Chapter 24 – Analyse #2
“I just need to talk to you,” he says, his tone tight. “Ten minutes. That’s it.”
Mateo bristles behind me. I can feel the tension radiating from him. “Analyse—”
“It’s fine,” I say, cutting him off. I turn back to Nico. “Five minutes. Outside.”
Nico nods, shoulders relaxing slightly.
Mateo steps closer. “You want me to come with you?”
I shake my head. “No. Just stay with Maya, please.”
His eyes search mine, unwilling to let me walk this alone. “You sure?”
I nod. “Yeah.” I lean in and kiss him, lingering just a moment. “I’ll be okay.”
Mateo watches me for a beat longer before stepping back into the warmth of the house.
I shut the door behind me, sealing myself into the cold.
Snow crunches under our feet as I lead Nico to the edge of the porch.
The lights inside spill faintly across the snow-covered yard, but out here, the air bites harder.
It’s quiet except for the distant hum of wind through the trees.
“What do you want?” I ask, arms wrapped tightly around myself.
He stands there for a second, rocking on his heels. He blows out a breath, fogging the air between us. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Try the truth.”
His jaw tightens, but then he looks at me with eyes that are softer than I remember. “I’ve been thinking about you. About Maya. About everything.”
I stiffen. “You don’t get to think about us now like we’re some nostalgic memory you can revisit.”
“I know, I know,” he says quickly, holding up his hands. “I just…I’ve changed. I’ve been changing. I’m not the same guy I was back then. I’ve been getting my shit together, finally. And I started thinking, maybe there’s still a chance.”
I blink, confused. “A chance at what?”
He steps closer. “I told you when I came back into town, Lyse. A chance at us. At being a family. I want to be in Maya’s life. And I want to try again with you.”
“And I told you that I have a boyfriend, Mateo. I’m happy. We are happy. There is no trying again with me.”
“Fuck that guy. He’s not the guy for you.
I’ve missed you, Analyse. I’ve missed what we had.
I still think about the night we danced on the beach.
I still remember how you looked the night you told me you were pregnant.
Scared. But strong. I was an idiot for leaving, but I want to be the man you and Maya deserve now. ”
I stare at him, stunned. “You don’t even know her.”
“I can. I want to,” he says, desperate now. “I want to be a real father. I want to make this right.”
I shake my head slowly, trying to absorb the audacity.
“You’ve had seven years, Nico. Seven. Every single day you could’ve picked up a phone.
Written a letter. Shown up. And you didn’t.
Since you walked your ass back into town, you’ve had every opportunity to actually get to know her.
But you haven’t. You’ve been so caught up in trying to win me back. ”
“I know I screwed up—”
“No, Nico. You abandoned us. That’s not a screw up. That’s a choice. And what I don’t get is—why now? What changed? What suddenly made you think you can walk back into our lives like nothing happened?”
He shifts, looking down at the snow. “I don’t know, Lyse. I was lonely. Everything else in my life was falling apart, and I kept thinking about you. About our baby. About what I missed. I thought maybe if I came back, I could fix it somehow.”
“Do you hear yourself? You came back because your life fell apart—not because you suddenly grew a conscience, not because you wanted to show up for her. You left me to raise our daughter alone. And now that the hard part’s over, now that she’s no longer a newborn screaming through the night, you think you can show up and play daddy? ”
“I’m trying,” he says, voice cracking. “I’m trying to make up for lost time.”
“You can’t make up for all these years with a fucking apology and a plea to get back together.”
His mouth twists, frustration starting to seep through the cracks in his calm. “So what? That’s it? You’re just going to stay with him?”
I go still. “Mateo?”
He scoffs. “Yeah. Him. The fucking hero. You really think he’s going to love her like I can?”
My eyes flash. “He already does. He’s been here, Nico. Through all of it. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t bail. He stayed. And she knows it. She trusts him.”
“And you?” he asks, stepping closer. “Do you love him?”
I hesitate for half a second too long. His face hardens.
“Fuck,” he mutters, raking a hand through his hair. “All this time…I thought maybe you’d still be waiting. That after everything, I’d come back and we could just pick up where we left off. Guess I was an idiot.”
“You were gone for seven years, Nico.” My voice cracks. “You don’t get to abandon us and expect me to keep a life on ice for you. That’s not love. That’s selfish. And it sure as hell isn’t family.”
He snaps then—shouting like a man unraveling.
“Fuck! Give me a fucking break, Analyse! I was twenty-goddamn-four! I was young! I wasn’t ready to have a kid.
I wasn’t ready to be a father. I barely knew what I wanted to do with my life—not everyone can be like you and have it all figured out straight out of college.
I fucking panicked, okay? I. Panicked. You said you were pregnant, and I freaked the fuck out.
All that ran through my mind was that I didn’t have my shit together, and I didn’t have money to raise a kid, I wasn’t good enough and you were supposed to be on birth control—”
“FUCK OFF, NICO.” My voice cracks through the cold night like a whip. His eyes widen, but I keep going, heart thudding so hard it hurts.
