Chapter 3 – Analyse
Chapter Three
ANALYSE
Now I’m lying on the floor of my living room, a glass of wine beside me, old school Daddy Yankee blasting from my speaker.
What can I say? Sometimes a girl needs a little old school reggaeton to unwind.
I’ll never forget the day my mom walked into my room and heard me singing “El Telefono”—she was pissed, and I was punished for a month.
In retrospect, an eleven-year-old singing a song about phone sex is completely inappropriate.
Sorry, Mami, I was always a bit of a handful.
The weekend has been calling my name all week long, and since Maya won’t be home, I can get all the chores on my list done.
I miss her little face. Isn’t it crazy how we want a break, but the moment we get one, we miss them immediately?
She’s my little best friend. I love hearing all about her day and all the stories she makes up—the girl has some imagination.
She’s so much fun to be around. Maybe I can call Seb to drop her off?
It isn’t too late. No, no. I should let her have fun with them. It’s not her fault I don’t have a life.
Three glasses of wine deep, I decide I should probably have something to eat so that I won’t wake up tomorrow feeling like garbage.
I’m too tired to cook, so I decide to toast some bread.
While the bread is toasting, I close my eyes and tilt my head back.
The alcohol is making me feel warm and fuzzy, and I let the beat of the music wrap around my body like a wave.
The bread springs out of the toaster, and I rush to grab it, burning the tips of my fingers.
I take a bite, and it’s definitely the wine, but this is the best piece of toast I’ve ever had in my life.
Like, no one has ever made a better toast than this one right here in my hands.
I wash it down with more wine and hear the sound of a car pulling up in the front of my house.
That’s weird, I’m not expecting anyone tonight—maybe Maya was homesick?
I peek through my blinds and see a red truck that I definitely don’t recognize. I know literally everyone in this town—so, who the hell is that? My confusion lasts for a moment and quickly turns into shock and that quickly turns into rage. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
I throw on a pair of chanclas before I run out the door and yell, “What the hell are you doing here?”
Nico just stands there, staring at me, a stunned look on his stupid face.
Why is he stunned? I’m the one who’s stunned.
He turns up here, unannounced, when I haven’t heard a single word from him in nearly seven years.
This has to be a hallucination. I got myself wine drunk and now for some reason my brain is hallucinating my daughter’s dead-beat father.
I’m contemplating taking my chancleta off to throw at him to see if he’s real when he clears his throat.
Looking me up and down, he says, “Analyse—you look good.”
Is he for real right now? “Don’t ‘you look good’ me, Nico. What the hell are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“Great. You’ve seen me. Now get back into your truck and never see me again.”
“Come on, don’t be like that.”
“I will be like that, Nico. I haven’t heard a peep from you in seven years and you decide to show up—unannounced, I might add—and say you just wanted to see me? Be for real.”
To myself, I mumble, “Este maldito estúpido.”
“I was thinking about you, about our baby. I fucked up. I miss you,” Nico says.
He says “our baby” because he has no idea that we have a daughter, because he never once called, checked in, or tried to glean any information. I can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth right now.
“She’s my daughter,” I say flatly. “If you want to talk about this, come back in the morning. Maya isn’t here, and I’m not doing this right now.”
“I know, I know. I fucked up big time. But I want to make things right. I want to meet her. Be in her life. Be in your life. Be that family you always dreamed about.”
My eyes roll so far back into my head I hear my mom’s warning echoing, They’ll stay that way if you don’t stop. This fucking guy.
“Nico, you and I will never be a family. You lost that chance the moment you walked out on me all those years ago.”
“Just give me a chance. Let me show you—”
Headlights sweep across the driveway, Nico’s words die on his tongue.
Ay dios mio. I run my hand down my face, landing at my neck.
Why is everyone showing up to my house unannounced?
Since when do I give off the vibe that I like visitors without notice?
Do I have a sign on my front lawn that says show up whenever the hell you feel like or something?
It’s so dark I can hardly make out whose car that is, until he opens the driver’s side door and steps out. Mateo.
And it’s at that very moment that someone else completely takes over my body. because I say, “Mateo, mi amor, I’m so glad you’re here—I missed you.”
I walk over to Mateo, wrap my arms around his neck, pretend I’m giving him a kiss, and whisper, “Go. With. It.”
Mateo quickly masks the shock on his face, pulls me in closer, and says, “Hola, querida. You know I couldn’t stay away from you for too long.” Looking between Nico and me, he asks, “Who’s this?”
I quickly untangle myself from Mateo’s arms. Wow those arms are strong; okay focus, Analyse. You can ruminate on those thoughts later. I glance up at Mateo. “Mateo, this is Nico…Maya’s father.”
His jaw ticks, and for a split second, I see the shock in his eyes before he schools his expression. He shifts closer, body angling ever so slightly between me and Nico.
Then I turn to face Nico and say, “Nico, this is Mateo—my boyfriend.”
The shock is written all over Nico’s face, and I can’t help but feel a bit of satisfaction.
I look up at Mateo and can only imagine what thoughts are running through Nico’s head right now.
Mateo is all man—6’5”, brown skin, chiseled jaw, nearly black eyes, curly black hair, big strong biceps, and a thigh tattoo on strong legs that look like they can crush someone. Shit. Mateo is hot.
Nico looks between us. “Your boyfriend?”
Before I can say anything, Mateo cuts in, holding out his hand to Nico’s and says, “Yeah, man. I’m her boyfriend. Is there something you need or are you on your way out?”
Nico doesn’t move to grab Mateo’s hand—asshole. Instead, his gaze stays on me. “Analyse, just think about what I said, okay? I was serious. I’m going to be around for a while.”
And with that, he turns around, gets into his car, and drives away, leaving me to face Mateo—and the mess I’ve created.