Chapter 19 Poppy
“ I ’m sorry,” I blurt out, unsure of what just happened to me. “I’m not laughing at you, truly.” Another giggle erupts out of me and I glance towards the copy room door, thankful it’s closed. Shaking my hands out and fanning myself, I breathe slowly. Get it together.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fin—” I start to say before catching his eyes and my involuntary laughter starts all over again. This time though, after the laughter starts to die down, I can feel tears sliding down my cheeks. Owen is wrestling with himself trying to figure out what to do, pivoting here and there. He finally decides to hand me a tissue box from one of the tables.
My head slides down the wall as I sink to the ground. My flats squeaking at the sudden movement. “Sorry.” The word comes out slowly. It’s the only word I can think of right now. Coming back has been a lot to process in and of itself, without throwing a gorgeous and kind teacher into the mix.
My feelings are all over the place and it’s felt harder with Andi being on her honeymoon. It almost felt easier when I thought he was a jerk and I could be mad at him for what happened, but after finding out he thought he was leaving town, I can see his side of things too.
He moves to squat down next to me. “That was a lot I just threw at you, huh?”
Feeling more steady and like I can finally get a full breath in, I respond, “No, well it’s all been a lot this past week. Andi’s wedding, coming back here after everything, you.”
He sucks in a breath, holding himself steady by grabbing onto the table next to us. The copy machine makes a grunting noise and I notice for the first time all the doors are open. Must have jammed again . “I am sorry about all this. Do you think we can work together? I mean, I suppose we won’t see a lot of each other anyways, seeing as we’re from different departments and all. And—”
“Shhh,” I interject, holding a finger towards my lips. He tracks the movement for a moment before pushing himself up and looking at the copy machine. His nervous rambling is adorable, but it is also overwhelming me in this moment.
“Right, well.”
“Yes, I think we can be coworkers just fine,” I try to assure him. Pulling myself up to stand next to him, he turns and our arms brush as he grabs his papers. I’m shocked that his touch still burns my skin and makes me a little dizzy. “I did tell Noah, but it sounds like you guys are already friends.” Pausing, I add, “I’m not sure we can be friends, though, it might be weird, don’t you think?”
I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I also just truly don’t know if I can be friends with him after what happened between us. The night was amazing with all the things we did together and the way he made me feel. You don’t just turn that off and forget about it because you have to work together. At least I can’t.
“Yeah, we are. Not us being weird. Yes, Noah and I are friends.”
My hands find my pockets, rummaging for something to occupy themselves with. The tears feel like they might start up again any time and his presence isn’t helping anything. “Okay, I don’t remember why I was in here, but I’m sure I’ll see you at the next session.”
I make my grand exit. Totally alluring, Poppy, totally alluring.
***
Making my way back into the library for the afternoon sessions, I find myself a spot next to Libby, the building secretary. She’s usually busy running the PowerPoints, or taking notes, or something for Erin. But she and I got closer last year with all the paperwork and things I had to get in order at the last minute for my unexpected leave. It’s nice to catch up with her before diving into more planning for the school year.
“Welcome back,” Erin calls out. “For this afternoon’s session, we’ll be working in groups on our goals related to increased literacy. Each group will have a member of our English team on it to help guide our discussions and help us know what data to track.” She moves to the side so we can see the large lists of our groups broken down on the side. Looking over the list, I see that Owen and I are in the same group.
My heart skips a beat. Didn’t we already have our awkward encounter for the year? Can’t that be enough, universe?
Erin shares a little more of what we need to accomplish in our groups, when we’ll be checking in, etc. before letting us know we will meet with our groups for an hour today and a few hours each day this week.
That’s a lot of time to be “coworkers” with Owen. Grabbing a mug of cold coffee from the carafe, I find myself wishing for another drink from Bobbi’s. Moving to the table where our group is assigned to meet, I see that almost everyone has already arrived. Only one open chair remains. Next to him.
He gives me that damned smile that could melt my heart into a million pieces before pulling the chair out for me. Is that weird? Did someone else see that and think it was weird?
Chill out, Poppy. You’re acting like a high schooler yourself. Act normal.