“I was on birth control. But guess what? Sometimes birth control fails. Do you think I was ready? No. But I didn’t run.
From the moment I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test, I stepped up and got my shit together.
You think I had money? I’m a teacher, for God’s sake—we’re not exactly making a shit ton of money. ”
I’m shaking now, from the rage and cold and pain.
“But that didn’t matter. I was young, too.
I was twenty-four, too. And I didn’t run.
I never ran. I never, not for one damn second, let my daughter down.
I was there for every single second. ALL OF IT.
While you were being a coward, I was doing whatever I had to do to make sure Maya always knew she was loved and special and the most important thing in the world.
She is my whole damn world, Nico. So forgive me if I don’t give a shit about your sorry ass excuses. ”
His jaw works, but I don’t stop. Can’t.
“Do you have any idea how hard it was for me? I was twenty-four and in one fell swoop not only did I learn I was pregnant, but I became a single mom, too. I went through every second of that pregnancy alone. Every kick, every doctor’s appointment, every sleepless night wondering if I’d be enough.
I had to be induced early because I had pre-eclampsia and I was so fucking scared. ” My voice breaks, throat raw.
“And you weren’t there. Not for the birth. Not for the late nights. Not for the first smile, the first word, her first steps. But you know who was there? My mom. My dad. Sebastian. Andres. Mateo. Hell, even Nathan.”
I point toward the house, toward the glowing windows and the life I built without him.
“They were there. Through all the sleepless nights—and there were many—they rotated shifts to help me. Mateo, God, Mateo, he was there most of all. Maya’s had him wrapped around her little finger since she was a newborn.” I blink, tears threatening now.
“He was the one who held her when I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. He fed her when I was too sick to get out of bed. He sang to her. Changed her. Rocked her to sleep. He never ran. He showed up. Day after day. Week after week. Year after year.”
Silence stretches between us. Nico is frozen, lips parted, chest rising and falling.
Finally, he says, voice low, “I’m leaving town.”
I nod once, emotion pressing hot behind my eyes. “Exactly.”
His brows knit, confused.
“You’re leaving. Because that’s what you do, Nico. You don’t show up for people, you just show up when it’s convenient. This was never about Maya. It was about me. About getting me back. And now that you see you can’t, now that you realize I’m not yours anymore, you’re running. Again.”
I shake my head, fury giving way to heartbreak. “It was never about her. Not really. If it was, you’d stay. You’d try. You’d fight. But you’re not. You’re walking away. Again.”
He doesn’t deny it. Doesn’t say a word. Just stares at me like he’s seeing the truth for the first time and hates it. I don’t say goodbye. I don’t need to.
I walk back inside, the door clicking shut behind me.
The second the door closes behind me, the noise of the house rushes back in—Maya’s laughter from down the hall, the low hum of music still playing, the buzz of conversation. But it all feels distant, muffled. Like I’m underwater.
Mateo is waiting in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, eyes fixed on the door like he was willing it to open the whole time I was gone.
When he sees me, he straightens immediately. “You okay?”
I nod. Then shake my head. Then shrug, because I don’t know which one is true.
He doesn’t press. Just opens his arms, and that’s all it takes.
I fall into his chest like I’m collapsing.
The second he wraps his arms around me, the tears come.
Big, silent ones that soak into his shirt.
My shoulders shake. My knees buckle. And he just holds me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be,” he murmurs into my hair. “Let it out.”
I don’t know how long I cry. But when I finally pull back, my voice is barely there. “He’s leaving town.”
Mateo’s jaw clenches, but he doesn’t say anything. Just waits.
“And he never…he never wanted her. He didn’t come back for Maya. He came back for me. And now that he knows he can’t have me…” I wipe my face with the back of my hand, breath catching. “He’s just going. Like she’s nothing.”
Mateo’s eyes soften, heartbreak and fury mixing behind them. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
I nod, swallowing hard. “It just…it breaks my heart. For her. For what she deserved and never got. For what she still won’t get.”
His thumb brushes my cheek, catching another tear. “He doesn’t get to come back into her life and choose again. Not like that.”
I blink up at him, searching his face. “You’ve always been there. Always. Since the beginning. When it wasn’t your job. When it would’ve been easier not to. You’ve shown up every single time.”
He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my forehead, lingering there. I take a step back, exhaling shakily.
“Well,” I say, managing a wobbly smile, “I guess since he’s gone now…we can break up.”
Mateo jerks his head back. “What?”
I gesture to the air between us, voice barely holding together. “You were only with me to protect us, right? To be there for me like you always are. To help me while he was around. That was the deal.”
The words taste like ash even as they leave my mouth.
I don’t even know what I’m saying, but I can’t seem to stop.
Part of me wants to snatch them back, to throw myself into his arms and beg him not to let me go.
But the other part—the broken, frightened part—pushes harder, determined to ruin this before I get the chance to lose him for real.
He stares at me, stunned. “Lyse—”
I smile again. Small. Sad. “It’s okay. You did your job.”
Then I walk past him, leaving him speechless in the kitchen, heart pounding in my ears.