Chapter Thirteen #2
I peeked at her through my fingers. “I’m not discussing this.”
“So that’s a no,” Palila said.
“It’s a very firm no.” I dropped my hands. “I really care about Brady. He’s the little brother I’ve always wanted.”
Palila sucked in a breath and slapped a hand against her chest. “You family-zoned a Holliston.”
Emma lost it then, laughing outright.
Mabel shook her head. “Poor Brady.”
“Or lucky Brady. Nora’s a handful,” Kai said from the corner of the kitchen.
My mouth dropped open, and I spun on him. “No one invited you into this conversation so zip it.”
His laugh was deep. “Point proven.” But he respectfully walked out of the kitchen.
Palila made a disgusted sound. “I need to get out of this town before I kill my brother.”
I laughed, because she sounded so serious.
Emma returned her attention to me. “For clarification, the ski trips, the dinners, the New York hangouts were innocent . . .”
“You make it sound like they were crimes.”
“—and not dates?”
“Not to me!” I said in exasperation.
Emma pressed her lips together. “I really need you to hear how bad that sounds.”
“I know,” I groaned. “I know now.”
Mabel turned down the stove and finally faced me fully. “Why now?” She studied my expression, then asked, “Are you seeing someone?”
“No,” I answered in a thick voice.
Palila’s eyes narrowed. “Wishing you were seeing someone you’re not?”
The room shifted. Still warm, but the truth was sitting in the middle of the kitchen with nowhere left to hide. I looked down at the cutting board—at the ridiculous pile of cucumbers I had apparently overcommitted to in my distress.
Then I said it. “Evan.”
Silence. Then Palila whispered, “Oh.”
Emma didn’t look surprised, just sad, in the way good friends get when they realize how long you’ve been carrying something alone. “You always did have something for him.”
I let out a shaky breath. “Was I that obvious?”
Mabel paused and lay a supportive hand on my shoulder. “Only to those who love you.”
That was a kind way of saying yes. I groaned.
Palila ticked off time on her fingers. “He’s good looking, but you’ve had boyfriends. Remember that guy . . . I forget his name. And then that other guy. He was a musician. Wasn’t he? Why can’t I remember?”
I made a face. “Because they didn’t matter.”
Emma nodded in understanding.
Palila leaned both elbows on the counter. “Okay. That’s tragic. Did you sleep with them?”
Mabel intervened from the spot she’d returned to across the kitchen. “Palila.”
“Right,” Palila said. “Sorry. Irrelevant.”
Emma’s mouth rounded. “Evan thinks you’re dating Brady.”
I closed my eyes. “Yes.”
Mabel let out a long breath and set the spoon down. “Poor Evan.”
My eyes flew to her. “Poor him? He keeps leaving.”
Palila slapped the counter. “Well, did you expect him to stay and watch you hook up with his brother?”
I stared at them. “I have never and will never hook up with Brady.”
“But,” Emma stressed, “Evan doesn’t know that.”
Palila added, “Okay, if Evan has any feelings for Nora at all, why has he told everyone she has the right to date his brother?”
Emma sniffed. “Because he cares about her happiness more than he cares about his own?”
Mabel put a hand over her heart. “Which would mean he loves her.”
Palila began pacing, clutching a dish towel like she was preparing for battle. “Do we have any evidence that he likes Nora? As more than a friend?”
Mabel shut her eyes. “We have eyes.”
Emma nodded solemnly. “He’s always looking out for her.”
I covered my face again. “Please stop.”
“No,” Palila said. “Because I need you to appreciate what’s happening. Even if he doesn’t have feelings for you—which, frankly, I find hard to believe—he always has gone out of his way to make sure you’re okay.”
Mabel pointed her spoon at me. “Always.”
“Which,” Emma added, “doesn’t mean he loves her.”
“But it means he might,” Palila said.
All three of them went still. Then Mabel smiled. “Nora,” she said. “What are your feelings for Evan?”
I let my hands drop. “Can I plead the Fifth?”
Emma answered, “Not with your friends.”
In a small voice, I said, “No one compares to Evan. No one ever has.”
Palila nodded. “Good. We’re making progress.”
Emma tilted her head. “Does he know?”
I laughed so hard it startled one of the kids across the room. “No.”
