it kills me to say it, it shouldn’t be tonight,” Leyden said. “Tonight we just talk about it, plan for it. I don’t want to rush you into anything. This is a huge step for you – anyone’s first time would be.”
Connor wanted to argue, wanted to say they should just go to bed. But Leyden was right. It was better to think it through, make sure they were both ready. Leyden’s always ready – the one who needs to be is me.
“When?” Connor asked.
“Whenever you want. This weekend, maybe? That gives us time to prepare, make sure we have everything we need.”
Connor nodded. “What do we need?”
“Lube, for one thing. And I want to make sure we have complete privacy. No pack interruptions, no emergencies.”
“Could we go away?” Connor suggested. “Somewhere off pack lands.”
Leyden pulled back to look at him. “You’d be comfortable with that?”
“I think I’d be more comfortable away from the pack house. No one nearby to hear or interrupt.”
“Okay.” Leyden’s smile was soft, genuine. “I’ll arrange something. A cabin, maybe. Somewhere remote.”
There was a long silence, and Connor could feel anticipation working through their bond. His arousal hadn’t faded, and neither had Leyden’s.
“Can we still kiss? In the meantime, I mean,” Connor asked. “I’m not ready to stop touching you.”
Leyden’s answer was to pull Connor’s mouth to his, kissing him with controlled hunger. Connor opened immediately, deepening the kiss, rolling his hips against Leyden’s.
They made out on the couch until Connor’s lips felt hot, until his body ached with want, until stopping required actual willpower.
Connor pulled back, breathing hard. “This weekend.”
“This weekend,” Leyden agreed.
Connor climbed off Leyden’s lap, adjusting himself. “I love you,” he said.
Leyden stood, pulled Connor close for one more kiss. “I love you too.”