Chapter 23 Poppy
O h. My. God. I can’t get any more awkward. First, I cried in front of him in the printer room and here I am frantically looking for my planner while in line for coffee. He had to remind me where I had put it and I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt so incredibly embarrassed. Even my sweaty bangs clung to my forehead in shame.
It’s not that I want to impress him. It’s just how many people have to work with their one-night-stand after the fact? My life has become a list of things I didn’t plan for or think through and I’m not sure how to work my way around this one. God, his arms look great in that shirt and he’s always so sweet when I talk to him.
“So, how are you liking Honey Cove?” I ask, then realize he’s lived here for a while now. “I mean, how are you liking it now that it’s more permanent?”
He looks at me as if he’s unsure how to answer. “I didn’t mean it has to be permanent, I’m not assuming it’s permanent…”
“I’ve wanted to live closer to my cousins and in a smaller town for a while. I’m from New York, so it couldn’t get more different. But I love it so far.” He smiles and looks at me again. I’m a deer in the headlights taking in his gorgeous eyes and that warmth in my core starts up again, just like at Andi’s wedding.
“That’s good,” I say, running my hands down my skirt and straightening my sweater. I thought this sweater would be nice for cooler fall days, but it suddenly feels too hot and itchy standing here next to him. Somehow my mind is racing to think of a reply while simultaneously being a blank canvas. Luckily, it’s my turn to order and I step up to the counter, hitting my hip on the counter in the process. Grunting, I turn back and see that Owen’s eyes are still on me. Great, that’ll bruise later. “I’ll take a large latte with french vanilla, please. Extra shot. And a large dark roast.” I should bring Noah something. After paying, I move to the other side of the counter, shuffling my bag from shoulder to shoulder. Nothing feels quite right and I can’t seem to get comfortable, continuing to bounce back and forth between stealing glances at Owen and the woman making my coffee.
Honey Cove is the best. You couldn’t have chosen a nicer small town. So many options of things to say, but I can’t seem to verbalize any of them.
Things are too out of sorts with him here and I’m not sure what to do to get my head in a better place. I don’t regret sleeping with him; it was amazing. But, trying to work with him and find some sense of normalcy after all that has happened feels really hard. He stands near me at the pick up counter, repeatedly starting to say something, but neither of us seems to know what to do with ourselves.
He’s impossibly handsome, champagne or not. And I can’t quite seem to get my system to calm down around him. My drink is called at the same time as his. I reach forward to grab it and our hands brush as we both take hold of our cups. “Eh, sorry about that,” I offer, ignoring the tingles racing up my arm.
“Oh, it’s no problem.” He holds the door open for me as we exit Bobbi’s. “Wait, do you live around here?”
I’m caught off guard by his question, but I suppose it’s fair seeing as we’re both on foot and there are no cars parked around the boardwalk this early. “Yes, I live a couple streets down on Willow.”
“This is me.” Owen points up at the apartment building a few doors down from Bobbi’s. Shit. He lives close to me too. I’m not sure this could get any more ridiculous.
“Nice, we’ll have to meet for coffee sometime.” I gesture towards the shop and wish I could die right there. “Not like a date, or anything, just like a work thing…” trailing off, I stand in disbelief at my own words. A date? A date!
He just smiles at me again, giving me a look as if he’s figured me out. “I’ll see you at work, Poppy.” My body shivers at how he says my name, but I just wave and turn to walk back towards home. I’m sure I’ll just see him again in half an hour at school. Do I want to see him?
What are you doing?
***
After recounting today’s episode of Can Poppy Embarrass Herself Any More , Noah laughs and asks what I’ve been questioning myself since I first saw Owen here at the high school: “Are you interested in him? It certainly seems like he gets you all bothered.” Another laugh.
“I can’t be. We’re coworkers and I am still trying to figure things out after Steven. That really messed with me, obviously, and I’m not sure I can do that again.” Nervously fluffing my hair with one hand, I forcibly turn my attention to taking stock of the state of my supplies after last semester. It will be so good to have the kids back, and I’m sure it will work wonders to distract my brain from everything about my ex and worrying about when I’ll finally run into him again.
“But what if you end up blissfully happy? Wouldn’t all the heartache, tears, and struggle be worth it then?” Noah stands in front of me, gently looking at me, questioning my resolve.
“I haven’t decided yet.” Averting my gaze from his piercing stare, I continue my route of setting up the tables. “And who is to say that it would even be with Owen?”
“Who is to say that it isn’t? He’s a great guy, truly. I know the timing is off, but promise me you’ll at least think about it?”
Sighing, I drop the last paintbrushes I’ve been counting before meeting his eyes, “I’ll try to.”
Erin’s voice calls out over the intercoms, signaling the imminent start of our next session and my deliverance from having to talk or think about this for any longer.