“Have you told him you’re not dating Brady?”
“Also no.”
Three faces stared at me.
“I’m trying,” I said defensively.
Palila nearly dropped the dish towel. “What do you mean you’re trying? What are you doing?”
“I—I—” I stopped. Because I was handling the situation with Brady and Evan the same way I’d handled the death of my mother.
I was hoping that if I looked away from the storm and kept focused on the parts of my life that were clear skies and sunshine, I’d be okay.
We’d all be okay. But somehow, the same coping mechanism that had once helped me be happy was now making my life worse.
“I’m pretending none of this is a problem. And I’m not proud of that.”
Emma answered for me. “Because it’s hard.”
I looked at her. “Yes. Because it’s hard.”
Palila crossed her arms. “You have to tell them. Both of them.”
I stared at the salad bowl. “I know.”
Emma shrugged. “You’ll feel better afterward.”
Palila leaned forward. “Or worse.”
“Or both,” Mabel said, as if settling a legal dispute. “But you’ll know you did the right thing. Brady deserves the truth and so does Evan.”
“And me?” I asked.
Mabel’s gaze softened. “You might feel stupid or sad or angry with us for encouraging you. But all of that is okay. You can’t enjoy life if you’re always choosing the safest path. You know what I say about skinned knees . . .”
Palila, Emma and I, in unison, recited, “If you don’t have scars on them, you didn’t play hard enough as a child.”
Mabel smiled. “The same is true of your heart. To find true love, you have to be willing to risk getting hurt. Are you willing to do that, Nora?”
When I considered the alternative, the answer was clear. “I am.”
Palila grinned. “Yes!”
Emma reached for another head of lettuce. “I feel like this has been a productive intervention.”
The kitchen temporarily broke into chaos as a few of Mabel’s grandchildren ran through, but as soon as it quieted, Palila gasped. She looked at Emma, then at Mabel, then at me. “You have to go to New York.”
I blinked. “What?”
Mabel waved her spoon for emphasis. “Yes.”
I looked back and forth between my friends. “Absolutely not.”
“Absolutely yes,” Emma corrected. “And if I were going to New York to tell a man how I felt, I’d be figuring out which dress I could borrow.”
Palila pointed at me. “You never take advantage of the fact that you’re disgustingly rich, but you should.”
Mabel hummed thoughtfully. “That does seem wasteful.”
“What are we even talking about?”
“About you having some fun for a change,” Emma stressed. “With Evan.”
I laughed at the absurdity. “Are you suggesting I go to New York?”
“Yes,” said Palila.
“Yes,” said Emma.
“Oh, definitely yes,” said Mabel.
“Have all of you lost your minds?”
Palila grinned. “Possibly. But think about it. We go into town this weekend, spend some of that money you keep pretending you don’t have, and find you something so beautiful that Evan Holliston wakes up and realizes you two belong together.”
Emma held up a leaf of lettuce. “The kind of dress you’ll keep in your closet and wear on your anniversaries.”
I laughed so hard I had to grab the counter. “This is insane.”
“This,” Palila said, “is genius.”
Mabel pointed her spoon at me again. “Maybe a bit of both.”
“We could make a trip of this. Do a spa day.”
I couldn’t stop smiling. Suddenly, it didn’t feel terrifying. It felt wonderful. Laughter, dresses, and the truth waiting on the other side. “My treat.”
“Then even I’m in,” Mabel said without missing a beat.
“Okay,” I said, feeling euphoric and hopeful.
The room froze. Palila leaned in. “I love this.”
I smiled, giddily. “Me too. We can even get a hotel suite and stay overnight.”
Palila screamed. Emma laughed so hard she had to set the knife down. Mabel just smiled like she’d known all along. “Don’t forget the champagne and strawberries. I’ve always wanted to try that.”
“Oh, I’m about to rock your worlds.” I looked down at the salad and the life I’d half-lived. “I have a credit card with a limit we should test. I mean, I shouldn’t be the only one who buys a dress. And some shoes. And maybe a purse or two.”
Palila grabbed my hands. “Solely as moral support.”
And just like that, somewhere between the salad and dessert, going to New York stopped being something I wanted to put off and started feeling like a plan that couldn’t go wrong.